Dealing with the Borderline label

As many of you may know, the term "Borderline" which in its origin referred to a person on the 'borderline' of psychosis and neurosis, is a difficult and stigma carrying lable. The term, in and of itself does little to discribe the true features of the disorder and does more to lead others into making generalizations.

If I remember correctly,the ICD (International Classification of diseases) refers to this disorder as "Emotional Disregulation Disorder"- which is indeed a softer more forgiving term in addition to it's descriptive qualities.

Dealing with the label is something that bothers me still, even after being diagnosed a few months back: an anxiety I am sure that it will never completely subside. Often I assure myself that I am no different a person than before I recieved my diagnosis- but I can't help but here my Pdoc's voice echoing in my head, telling me that my personality had some kind of defect (Even though, rationally I do not think I am defective). Even the term "Personality Disorder" is a nasty one! ew ew ew-

What do you think? Words mean a lot- I would rather be hit with sticks and stones

-Amanda

I am dianosed with "borderline" and narcissistic personality disorders. It's still hard for me to deal with it, cuz it makes me sound near psychotic. And I'm still struggling with being labeled a "narcissist" it's kind of a nasty label. Why must they label us? Just treat us. So yes I know what you're going through. Like you said you hate the term personality disorder, I hate knowing my personality is disordered, cuz it's not. Eh oh well... I've ranted enough.

I'm diagnosed with borderline also. It doesn't bother me that much anymore to have that label...as an old t had said so many times, it's only a label that doctor's use, it does not describe who or what you are. If everyone went to get a psych eval these days, they'd all be labeled with some sort of disorder or disease. Doctors just want to put a label on everyone for every little thing these days.

"Borderline" is a really confusing term to those outside the mental health community as well. I've known some people who thought it just meant that the person had mild mental illness (i.e. they were on the "border" of mental illness).

First, I want you to know that I DO understand what you're saying. I, too, have issues with the whole "labeling" part of our illnesses because so many times, it lacks the truth of what who and what we are as "human beings". Personally, BPD is so, like, evil sounding or something. I'm recently dx as having BPD. On the one hand, I'm so grateful to finally have a full and complete dx between BP and BPD. At least now I can get the most effective tx possible...the missing link has been bound together and I feel a whole lot less "incomplete" or impossible to be treated for the BP.
However, personally, this is not a part of my dx that I share with others because it causes the need for too much of an explanation to those who are foreign to these types of things.
Besides, I no longer "label" myself any of my dx. Because of the incredible team of doctors and therapists that I work with...I'm able to be much more aware of who, what, where and how I am. No one need know the cocktail of meds I must take morning, noon and night. But I take them gladly, knowing that I'm a positive and productive member of this society. No less than anyone else.
We have to stop being so hung up on what others think when it's what we think of ourselves that matters at all.
I remind myself of that each and every day of my life.
TgrsPurr, xo.

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TgrsPurr said:
On the one hand, I'm so grateful to finally have a full and complete dx between BP and BPD. At least now I can get the most effective tx possible...the missing link has been bound together and I feel a whole lot less "incomplete" or impossible to be treated for the BP.

So what do you feel is missing when you say 'imcomplete'? And the other question is, what do you do (behavior-wise) regarding the Bi-Polar that says it is BP?

No one need know the cocktail of meds I must take morning, noon and night.

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So the meds are for the BP? Because I wasn't aware that there were meds specifically for BPD unless there was a crisis situation. And that would only deal with anxiety.

As far as labels, BPD is just a fancy name for retained childhood behaviors. Intrusive thoughts? Do you really know where they come from? Ask me, I'll tell you.

As with all psychopathology and medicine alike, there is often no cure drug. For BPD, drug "cocktails" are common, which can include anti-depressants,anti-anxiety medications (e.g. benzodiazepines) mood-stabilizers (e.g. depakote and sometimes lithium), and less commonly calcium beta-blockers, and second and 1st generation anti-psychotic medications (to help with "distorted thinking" and delusional processes.

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NightlyMime said:
As with all psychopathology and medicine alike, there is often no cure drug. For BPD, drug "cocktails" are common, which can include anti-depressants,anti-anxiety medications (e.g. benzodiazepines) mood-stabilizers (e.g. depakote and sometimes lithium), and less commonly calcium beta-blockers, and second and 1st generation anti-psychotic medications (to help with "distorted thinking" and delusional processes.

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For some though, a chemical imbalance can be corrected with medication can't it? Least that's what I read. But the personality is inherent to the thought processes of the individual. The body works the same for us all, but the mind contains the experiences of a lifetime and drives the person in whatever direction their life script has made for them. Mine for example, my life script was made the day my mother put me on the floor to start crawling around. That was the start of my non-care (is that a viable phrase?) meaning, not ever again did she coddle and coo to me, if in fact she ever did before. I have memories of feeling let down, disappointment, abject terror of her when she chased me from the house with the strap, All these things contributed to the script to MAKE me overly sensitive to anger and people disregarding me. To actively look to other people to make ME feel good. These things cannot be fixed by drugs. And they can't be fixed by someone else. Because this desire for someone else to fix you, falls right in line with the life script rules. Fix me, because I'm too helpless, too needy, too dependant, too avoident, too stupid, etc., you get the point. By making others dance to your tune or Game, you fulfill the life script that was made when you were 5 years old. And all the childish emotions and feelings are right there out in front for others to deal with. If you don't face this head on, realize where these feelings come from, you play out your life script to the bitter end. The thoughts of fear, rejection, jeolousy, loss, etc., are directly from that age in your life, 5 yrs old. Look at and study the children around you who are this age. Do you see yourself in them?

Words mean a lot- I would rather be hit with sticks and stones

VERY TRUE......the wrong words can cut me right in half and tear me up but something like having a miscarriage I sail through....

being boderline is hard.

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sara1010 said:

For some though, a chemical imbalance can be corrected with medication can't it? Least that's what I read. But the personality is inherent to the thought processes of the individual. The body works the same for us all, but the mind contains the experiences of a lifetime and drives the person in whatever direction their life script has made for them. Mine for example, my life script was made the day my mother put me on the floor to start crawling around. That was the start of my non-care (is that a viable phrase?) meaning, not ever again did she coddle and coo to me, if in fact she ever did before. I have memories of feeling let down, disappointment, abject terror of her when she chased me from the house with the strap, All these things contributed to the script to MAKE me overly sensitive to anger and people disregarding me. To actively look to other people to make ME feel good. These things cannot be fixed by drugs. And they can't be fixed by someone else. Because this desire for someone else to fix you, falls right in line with the life script rules. Fix me, because I'm too helpless, too needy, too dependant, too avoident, too stupid, etc., you get the point. By making others dance to your tune or Game, you fulfill the life script that was made when you were 5 years old. And all the childish emotions and feelings are right there out in front for others to deal with. If you don't face this head on, realize where these feelings come from, you play out your life script to the bitter end. The thoughts of fear, rejection, jeolousy, loss, etc., are directly from that age in your life, 5 yrs old. Look at and study the children around you who are this age. Do you see yourself in them?

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BPD is a messy disorder. Not only are the features confusing (for example, “instability” is the only stable feature!) but the prognosis and origin are grossly complicated. Most experts agree that BPD does not exist on a solely genetic/biological basis or on environment alone. Depending on which psychological perspective you have (e.g. psychodynamic, cognitive, behavioral, biochemical) the theories vary.

Most modern psychologists/Pdoc’s (and Myself!) see BPD as a mix of both chemical/genetic factors and environmental factors (much like as your experience of childhood neglect). Most of the time, chemical/genetic factors make a person more vulnerable to developing some form of psychopathology.

-Note: There is no BPD gene of course, but chemical/genetic to vulnerabilities such as mood disorders can serve as a catalyst for the later development of BPD. Interestingly, while it has not been proven that BPD is passed through families, there is much evidence to suggest that if you have BPD, someone in your family is likely to have a mood disorder even if they never developed a personality disorder.

Yes, of course, I see myself in your story. “Having” BPD does not exist, really. Your super intense way of living and feeling are the way you are and sometimes you can learn to embrace it. Hell, you know most of the famous visionaries, painters, philosophers, and writers suffered from the pains and the fears you and I feel.

There’s not a pill for happiness (no jokes!!--- see Drug Questions: “Depakote and BPD”) Medications do help with the stuff that comes along with BPD though and when you can get the chemical crap out of the way you can start to heal the person inside of all the symptoms.

Thanks for your comment! Very Good point!


Oooo -hugs- vulgarlove Thankies

i don't have BPD but I don't think someone with BPD is freaky or strange. Borderline doesn't sound bad to me. I like you anyway.
Sometimes we worry more about what people think than we need to. They might be thinking what I think. I think you are a very valuable and important person. I do understand what it's like to wonder what people think. It's hell. I worry that people think I'm strange because I have a mental illness. But sometimes people are very ignorant. Once they find out what's really going on they can sympathize with us instead of judging us. I do hate it when my mum treats me like some kind of hopeless case. She says things like, 'Do you want me to come over to your place today and help you?' it makes me feel like I'm not capable of looking after myself. I do understand that she wants to be helpful but somehow I can't accept that. I feel like she wants to make me into her patient so that she will have someone to look after. Makes her feel worthwhile I suppose.

just wanted to add my view...

i like to be reductionist about my diagnosis. i went somewhere to get help with a problem. they recognised the problem. now i'm getting help with it

it wasn't always like that. i used to hate it. i never wanted to tell people i had a pd. but then i started telling everyone and not one single person has judged me for it . at the end of the day, you cannot protect yourself from someone else's ignorance, and if they want to judge you for it, let them. you wouldn't have wanted to know someone like that anyway

there are also lots of labels given to people without so called pds that can be just as 'offensive' because they suggest there is something defective about you; of course, i can't list those here ; )

be proud of who you are, even the bits that need work, is what i say
x