[frommars]

i don't even know how to describe this feeling, its so strange.

I have this awful feeling of needing someone to take care of me. it sounds so silly but it is actually painful. i dont feel capable of getting through the day and by the time i get home from work im barely able to move half the time.

i need to feel protected but there is nobody there to do this.

i am almost afraid to say this because i feel like ill be judged but i kind of gravitate towards childish things (stuffed animals, pink, fuzzy things, etc...), and ive had people call me childish/immature/naive (i dont think that last one is true, maybe the first two). i won't have sex, i'm purity obsessed.

i dont know how to get this feeling out of me. i feel like i should be about 9 years old. im 24.

i just desperately want someone to help me. i know nobody is coming to save me, but i can't get rid of that feeling and need. every night i go to bed wishing i could feel safe

[MuseumGhost]

I think there's a part of all of us that always feels that way. Sometimes, it rests quieter than at other times.

Are you new to where you live? Do you have access to a therapist?

I hope no one here ever thinks of making fun of you. Those feelings are legitimate. If anyone does, report them to a moderator ASAP, and block that member (place them on your Ignore list).

I know I have felt that way when my anxiety got very bad, a few years back.

Please let us know if there's more we can do for you.

[Breaking Dawn]

Wishing you the best! Please hang in there! We are here for you!

[frommars]

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

I think there's a part of all of us that always feels that way. Sometimes, it rests quieter than at other times.

Are you new to where you live? Do you have access to a therapist?

I hope no one here ever thinks of making fun of you. Those feelings are legitimate. If anyone does, report them to a moderator ASAP, and block that member (place them on your Ignore list).

I know I have felt that way when my anxiety got very bad, a few years back.

Please let us know if there's more we can do for you.

ive been in a new city for about a year but even at home i felt like this. i dont have access to a therapist right now.

i do have a lot of anxiety so maybe its that. its just, everyone seems to be moving forward and im going backwards.

thank you

[Fuzzybear]

I'm wishing you the best. Keep posting if it helps

[MuseumGhost]

((((hugggs)))), frommars, thanks for letting us know.

I also should have asked if you're seeing a doctor, and whether anxiety has been discussed. Are you taking any medications for it?

I have good and bad days, lately. My depression has lifted a lot, but my anxiety remains bad. And I have developed physical health problems that have brought with them a great deal of worry. So I can understand how you're feeling.

For instance, I feel more secure when my husband is close at hand, rather than if he's off doing something and is preoccupied. This is very different for me---I used to be so strong and independent, and adored my free time by myself.

But, for me, these feelings come and go, and vary in intensity.

I hope you can find people you feel comfortable talking to.

This is a good place to start.

[mote.of.soul]

It'll be okay @frommars.🙏 Being on your own and feeling burdened by the anxiety would, I feel, make you wish there was someone to help you like a good friend might help you. I've been there too. These feelings are difficult and real, and I hope reaching out on here will help to, at least, alleviate the burden a bit. Things will likely come together for you eventually, so, that's something to aim for in this respect.🙏

[*Beth*]

I am married and have 2 grown children, but I have lived alone for over 7 years. I do well with living alone because I have to do well. Truth be told, I hate it. I am afraid and anxious all the time, especially near bedtime. I would like someone to help take care of me, and of other responsibilities, more than they do. My husband helps me some with a few very basic chores. I am immensely grateful, but what he does is a far cry from what I really need.

I very easily understand how you feel frommars. I truly don't think the way you feel is as odd as you may think it is.

[Open Eyes]

@frommars I noticed your thread in the relationship forum about your mother. It’s good that you have distanced from her because she is a very unhealthy person. Just because we distance from a toxic environment or person doesn’t mean we are fixed or healed. Instead it gives us a chance to become self aware in terms of how a person or environment affected us.

It’s normal to have an insecure childlike part in self. It’s not uncommon to feel that to be around age 8 or 9 because it’s at this stage of development that we become more aware of how vulnerable we are.

It sounds like at age nine you experienced some stress at school about doing well. Then when you got home there was instability there too. It’s not unusual to experience these feelings even away from school and home. Understanding this gives each person a better understanding of self so they can slowly learn to build up ways to feel safer.

[Procrastonator]

I sometimes feel like a "man child" myself. I like to play Roblox and got plush toys. I sort of like the colour pink as well. I'm 22 years old.
Instead of pushing it away, I embrace my child like interests. I used to bring my green plush puppy into work everyday and people usually find it adorable.
As for wanting someone to take care of you, maybe you need to learn to become a bit more independent. Unfortunately you can't always rely on other people other than yourself. If you don't do this already, maybe try to cook something for yourself! When I lived on my own, I would bake and cook different things.

(P.S: I just realized my profile pic has a pink plush toy )

[Mendingmysoul]

May be your inner child is reaching out to you.There are unmet needs from our childhood,which needs to be fulfilled. Do a lot of self care.If our parents have failed to fulfill our needs ,we are stuck in that phase of needing someone to take care of us ,even when we are adults and can take care of ourselves. Reparent yourself.There are a lot of skills,Google it.You did a good thing by moving out.Donot consider going back.You can still love your mom from afar. Focus on your healing.You can do it.Hugs.

[Lokebee]

Hey. I’m new here. Hope you feel better

[Masks2many]

I see your point of view as valid in my life too. I am 75 and in looking back, I still miss the time in childhood when thinking about things seemed simply black or white. As life got more complex, my brain had to learn how to deal with the "gray" by factoring in more points of views within the family, school and community---and now globally. Lacking confidence, and not wanting to admit it, caused me to try on various masks, fueled by bravado, in order to have a place within the group. Dangers are everywhere and way too confusing. What was/is missing is the continual need/development of autonomy: knowing my limits (owning and learning from them without blaming) has become my strengths. I am vulnerable: life can be wonderful and connecting at times, but can also be harsh, hard, complex and scary. Adult brain's have to deal with life as is and this doesn't get easier with aging. Adapt or die.

I've seen many old people in memory care facilities still cry out for their deceased mama and papa for nurturance...seems the need/dependency for most of us is our dependency upon the kind comfort of others, right to the end. That remembered feeling of dependency within my autonomy makes me more vulnerable and humane; more authentic because bravado is no longer needed as a motivation. Hope for today is THE daily decision I "get to" make while continually becoming true to myself within this world's complexity.

[frommars]

Originally Posted by MuseumGhost

((((hugggs)))), frommars, thanks for letting us know.

I also should have asked if you're seeing a doctor, and whether anxiety has been discussed. Are you taking any medications for it?

I have good and bad days, lately. My depression has lifted a lot, but my anxiety remains bad. And I have developed physical health problems that have brought with them a great deal of worry. So I can understand how you're feeling.

For instance, I feel more secure when my husband is close at hand, rather than if he's off doing something and is preoccupied. This is very different for me---I used to be so strong and independent, and adored my free time by myself.

But, for me, these feelings come and go, and vary in intensity.

I hope you can find people you feel comfortable talking to.

This is a good place to start.

hello, no i dont take any medication. ive tried a few in the past and they made me feel weird so I stopped taking them. i dont know why this feeling is so strong and won't go away. i just desperately want someone to take care of me but at the same time im afraid of people and won't let them close. nobody seems safe enough to handle my heart.

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I am married and have 2 grown children, but I have lived alone for over 7 years. I do well with living alone because I have to do well. Truth be told, I hate it. I am afraid and anxious all the time, especially near bedtime. I would like someone to help take care of me, and of other responsibilities, more than they do. My husband helps me some with a few very basic chores. I am immensely grateful, but what he does is a far cry from what I really need.

I very easily understand how you feel frommars. I truly don't think the way you feel is as odd as you may think it is.

i hope it is not too odd because i feel it every day haha. thank you for sharing.

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

@frommars I noticed your thread in the relationship forum about your mother. It’s good that you have distanced from her because she is a very unhealthy person. Just because we distance from a toxic environment or person doesn’t mean we are fixed or healed. Instead it gives us a chance to become self aware in terms of how a person or environment affected us.

It’s normal to have an insecure childlike part in self. It’s not uncommon to feel that to be around age 8 or 9 because it’s at this stage of development that we become more aware of how vulnerable we are.

It sounds like at age nine you experienced some stress at school about doing well. Then when you got home there was instability there too. It’s not unusual to experience these feelings even away from school and home. Understanding this gives each person a better understanding of self so they can slowly learn to build up ways to feel safer.

a lot happened when i was 8 or so. i miss the security i felt from my mom before that age even though i know she's always been the same, i just started to realize things were really off around then. ever since then because of that and a lot of other things i just feel this hole in my chest all the time.