weight gain

I was at one time about 120 pounds overweight. I eventually lost all that. I did gain about 20 pounds back, and I can already feel the strain on my back. I'm really embarrassed and depressed about it, and I just know that everyone is gawking at me and thinking, "Wow, she's getting fat again." I'm so embarrassed and depressed that I just want to hide inside and stuff my face, and gain more weight (yeah, that'll show 'em).

I can understand. I am sort of going through that now. At least you realize that overeating is not the answer.

Have you talked to your doctor about your weight issues? It can be your regular doctor, not necessarily a psychiatrist.

I'd like to send some gentle hugs your way...

Losing 120 pounds is such an achievement! Everyone has ups and downs as far as weight. You've noticed that you've gained 20 pounds back. You caught it early. What is 20 pounds compared to 120 pounds? It will come off before you know it and you'll be back to normal. You've caught it and can be more careful from now on. It's not too late! You haven't undone all your progress, even if it feels that way! Promise!

One thing i wish i had is a treadmill, get some exercise, maybe that will help

I would love a treadmill. I do have a little jogging trampoline. But I dont use it. It doesnt seem productive enough.

Don't be embarrassed.. We all know how hard it is.

You don't need a treadmill to get some exercise!

I use fitnessblender.com for workouts. It's free. There's little or no equipment required for a lot of the workouts. And there are so many to choose from!

I get really discouraged with exercise. I want to do some jogging or biking but I have too much anxiety to do any kind of exercise where I might be seen by other people. And I really don't have any expensive or specialized equipment at all. So doing this kind of thing has been a life-saver. I think exercise is discredited too quickly because people don't have all the expensive equipment right away. But what really matters is to just get moving in any way you can...

Sorry, there's my two cents...

Yeah I mentioned it. He has been wanting me to make sure I excercise anyway, because of my back and depression; plus he's a runner, so he's really big on that kind of stuff. So he gave me some helpful advice.

That's a HUGE issue for me. I'm so mortified for ANYONE to see my thighs jiggle that I barely walk across the room without wanting to kill myself. I can hardly stand to exercise by myself because I can feel them moving. I try to tell myself that if I exercised MORE, they'd jiggle LESS, but I can't get past the first hurdle. It literally makes me cry and want to grab a knife and cut my fat off.

I hate ED

Exercise feels so great. I just put on baggy clothes and wrap a sweatshirt around my waist so not to see my backside, and I go for my walk. I think most people are too busy thinking about themselves to take the time to look at someone else and think to them selvles wow that person is so fat... Whenever I see an overweight person like myself out working out I think wow that is so great... Just try to get out there and do something. A short walk around the neighborhood. It really will help mentally.

Sending hugs, if thats okay. I hope you can someday stop hating those thighs of yours. They have a story to tell. And if you could hear it, I bet you would feel compassion for them

Omg I'm so glad I found this post. I've lost exactly 120 pounds and am in the middle of a backslide too! I've gained 10 pounds back, I see it happening....but I can't stop eating. I just ate half a jar of Nutella a few minutes ago (2000 calories) and went to force myself to purge (a new habit that I'm trying to curb) but was unsuccessful. I need help, and I know it...

Please don't give up. I'm so close to giving up on myself, but I can't handle the thought of someone else giving in and just losing control. You've come to far to turn back now and you know, just as I do, what is at the end of that path.

Loneliness, depression, and more eating.

I've been fighting this battle for so long and so hard now....I don't think I've ever lived a normal life. All I've ever done is think about food and hide myself away to either eat or work it all off.

Just remember that you are who you are you should care about your body by yourself. Diet and workout to stay fit and feel better, not because of how other people view you.

Hang in there, kpt. I so feel for you. I can relate so much to your post. I too have struggled most of my life, hiding and eating, hiding and eating. I'm so tired of hiding, so tired of eating.

Keep up the good fight. And hugs to all who are struggling.

Thanks for that. I admitted my habits to me roommate today in sort of a meltdown moment...he was crazy supportive. It made me feel like I was worth the effort to keep fighting. He reminded me that others look up to those who have achieved so much....and I'd be contributing to others failures or weakness by throwing in the towel. I'd be in deep **** if it wasn't for him. Certainly my best friend.

I pick up the gear and begin recovery tomorrow morning.