[Kotomi]

I don't even know if I put this in the right section... Sorry if it's in the worng section, anyways.

Aah, so, back to the title.

My personality is constantly changing and I'm not sure what to do with it. For example, I'll be typing up a post with em ranting about something -- but then I'll just stop once I finish it and then hold down the backspace button and then call myself stupid for ranting. I'll be very depressed one moment and then it will just go away.

At times, I'll just have a short temper and will snap at anybody. Usually scaring them off.. Then after that I'll feel lonely because I scared people off and nobody really would like to talk to me when I'm angry -- for no reason. =\

It's really confusing me now. I don't know what to think of emotions anymore. I can be totally blunt at times but then later I'll look back and get upset with myself for being so un-sympathetic.. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is real.

I don't know.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Kotomi

I don't even know if I put this in the right section... Sorry if it's in the worng section, anyways.

Aah, so, back to the title.

My personality is constantly changing and I'm not sure what to do with it. For example, I'll be typing up a post with em ranting about something -- but then I'll just stop once I finish it and then hold down the backspace button and then call myself stupid for ranting. I'll be very depressed one moment and then it will just go away.

At times, I'll just have a short temper and will snap at anybody. Usually scaring them off.. Then after that I'll feel lonely because I scared people off and nobody really would like to talk to me when I'm angry -- for no reason. =\

It's really confusing me now. I don't know what to think of emotions anymore. I can be totally blunt at times but then later I'll look back and get upset with myself for being so un-sympathetic.. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is real.

I don't know.

There probably could be a variety of reasons. For myself, I felt like this alot when I first started trying to get in touch with my emotions. I grew up in a house where nothing was acceptable. Something could make me happy but then I would be told it shouldn't have so I would try to feel whatever my mom thought I should. Once I got older, I did not know what the appropriate reaction/emotion should be so I would berate myself for feeling one way and make myself feel a whole gambit of emotions. I am learning it is ok to feel whatever but that I also can check with friends if I think I might be taking something the wrong way or over-reacting. Hope this helps...at least know I am listening to you and how you feel is important.

[barleysmile]

Sounds like you are not allowing yourself. I agree with silentwhisper on this. If you were corrected for your feelings growing up, you might be second guessing yourself, no confidence. So, what to do? I dunno. I'm the same way. I've just shut up now, become way to passive. I'm thinking this is not the way to go. So, let us know what you discover, ok? I say if you catch yourself ranting on this website, do it. No more backspacing, online or in life.

Peace.

hi...I am wolfsong..Is it possible that you have borderline personality disorder?I do...it happens alot to people who have been abused as children.I am not a doctor...so don't take it to heart.But perhaps research this a bit?Keep posting .I shall like to se what you think.Huggs of the safe type.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by Kotomi

I don't even know if I put this in the right section... Sorry if it's in the worng section, anyways.

Aah, so, back to the title.

My personality is constantly changing and I'm not sure what to do with it. For example, I'll be typing up a post with em ranting about something -- but then I'll just stop once I finish it and then hold down the backspace button and then call myself stupid for ranting. I'll be very depressed one moment and then it will just go away.

At times, I'll just have a short temper and will snap at anybody. Usually scaring them off.. Then after that I'll feel lonely because I scared people off and nobody really would like to talk to me when I'm angry -- for no reason. =\

It's really confusing me now. I don't know what to think of emotions anymore. I can be totally blunt at times but then later I'll look back and get upset with myself for being so un-sympathetic.. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is real.

I don't know.

Dear Kotomi,

I'm sorry you are feeling confused over all this, it can be a rollercoaster of a ride and very fearful at times.

Though the quizzes here aren't diagnostic, they can give you an idea to take to your doctor so that you can discuss them and get help and treatment.

Please take care and continue to post so that we can support you and go through this with you.

Most important thing to remember is that just because you have mood swings it doesn't make you a bad person,

Rhiannon

[Kotomi]

I grew up in a good environment as a kid...

But the closes I had to abuse was my older brother. He physically and mentally hurt me a lot... And still does. He did correct me on how to feel when I told him about being depressed he told me not to because people have it worse. So I just held it in form there. He would punch me plenty of times as a kid and would get angry with me easily. I wasn't quite sure what I had done wrong.... He still hurts me today, but it's more mental now than physical pain.

To be honest, I'm pretty happy that I don't have to be punched as often. But he really isn't all that bad of a person, even though he hurts me, he can be nice when he wants to -- though it's rare... Like I said before, I should be glad that it's getting better as he gets older.

[ericmaciasexhausted]

I used to have a pleasant personality when? I was younger and now that. I'm 30 it's changed drastically over the years and although. It's not so nice and anyway sorry if. I'm talking out of turn and maybe it is worse now? I tend to let things get out of proportion and. I can't help myself anymore than. I once could and it's a scary sight for people around me?! It's like my. Family and friends have been driving me really and they're making me furious and. I'm flippen out on them!!!!!!! I just don't know what the hell to do anymore?!? I'm so sick and tired of them making me go crazier on them and couldn't they just leave me alone???? I hate them so much with each passing day/night as well. I just want them to leave me the heck alone!!!! I don't care what they say to me anymore? I especially can't stand my. Mom or my Aunt anymore and even though they're sisters. I think they've turned against me over the time. I've been really moody,negative,hateful and lying to them but how if they were me for awhile and. I was them and we roll play a for a little bit?! I bet they wouldn't like to be me for awhile?!?

[possum220]

Hi kotomi

Brothers can be a royal pain in the butt. He has no right to tell you how to feel. He has no right to abuse you in any shape or form. You have a right to be who you are. It may be helpful for you to talk to a psychologist to be heard and find strategies to deal with your brother.

Hi exhausted

Have you gone to your doctor and had some tests done on your hormone level? Something to think about.....

[Ask Me...I'll Try]

Honestly I've had it rough too. To the point were I was assaulted by hellishly strong people for their amusement in hostel. Due to this I have memory issues and my heart pounds when I stress to eventually my entire body starts to itch. I was incorrectly diagnosed with a sevear case of ADHD and ADD. They put me on Ritalinr and Concerta. These drugs called the chemicals in my brain to do some weird nonsense. I had mood swings of rage to were I got upset with a cactus and slapped it to the ground, instantly regretting it of course. Then one day I decided not to care and completely adapt my own personality to suite the situation. I force myself to be calm and collected as much as possible. Inside I want to cry every second I think about it but I can, as in I physically can't anymore. My old and new personalities are mixed up and it leaves me in a battlefield of complex emotions with is why I can't Handle a relationship (as much I I would love to...) and I hate myself forbeing like my old self from Time to time. Also since the medication mentioned earlier was wrongfully prescribed to me I also gained weight fast which led to more being bullied and more changing my personality to try and survive. I believe that was are a few rare people who can completely and utterly change ourselves to survive our situation and try to shed ourselves of the past.

Remember, your personality is a combination of your upbringing and life experiences. It's not uncommon to have a adapted personality after a major life experience.

I wish the best to all that have read this and hope you find inner peace with yourself. I find that practicing Chinese kungfu and mixed martial arts are a great way to channel energy and find your self after becoming lost.

[affiligate]

Originally Posted by Kotomi

I don't even know if I put this in the right section... Sorry if it's in the worng section, anyways.

Aah, so, back to the title.

My personality is constantly changing and I'm not sure what to do with it. For example, I'll be typing up a post with em ranting about something -- but then I'll just stop once I finish it and then hold down the backspace button and then call myself stupid for ranting. I'll be very depressed one moment and then it will just go away.

At times, I'll just have a short temper and will snap at anybody. Usually scaring them off.. Then after that I'll feel lonely because I scared people off and nobody really would like to talk to me when I'm angry -- for no reason. =\

It's really confusing me now. I don't know what to think of emotions anymore. I can be totally blunt at times but then later I'll look back and get upset with myself for being so un-sympathetic.. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is real.

I don't know.

Sounds like you are not allowing yourself. I agree with silentwhisper on this. If you were corrected for your feelings growing up, you might be second guessing yourself, no confidence. So, what to do? I dunno. I'm the same way. I've just shut up now, become way to passive. I'm thinking this is not the way to go. So, let us know what you discover, ok? I say if you catch yourself ranting on this website, do it. No more backspacing, online or in life.

Peace.