Losing it!

My husband called me today and said that he almost got fired today because I call him to much at work. He wasn't mad about it just scared of losing his job in my defense I call about 60 percent of the time and he calls about 40 percent of the time. Whatever I guess. The point is I felt like absolutely crap about the whole thing. I really think I am on the verge of a break down. How do you know when you are? Lately I can't handle anything without either a. getting extremely hysterical, b. getting extremely angry (Punching things, throwing the telephone, or c. drinking and cutting myself. I can't handle much more I think and I think I have exhausted my family. I am starting to feel like I am in crisis but I am not sure. I am not suicidal at all. Just falling apart! Help!

Jenn

Hun, it sounds to me like you really need to get some professional help. You don't need to feel this way.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

I am seeing my therapist tomorrow and I debated whether to page either my psych. or my therapist but I am not sure what they can do. I am so tearful right now. Am crying as I write this.

Jenn

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sunshine}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm sorry you're so upset. Your psych. will know exactly what to do. That's what he was trained for. It may take some time to work, but just hang in there. It will all get better. In the meantime, try calling a family member instead of your hubby. They may not be much help unless you put it to them straight, but at least it will be a distraction for the time being.

You can always come on here, although you may have to wait for a response, but you know someone will respond soon.

Please don't beat yourself up, ok? You're beat up enough by the illness. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself as you would your own child. Sounds silly, but it works wonders. Promise!

Hang in there!




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

September,
Thanks so much for your caring words. You are very kind you are so very kind. I think the kindest people I have ever met in my life were the people with mental health issues. I think we know how tough life can be and it makes more in tuned and sensitive to others. I have a long night ahead of me. I am fighting my obsessions from OCD and my desire to cut. I am sorry guys I dont' want to overburn you all.

Jenn

lots of warm and fuzzie's comeing at you..

holding you till you can get to the person that can help you the most online..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

You're not overburdening us, Hun. If someone reads your posts and can't handle it, they'll just move on to something lighter. Please don't worry about anyone else but yourself. If there is anything one of us can do to help you, please let us know.

Hang in, ok? Take it minute by minute, step by step.




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Sunshine

I hope your therapist can help you tomorrow. You should always feel free to call them, even if you are not sure what they can do, because they're the ones who know what they can do but they won't be able to do it if they don't know.

Did that make sense?

At my worst I also always struggle with the "should I call?" issue... sometimes I feel that if I want to call a hotline, it is because I know I am not suicidal, but if I'm not suicidal, maybe I shouldn't be calling a hotline? I try to force myself to realize that they are there to help no matter what the problem... and if it is serious enough that I am wondering whether to call or not then that means I should call.

Good luck Sunshine, I hope you can find some relief tomorrow. I am also glad that your husband wasn't mad... this is something that you can work out together practically (it was a good idea to try calling a family member instead of your husband) and work out the stress part of it with your therapy and/or here on the board.

Don't be reluctant to post here, that's what we are here for.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

Thanks guys you have been so supportive to me. I have alot to talk about with my therapist. You guys are so teriffic! Again thank you so much.

Jenn

How you doin' today, Hun?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sunshine}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}




<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Hey September,
I am doing better today thank you so much for asking it means alot to me that you thought of me. I saw my therapist and we spoke for awhile and it helped. I spoke to my husband last night and that helped too. Thanks Again!

Jenn

Hi Jenn! I'm glad you're feeling better. One thing I did to help me when I was debating whether or not to call was to ask my therapist exactly when it's appropriate. That helped a lot.
If you are having a hard time not cutting yourself, you are in crisis. The last time I went to the hospital and the nurse was asking me if I was suicidal, I told her no, I 'just" wanted to cut myself. She said they consider that suicidal because people do end up killing themselves even though that wasn't their intention. She told me she had seen it many times. That really stuck with me. It broke through my denial that cutting myself wasn't a big deal. It is. The other thing I try to remind myself is that hurting myself is just a continuation of the abuse that was inflicted on me. No one deserves to be hurt that way. We are all precious.
Have they thought about increasing your meds? What you described sounds a lot like I am when my meds need to be adjusted. I am glad you're feeling better. I'm also sorry about the calling your husband at work thing. That must have been very hard to hear. I'm glad talking with him made it better. I care about you and hope you continue to feel better. If not share away! Annie

Annie,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I decided that I will go on the side of caution whenever I feel close to the edge like that again and page my therapist. I am due to see my psych. doc. next week and will discuss all my recent issues with her then and I guess we will decide whether or not meds need to be changed. Again I really appreciate your kindness.
{{{{Annie}}}}}

Jenn