[Big Mama]

I have been working in T on trauma's. Certain things set us off. Different things set me off that don't seem to phase my H. And vice versa. The T wants me to work on making a list of things that trigger me. I know my experiences are very different from most people's probably. I have rape and abuse in my past. So what triggers you.

If you would like to share please do. Just curious.I'll go first:
1. loud noises, yelling, I can't watch The Jerry Springer Show
2. Aggression and frustration directed at me or at others
3. Talking overtop of me, so I'm not heard
4. Not giving me oppertunity to be understood
5. Touching me
6. Invading my personal space
7. Yelling at me
8. Entrapment, not being able to walk past someone (whose angry) to get
to another room
9. Crowds

Your turn, what triggers you?

[optimize990h]

1. talking about anything related to sex

2. anything relating to work

3. when I sense that my T already made up his mind without my input

4. being in large group of people where I do not have quick exit

5. talking about #2(poo)with someone I don't know well

6. if I start to have auditory hallucinations

7. if I misplace personal articles(credit card, cell phone battery, etc)

8. if too many people are talking at once in confined space

9. anything that causes me to start thinking about my bird who passed away

10. having to put on my public mask if I am out of the house and do a lot of errands

11. having to use the phone and I waste my time calling a phone number

12. not being able to distract myself from thinking about what has led me to this point in
life.

13. not being able to help a good friend(who is suffering from their emotions)by talking
or chatting with them and clarifying scenarios

14. people misunderstanding what I wish to communicate

15. bullying type of behaviors

[Big Mama]

optimize thank you.

Discussing #2 yikes. I agree. (poo)

Discussing sex. BAD, VERY BAD agreed.

T's who have already made up there mind w/out your input, so not fair been there.

Thank you again for sharing.

[Little Me]

1. Therapy -type words such as; healing, trauma, self-care, etc.
2. yelling
3. being lied to
4. deceitful behaviour
5. game playing by co-workers
6.family arguing
7. Anyone mad at me.
8. making a mistake
9. sappy, sad music
10.lack of touch, physical contact from my family

Who's next?

[TrueHeart]

1. Dealing with authority figures
2. Seeing people with very happy and functional families
3. People in my family trying to reach out to me and show that they care. big one
4. People who are superstitious or into new age stuff (causes me to be exceedingly logical)
5. Feeling alone/cut off from the word. physically being alone doesn't bother me, so long as I have some social contact
6. Mental hospitals
7. Small houses, not necessarily small rooms, but the size of the house
8. When people talk about how much they love their mothers/how wonderful their maternal relationship is

[Open Eyes]

Oh yes, I could pretty much put the same things down that have already been written.

I am at the point where I have gotten beyond totally shutting down and avoiding certain people that I could not even be around at all. What is often hard for me is when, for example I am talking with my sister, whom i could not even interact with at all for a while, and I can now observe what always "subconsciously" upset me or how I worked around things in my past that I was not consciously aware of.

I can sit and talk to my sister and listen to her go on and on about "her problems" and I was always good at that. And then when I begin to talk about how "I" am struggling, she makes me instantly remember how "I am not supposed to do that because that is her signal to exit the conversation".

The conscensus has always been, "I want you to listen to me, agree with me, feel sorry for me and take on some of the responsiblity for my pain" BUT "you are not allowed to put "your pain" or "problems" into the conversation because "we do not want to hear your problems".

What is hard for me is that when I do see that happening, I remember that the reason I didn't ask for help or tell about how my brother was hurting me, is that I somehow knew back then that "I would not be heard, and if I tried and was not heard my brother might hurt me even more". But I also felt that if I told that it would upset the family too much and there was already too much trouble for my mother going on and I didn't want things to be even harder for her.

Even with my husband, I either have to stay quiet and try to work through my pain in my thinking. Or, I try to talk about the things that hurt me and he gets depressed and then I feel guilty that I didn't hold onto my pain so he could function better.

So basically I am often challenged with this ongoing feeling that I am supposed to stay quiet and just find a way to "give" without putting myself into the mix of the conversation.

Often the message I have gotten is "everything is fine for us as long as you make sure you don't put any "I"'s in whatever you say.

Sure enough, I can call my sister and she will talk for almost two hours, and if I want to end the conversation, all I have to do is start a sentence with "I".

Open Eyes

[Big Mama]

Open, I do understand what you are going threw there w/ the "I's". As long as there is no
mention of "I" all is good. I don't talk about myself to much, no one really cares about the likes of me anyway. I am almost nonexistant anyway. I feel guilty for mentioning myself or what I think. I have been told for so long that it is irrelevent. I just co exist w/ people and lift them up. It is the only way to lift me up and make me happy. It really does make me happy to help and give, to be availiable and to listen. It makes me feel better to know I am good for something.

[Sigster66]

I get triggered in bigs crowds like a mall
When my wife gives me the silent treatment when it's obvious she is pissed
When people like my wife who claim to love me unconditionally get mad at me or treat me poorly over insignificant disputes. I already have a hard time trusting and I get triggered when they are willing to argue and throw the future of our relationship in my face over day to day disagreements.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Big Mama]

Sig my H does the same thing as your wife then. It drives me crazy. How can you say I love you in one sentence and so something so totally unloving the next, get angry and play silent treatment. The silent treatment is an in your face attack that says you are not worth me even talking to. I get that to much. I know I should enjoy the fact that my H is not spouting off bull c*** and be happy he's quiet but for some dumb reason I'm not.

Who's next, what triggers you?

I want to participate and share my triggers, but I am afraid I will get triggered!

[firefighter369]

my triggers are
1,seeung a burnt body
2,being next to a tractor trailer
3,getting on the high way where the man burned to death

[skeksi]

My big ones:

1. Anger (in others or in myself, expressed or silent seething)
2. Men
3. Crowds
4. Doors slamming
5. Footsteps on stairs
6. The sounds of fixing dinner

[OutofTune]

Yelling, loud noises, being touched, the words "fat" and "stupid", and public places.

[Big Mama]

Outoftune I hate it when someone says something about fat. My H says lots of rude things about some large folks wk know. I am larger then them for the most part. He calls them all kind of ugly names. If he thinks that about others then what does he think of me.

I tell my H it is not a choice. Kids say I want to be a fire fighter when I frow up, or I want to be a singer. So one says I want to be "Fat". It is not a goal or choice. It is something you get and deal with the best you can. Just like mental illness. No one says I want to be bipolar when I grow up. It finds you and you deal with it the best you can.

[lostgman]

Fireworks
Loud unexpected noises
Night time thunderstorms
Blood
Feeling overwhelmed
Feeling a loss of control
The news
Certain smells
Seeing a man harass a woman....that has been an anger trigger for as long as I can remember.
Don't hate me for this one...not being racist...but men of Arab decent.

I can deal with most of these now....but from time to time some of them do catch me off guard.

[Big Mama]

Blood, yikes. Still working on that one. Anything that resembles blood. Red marker , paint, or blood. At least I don't pass out at the sight of it anymore.

Night time thunderstorms is one of mine to.

- Darkness is one I forgot.
I slept w/ a night light the first 2 years we lived in our new house. I slept w/ one every night in our old house.

-wind chimes- thhey are not relaxing they freak me out.

Being ignored
Being misunderstood...when people think they "get it" but in actuality don't have a clue
Like others already said: crowds, loud noises, feeling trapped, yelling...

attractive women who look like my mommy. they make me cry, and i feel ashamed and scared amongst other triggers.

[gary290]

memories of dad

I can think of one big thing right now but I cannot write about it because it triggered me so much, I locked myself in the bathroom for 20 minutes, and when I cooled off a bit, went straight to Goggle to try to understand why someone would say such a effing effed up thing. Based on my vocabulary, I am still upset and angry. All I can think is WTF??!!!!

Sorry. Thanks for letting me vent

[Big Mama]

can I help or listen or anything Rose

[optimize990h]

anything related to work, anything to do with sex

[Big Mama]

sex, that will trigger me in an instant.

I am sorry I disappeared like that after posting. I had to step away from the computer because I was so upset. Thank you for reaching out...

[Nelliecat]

Sex, hearing people eat and being physically trapped - like when H thinks it's funny to pin me down. Not good.