Is anyone else ashamed of being smart?

Does anyone else with a high intelligence/high education level (one or more graduate degrees) feel really ashamed about it? I really try hard to appear average or maybe just slightly above average.

I've never figured out why people find intelligence attractive. I would not want someone to be attracted to me for that reason (although that has happened in the past) but apparently, that's the only option as that might be my only redeeming characteristic.

And when people know you're intelligent you're either exploited or made fun of when you can't do something or if you're doing something that someone else deems to be below your level.

That and you're always so bored and depressed...it takes so much more to keep your brain engaged.

But I always get found out.

I just wish I were average. I have yet to discover benefits to having a high IQ other than it attracts people with a fetish for intelligence which wouldn't be the sort I'd want attract.

A psychiatrist once told me I might be happier if we could find a valve and drain off a few IQ points.

It really doesn't do much good, because it makes us out of step with other people, and they tend not to like us very much. Because sometimes they get the impression we're trying to make them feel dumb. I really have to work on that.

I'm sure there are some who don't like me that much, I sure hope I don't make people feel dumb. I've worked with special needs students and I sure hope I didn't make them feel dumb...I try to act that way with other people too although I admit I haven't always.

But I also don't like the fetishizing of it...I don't know if anyone has experienced that here? It may be my only attractive feature so I might have to just deal with it.

I'm not ashamed of my IQ, but I'm also not the kind to go around bragging about it and pushing it in other people's faces, so because it doesn't make me a bad person I don't have any reason to feel ashamed. I'm not "book smart" in the least, so it's easy for me to hide the fact that I have a higher than average IQ. I'm also not way way up there, just above average.

The only time I wanted to throw it in someone's face was a "rival" in high school who was super book smart and was always bragging about her IQ (it was either 115 or 118, I can't remember now). I so badly wanted to tell her that I'm smarter than her despite how I failed at school because I hated it, but because I did fail at school I knew it wouldn't have much weight and I didn't have any way to prove it otherwise because I didn't carry around a paper or something like a twat to prove I'm smart.

I'm not ashamed of it; I rarely talk about it. Privately, it's all I have.

I almost always find that people who aren't "book smart" tend to be smarter in more useful ways. And that's interesting...I wouldn't think 115/118 would be high enough to brag about? I mean, it's higher than average, but I guess I'm always shocked at how low average actually is.

I'm always afraid that it's all I have too.

As a science student I can confirm "high intelligence" doesn't mean crap. From my own academic experience, "book smarts" will not get you anywhere, even in academia. A lot of people think biology is a soft science without acknowledging the fact that there are a lot of higher level math-intensive classes, and higher level biology is incomplete without mathematics.


In science, as you probably know, subjects are generally classified as either theoretical or practical. Theoretical subjects are more pen and paper, chalk and board types. "Book smarts" aren't useful there at all, because memorizing 'Kingdom plantae contains all multicellular, eukaryotic, photosynthetic plants' will not be useful, as there will be application-based questions, like,

"A statement of assertion is followed by a statement of reason. Determine whether they are correct.
1) Assertion : Algae and fungi are grouped under thallophya.
Reason : They show no thallus differentiation. "
Even this, is pretty introductory level compared to lab work students have to face in higher classes. So you shouldn't have 'book smarts' to be a good science student, you must have a passion to learn, let it be practical or theoretical. You must apply the theoretical knowledge to gain benefit from it. It is important to understand functional groups to eventually run tests for determination of organic compounds in the lab. And in science, lab work is what actually matters.

ShadowGX, I am one of the smartest folks in my college but unfortunately due to my mental illness I am not differentiated from others. And of course, other factors like victimization also come into play. Grades do not mean anything, except of course if they're consistent and get you admitted and you actually turn those book smarts into something good for the rest of the biosphere.

I'm sorry for all those who are struggling with this...

115 is actually still average IQ. On a higher end of it but why would someone brag about it?

Google said it's above average, so meh.

She was very full of herself, to say the least. Her brother and sister were very popular and because of that she got to pretend to be popular too, but secretly a lot of people hated her or were very annoyed by her because she was such a braggart. She was one of those straight A students, but she didn't let people forget it.

I just want to point out that the level of one's schooling is absolutely no measure of intelligence or smarts (there is a difference between the two). I know of many people who have a high degree of one, the other, or both who have no more than a secondary education. Similarly, I have met numerous people who are below average IQ or pretty dumb about things that have managed to make it through some post secondary education.

Intelligence pertains to IQ level and is essentially about intellectual capacity. Incidentally, an IQ of 115 is nothing at all to brag about. Being smart on the other hand is a better indication of the knowledge one possesses - and it need not be founded in higher education. I tend to find the second more important - and interesting - than the first. Now, having a great deal of smarts IS something to brag about.

Some people just are full of themselves regardless.

Yeah 115 is just one standard deviation above 100 so it makes it in the average range. Yeah straight A could mean many things. Some people might just be too lazy to earn all As regardless of their smarts, they might settle for Bs. Doesn’t make them less smart. Heck Einstein didn’t do that great in school. It means nothing

IQ scores could be also effected by ton of other factors. Anxiety, other disorders, emotional state at the moment of testing etc IQ isn’t the only way to measure intelligence.

I agree.

I also think with higher education becoming more attainable and in fact easier to get, having degrees doesn’t automatically means having smarts or being intelligent.

Ton of universities have rather low acceptance requirements etc Ive met some people in grad school who I am not even sure how they got undergrad degree. They could not perform a simple task.

In addition to it there are ton of online schools nowadays. I’ve met several online universities graduates and I don’t even know how they graduated high school let alone college

My IQ is average I guess, but I am glad to have emotional intelligence....Some people are smart in school and dumb in life, I have found (as in, working with the Professors at my University).

That's perfectly me.

I'm not ashamed of it, but I don't brag about it either. I have a Master's degree, but don't talk about it. It's just a tool I earned to be able to do the work I do.

To me higher education does not necessarily mean smarter. One of my friends is incredibly bright and has a high school education. My husband was brilliant but never finished his Bachelor's because he could be bothered to take classes he was not interested in.

edited to add...

I have a friend whose granddaughter is in her last year of vet school. Her two sisters sailed through school with As and Bs and didn't have to work for them. She had to bust her backside for similar grades. Her senior year of college three of the top vet schools recruited her to come to their program. She'll get her DVM next May. A local vet woed her into joining their practice when she graduates. She currently at Cornell after being invited to a symposium there. Cornell is one of the most prestigious vet colleges in the country. She might not be the smartest of the sisters, but she sure has accomplished a whole heck of a lot!

I just feel like a terrible person asking students to call me Dr. I'm such a fraud. I applied to a well-known school in my field but didn't make it in because they didn't want me for a TA. I was clearly to worthless and stupid to apply to any other better schools so I just applied to where I got my Masters. I'm clearly not good enough to teach college so I'm hoping I'm good enough to teach high school. Probably not as I'll have to beat out people who just graduated with their bachelors. You know, with a REAL education degree instead of a doctorate and a certification. I'll never be a real teacher. I'll never be a real ANYTHING. No wonder my ex left me...he's a REAL college professor, a REAL musician, a REAL person! I'm none of those things and never will be now. I shouldn't have lived past 24 or 25. That must be the biggest mistake I ever made.

Teaching is one of the hardest jobs out there. It takes a skill set that there is no formal qualification, or intelligence test currently available to indicate likely ability. Einstein's brain & wall of diplomas won't guarantee an ability to teach - that requires an enthusiasm, tenacity & sense of how best to work with each student that can't readily be taught. Hiring boards may also not be the best judge of these abilities, so don't take rejection as a reason not to try again, if there's anything inside that makes you think that you can do it.

As for the original question: Not embarrassed at all - I've learned not to compare myself to others by singular metrics like IQ. It's the sum of the parts that matters...

I agree that it’s the sum of the parts that matters.

I also think some people are full of themselves whether “intelligent” or not. If taken to extremes, this bores me.

Thanks for this post

Google said 115 is above average?Seriously? I'm surprised.

And you are a REAL person, real teacher, real musician, with a very REAL heart .

Okay, first off, not bashing anyone, but the phrase "book smarts" really riles me up. It's ********. It's always used in a way to demean someone as "just being book smart" or as if to refer to the fact that they are somehow deficient in other ways. I know I'm projecting but let me vent for a second. My whole life I was demeaned as just being "book smart." Meaning I was just good at memorizing stuff. Learning new subjects and content isn't just about memorizing stuff. And this "memorization/book smarts" was also somehow applied to the fact that I played four instruments and was a talented artist. Those were all book smarts. And for some reason, people like to tell you that your just book smart and someone else is street smart like you're not street smart too. I was freaking street smart enough not to get hit by my father for stupid ****, wasn't I? Street smart enough not to get beat up on Halloween like my oh-so-street-smart brother, wasn't I?

Okay, obviously that's a trigger for me. I acknowledge and appreciate that the person who mentioned the phrase before me did not mean it that way. They meant successful in academic work, which is far more than just memorizing stuff. Being good in academics takes critical thinking and problem-solving. It's so often tossed aside like "you're book smart" like everyone is or like it doesn't take any work to master a subject.

So, on that note, I have often pretended to be dumber than I am because I was put down for being smart or talented or successful. At this point, I don't care. I'm tired of living small and doing small because I'm afraid of someone else's feelings. And that's usually what it's about. Others get hurt because we're special and have some talent they don't have.

I can't waste time worrying about how other people feel about themselves because I am living to my full potential.

I don't know if I got off topic. Sorry if I did. But this really hit home with me.

Strangely enough, this just popped up in my FB feed from PC. About toxic shame:

A Brief Guide to Unprocessed Childhood Toxic Shame | The Psychology of Self

Seesaw, your links not working for me.

msnyder11, I tried the one in post#23 and it worked. Try this and see A Brief Guide to Unprocessed Childhood Toxic Shame | The Psychology of Self

If that does not work then you may want to check your browser settings.