[unicornlady]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

Yesterday, I saw my psychiatrist, re-ordered meds (almost decided to go off all of them). Anyway I told her I was snoring and she attributed my lack of energy to that. She wants me to get a c-pap and a sleep test. Today, I called my insurance company and they don't cover it, so around $3500 out-of-pocket - like hell! Who can afford that! My husband says I choke and stop breathing in my sleep sometimes. I know if I lose this weight I won't snore.

My dad had that. He had a similar situation, insurance company not covering that stuff. But when he lost weight for other things (high blood pressure, heart issues, etc) the snoring got better, and the choking stopped. No need for an expensive consultation and short term solutions.

[waggiedog]

Oh dear, what a dreadful day/night before it's been. Friday night I took a sleeping tablet, also I take Seroquel, usually I go to sleep fast when taking that combination (I don't take sleepers every day). However, I have the kind of eating disorder which makes you eat during the night, usually as I've greatly restricted food during the day and I'm hungry. When I got out of bed this morning I found unwrapped chocolates in my bed, along with their shed wrappers, also on the floor were biscuits and my dressing gown pockets had uneaten toffee bars in, this is what I used to do some 30 years ago and I was on that horrendous roller coaster. Lately I've been severely restricting but I'm working on that too. I still haven't got over the spell of night eating yet ~~ HATE it when that happens as it makes me very fed up and frightened I may start binging again. XXX

[Standup2me]

Why can't I stop eating when I am full?
I think that I need to start trying to answer that question.
But, I wonder if there really is an answer?

[Standup2me]

I feel a sense of community here.
It might sound funny, but I feel like I have friends here

[Just keep swimming]

I know what you mean. I really feel like we matter to each other.

I better get to sleep. Goodnight.

[Justicia]

I just finished a support group training and I felt so uncomfortable because it was moving way too fast and I don't really have any self-esteem or confidence. And so there was pizza for lunch and I forced myself to eat more because I was so upset with myself because I felt like I kept failing in the training. I graduated from it, which is good, but I don't want to force myself to eat when one, I'm not really hungry at all, and two, be OK with uncomfortable feelings and not to fill them with food to make myself sick. I do this because I think that I deserve to feel bad, because I think that I am a truly a bad person. Such a terrible day, I spent 15 minutes just crying in front of the director of youth services at the organization just feeling terrible.

[Standup2me]

My Mum is in the hospital, and I cannot seem to get ahold of anyone
I looked up how much flights cost $1,500
She was never a good mother, vain, and always reminded me that I was not wanted
I don't want to go...
Am I being a selfish, or protecting myself?

[Standup2me]

There is a bag of Bugles in the house
not a good thing

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

My Mum is in the hospital, and I cannot seem to get ahold of anyone
I looked up how much flights cost $1,500
She was never a good mother, vain, and always reminded me that I was not wanted
I don't want to go...
Am I being a selfish, or protecting myself?

I don't think there's anything wrong with whatever you feel. Maybe sometime I'll share about my feeling toward my Dad. If he were in the hospital, I'm not sure if I would go.

I do a lousy job of protecting myself around him. I usually just end up feeling bad and confused around him. Sometimes I worry that when he dies, I'll feel bad that I didn't do better. But not much, I think I really do try to do what I can without setting myself up to get hurt.

As far as the Bugles go. If it were me, and I was thinking well and not totally freaking out over my Dad, I would try to think of ways to take care of myself that would make me feel good. Then if I could do some of those things, that would be great. If I couldn't, because I was anxious... well I least I tried to think of something first. And if I ended up eating to deal with the anxiety, in an ideal world, I would like to think that I would enjoy every single bite that I took and treat myself well before, during and after I ate.

I've tried beating myself up for being a terrible person and I know that doesn't work for me. I usually end up eating more when I do that.

Good luck. I know this is a hard place to be.

I'm not sure how selfish fits in. Is it selfish to want to be good to yourself and not get hurt? It doesn't sound like you're thinking only of yourself. You sound like you're weighing the situation and trying to make a good decision. Be gentle with yourself. That's my wish for you no matter what you decide.

[waggiedog]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Why can't I stop eating when I am full?
I think that I need to start trying to answer that question.
But, I wonder if there really is an answer?

Oh yes yes, this is exactly my problem too, can't stop eating whether I'm full or not. Wish I could tell you the answer, but I've been like this for over 30 years and everyday is still a fight regarding stopping eating like ''normal'' people.

[Justicia]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

There is a bag of Bugles in the house
not a good thing

One thing I try to do, is eat each one as mindfully as I can and wait until I'm satisfied with how many I had. That helps me ...

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

I don't think there's anything wrong with whatever you feel. Maybe sometime I'll share about my feeling toward my Dad. If he were in the hospital, I'm not sure if I would go.

I do a lousy job of protecting myself around him. I usually just end up feeling bad and confused around him. Sometimes I worry that when he dies, I'll feel bad that I didn't do better. But not much, I think I really do try to do what I can without setting myself up to get hurt.

As far as the Bugles go. If it were me, and I was thinking well and not totally freaking out over my Dad, I would try to think of ways to take care of myself that would make me feel good. Then if I could do some of those things, that would be great. If I couldn't, because I was anxious... well I least I tried to think of something first. And if I ended up eating to deal with the anxiety, in an ideal world, I would like to think that I would enjoy every single bite that I took and treat myself well before, during and after I ate.

I've tried beating myself up for being a terrible person and I know that doesn't work for me. I usually end up eating more when I do that.

Good luck. I know this is a hard place to be.

I'm not sure how selfish fits in. Is it selfish to want to be good to yourself and not get hurt? It doesn't sound like you're thinking only of yourself. You sound like you're weighing the situation and trying to make a good decision. Be gentle with yourself. That's my wish for you no matter what you decide.

Swim, I am sitting here with tears running down my face.
Your words touched my soul so much

You are totally not a terrible person. You have a big heart and an old soul
I am not too sure if you believe in animal spirit guides, but I can sense that you have a strong guide alongside you.

I am grateful for your advice.
You are such a good person that it impacts me a lot

Thank you so much for being so honest and caring

[GALAXYGAL]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

I know what you mean. I really feel like we matter to each other.

I better get to sleep. Goodnight.

Swim, you are so compassionate and wise in your responses. I am so glad you're here.

I enjoy this forum too. It is nice to have a place to come to where people care about each other. This is the only place I feel comfortable to talk about my overeating and weight gain because I know I will not be judged here. You are all so kind. I hope everyone has a good day and can find time for a mini-walk.

Also, I ran across this you-tube video clip this morning so I will pass it on to you. Hope it helps.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/well...gjnag#image=49

[GALAXYGAL]

Originally Posted by Justicia

I just finished a support group training and I felt so uncomfortable because it was moving way too fast and I don't really have any self-esteem or confidence. And so there was pizza for lunch and I forced myself to eat more because I was so upset with myself because I felt like I kept failing in the training. I graduated from it, which is good, but I don't want to force myself to eat when one, I'm not really hungry at all, and two, be OK with uncomfortable feelings and not to fill them with food to make myself sick. I do this because I think that I deserve to feel bad, because I think that I am a truly a bad person. Such a terrible day, I spent 15 minutes just crying in front of the director of youth services at the organization just feeling terrible.

Justicia,

What type of support group training were you in? Was it for eating disorder? It sounds like the training was very important to you so it must be upsetting that you feel bad about yourself after accomplishment and graduation. There are many people here who would be happy to support you with your eating disorder and we won't let you feel bad about yourself

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

Swim, you are so compassionate and wise in your responses. I am so glad you're here.

I enjoy this forum too. It is nice to have a place to come to where people care about each other. This is the only place I feel comfortable to talk about my overeating and weight gain because I know I will not be judged here. You are all so kind. I hope everyone has a good day and can find time for a mini-walk.

Also, I ran across this you-tube video clip this morning so I will pass it on to you. Hope it helps.

The ultimate guide to weight loss: 49 tips and tricks to drop pounds now

I always feel safe here.
I am accepted as is, and I like that

[Justicia]

Originally Posted by GALAXYGAL

Justicia,

What type of support group training were you in? Was it for eating disorder? It sounds like the training was very important to you so it must be upsetting that you feel bad about yourself after accomplishment and graduation. There are many people here who would be happy to support you with your eating disorder and we won't let you feel bad about yourself

The support group is just a regular NAMI support group, for mental health which includes everything ! I already do feel terrible about myself, wish I didn't but then today it wasn't so bad with my ED but I was preoccupied with food today which was hard.

[Standup2me]

Argh, I get migranes and I can feel one coming on

Ack

[Just keep swimming]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Argh, I get migranes and I can feel one coming on

Ack

I'm really sorry about that, do you have to go to work when you get a migraine? Do they last long? I have students who get them and they sound totally awful. Take care of yourself.

[Just keep swimming]

Hey Justicia,

I'm impressed that you went ahead and WENT for for support group training. I'm always impressed when people take the initiative to do something that will help other people. I'm usually the person who get's to enjoy other people's hard work.

I know what you mean about eating from stress, but for me, I don't think I do it from feeling bad about myself. I think I do it for the numbing/sedating effect and sometimes I just go on auto pilot and just keep eating. Even when I eat because I feel bad about myself, I think I do it to try to feel better. It's just my go to thing for feeling better.

I'm trying to learn other things to do besides food, but it's tough. It's been my friend since I was little.

[Standup2me]

It's been my friend since I was little

So very true.
All of my family are very tall and thin.
I hate them! Kidding

When they are stressed, they don't eat.
Strange

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by Just keep swimming

I'm really sorry about that, do you have to go to work when you get a migraine? Do they last long? I have students who get them and they sound totally awful. Take care of yourself.

Usually the worst of it is a long long
For the next two days or so, I have just a normal kind of headache
Usually I can't work when I get them, my eyes get so light sensitive

[Standup2me]

Today is a good day
Work is quiet
The sun is shining
It is not very cold
And I am doing just fine

[waggiedog]

Hello and good day. Well, I eat incessantly whether I'm bad, sad, happy or manic, I ALWAYS eat!! The one and only time this hasn't happened is over these last three months, where I've been so stressed out I actuallt DIDDN'T eat and I lost weight, nothing short of a miracle really. I've had this ED for soooooooooooooooo many years, fought for to many Christmas dinners I wouldn't eat with the family, couldn't sit around the table just incase I caved in because I was so hungry. At the moment I give up, another messed up Christmas but at least it's not all my fault this time. Haven't a clue whats occurring over Christmas, if anything. Hope you guys have a good one, and your folks too for sure. HUGS. x

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by waggiedog

Hello and good day. Well, I eat incessantly whether I'm bad, sad, happy or manic, I ALWAYS eat!! The one and only time this hasn't happened is over these last three months, where I've been so stressed out I actuallt DIDDN'T eat and I lost weight, nothing short of a miracle really. I've had this ED for soooooooooooooooo many years, fought for to many Christmas dinners I wouldn't eat with the family, couldn't sit around the table just incase I caved in because I was so hungry. At the moment I give up, another messed up Christmas but at least it's not all my fault this time. Haven't a clue whats occurring over Christmas, if anything. Hope you guys have a good one, and your folks too for sure. HUGS. x

Christmas
It's supposed to be so much fun, but now it is pure stress

I have a fridge full of fruit, and no treats in the house, so I am armed
and ready to go!!!

[Just keep swimming]

During this Christmas break time, it's so darn hard to continue some of my new healthy changes. Everyone in my family is off from school or work. We sit around all day and surf the web.

My husband and I are driving each other crazy with little annoyances and bickering.

I have to do something to change this pattern. We need to get outside.