[SpringingTiger]

She is new to me. only have seen her 3 times and most of this has been

paperwork( boy this girl has paperwork)

So I am just wondering...I feel confused by her response.

This new therapist says PTSD is one of those popular new terms, often

overused. She knows little to nothing of my present life situation right now-

well - have you ever had a reaction like this ? Yes I felt it was a "reaction"-

almost defensive,

So my question: is this actually a common view of PTSD , shared by many

therapists ?

[Open Eyes]

Well, I wonder what you have talked to the therapist about, have you given her history of yourself and the issues that you may feel that could be PTSD?

You know I didn't even know what PTSD really was until it was given to me as a diagnosis and even then I didn't really understand it and what it meant. I have taken time out to try to understand it and as I do understand it I wonder why no one ever told me I had it before. I sure have talked about many of the symptoms that are clear red flags that would tell a therapist what it was that I was trying to deal with.

I am not even sure therapists really know all the demensions of it and it has really come about not only by the fact that many of our servicemen were experiencing it and it became a concern to society as they continued to experience great difficulty readusting back into society after coming home from war. But it as more and more people came forward with complaints of extreme stress and flashbacks and depression and all the other aspects of this thing called PTSD that it became more prevalent.

But there are those that misuse this disorder both patients and therapists. I do know that therapists don't have a full proof treatment for this yet, they are trying but many things are experimental and they are exploring and practicing.

I think that the therapist you are talking to probably has heard enough about it and may be somewhat jaded. And if you have it, then this is not the therapist for you, not if she going to deny it. Oh the patient does that enough all on their own. The whole point to even getting therapy for it is to try to not only understand it but to try to find a way to deal with it. Well, you can't run from it that is for sure, it just catches up with you and hits you really hard if something bad happens. Oh then it really grabs you.

I have a new therapist and he is pretty worried about me he knows that I have it pretty bad and he has already told me that it will get worse if I dont try to treat it and it is going to take time and therapy for me to come to terms with it. He also understands that the situation I am in is aggrivating it and so it is going to be pretty hard for me to do some of the work.

I come to PC because quite frankly I don't want to look at it anymore. I live with it and I have to be in it and I don't want to think about it but unfortunately I have no choice, I have to see things everyday that I still have to deal with and so I come here. I want to to think about here and I do not what think about what I look at everyday.

And no one can tell me its not real, because I know thats not true, but I would like to think it isn't real. I would like to wake up one morning and think it was all a dream. But I wake up because I have had a bad dream about it, oh it happens as soon as my medication wears off.

So, depending on your past, a therapist that has that attitude would be a waste of your time in my opinion. I would rather be with a therapist that truely understands it and that the patient that has it is trying their best to learn how to deal with it.

Open Eyes

Welcome to the Community, SpringingTiger. Have you had a psychological assessment performed by a psychologist or other authorized professional? If so, has your therapist seen it?

Since a good connection with the therapist is critical to achieving a good result, you probably should ask the therapist for a clarification about what she meant by her comment.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/get...therapy/all/1/
http://www.wellsphere.com/mental-hea...therapy/782440
http://psychcentral.com/psychotherapy/

[(JD)]

Originally Posted by SpringingTiger

She is new to me. only have seen her 3 times and most of this has been

paperwork( boy this girl has paperwork)

So I am just wondering...I feel confused by her response.

This new therapist says PTSD is one of those popular new terms, often

overused. She knows little to nothing of my present life situation right now-

well - have you ever had a reaction like this ? Yes I felt it was a "reaction"-

almost defensive,

So my question: is this actually a common view of PTSD , shared by many

therapists ?

It sounds like you felt invalidated, and I hope that goes away quickly. Yes, the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is being widely used lately... I personally think it's because there is a group of psychologists (perhaps some psychiatrists) who are working at changing the definitions in the upcoming DSM V. It's a bit of a controversy and I won't go into it here... but I wouldn't worry about it, because I really think the true definition will fit the actual disorder in the end, still.



It won't matter what you suffer with... no matter what label it gets...you will still be who you are suffering as you do. I hope your T will be able to help you. She sounded like she didn't want you to diagnose yourself--or burden yourself with the idea of PTSD at this point but let her determine after she gets to know you, just where your treatment should go.

[Evening]

I do think disorders are thrown around a bit, especially Depression, but as for PTSD I've actually had trouble finding people who know what it is! She may be right that it is thrown around I'm not sure, I have had one friend say he had PTSD because he never had a girlfriend and gets extremely devistated when he's rejected (we're talking fainting here). That is not PTSD. And it really pissed me off when he said it.
As long as this person you are seeing doesn't try to claim you DON'T have PTSD based on 3 sessions and the fact it's a term thrown around a lot, there isn't much to hopefully worry about. If she DOES say that, and it makes you feel angry or uncomfortable (nothing is worse than being diagnosed with something, learning all about it and thinking that's what you have, only to be told none of it is the case at all), is the possibility of seeing someone else available?

[SpringingTiger]

[QUOTE=TheByzantine;1907223]Welcome to the Community, SpringingTiger. Have you had a psychological assessment performed by a psychologist or other authorized professional? If so, has your therapist seen it?

Since a good connection with the therapist is critical to achieving a good result, you probably should ask the therapist for a clarification about what she meant by her comment.

No I have not had a complete assessment performed. But like the other person who replied- I think it was said labels do not matter so much. I am who I am having the experiences I am. events in 10 mos have brought me to a place I do not understand at all. I have lost everything nearly, living with grown children, dealing with a situation. I am sure my family would like me to get on with my life and not have me here in their home falling apart. the one and only thing that matters to me- besides my family- is threatened to be taken away. as for family, I have not been able to see grandchild for few months, that part of family I guess does not feel I am fit. I have no where to go if I were to leave here except- no where. Then I see this new therapist that wants to "challenge" me or dispute the things that do bring me any kind of comfort. I feel like I have fallen into a nightmare that keeps getting worse.
I do not understand how I got here- this sure was not a life plan. and older. when you are older it is different in some ways. loneliness is painful- when you do not have a person to relate to. like you are really not worth even human friendship. again I am in such distress over losing the only thing that has any meaning to me and fighting to keep it
I guess this is how I got to a place of having nothing and living with family.
well I said many words that do not follow any logical pattern. but thank you
if you have read this far. there are good people here in these forums. thank you.

[jwabf]

"there are good people here in these forums" Indeed there are. As to labels, I struggle with them. I know I have a lot of symptoms that can be easily summarized with PTSD, but even if they change the definition I will still have all the same symptoms. So the label PTSD is useful only if it helps you and your T better understand what you are experiencing. If she is not denying your symptoms, and I would hope she isn't, then don't worry about her hesitation with the label.

Another debate going on with the DSMV is over DID. Is someone truly DID or not? Do they have alters or not? My T says that as long as it helps me to understand myself better and work towards awareness and healing, it
doesn't matter if my "insiders" are true alters or not. Because the treatment is the same. I get a lot of use from dialoguing with parts of myself; I hate the label DID so I avoid it. I don't care if someone else wants to define me that way. Truth is....every mental health issue/diagnosis involves a continuum of symptoms, from less to more. And one definition does not fit all. Good luck with your therapy.

Sorry if this is rambling, I hope it makes some sense. Welcome to PC. Check out the chat rooms and the Arcade games, I find both good to have around as ways of safely passing time and feeling connected to a community.

[pgrundy]

I find those kinds of dialogues helpful too, and I totally get what you are saying about DID and diagnoses and so forth.

In general, I try not to talk about or identify too heavily with my symptoms and diagnostic categories. I consider myself me first and foremost, and then these other things (depression, PTSD, dissociation) are things I have to deal with sometimes, just like some people have to deal with blood sugar and others have to deal with bad backs or migraines or whatever.

I don't talk about my issues much or disclose much because most people are judgmental and uncomfortable and it doesn't help me to disclose, it just opens me up to someone else's issues and BS.

On the one hand, there's this big push toward 'don't be a victim' in society, but some people ARE victims. It doesn't make you bad, it's just the accurate way to describe what happened. But they say it like it's a character flaw or something--being a victim. If someone whacks you over the head and takes your stuff, you were victimized. It's just what happened.

But if you then go on to talk about it for the next year, people get mad, like, buck up, get over it. Why? Because it makes them uncomfortable. They don't want to think that THEY might get whacked over the head by some stranger. They want to think they're too smart for that.

So I don't talk about it except to people close to me, here, or in therapy. Because I don't need that kind of thing in my life ,it's hard enough as it is.

[jwabf]

But if you then go on to talk about it for the next year, people get mad, like, buck up, get over it. Why? Because it makes them uncomfortable. They don't want to think that THEY might get whacked over the head by some stranger. They want to think they're too smart for that.

pgrundy: After my son's suicide there were lots of people (friends?) who couldn't deal with me anymore. They wanted to know why he did it, maybe because then they could feel safe that their children wouldn't do it too. But there was no answer. So many of then just stopped calling.

I can't change the fact that I am a survivor of a child's suicide; it doesn't ever go away. Just like I can't change the fact that I am a survivor of childhood abuse. But most people don't want to hear about the ongoing pain. So I don't talk about it except in therapy, or here. And I have few friends.

But I do talk about it in therapy and I feel you definitely need to talk about your issues (pain) somewhere too. It will never change the fact that you were vicitimized but it can help you become a stronger survivor.

[pgrundy]

jwabf, I am so sorry for your loss and I identify with what you are saying, sadly. Through these tragic experiences you learn fast that real friends are very rare and most people are not strong unless they have to be. I had a similar experience after surviving a very violent crime. People could not deal with it, not even people close to me. It wasn't my fault, but I got the brunt of not just the crime itself, but other people's fears and confusion about the unpredictability and savageness of random violence.

When people tell me I am strong and a survivor I think, wow, I'd rather be rich and pretty. Not really, but you know, it gets old.

Thank you for sharing that. I do have a therapist and have been through many, many years of therapy and no doubt will see many more. I'm OK. There are some things about people I'd rather not know, but I think that knowing them has made me more compassionate. I hope so.

[pgrundy]

I also used to get that question: "Why did they do it?"

Like I should know!

I mean, how should I know? Is there any good reason? Would it make any difference if there was?

[Open Eyes]

PTSD, wow, such an overall generalization of a human psychological conditon.

It is almost like saying the word chocolate and not recognize how many different ways one can experience chocolate. Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate fudge, brownies, dark chocolate brownies, light chocolate brownies, candy bars.
There are many kinds of chocolate. Maybe that is not a perfect analogy. But if I were to go to a therapist that never really ate chocolate but everyone talked about it, then maybe I would just be spending a lot of time trying to tell the therapist what chocolate really was and tasted like and how may ways I have experienced chocolate. The therapist may be familiar about the recipe but not realize how many different kinds of chocolate there are.

I think about that when I think about PTSD. And just as there are many differnt kinds of chocolate, there are varying degrees of PTSD. I think that a lot depends on the history of the patient and how much chocolate they had and how important it was in their life. Too much chocolate consumption can make someone ill or even have side effects that are unpleasant.

Personally I have a lot of issues that I am addressing with my own diagnosis of PTSD.
And I sometimes get so bad that I can only take it moment by moment. And I get very frustrated with it.

I have become much more aware of triggers and though I have identified many of them and try very hard to overcome them, I still get triggered. For example, one of my triggers is the sound of doors closing. I have been all over it and it did come out in a flashback and I became very aware of it. I have told myself over and over to ignore it, on not let it bother me. But, I can be quietly typing here and all of a sudden my husband opens a door near me and before I can even think, I am flushed with anxiety and I have a jump out of my skin response. And that makes me very angry because I have been really working at not letting that bother me.

My husband is a big trigger. He is so cirtical and literally has to discuss my every move or critisize me so much, and for him, it is such a habit. Now, I have been working very hard on this, because often when I spend a day with him it takes me several days to recover. I hate that too. And I am addressing a lot in my life right now and I am trying very hard. I try to stay in the moment to try to get my anxiety under control, an anxiety that seems to just come at it's will. I hate that too. I really hate it and am trying to figure out how to prevent that as well. ( Just want to mention my husband was an alcoholic, 20 years sober, but still has behavior issues, some call it dry drunk behavior) At least he is recognizing how bad he picks, and there really is no reason for it, he just has to pick, and it has been work for me and work for me to address this. But there are those days he gets on a role and I am in some kind of battle of getting him to stop. It can really feel like being with an unruly child and it wears me out.

Yesterday was pretty bad. I have been addressing an injury to one of my horses, one that I love very much. I had already lost a lot 4 years ago due to a neighbors negligence, I wont get into that. But the injury to the horse I have could have been prevented. I did address an unsafe gate and asked my husband to fix it several times, it wasn't something I could do myself and he is a builder. And I ususally get that reaction where I am just being too parinoid. Ok, now I have to look at a beautiful horse that has nerve damage in his face. Half of his mouth is paralaysed, and I have seen some improvement and yet is is still there. I have already invested $2,000 addressing this horse, well, actually, I still owe most of that amount.

Now I have a real hard time looking at this animal as it brings back the memories of all the animals that were damaged 4 years ago. I was not ready to have something new happen, especially to an animal that was one of the brightest spots in my life during the past four years.
I do get emotional and try to message his mouth and I feel terrible for him. I have a hard time looking at him and then the others and I do want to run, but I can't. So I come here to PC alot just to think about something else.

The last visit with the vet was considered by my husband to not be necessary. I was too concerned, should have not gone to that expense. My concern was if the animal was getting enough fluid as horses sip, they don't lap up water like a dog. How can he sip if half of his mouth if not working. But, my husband felt that visit was just unnecessary.

Now my daughter comes out and sees this injury. She is very upset (I have been extremely upset about this horse myself) and she is acting like I am not doing good by the horse and that I should now be having a chiaropractor visit the horse. And my husband and daughter discuss what I am not doing for the horse. And my husband has not mentioned how very much it has been bothering me and that I have spent a lot already. And then it becomes a discussion of what I have not done instead of recognizing that I am trying to address it. And it is the mentality of crititisizm that doesn't need to happen and it is not productive in any way.
It can be very straining emotionally, the same as saying please stop this poor behavior and what part of that did you not understand?

I don't know how I got through yesterday. I was lectured by my husband and he critiqued almost every move I made, even my driving and my way of handling life and how I don't look at things right and on and on and on. So, after several hours of this I was driven into rage.
I was up all night last night, don't know why, my medication usually knocks me out.
I have all kinds of concerns and I feel like I need a big time out, but I can't seem to get it.

My husband finally appologizes, but its too late. And I know this because I had to sit through all those triggers and frustration and critisizm and I got to the point where my thoughts were going to very bad places. And I know it is from being so frustrated as I do set boundaries and they are ignored.

So when I go and talk to a therapist I have to know they can understand WHAT I AM TRYING TO DEAL WITH AND UNDERSTAND, ESPECIALLY THE UNWANTED PAIN AND ANXIETY. Now, I know that a therapist cannot change my life or pay the stack of bills on the table or deal with my aging attorney that is a big question mark for me or even fix my horses face or all the other damaged animals I tend to everyday. And I cannot run from any of this, it is my responsiblity to try to stay on top of it and try to deal with it, try, try, try, one day at a time.

But I do need for my therapist to understand how bad it is, it is real, it is unwanted, it is misunderstood, it is challenged, I am challenged, I NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. I don't need a therapist to say it doesn't exist. I know it takes work, but I need a therapist to HELP ME DO THE WORK AND GUIDE ME. I certainly don't need to pay another person to tell me that what I am addressing and having trouble dealing with is my fault etc.
No, I need a therapist that understands that I am really stuggling and validate me and help me get through it. Yes, the work is up to me, I get it, but it is hard work and it doesn't change over night.

In case you havent noticed I am venting a bit here.

Open Eyes

[Open Eyes]

Now one can say, thats life just get over it. Well, I thought that was what I was doing all these years. I am a very productive person and I did keep trying to get over a lot, learn things I didn't know, (All about alcoholism, all about CSA, all about, forgiving infedelity, years of dealing with someone who was not nice, well, because that man couldn't deal with the guilt, and I did the whole forgive and try so many times)

But what I had not expected was that all that time it was causing damage. And I can't quite understand why it has all come together and has this effect that is called chronic PTSD and there is another description called complex PTSD. I don't quite understand that if I have a memory and I did work to get through things, why is it all coming up together and causing so many unwanted feelings, feeling that others don't understand, feelings that I and others have tried to explain and others don't understand. I know it is still trying to be understood and studied, because it can be very debilitating. And in that new study this term becomes a catch disorder to explain many emotional and psychological stress anxiety, and it is a depressive disorder too and everyone who has something bad happen thinks they now have it. But that isn't true, not for everyone and it can depend on the trama and perhaps a struggle with many traumas. But it is real and it has to be respected. And I have to say it is a hard nut to crack.

Open Eyes

[(JD)]

Well, the mention of the changes being offered to the DSM V, which include the terms of complex ptsd, btw (not an established dx though popular by therapists trying to jump the gun)... just adds fear into those who truly have those diagnoses. The small group of professionals are trying to water them down,imo

PTSD isn't understood by many professionals. None of us know completely what it is ALL about... but the basics stem from having been exposed to an event that caused you to almost die or think you would die etc., and having the anxiety reaction that pervades your life.

Your T may be correct in thinking that you might not have PTSD, if the event(s) don't include all the requirements for the dx. But, surely, there is a label for whatever it is that has affected you, and thus there is treatment as well.

[Nammu]

Your T may feel it is over used because she doesn't understand the complexitys of it,or is just tired of hearing it with its growing aceptance in the VA. In the '80s DID seemed to be over used but prehaps it was just identifed more, sadly it was also misused too. Curently the big seemingly overused dx is boarderline personality disorder, this one is a really easy one for pdocs and therapist because they can claim there is no cure, or that only going to DTC will work but it takes all the pressure of them to do anything, kinda like telling the victim it was there fault for dressing that way. No not allways. There is real BPD, and it can get better, and a good pdoc or T would not blame the person but it is the trend currently now. Just check the web. It is also not an axis I Dx.

Like some of the other posts I agree, you need to ask her to stop the paper work for a sesion and talk, use the time to ask your questions, write them down if you need to so you wouldn't forget. Find out what is behind the remark if she has a personal problem with it you might be better off with someone who can give you a blank slate, and start from the begining. I'm sure everyone on the site has horror stories of T's or pdocs who for one reason or another didn't click, but that doesn't make them nessasarly bad t's or pdocs, sometimes its just the specialty, personality, training, or bias. I once had a pdoc who tried to insist that I did not have PTSD, but BPD she did no tests, she was not interested in my past, I had 2 different personality specilest in 2 different states who had tested me and they came up with zero personality problems and the other testing showed severe trama and complex PTSD, she didn't care, I found out her reason was, if I had PTSD I would be put into her group and she did not want to work with a deaf client. Sometimes its not so easy to find out why. But T's and Pdocs are as human as the rest of us. Some of them have a much harder time admiting they have faults. Good luck and stand up for your rights and valadation of what you know.

[SpringingTiger]

Originally Posted by SpringingTiger

She is new to me. only have seen her 3 times and most of this has been

paperwork( boy this girl has paperwork)

So I am just wondering...I feel confused by her response.

This new therapist says PTSD is one of those popular new terms, often

overused. She knows little to nothing of my present life situation right now-

well - have you ever had a reaction like this ? Yes I felt it was a "reaction"-

almost defensive,

So my question: is this actually a common view of PTSD , shared by many

therapists ?

This reply being written another day. I want to thank everyone that shared their thoughts and experiences because in between all of those shared words from the heart, I found other people that get it, that understand. I learned better how to approach with this T....but as things turn out, this is how it is now.
My last visit- and is my last visit- I felt so much worse it felt like there was no relating, no connection nothing I said or did not say changed the basic nature of us possibility being able to work together. I left last time feeling so confused, saying to myself- (you know that "self talk"- am I such off track and so wrong that even a therapist does not get it or me?)

Later that same day, in passing conversation with a close friend, she highly recommended the other T that works there. No big discussion, just try this T.
So I feel hopeful. I called first T, brought closure to our meeting to work together any longer. I tried doing this with our last visit but she didn't get what I was saying. I guess. But more positive note, I am now working on getting an appointment with a therapist that will help guide me through this situation I am in and support my motivation.

thank all of you for being who you are, and being open.

[SpringingTiger]

Originally Posted by pgrundy

jwabf, I am so sorry for your loss and I identify with what you are saying, sadly. Through these tragic experiences you learn fast that real friends are very rare and most people are not strong unless they have to be. I had a similar experience after surviving a very violent crime. People could not deal with it, not even people close to me. It wasn't my fault, but I got the brunt of not just the crime itself, but other people's fears and confusion about the unpredictability and savageness of random violence.

When people tell me I am strong and a survivor I think, wow, I'd rather be rich and pretty. Not really, but you know, it gets old.

Thank you for sharing that. I do have a therapist and have been through many, many years of therapy and no doubt will see many more. I'm OK. There are some things about people I'd rather not know, but I think that knowing them has made me more compassionate. I hope so.

I so needed to hear these words today. yes, many people -even those once close to you- will or can at some point pull back. Today I was thinking about
this, on a personal level, and came to the word "fear" .

It is the fear that perhaps this too could happen to them ( yes, bad things can happen to anyone)

It is the fear that we really are not in control of all things in our life.
Suffering -for me- has brought more compassion for others. When you experience deep suffering, you begin to understand all beings experience suffering.
Avoiding someone else's suffering, out of fear, is a form of suffering as well.

[Nammu]

I'm so glad for you. Yeah hearing some of that stuff does get old, so I'll just say I'm glad your moven on w/ a new T and one you will hopfilly click with.