dealing with anger

thanks but i went to one and it open doors that i choise to keep close. i find it didn't help that much. but coming here to these are helping...and having friends is helping me and letting out how i feel is helping even if i guess it hurts those who hurt me...

you are so welcome and thank you too...i like coming here and talking to you guys about what i am going through and seeing that i am not the only one and that goes for you guys too.

thank you (((((((((((((((((((((( tgrspurr ))))))))))))))))))))))))

love your heart. i love and respect so many here. i don't know of another place(other than my current home) where i've felt accepted as i feel here...unconditionally...i feel like if i were to screw up majorly tomorrow, i'd be forgiven in a heartbeat. that's a rare thing and a great feeling. i can be "me" here and it's ok. i can cry and it's ok. these are GREAT things.

truly i am blessed

you can be yourself with us. and i feel the same way. i cry too and it is ok.

thank you (((((((((((((( debbie )))))))))))))))))) that goes for you too

you too and thank you. i was looking at the cat and i like it. how did you do that...

i did a search for automated images and i found a website that showed some. well, when i saw the kitty "hanging in there" i loved it! so, i right clicked on it and then clicked "view image" it put image on it's own page. i copied the addy for the image and put in my signature line per the instructions that are there.

your signature line is under "my profile" then you go in and edit preferences...it's there. it instructs you on how to do it. if you have any problems, pm me and i'll walk you thru it.

thanks!

thank you. i will try it..

ok see if i have one there i think i did it...

debbie, do this:

[image]addy[/image]

that should do it

i kind of trained my self to sleep when im angry but if im in a public place and im angry i replay the whole freaken day over and over and end up holding it all in and then i drive and vent it all out to the radio, cause u can yell at a radio and no one gets hurt, unless there are people in your car, then i wait and wait.

Music hath charms to soothe the savage beast. Actually, angry music when you're angry can be very cathartic.

I used to write my anger out, but my ex "cured" me of that when he started finding and reading it, and then getting angry at what I wrote when I was angry, and starting a whole new cycle of anger. Now that I'm with someone else who is more trustworthy, I probably should pick that up again, it was a very good tool, then I could go back over it in a calmer time and pick out the real issues to work on, instead of constantly working on the crap that didn't matter.

thank you so much bd and sittinspin. those are great responses to anger as well.

i honestly think i'm gong to try to start writing angry poems or something...to get it out on paper and out of me...i think that might work.

thanks again!

kd

Kimmy, I had anger built up inside me for YEARS and drowned it with booze, pills, sex, anything that would get me out of my body. What I didn't realize what that mixed in with the anger was alot of sadness. It is much easier to deal with anger than sadness cause you can get a much more satisfying "release" with rage than tears when you don't know how to express yourself in a healthy appropriate manner in either case. However if you're anything like me the guilt after blasting others that don't deserve (or even those that do) the attack then makes me even more mad at myself and the feelings of worthlessness are perpetuated all over again. What I finally ended up doing was going to an anger management group; initially because my ex-husband ended up sitting on top of me strangling me during a very vocal and nasty argument. It should never have gotten to that point but it did. I wanted to learn how to de-escalate any situation where mine or someone else's anger/rage could potentially get out of control. What I ended up finding out is that "I" also had/have anger problems; not just my husband. That was a hard pill to swallow but it saved my sanity and my life in the long run.I hooked up with the leader/therapist for some individual counseling after 6 months of group (he left group so I was able to do this) and I finally was able to get to the real issues of why I had been such an unhappy person and to start learning a new way of dealing with life.
It doesn't happen overnight but change can and does happen if you are willing to realize that it is not others that need to do the changing. And you need to be willing to remove those that trigger you from your life if they cannot respect those changes. It takes being okay with not being perfect and being okay with being in a place of non chaos. Some of us THRIVE in chaos! Okay enough from me.... I wish you love, courage, and strength to become who you want to be!
Tooter