This Election challenged me.

((((OE)))) just to clarify, President Obama did not say vote out of revenge. He said Voting was the best revenge in response to the fear mongering and scare tactics of the Romney campaign. It didnt register for me when you wrote it because ai chalked it up to another twist of words and doubling down by that particular group. It was another ridiculous comment to me that I promptly dismissed.

I know how hard you and your family have worked. I understand the love you have for your ponies and how hard you worked to build your business. I respect the heck out of you for creating so much. And my heart hurts for you and all the trauma you have endured due to your neighbor's negligence. And the incompetence of your lawyer. It isnt fair and you dont deserve it. It makes me angry as hell also that the insurance company is dragging this out to the point of emotional torture.

Take good care, my friend. I am on your side.

Rose

Well, in all honesty Rose, I felt that this campaign was "low and dirty" and we all know that Obama has not led in a bipartisn way. Both sides are aware of this problem, even the "Democrats" have not been "happy" with him but they do want to keep in "some aspect of control" so they go along with it. Even Obama himself did admit that the campaign had run some very "low and dirty" adds about Romney, he "again" just blamed it on his "campaign managers" as that is his MO, blame things on "others".

I didn't really care for Romney from what I had seen in the Primaries tbh. Like many others, I didn't really connect with him. However, I began to see that he was also picked on and painted in such a bad light too. And I made sure that I kept an "open mind" and didn't just "assume". And I know first hand how it feels to be painted in a bad light and be questioned. It had happened to me from that trainer, and he made a huge effort to pass terrible lies about me in "in revenge" for standing up, leaving his barn and reporting the horrible "neglect" going on where him and his wife were "neglecting" their 5 children. And many of the other people being trained by him chose to go along with his lies. I know they knew about it, saw bad things, and they chose to "ignore" it. Their own children found it very disturbing, however they even over rode that and still chose to "ignore it".

When that happened, at the same time I had just found out that my husband had cheated on me with two women that were "sluts" and really slept around, which put me and my health at risk too. Oh it such a terrible time in my life, I never deserved that, I don't lie and do things like that and I was such a good wife and mother.

On top of that, this trainer had a student that found a way to hack into our computer.
This student pretended she was my daughter and created so much anger in my daughter's friends by pretending she was my daughter and playing head games with my daughter's friends. This same student was the daughter of a woman minsiter of a big church, who was also a psychologist. I went to her out of concern about how badly this trainer was neglecting his children, her daughter had been getting a free ride by this trainer so she chose to "ignore" and just advised me to "do what I felt I needed to do". My god I will never forget that, how someone of that standing would turn a blind eye.

Well, she got a big payback for that, because she chose to turn a blind eye and keep her daughter under this "creepy, dirty minded trainer" her daughter turned into a major slut. We all heard about her going down to Florida with him and how she invited all the barn boys into her hotel one night, one after the other. And, she got caught driving druged and drunk with underaged passengers.

Well, after so much "negetive adds about Romney" for so many months, what did the public expect him to do in that first debate?

I was triggered a lot in this election as I mentioned and it was different because of the way I felt going into just observing it all. And because I know first hand how someone can be "falsely" painted to be a "bad person", I made sure I just "didn't go along with believing at face value".

I do feel this election was "low and dirty" and at this point, I also know that I am not the only one that feels that way.

Fear mongering?, well there have been "truths" about the fact that as a country, we are in grave danger and if we do not "work together" we will all suffer.

Open Eyes

I got interrupted while writing my last post. I actually started this thread because I "do" suffer from PTSD. And I was triggered alot while "observing" this campaign. I decided to just open up and talk about the "hows" and "whys" of my triggers. I wanted to do that in a safer way, away from the "current events forum" where I could be "debated" or even "ignored" for really just struggling. And I did notice that I stood alone amongst Obama supporters, which also triggered me.

I have had a lot of very real and "distrubing" challenges in my life. I really thought I just got past or through these challenges, and they really do go all the way back. I never in my wildest dreams imagined this awful and crippling PTSD. I thought after things began to calm down, the constant addressing of losses from such a negligent person, I would find my way to "rise up again" I had done it so many times all my life, but this time it just didn't come. Depression came instead and continued to grow, and I kept thinking, well, PTSD must mean "deep grief" and to just be patient. I had no idea how bad it was going to get.

Misunderstood?, wow, I was going to experience that more than any other time in my whole life. I just felt a million miles away from being "understood" and unfortunately, my family was so ignorant and misinformed, they all were so angry and down right mean to me for something I just could not help. Oh, no one should have to go through that, I am so angry about that now that I understand PTSD so much more than I did. OMG, it is the loneliest thing to go through, so very hard, and I was really bad and really wanted to give up on life. And from where I am now, it doesn't have to be that way, it could have been a lot easier with the right help and support. It was so hard for me to finally "find that". That is a really big reason why I spend a lot of time here, a very big part of me doesn't want anyone else to be alone like I was.

I am at a point now where I am doing much better, I still struggle, but also see how I am gaining too. The fact that I can even make an attempt to "follow" this campaign, well, I was pretty proud of that. I was strong enough to realize that "while I was often triggered", I could use that as an opportunity to, see why, and work through it.
Well, that is where the gain finally comes with PTSD, always in the "after".

What has also been interesting, is that while I was triggered, many of my reactions were not just the PTSD, but also felt by half the nation too. For someone with PTSD, that is very important because it is a step to "not being a million miles away from others" which is how PTSD feels.

Well, Rose, you know first hand that I do reach out and stand beside you and have encouraged you to just "be you" and "be ok with you". I have seen you make some gains too, and I have kept up in supporting that in you, because I feel you so deserve it.

But I also listen to others, others who have different opinions and somehow hide out and stay silent, "I must be odd somehow" they think and so they don't "speak their minds". My message to them has also been, " That is "your opinion" so speak up and I personally like to hear what you say, your not so "out there". Oh and when I see that person speak up, it picks me up so. And I am always going to be that way, I am now forever changed and do my best to "respect" and encourage others.

Ideally, what I would have liked to have seen was, " Yes, that was not something that should not have been said" by that candidate. And I did finally hear that on the news and also "finally" read the honest mood of our country this morning and how "devided" it really is right now.

So, I did a lot of soul searching during this whole "dog and pony show", and many of the things I felt that were just too "low and childish" were also felt by others. So as I mentioned, it was nice to not just think I am the one that is still just a million miles away in how I feel about this election.

PTSD, is very "absorbing" and it pulls the person deep into whatever is there in their "subconscious mind".
When I met with my therapist this week, I looked at his neat book shelf and I talked about imagining that book shelf and a cabinet full of books just shoved and in disarray so that opening the door would just allow all the books to tumble out, that is PTSD. And, for the person who has that happen, it really takes time to sort through the many books (messages) that represent the confusion in their subconscious mind, and slowly, and perhaps even for the first time, finally place these books back on the shelf with a sense of order.

When I think about my own journey with it and how I was last year when I joined PC, wow. I sat at this computer and I spent a lot of time here a PC. All I knew is that it helped. But if other members could have seen me, I was so riddled with anxiety and so many thoughts and fears all at once, just to sit here and type one thought at time, to find some books of reason within myself as I reached out somehow so motivated to helping others and just expressing my thoughts. I remember how long my posts were, and a member that pointed out how my posts were like reading a speeding train. Yes, that was me, my brain was a speeding train, trying so very hard.

I see my little beauflow doing something very similar, so many struggles, so many books of memories written out. And I know what she is trying to do, and I really know she needs to see something there that says, yes, beauflow, I see it too, its ok, sort through it and be determined to "grow" past it and I know it is so hard. And I can also see what a really "nice' young lady she is, and I honestly want to just somehow reach in to PC and give her a real hug. And I also know that at some point, with the right support, she will begin to find "more balance" in her mind. At some point she will begin to truely see that pile of books slowly taking order, finally, on that shelf again.

I saw the young student (talked about earlier here) I had for the first time in a couple of years, she is going to Buffalo with my daughter and my daughter's horse for the next four days to watch her train with George Morris. OMG, she is so rail thin and pale and clearly lost, not that young girl that had spent so much time being mentored here and was gaining, but now so very lost. I can see why my daughter has been so upset, can't even go near her mother because she just wants to yell at her for not paying attention to her child who is clearly lost and suffering. Oh, I wish I had more money to help her because she is smart and very talented, also very petite and pretty. She has tried to take her own life twice now, she really needs therapy and to be "away" from her negetive parents. My daughter is thinking about taking her in when she gets her new house, and as I mentioned, bring my beautiful mustang to where my daughter keeps her horse for her to ride and to help her get her life together. I just don't know if that will be enough, wish she could have therapy too. Oh, she really looks awful.

Well, I know this is a long post. Well, that is me and PTSD, still a tangle. It is'nt just this election that challenges me. I still have the wacky old lawyer, the lawsuit, mom's alzheimers is getting worse, dad is showing signs of demencia, sister has shingles and tumors on her thyroid, sigh, I can't look in a single direction that isn't a mess, plus a hurricane and now a snow storm. So bear with me, anyone who reads this, I am just a middle aged woman who is still sorting through a pile of books and I have not got them all on that shelf yet. But I am doing much better than last year, so for anyone being challenged with PTSD, my constant message, keep self caring and working at it, it will "slowly" get better, please, don't be alone, reach out, keep trying.

Open Eyes

((((OE)))) you are in very good company with your feelings ... I hope you received the support and validation needed, & you found this a safe place to speak up.

Well (((Rose))), actually I have been challenged when it comes to "me saying I hurt, I think this is wrong, I need to talk about how I hurt".

This past Sunday my sister brought my mom to her house because my parents had no power and it got cold. I pulled up my psychological boot straps and went to visit my mother at my sisters which is closer than driving to my parents house. I also struggle when I go to my parents because sometimes I get triggered in their house, bad things happened to me there. I don't want to "fall apart" in front of my parents because they are too old now to "understand" what it all means.

I have not been able to even hear my sister's voice without getting severely triggered for a long time. So for me to actually be in her physical presence is a big deal. I sat and listened to her go on and on about all her challenges in taking care of my parents. In the back of my mind I kept telling myself to do my best to "observe" and try not to allow myself to be triggered. My sister has been "very controling" around my parents and it got to a point where there was no way for me to be involved in that picture without having to "face so much control" along with "constant condescending messages" from my sister.

Most of my conversation with my sister was all about her talking about, "OMG, this is bad and that is hard and this happened and it is hard on her". And she always "exaggerates" and "blows things up" and "drama, drama, drama". So it is a challenge to see "the truth" and separate that from "the dramatics".

After a while as she calmed down having someone to "listen" and sympathize with her, I took a chance and shared how I am still struggling (just a little). It was clear that she changed her tempo to doing her minimum duty of "making me think she cared". Then she suddenly said, "I can't hear that, can't go there, sorry, but I have to take care of "me" right now".

After she said that I found myself flipping through so many times in my life where that really was the message. "Don't say anything, I can't hear that, sorry but "just deal" on your own because whatever it is, it isn't important enough. Also the constant message was "I don't want to hear OE's point of view, I only want to think about how I am always right".

When she shut me off, and I saw so many flips of my past, I realized that when I was little, and many other times, I DID TRY TO TELL. And it was always met with , "don't tell me, I don't want to hear it or acknowledge OE and her challenges". And "If you can't do things my way OE, then you can't play at all" and "I will ignore you completely". Also, "if you dare tell me I am wrong, I will knock you down so hard you will wish you never "challenged me". Or, you are wrong OE, you are unreasonable, no it isn't that way so "shut up". Or, what OE thinks is not important, is wrong, has no value or meaning, "unless she sees things my way". OE's job is to "follow" and "not question" or "disagree" and "we do not want to hear OE's problems, it is not important". And forget it if I am "right" and see the writing on the wall of something bad coming, danger or risk. And if no one listens, and it does come, OE has all the bad consequences dumped in her lap to be left to deal with. And, ofcourse, there is no "I am sorry" either, it is always, "Just get over it and deal with it" and "I don't want to hear it, so shut up".

Basically, what I am talking about is "victim mentality" too. And when OE is very brave and stands up, she will pay a price for that, and it usually is very hard on OE.
So much of my past has been some strange way of "working around other people and being able to see their needs and be strong". And whenever OE talks about the wrongs or how "she" hurts, she always faces being "very misunderstood".

And the other constant is if OE has an idea and is creative or "produces" or "gains" in some way, "how can I take it and then "claim it as mine"". And I could go on and on about so many different ways that has taken place. But I do know, human beings do look to those who "produce and make gains" and try to "make it their own". I am very aware that I am not the only person who, if I come up with something good, I face whatever that is to be just "wanted by someone else to claim as their own".

So, for me to "share" how I struggle and be open, it is a big deal. I write something that discribes my own pain somehow, and there is a very big part of me that is waiting to hear all those words used that mean "your pain is not important and get over it and just deal".

So, I have a tremdous amount of "empathy" when I see others making a brave effort to "talk about how they hurt somehow". And I have to be careful because I often "sacrifce my own needs to help others with their needs".

Very deep within my subconscious, I learned that "OE can't be happy", if OE is happy she will be "punished" and "whatever makes her happy will be replaced with pain". That message goes all the way back to a baby that was considered a threat for love and attention and praise. There is a very bad flashback I have, I am so little, in a crib and in a lot of pain and crying really hard and very vulnerable and frightened.
I hate that flashback, because I can't see what is happening, but it cripples me for days. And my T tells me I may never see what is happening to me because of how little I was. Of all my flashbacks, I am at a loss because that is the one I cannot resolve the way I have with all the others.

So when others talk about "not being heard" or "valued" in some way, I hear the depths of it, I know how that feels to the depths of me and how hard it is to overcome. I know what I so needed to hear myself, and because of that, I make it a point to step up to the plate and give it to others, knowing full well, they truely deserve it, and often, until they get back on their feet "psychologically", until they can realize that they actually "are worthy" and "should be happy and strong" and whatever is there that is a "loss" it truely not their fault.

Open Eyes

So getting back to this election process, how it has ended up is "not" healthy for this country, because it is "devided". And while there is and has been a devide already because of the difference between "Democrats" and "Repulicans", we have always been able to overcome that when we make efforts to "meet in the middle". When Clinton was president, he made efforts to "meet in the middle" and when he did that, we came together as a country, and we grew. When that happens, we have a "true leader" and the line of separation subsides and we all work together.

The past four years, that has not happened, and there has been a great deal of animosity in Washington, we call that "gridlock".

This is every bit like a child growing up, trying to have "faith in self" and "feel safe and nurtured" and to the "subconscious depths" gains permission to "thrive on their own and be strong". If that child is in an environment of "disfunctional" parents that argue and resent and battle for control and respect, that child will "not" have the "needed subconscious messages" to have balance and knowlege of compromise and direction to thrive".

This is exactly what we are now as a "nation". When this takes place, we are vulnerable and at great risk of becoming a "victim" and even falling into an abiss of "depression". We have already been seeing that take place. And, this nation is now at the point where it is growing more and more dependant on our government. What this is like is a child that "never grows up, remains dependant until the parents can no longer provide". As human beings, we are not designed to "thrive" this way. Living things that are designed to survive in "groups" or "herds" have to allow for the young to be "nurtured and understand how to "self sustain" as well as be a functional part of the "group, or herd". And we cannot "just" talk about it, we have to know how to do it. A child cannot "flourish" when parents just "talk about" a need to get along and "respect" each other and find a way to have a balance. A child needs to "see it take place" and get the correct messages where that child builds a "balanced subconscious library of problem solving and direction" to truely "thrive".

If we teach a child to "be a dependant" that is what that child will expect to thrive on, "dependancy". And all we have to do is look at Greece to see where this leads as a country.

We are a long way from "Kennedy's" message of "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country".

The bottom line is that "aside from all the promises" of no taxes and more "gifts", we will, infact, be paying out "more taxes" and the only thing that will "change" is how that is "described". And that is exactly what is taking place right now in our "government", because we cannot "thrive" as a country of citicizens on the "take" anymore. And, yes, big bird will have to "fend for self" along with many other "things" that we may feel we are somehow "entitled" to have.

The "election is over" now, and we have 6 weeks or less to finally "deal" with the "cliff" that has been looming, being held off so that it can look like "we will be allowed to continue to "depend" the way so many have become accustomed to and now feel "entitled to depend". And if the "proverbial parents" don't stop "arguing" and just "talking about respect", they will "lose the home and food on the table and the marriage" and ofcourse we all know the children will "suffer" which in this case is "Amercian citizens". And no amount of "antidepressant" medication will "solve that".

And to use the word "revenge" "IS " bad. A child will not thrive with parents who begin to act on and talk about revenge. The parents "must" actually learn to "respect" and "work together" for that child to "honestly know how to do that as well".

Fear mongering?, Ok, then let's see how this unfolds and how we actually have to deal with the "CLIFF" that we truely can no longer "ignore". We are borrowing money from China, well take a good look at the "citizens" there, are they happy? Remember those nets now when you "consider that" and also think about the "Apple" factory where those workers cannot even earn enough to "buy one for themselves". What will happen if we cannot repay our debt to China? Oh, and lets not forget to notice how "China" is "slowly taking our technology for themselves". Remember what "human nature truely is" when it comes to "taking ideas and finding a way to "claiming". If parents are fighting, and cheating, and refuse to get along and it all comes down to "revenge" what happens? The productivity dissipates and finally the "banks" don't care and just "call the loan and foreclose".

Think about a woman who "stays in a bad marriage" and bears verbal or even physical abuse because she doesn't have the "means" to walk away. A woman who now "believes" she "can't make it even if she tries to obtain some kind of education to do so". If she tries hard, she will at least send a message to her children, do not let this happen to you, but these children will be at a loss because they will have not truely "seen" how it can be different, how it doesn't have to be about "revenge or disrespect". And I know all about this myself as I see my own daughter "not want to end up like mother" but not know how to "do respect in a realationship" herself. Thank god, at least she is educated and knows how to "thrive" alone somehow.

And if we really look, where is the American "family" now? What is the busiest forum here at PC? Take a look at all the headings, and the constant "challenge" that is discussed in that forum.

I watched this election and what was "permitted" to take place, and forget "trickle down economics that don't work", we have an enormous "trickle down of terrible ways that our "adult" prospective leaders are allowed to say and behave like. Basically, "it is ok to lie and bully and cheat, it is expected and a sign of "freedom" in our country? What gets me is that these are people that are supposed to be "Highly educated". When I hopped on the computer this morning to check my mail and come here I see a picture of Obama "crying" and "thanking his campaign people". And it is well known how "down and dirty" that campaign was from the get go along with all kinds of "lies".

I sit across from my daughter, who is very outgoing and thriving, except for having a good healthy working relationship with a man. And I am so proud of her on so many levels. And we are talking about this young girl that really has talent and is pretty and yet so incredibly lost, depressed, confused, no direction or even "how" to believe she can actually "thrive"somehow. My daughter "wants to help her" but she wonders if it will work. Will she be able to house this young 19 year old, motivate her to get a job, find it within herself to thive inspite of her "very disfunctional" upbringing, and get on track with a productive life? Or, will she just fall apart and try to "free load", thinking that is all she can do? Will she just fall apart at the first sign of "struggle" or "negetive message from some employer"? Idk, she is very low and frail right now, it is such a big challenge. My daughter has done miracles with "abused animals", and has one now that has really responded in a remarkable way to her "rehabiliatation and retraining". But a human being is more complex in so many ways.

While this may not seem to "relate" to what I am seeing of my country, it does connect, it really speaks volumes of our youth of today and what kind of "messages" they can "grab onto" that actually says, yes, you can thrive "inspite" of all these "negetive" messages being thrown your way. And, like never before, our youth is bombarded with lots of negetive messages because of our vast technology that exposes them to so many troubling messages that make them "question" themselves in so many ways.

I pray, that we find our way away from this divide in our country. No, the word "revenge" is never a part of, real growth and balance. I think so many people, myself included, "craved" some presence in the middle in this election. Yes, there was this strong desire to have a presence that cut through all the "negetive" confusion and just talk about "a real plan" for repair and getting together in a viable direction "away" from the low life rederick and vagueness and "bikering" and "name calling childs play we were all subjected to that tired us all out. None of us as citicizens should be "afraid" to watch a debate or listen to the different "ideas" our presidencial candidates present for us to "choose" as we go and vote. And what a "waste" of so many "BILLIONS" to "attack and promote this constant method of "deformation" of charector often based on "lies". With a country where so many are homeless and even starving? Wow, while it is good to have our choice and be able to "vote", we really have let this process take such a "degrading, and childish, almost very primitive and disfuctional, wasteful direction.

I actually felt the "vice presidential" debate was "disgusting to watch" and I "hated Bidens behavior, it was so "disrepectful" of American citizens who are so challenged right now. And yes, I was taken back by Obama's seemingly uninterested and unpreparedness in the first debate as well. I felt like climbing into my TV to stand there and say, "sorry the American people what to "hear from you" because we are very worried about how we can't make ends meet and thrive as we used to in the country." Yes, I would have liked a "third and mature" candidate to cut through all of that for me somehow. For any adult, woman or man to say, I don't want to "watch the debates" or "listen" because it is too upsetting and "depressing" or "triggers me" or "fills me with anxiety", wow, that is really "bad". It's pretty bad when we, American citizens find ways to "disassociate" from the "process" and just open up receptors to "some of our needs that might be respected or met somehow".

And sadly, that is exactly what I did as a child who grew up in "disfuction and suffered abuse I didn't understand", find ways to "disassociate" the bad and find whatever "positives" I could be receptive to. I was one of those "daughters" of a mother stuck too and I did see that in a confused way and I didn't tell about my being abused because I knew it would get worse for her. No, I didn't reach my full potential as a human being because of all of that, I am more than aware of that now, in a way I never dreamed of dealing with it "all over again".

Open Eyes

(((Thanks for reading Timg5))),

My last post is something I would like to stand up and say to these people in Washington and how difficult it was for so many Americans to "view" this last election process. I know in my heart that many went to vote not really feeling there was a "solid and dependable" choice.

"Obama, the House of Representative and Congress, I emplore you, please make "real" efforts to "let go of revenge" and really reach across the isle and get this country "United again" and "really moving in a "realistic" direction of "recovery", purple is actually a very nice color.

Open Eyes

Obama made remarks yesterday about moving things forward. It is up to the House at this point.

Are they going to continue to gridlock for no other reason as for pure selfishness and blind hatred for this Administration and continue acting like 2 year olds throwing a tantrum (getting us deeper in the hole) or stand up for America.

It is up to to teabaggers (and GOP) to figure it out at this point . Even the Speaker gets it.

Will they continue to obstruct or create. It is up to the house. But either way, I feel confident the president is not going to put up with any more of the bs. We will move forward. If we dont, the tea party rep and fanatical right have no one to blame but themselves. And the American people know it.

(((Rose))),

I understand your POV, and I "do" see there are "issues" on "both" sides here. But I also see that while it is "nice" to "want" to have some of the "services" that Obama wants to provide, we cannot do what we cannot "afford" to do as a country. We cannot keep "borrowing" and making "money" anymore, we have to find a way to "earn money again as a country" by finding "real" ways for businesses to grow and get people back to work again.

Now, I do see Bainer making "efforts" to try to "reach across" to work things out, and he is "pulling away" from the "so called Tea Party strong hold" as well. Hey, I am not an economist, but I do understand "debt" unfortunately, and while there are things I really "want" and even "need", I cannot "borrow" anymore, as I "will" lose whatever I have left, which is now a real challenge to keep. And this year there was 'no" money to fund "vacinations" for my animals and no "credit" to go to either. "And I am very angry because none of this is "my fault" either and I have my own "gridlock" going on.

Ok, look at it this way, for "anyone" to have a "big estate, expensive cars, and vacations and all the "things" like a "big government", there has to be "funds" to maintain that. And we have "learned in a very big way" how just wanting and borrowing to have that "doesn't work and cannot sustain". There are thousands of "big luxury homes" vacant now, "proof that borrowing and overspending doesn't work".
And this whole movement towards getting Americans to be "homeowners" began in the Clinton administration. It continued in the Bush administration until "the cliff" was felt in this whole movement and became a "big mess" where we have come to see how "overspending" leads to ruin.

It is "clear" that Obama "wants big government" and it is also clear that what is already "there" is now "not sustainable". What is also "clear" is that we cannot just "tax" and crush new businesses from starting up, growing and producing either. And, it is also "clear" that Obama is not a business minded man, he just isn't. However, he "does" want what he wants. And so far, his "plan" is "not" working.

Yes, Obama got up and talked about being "open to solutions" however that is "open" as long as he sees "what he wants happen as well".

Yes, Obama "won" the election, but he also had a team of experts do lots of ground work and did whatever "bending" needed to get the votes. But that doesn't mean he will be "able" to do what is "needed" to get this country back on track. Plenty of people vote without really "knowing" all the particulars. My inlaws vote "democrat" no matter "who" is running and there are plenty of people like them.

I find myself "still" wanting something in the middle somehow, I am "weary" of the "two" party system that is now "butting" heads. I "blame" both parties for the jam right now, I see "problems" on "both" sides of this table. Even if Romney won this election, I think there would still be somewhat of a jam going on and even if he got elected I would "still" have reservations, he was never a slam dunk for me either. I do not "trust" the government we have right now, and there is "not enough transparancy" for me either. And I don't care for Harry Reed either, I think he has "too much power" and is "part of the resentful gridlock".

And I am still very "puzzled" about Bengazi and that situation is getting "stranger and stranger". Wow, that whole situation is weird and unsettling tbh.

I have to admitt Rose, that my PTSD does get triggered and has been all through this political environment. And I have "questions" and "concerns" and when others say, "Oh it is no big deal" well, I have been through plenty of "bad" things that people "claimed were "no big deal" that were "a big deal" and resulted in "something very bad". People "never" cease to amaze me in how they "manipulate, conive, decieve, lie, cheat, misrepresent, hide, are greedy, selfish, believe their own lies, and really don't "care" who they hurt while trying to "get what they want", all with a "kind and likeable smile on their face". I said to my therapist, wow, people can be so "bad and messed up" and his reply was, yes, it is a crazy world out there.

When my "spleen" was injured during a colonoscopy, I became a "problem" everyone didn't want to deal with. I sat across from the doctor who performed my colonscopy's partner who stared me right in the face, matter of fact and "insisted that I must have been in a car accident" and he had "no problem" "lieing" to me right to my face. There was no "accountability" at all. I had to "demand" my GP to even see me, who "finally" admitted that the reason everyone "deserted me" was because they were afraid of being "liable".
The truth is that doctors are so afraid of "losing insurance to practice now" that it interupts their ability to be "honest" with their patients. And my own GP is completely "disgusted" with it and doesn't "like" practicing medicine now.

I don't like the way the world is now Rose, there is way too much "secrecy" and "deception" now overall.
I am about 10 years older than you are and I clearly remember the days where people could be "honest" and there really was such a thing as "respect" and "honor".

Open Eyes

This all started with Reagan...and Predident Clinton went too far in appeasing the right with too much deregulation - despite his brilliance as a politician. But this isnt the roaring 90s anymore when people had way too much to spend, Wall Street was beginning to run rogue and there were 2 cars in every garage. And before the dot.com debacle. And then we have the famous (or infamous) Bush/Cheney/Rove White House that had their very own "special" agenda. Bush was a puppet anyway Anyone that took office after that crime (and I do mean crime. Like should go to jail) was in for sorting through a major disaster. And we did stave off a DEPRESSION. what we are experiencing the last 4 years and now is the product of digging ourselves out of excess, gridlock and too much compromise.

Many of us are better off than 4 years ago. This election was the tipping point in more ways than one. The past is behind us now. Thank God.

I choose to look forward and be positive. Things will either be the same misery due to the House or things will continue to improve. That is the bottom line. As far as the past, we are still digging out of that hole. But again, it is about moving forward. As far as Homeland Security and protecting the People of this country, I am far more confident now with Obama forward- thinking. Again, either the House gets their act together (and esp Cantor et al) or we will continue to move at a snails pace. The American people .... the 98% know this. And I do not believe in a fiscal cliff. Nothing the Administration is proposing will hurt anyone. Not even the 2%. They are busy hiding all of their money while we wait until Tues anyway.

And America is not the same as it was 30 years ago anyway. We are living in a new time. Yep other countries took advantage of America's greediness, conceit and selfishness.

Obama Administration is focusing on chess right now with multiple boards in action. While the others obstructionists are playing a simple game of checkers...with only our lives hanging in the balance. They dont give a c*** about the 48%....or the 98% for that matter. That is not how I wish for America to move forward.

So, do we "regulate" like Russia and China? It is difficult because you can't "over regulate" but you have to have "some regulation" and with human beings if there is a way to "cheat" and "gain" or even "abuse" that will happen. There are always those that "corrupt and disrespect", especially in "politics" an that is on "both sides of the isle".

So I do "understand" what you are saying about "deciept" in government, but hey, we can go back very far and see that was "always" there on some level.

I think you were right Rose when you told me the new way now is just the two classes, the rich and the poor, there will no longer be any "middle class", so kiss that goodbye, it is not coming back.

At this point, I am disheartened. I hope you are somehow right that Obama "can" somehow "fix" this problem over the next four years.

Right now, I "question" and I think that is "ok" to do so, I am in a lot of company in that. I know full well now not to "just trust blindly".

Open Eyes

We should always question. But even more than that, keep our eyes open. The Occupy Movement did that. However, if you are in it for yourself and only yourself without looking at the big picture and the future big picture...you will be disappointed. Pay attention. Absolutely. Also, forget National politics for a moment, state and local are equally if not more important. California is a perfect example. The landscape of our states are changing. Have changed. The middle is paying for that, too.

Oh, I pay attention in my State, it is very "blue" and unemployment is high, it is one of the most expensive states to live in (many big businesses have moved out), education rating is low, gas is very high compared to other states, taxes are very high over all compared to other states as well and many in the "middle class" have been moving out of the state and many have "lost their homes" as well.
It has been "scarey" the past four years tbh.

I wish my parents were not "needing" to stay here and may not be around in a year or two, and my daughter is here or I would consider moving elsewhere.

Open Eyes

((((OE)))) it was scary before that....i wish you the best. Perhaps, as you suggested to another member, you should move to a place that more adheres to your values.

Take care

Oh, I used to wonder how people could afford these big homes etc. But my state was "not" scarey, there were a lot of "good paying jobs" and "big companies". I isn't like that anymore.

Wow, I am wiped out and didn't sleep well at all last night either. I have "friends" on this site that are Liberals, and Conservatives and those who are totally "independant" and don't really attach to any leaning and some who don't even say how they lean, which is fine with me, because in all honesty this site to me is and should be "more about feeling safe and finding support for "mental illness" challenges.

When I went to bed last night I turned on this Fox News channel and happened to catch this Orielly with a panel of other people and they were "crtiquing" Mitt Romney's failures etc. in this election so I didn't see what was being expressed here. I was so tired I drifted off to sleep and my husband came up to bed and aparently changed the channel to the History Channel. And what they had on was all about the history of the very wealthy and how they "did" buy presidents and their whole game. I honestly thought I was dreaming that because of what I agreed with yesterday. I ended up waking up and seeing that I wasn't dreaming and what I had been hearing was actually on the Television. Oh, that was so creepy and I was still very tired and kind of drifted in and out of sleep while that was being discussed on the History channel.

I have known for a while in my own way that "believe nothing of what you hear and only half of what you see" is often so true on so many levels, and often very true in the political arena. And in my home growing up, my dad didn't ever bash another political party. And he had a lot of different clients over the years too, and never once did he speak a bad word about whoever was president or did I ever hear him walk away from anyone muttering they were just and ignorant "party affiliation" either. It was pretty much considered that "political views" were a "private matter" and not something discussed with others because it could lead to "unheathy" conversations.

Well, I had forgotten about that message I had growing up. But I "have" seen how when a conversation that turns to politics can bring out the worst in people. Especially that particular experience I have talked about being caught up sitting in the middle of my very conservative friend on one side of me and a nice couple that happened to be democrats on the other side. It was a very unpleasant experience and finally led to me no longer being able to feel comfortable with that very "conservative minded " friend. I failed her test to side with her and pound away at this other nice couple that happened to be democrats. Ugh that was awful and because I failed some hidden test to "fight her, and challenge her" I was deemed a "terrible fighter with no backbone".

Personally, I feel that "political conversations, that can get very heated" do not belong on a "mental health site" where there are people who walk a dangerous line with sometimes struggling with suicidal idealations as well. Especially when it becomes a strong leaning group of individuals and at this point it doesn't matter which leaning if it is strong enough, it can lead to a sense of others feeling "unsafe" in a place they really "need to feel safe in". Others who may have a "different POV" but are struggling so much, they simply don't have any where with all to even attempt to say "their opinion or POV".

What has been "much more important to me" is the mental health of the different members I have come to know that are genuinely struggling.

And for "anyone" who has been struggling with this issue, I am very sorry, this should "not be" something you should struggle with when what you really need is "support for your mental health issues that are challenging you the most right now".

I have been very "torn" myself and have even been considering a big time out tbh.
I tried to be open and there was a big part of me that wanted to prove my friend wrong about me not being a strong fighter too. I didn't fight her that night because I just don't like tearing people down to be honest. I have been torn down so much in my life that I just know how much it hurts. There was too much "tearing downs" in this election IMO. And while I know it bothered many on both sides, ahhhh, I personally feel that the anger etc and strong political views etc, don't belong on a "mental health support site". I feel that if "one strong point of view along with a lot of anger is allowed, that will make people feel that the site is allowing that because the site "agrees" with that POV. And to be honest, that leads to an "unsafe" feeling in all those who genuinely struggle and don't have that particular POV.

Right now, I am very, very tired tbh. In all honesty, I care more about a persons mental health than their "political preference". As I mentioned I am worn out and have been considering taking time away from all of this, however I have been "supporting" people that really need it here too and so I have been torn. But I don't feel well at all today and all this political anger atmosphere is just too much for me personally and I have to consider my own mental health at this point, I have too much going on IRL, and I need a place to go where I get support and right now I am really, really tired.

And IRL, my family doesn't get how much I struggle, I only have my T and PC. And I have too many IRL challenges going on with family that I am worn out there too.

Open Eyes

Sigh...after I wrote this I was so wiped out I went to lie down. I had the chills and I know when that happens I can end up having this really bad flashback that I really don't like and just have to be careful. But I only had a short time to rest because my husband came home and he just doesn't get it. He snidely comments how he wishes he could get time to lay down etc. And that just triggers me more because I am trying very hard to "not show how much I am struggling". There is no way I can tell him things either, he won't get it at all.

Before I wrote my last post I got a call from my sister about the holidays and she doesn't get my challenge at all, it is all about "her" challenge and as always me being "supportive" and "can't say how I am challenged" and now it is very strange. And I spent time with my daughter yesterday taking my Mustang to the barn she has her horse and I was really worried all day about how my Mustang would handle the electric fence system there, as far as I know he has no experience with that and in my past I had to deal with getting a horse all tangled up in an electric fence around it's legs free. Ofcourse my fears and concerns are "invalidated and "don't want to hear it" is given to me. And there was not going to be anyone there if he did have a problem, that made me anxious too. And my daughter doesn't get what I have either so again I have to try hard to "hide" it. The Holidays are coming and I am not looking forward to the challenge either, I really don't do well and no one gets it so I feel like I am hiding and that brings on some troubling memories too. Sigh...I just want to not be on a "constant" train like I have been, it just gets too challenging and exhausting. And I know this doesn't have anything to do with politics either. I guess I am just trying to express challenges I have other than that somehow, but I am realizing there is too much to explain and this will end up being a novel. Sigh...somehow I thought if I did that it would help my brain feel a release somehow, so I could get together the energy to go and do my chores on the farm, I am so behind there now.

I am just jumping the rails right now and need to get back on the track.

You'll get through this...one day at a time...one hour...minute...second if you have to. Breathe...go write or draw a picture on you chalk board. Your train may not be as far off the tracks as you think.


Gman

Wow, such a deep discussion. I feel like it's all been said! Well said, I might add yall. Very nice discussion.