Narcissim and Masterbation.

As I go further into therapy I find a lot of my old ways are fading. I use to much prefer masterbation to sex with my husband. Then gradually I couldnt get the fantasy to work, and now I find I much prefer including my husband...I did mention this too T in a round-about-way and she said that is a big step forward.. I use to think perhaps I was just sexually divant, but now know its not just as B/W as that..sometimes I get frustrated when I can't get my old fantasys to work, not just in the sex dept, but in other ways too. Its not until you attempt to do what you've always done and find suddenly its gone, that you begin to see the why and what for off things...I guess I could say, my sex drive is becoming mature and needs or has space for another humanbeing in it now, where as a child would only seek out self???

HAHAHAHAH I think the title has a freudian slip in the "Master" bation and not "masturbation LOLOL!

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Mouse_ said:
I guess I could say, my sex drive is becoming mature and needs or has space for another humanbeing in it now, where as a child would only seek out self???

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Thank you for this. It makes sense!

This is a really interesting post, Mouse. In my case, I have the "just hold me like a baby and sing me a lullaby" problem. I go through long periods of time now without wanting sex because I am in little girl mode-- and a little girl wouldn't want that. I, too, am working on my drive becoming more mature, but in a different way. I never had this problem in the past, but that is because I would just go form person to person-- never had someone who I actually wanted to take care of me. Thanks for the insight here.

What you say makes a lot of sense to me, Mouse. A lot of my "old" ways of doing things, old defenses and self-soothing behaviors I learned as a very young child kind of "went away" as I went through therapy (things I was "complaining" about when I began therapy) and sometimes it's almost disorienting to figure out what I'm supposed to do "next" instead of that behavior that was so familiar. It almost feels like I'm being "driven" forward by therapy and the whole "maturation" process.

Yes thats it Perna it does feel disorientating and you wonder where to go next. I guess thats the bridge people talk about in recovery...or as T says, the transistion stage is difficult.

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Mouse_ said:
I use to much prefer masterbation to sex with my husband.

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This is where I am right now! My husband is still in the guest room...maybe mine will fade in time too.

Interesting thread!