Struggling

I am stressing so badly right now. I don't understand it, but this stress if triggering flashbacks like mad. It has nothing to do with s*x or anything like, but intimacy b/t me and my husband brings on these incredible flashbacks, and after years of being able to hold them at a distance, I am failing miserably right now. The last few weeks have been utter chaos here - a friend we've been helping has gone swirling down the drain in the midst of her mental illness and it has caused innumerable problems. At my place of business, with my husband, with close friends, at church, and in so many other areas. I love her dearly, but I've had to take my hands completely off where she is concerned. She feels like I have abandoned her, and that guilt is but one more thing added to this giant pot of "effed up'ness." I am not sure how I'm going to go back to work tomorrow. . .I can't get through an hour without trembling, shaking, crying and feeling like I'm going to puke.

Usually, I SI when things get this bad. But I haven't hurt myself in a long time, and I don't want to start back down that road. I have talked to T. . .his advice is to "breathe and wait it out." Yeah, great advice.

"graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

This feeling you have will have an end. It's only for now that you feel this way. Every time you get a flashback, you need a hug. Imagine a brief pause in all the commotion, for a quiet hug. It works for me. I imagine myself hugged (sometimes it's called self-hugging). but you can have hug, too.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Gracey}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Lar

I appreciate the sentiment Larry. . .but hugging a person who suffers from PTSD is not always the right answer. Esepcially when they have PTSD due to physical abuse.

Gracey, I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I do understand. It's a tough thing to learn : self-care. With PTSD we are generally so reactive... and really unable to be consoling someone else. You are not responsible for that friend's actions, nor to be her rescuer. Back away, make apologies and back away. It is perfectly ok! AND your doing that will show her by example something she maybe also needs to learn.

TC breathe... do self care...

(((((((Gracey))))))

I am glad you did appreciate my intent, Gracey. Are handshakes okay? A symbol of recognition of some sort? Something that pauses you is a good thing, IMHO. It's all I know to do. Akin to the breathing decision. To consciously control and observe breathing is a distracting tool, and the deep slow breathes so produced ensure hyper/hypoventilation is prevented. And if you can imbue your "pause for Gracey" with some symbolic meaning, all the better.

I wish you better days.

Lar