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Old Sep 07, 2012, 02:43 PM
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MDDBPDPTSD MDDBPDPTSD is offline
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Finding little things very hard right now.

Frustrated that the world does not work perfectly. People make mistakes. People screw up. I know this. It really isn't that big of a deal.
So why do I feel like it is HUGE?

Why does my anxiety level have to shoot through the roof when someone makes a mistake? Why can't I just be patient and allow time for the problem to be fixed before my anxiety escalates? Anxiety is acting like there are no solutions to these issues. As if the mistakes are never going to be fixed. My anxiety doesn't care about the reasonable solutions offered and in process.It seems to just go through the roof, just because there is a problem.

Problems are going to happen most days. Most of them will not be worth the effort and stress of anxiety. Most of them can be solved with some effort and willingness.

So why are my emotions going from zero to 60 in 0.3 seconds over every little thing?

I hate living this way. I am so tired. Anxiety takes a great deal of energy.

I was hoping the knowledge that a problem was being worked on and there was no need for anxiety would somehow decrease the anxiety. Silly me.



Any suggestions?

Comments?

I feel like such a loser.

Thanks for reading this.
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  #2  
Old Sep 07, 2012, 02:48 PM
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AngelWolf3 AngelWolf3 is offline
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Oh my gosh. You totally nailed how I am. I didn't realize it was anxiety, i just figured it was me being impatient or a bleep...
Know you are not alone! I know that doesn't solve anything or help at all, really (I don't have advice since I have the same EXACT issue) but know that you aren't a loser! I hope that someone has some advice, though, because it is so hard!

Thank you for posting this.
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  #3  
Old Sep 07, 2012, 03:54 PM
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beauflow beauflow is offline
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(((MDDBPDPTSD)) & (((Wolfin3)))

I get this way too-- actually here recently at work I have seemed to more gotten annoyed with things of people "not getting the job" that they have worked there for years for (and i too- so it is nothing new)....

I realize that there are several small triggers for me of this related back to my childhood (what the PTSD dx is for me).....

Sometimes 'finding that connection can help' for me... I get a little less mad..
Sometimes it does not matter

Sometimes really taking a break for me-- me time of just breath in, i like to smell and taste coffee (I Know horrible it is said in many things to stay away from caffiene when going threw bad trigger times) but at the same time, the smell and taste- I focus on for a few minutes... take that break. remind myself there are still good things... try to find some understanding for some...

Now these things don't always work for me -- but some times they do..

Sometimes reminding myself-- this too shall pass.. it is a bump...

I am sorry, here lately I have been struggling (as usual it seems like) but as many say-- Remind yourself of the gains that you have made.... not all is a loss, things are learned ...



hope some of that help or someone else can give some things for helpfulness
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  #4  
Old Sep 08, 2012, 01:20 AM
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shezbut shezbut is offline
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I *think* that it's due to having too much to deal with right now.

I am exactly the same way, for the past week or so. I've been stuck on a teeter-totter, between anxiety and rage. Anxiety feels more socially acceptable to me, but every once in a while...rage shoots out of me, from seemingly nowhere!

A few weeks ago, I'd noticed that my depression was feeling worse. Feeling as though my medications just weren't helping me. I still haven't made a change in meds, but I have spoken with the nurse. Hopefully, he'll make some change/s soon, 'cause this sux!

Have your tried contacting your pDoc for some medical treatment? Has your T returned from vacation? Hopefully, you've gotten to see her and talk about things have gone for you while she was away. If you haven't had that opportunity yet, you could try writing down how your feeling. Without worrying about the words, cursing, or spelling. Just write what you're thinking inside for 20 minutes. That can help some people a lot!

You could try to take your mind off things, through distractions, but it's only a short-term relief. Listen to some fun, fast music and dance some energy away. Focus on all of the bubbles in the sink as you wash dishes. Marvel at their shapes, sizes, and colors. Smell the bubbles. You don't want to taste them (yuck!), but how do they feel?

I hope one or two of the ideas work for you.
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  #5  
Old Sep 10, 2012, 10:57 AM
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AngelWolf3 AngelWolf3 is offline
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I like the bubble idea! I never thought about that, but they are quite mesmerizing. Thank you both, for your replies....(sorry I am lurking on this thread!)

How are you doing today, MDD.....?
  #6  
Old Sep 10, 2012, 01:22 PM
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Irine Irine is offline
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With PTSD and anxiety survival instincts kick in - and the thinking doesn`t work. our body reacts immediately as if attacked. My therapist had me practice meditation...
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  #7  
Old Sep 10, 2012, 02:32 PM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
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(((MDBPDPTSD))),

Yes, you are discribing PTSD and it is a challenge. I have to work at it myself and I admit that I can get frustrated with it too. I keep reminding myself "its ok" and that helps a lot. I have discribed how I use the chalkboard in my mind and how I picture it write the numbers 10-1 and erase them slowly, but sometimes I just draw on the board and that helps me to stop the overload of thoughts and reduce that feeling of "flight" that comes from the cortizol buildup in my body.

Beauflow is right, understanding where the discomfort comes from and finding a resolve will slowly help you "desensitize" again. Pay attention to your feelings and find ways to calm yourself, sometimes you simply have to take a time out and practice something you find relaxing.

Yes, feeling like a "loser" is normal to those who struggle with PTSD. Make sure you make a decision to "self care" and don't let yourself feed into that feeling. I am glad you came to PC and have found others who can validate your feelings and encourage you to keep working on healing too.

I hope you are working with a therapist as well. A good therapy session once a week does wonders because you can get on track with understanding "trama and recovery" and the "stages of the recovery" as well. It takes time to work through PTSD so you have to learn to be patient with yourself.

(((Hugs)))
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  #8  
Old Sep 10, 2012, 10:21 PM
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likewater likewater is offline
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Wow, I struggle with this stuff too. Mostly I just get exhausted and feel soo nervous all the time. I do neurofeedback and I think itaa's helpinh and I take a lot of meds. After I was baptized not allowed coffee but can drink coke. I know, it doesn't make sense to me
either, but I like coke so i'm not questioning a good thing. Breathing from my belly helps and pics .of family anf bfriend at workspace help
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  #9  
Old Sep 11, 2012, 12:44 AM
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MDDBPDPTSD MDDBPDPTSD is offline
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Thanks for all the replies.
I appreciate the feedback, support and suggestions.
I am continuing to deal with things a few minutes at a time.. day by day.
I have seen my therapist once since she has been back. That was helpful. She reminded me to not borrow trouble from tomorrow and to do my best to stay in the present, not live in the past. Just to deal with what is necessary for now and let tomorrow happen, knowing that I do not have to go through it alone.
I will use some of your suggestions too. In terms of taking care of myself, I think I will give me permission to light a scented candle today and just enjoy it. Maybe sit in my favorite chair with my head back and my eyes closed and enjoy the scent. I can not do it now, but I will do this for me today.
I might try the bubble thing too, as washing the dishes usually brings anger with it, so I can maybe change the feelings of that activity but just gaining a new perspective. Instead of feeling resentment for having to wash the dishes, I can use the chore as an opportunity to experience and have fun with the bubbles. Why not?
Thanks again for all the help. God bless you all.
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