[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

It's been awhile since I've been here. Hope everyone is doing well.

I have not been able to sit at a computer for any length of time. I had a lower back injury and I couldn't sit, stand, walk, lay down and was in chronic pain 24/7 until just this week I started to have some relief. Anyway, it is obvious that I must stick to a healthy diet and loose weight or the back injury will continue to reoccur as it has the past few years. It recurs more frequently and each time the pain gets worse and lasts longer. The extra weight only compounds the condition if it isn't cause of it.

I am really motivated now to eat smaller portions. I am afraid to workout or walk for too long so have been sleeping more again. I feel I have very little control over my health. I'll just take one day a time.

We are here for you. It is our battle to win. One day at a time is so true

Sending you hugs

[spondiferous]

It's been such a long time since I've been in this forum. So much has changed...and yet so much has stayed the same.
Every day is something of a battle. Even when I manage to not abuse myself by stuffing food in my body all day, I obsess about it. What I could do better. What I'd rather be doing. Blah blah blah. Will it ever end? That's what it comes down to now. After dealing with this for 20 some-odd years...
Will it ever end?
And why is my success in life and my worth as a person tied to my size, my weight, my appearance, etc? I want to break the chains. I want to be healthy for the right reasons. I want to not be obsessed anymore. I want to get on with my LIFE. I was doing SO WELL last year. And then it all went away. ARGH.
Wishing you all a good day. An obstacle-free day. A safe, peaceful, sane day.

[seeminglyreal]

I hate how I wake up with the mindset of not eating anything I don't need and by the end of the day I've lost track of what and how much I ate and I just want to throw up because of how disgusting I feel. I've been spending so much money on food it's ridiculous. My weight keeps increasing and my self esteem just gets lower.

I don't know what to do anymore.

[GALAXYGAL]

Originally Posted by spondiferous

And why is my success in life and my worth as a person tied to my size, my weight, my appearance, etc? I want to break the chains. I want to be healthy for the right reasons. I want to not be obsessed anymore. I want to get on with my LIFE. I was doing SO WELL last year. And then it all went away. ARGH:

We are always looking into the wrong mirror and not looking inside to see the reflection of all our good traits. I am so thankful for second, third, etc. chances. On any given day we can start again.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

We are always looking into the wrong mirror and not looking inside to see the reflection of all our good traits. I am so thankful for second, third, etc. chances. On any given day we can start again.

I think that we also put too much emphasis on what society thinks of us.
Marilyn Monroe was a gorgeous, sexy woman, but in today's society she would be fat

[gracebuttercup]

hello. new here. I usually keep my binge eating pretty much under control. Although since the beginning of June it has been erroding. But i have managed to not let it get out of control. Today I broke all the rules that have kept me on the wagon, so to speak. I woke feeling very sad. Felt more sad as the day progressed.

I have worked hard to lose weight. Yoyo all my life. Although starving was not the way to do it. anyway, I no longer starve. But I have to be ultra careful to not go back to the binge eating.

Today I plunged into it full force. I feel horrible about what I did. The worst part of it was breaking the big rule about candy bars. I ate them. I have to be much more strict about the forbidden foods if I am going to keep from binging coming back as a pattern. I feel threatened and disgusted with myself for what I did today with the candy. And believe me, there was a lot more food than just candy. But the candy was a line I had not crossed since losing. Binge eating will always be a threat. And today I once again succumbed

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by seeminglyreal

I hate how I wake up with the mindset of not eating anything I don't need and by the end of the day I've lost track of what and how much I ate and I just want to throw up because of how disgusting I feel. I've been spending so much money on food it's ridiculous. My weight keeps increasing and my self esteem just gets lower.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I seem to be willing to spend $20 bucks on a loaded pizza, and eat it on the way home from work, but deny myself the $3 it costs for a bar of soap that I love.

Why do we do that?

[Standup2me]

Too much Halloween candy left
I will take it to the food bank
It is haunting me

[GALAXYGAL]

Holiday gifts are being delivered at work: Carmel popcorn, a large tin can of small butter cookies (my favorite). Also, it is getting colder and the last thing I want is a salad even though I have 2 heads of lettuce in the fridge. I am craving warm comfort food.

[Espresso]

I feel gross. Who seriously sits down and eats an entire bag of croutons? And even though I felt sick, I had to follow it up with a handful of chocolate. And that's not even all I ate tonight in my binge. Ugh, I feel sick.

[Just keep swimming]

This is my fifth evening of being home from the hospital. A cardiac scare has forced me to carefully look at whether a) I'm going to stay in denial, b) I'm going to give up and accept that I'll die an early death or c) I'm going to try my best to do something about a healthier way of relating to food. I know that my answer is bound to be different on some nights but tonight I'm choosing a). I'm going to try to come up with a goal of a small lifestyle change that I feel I can do. Thanks to all of you for being here.

Wait a minute, I mean I chose c). I chose c) not a)! OK, so maybe a part of me really wants to stay in denial. In any case, for tonight, I CHOOSE c) !

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

It's been awhile since I've been here. Hope everyone is doing well.

I have not been able to sit at a computer for any length of time. I had a lower back injury and I couldn't sit, stand, walk, lay down and was in chronic pain 24/7 until just this week I started to have some relief. Anyway, it is obvious that I must stick to a healthy diet and loose weight or the back injury will continue to reoccur as it has the past few years. It recurs more frequently and each time the pain gets worse and lasts longer. The extra weight only compounds the condition if it isn't cause of it.

I am really motivated now to eat smaller portions. I am afraid to workout or walk for too long so have been sleeping more again. I feel I have very little control over my health. I'll just take one day a time.

I'm so sorry you've been in so much pain. I'm new to Psych Central and i'm just starting to accept the reality about the medical consequences of my weight. I'm a little in shock and worried I won't be able to change. I've tried to change so often before. I think one day at a time is going to be critical for me.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

Holiday gifts are being delivered at work: Carmel popcorn, a large tin can of small butter cookies (my favorite). Also, it is getting colder and the last thing I want is a salad even though I have 2 heads of lettuce in the fridge. I am craving warm comfort food.

Wow, hard day at work. Winter comfort food has always been some of my favorite. I imagine I would have no problem living in Alaska and eating enough to stay warm even without a jacket. How's your back doing?

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by Espresso

I feel gross. Who seriously sits down and eats an entire bag of croutons? And even though I felt sick, I had to follow it up with a handful of chocolate. And that's not even all I ate tonight in my binge. Ugh, I feel sick.

I'll tell you who does that type of thing, I do and so does anyone who has a binge eating disorder. I know what it's like to feel sick, be in pain from being so bloated with food and just waiting for the sedative effects of the food to knock me into a food coma. And I hated myself so badly when I did that. But no matter what, I know we are not bad people. I believe we just have a really challenging, dangerous disorder. (That's all! ) I hope you feel less sick soon. I was reading today on the difference that self compassion might make. I'm going to try to rethink how I might treat myself differently the next time I abuse food.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

This is my fifth evening of being home from the hospital. A cardiac scare has forced me to carefully look at whether a) I'm going to stay in denial, b) I'm going to give up and accept that I'll die an early death or c) I'm going to try my best to do something about a healthier way of relating to food. I know that my answer is bound to be different on some nights but tonight I'm choosing a). I'm going to try to come up with a goal of a small lifestyle change that I feel I can do. Thanks to all of you for being here.

Wait a minute, I mean I chose c). I chose c) not a)! OK, so maybe a part of me really wants to stay in denial. In any case, for tonight, I CHOOSE c) !

Swim, that is an excellent idea for a motivating thread.
And, wow, oh wow, I need motivation
Small changes are possible with support from all of us around here...right?

[Standup2me]

Today I am ashamed of myself
cinnamon buns (lots of them), cheezies (a bag), icy squares, and two extra large hot dogs
I feel sick
I feel like my stomach is going to burst

[GALAXYGAL]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

Wow, hard day at work. Winter comfort food has always been some of my favorite. I imagine I would have no problem living in Alaska and eating enough to stay warm even without a jacket. How's your back doing?

Welcome to this forum! Thank you for asking about my back. I went to a massage therapist who told me it was not a muscular problem but a skeletal problem and so I am seeing a chiropractor and the pain is just mild now so I can walk, etc. I have been on my treadmill twice and have lifted light weights starting off slow. I am 70% back to normal. One thing I have noticed is that I am snacking since the pain is gone. My oh my, how quickly I have forgotten that my being overweight compounded the pain. I've got to stay on track with the dieting and exercise.

I'm sorry to hear that your health condition ended in a hospitalization. You are absolutely right about being in denial about how dangerous binge eating is especially if you have been yo-yo-ing for years. We will do everything we can to support you here.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Today I am ashamed of myself
cinnamon buns (lots of them), cheezies (a bag), icy squares, and two extra large hot dogs
I feel sick
I feel like my stomach is going to burst

I so know that feeling. I'm so sorry that this binge eating disorder is making you feel so bad physically. I'm grateful that even in the midst of dealing with all of this, you've been able to make me feel welcome and less alone.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

Welcome to this forum! Thank you for asking about my back. I went to a massage therapist who told me it was not a muscular problem but a skeletal problem and so I am seeing a chiropractor and the pain is just mild now so I can walk, etc. I have been on my treadmill twice and have lifted light weights starting off slow. I am 70% back to normal. One thing I have noticed is that I am snacking since the pain is gone. My oh my, how quickly I have forgotten that my being overweight compounded the pain. I've got to stay on track with the dieting and exercise.

I'm sorry to hear that your health condition ended in a hospitalization. You are absolutely right about being in denial about how dangerous binge eating is especially if you have been yo-yo-ing for years. We will do everything we can to support you here.

Thanks. I think what scares me is that just knowing all the consequences of my abusing food seems to make no difference at all. I don't know what it will take.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

Thanks. I think what scares me is that just knowing all the consequences of my abusing food seems to make no difference at all. I don't know what it will take.

I wish that I knew what the answer is
I know that I am abusing my body, but I keep doing it
What makes us do that?

[gracebuttercup]

Hi everyone. I think this is the first time posting in the binge area. Usually I can figure out a way to not do it. But lately that has been less possible. So binges have been increasing. Trying to recover from Saturday eating the leftover halloween reeses peanutbutter cups. There were a lot left. Today I managed to restrain myself from overeating. I feel SO depressed about it. I have to figure out a way to undo the weight gain that this binge and the prior ones have done. Tomorrow I have to stay on course. Cant binge. So draining living with this disorder. Thanks

[GALAXYGAL]

I'm going to start looking up 'failure inspirational quotes' so I can inspire myself out of self-doubt and depression for not sticking to my diet. Maybe these will help others here too.

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

I'm going to start looking up 'failure inspirational quotes' so I can inspire myself out of self-doubt and depression for not sticking to my diet. Maybe these will help others here too.

Thanks. I think I'm going to have to try a new approach too. Thanks for sharing your idea. I've finally set a small goal of learning one basic simple healthy recipe. At least I feel like I have some control over whether I can achieve that goal or not. I hope you keep sharing quotes.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by gracebuttercup

Hi everyone. I think this is the first time posting in the binge area. Usually I can figure out a way to not do it. But lately that has been less possible. So binges have been increasing. Trying to recover from Saturday eating the leftover halloween reeses peanutbutter cups. There were a lot left. Today I managed to restrain myself from overeating. I feel SO depressed about it. I have to figure out a way to undo the weight gain that this binge and the prior ones have done. Tomorrow I have to stay on course. Cant binge. So draining living with this disorder. Thanks

Trying to hide it is so draining too.
So exhausting to give yourself the daily "I can do it" pep talk
BUT - we can do it

[Just keep swimming]

What's really frustrating for me is that no matter how hard I don't want to binge, there are still plenty of times when I end up overeating. I was wondering what's worked for you in the past when you were able to keep from overeating? I know sometimes when I can keep from getting too stressed out, food is less of a problem. And I know getting enough sleep is a major factor too. How weird that so many things other than not wanting to overeat, so many things that seem to not have anything to do with food are the things that help or hurt me in my efforts.