Is Zoning Out Part of PTSD??

I've not been properly diagnosed with ptsd, but I do have many of the symptoms that didn't start til after our fire 6 months ago. Something new has happened to me twice now lately in that I've noticed people have talked to me and it's like I didn't even hear it. The other day I was visiting my parents and my son was beside me talking about something, and a few minutes later my mom asked what he said. I couldn't tell her. It was like I didn't hear a thing he said - almost like it hadn't happened. I didn't know what to say. And last night my husband was telling me something about taking his lunch to work today or other, and when I went to the kitchen a few minutes later I asked him what the bag was for on the table. He had just told me. I hadn't heard a thing he had said though I was sitting there listening. It was like I had just zoned out or something.

Also, since I'm still learning about all this, I was wondering what the difference is between a flashback and a memory. I remember everything about my experience so clearly. Everything that happened right before, even days before. I remember so many things so clearly, and I seem to go over everything in my head a lot. I replay it often. I suppose these are memories. But something sometimes will trigger a memory all of a sudden that will make me feel very sad or make me cry. Like my new cat was sitting on top of the couch, and I suddenly saw in my head my cat James that had done that right before the fire. Saw it in my head perfectly almost like being there again. Shortly before the fire he had hopped up there to sit with me. He's one of 2 that have been missing since the fire - the others died. And I just felt my stomach drop. Things like this happen to me occasionally. Would that be a flashback?? Or just a random pop-up memory??

hmmm~ we don't call it zoning. In my house we call it blocking out and it seems pretty normal to us. Many times someone will be talking to me and I catch the last bit and will ask them to repeat or I just apologize because I wasn't listening. I don't know if it is part of PTSD or not but I believe my children would have trained me to do this even if I had a perfect life.

Zoning out can be part of anxiety, and anxiety is one part of PTSD. As far as I know, it is not in itself a symptom.

It can also be part of depression and ADHD. Or even just being spread too thin and stressed. So there are lots of things that can cause it.

A flash back is a memory that is so vivid that it feels as if the trauma is happening again. It can also be experiencing physical sensations that bring you back to the trauma. For example, as a survivor of rape I once experienced a very real flashback as a result of being held down. I couldn't see the memory in my mind like I have with some flashbacks, but my physical response of panic was just as if I was experiencing the original trauma.

Some people will even have phantom smells when a flashback happens.

A memory that results in psychic pain is not always PTSD. It is definitely something that someone with PTSD may experience, but it is not by itself an indicator.

If you think PTSD, or even simply trauma that causes you pain, you should see someone about it. Getting a proper diagnosis is the only way to really know what will best help you feel better.

Never mind~ I withdraw the question.

Thanks everyone. I'm definitely suffering a lot of anxiety that is getting worse to where I'm obsessing and panicking over bills and hating to be left alone now. It seems so many symptoms overlap for various disorders. I know I'm grieving, and with that comes depression, which I have, too. Maybe I'm not having flashbacks but just memories. It's strange that I don't think on the fire itself too much but the things that went on before it - before everything changed. It was 5 days after Thanksgiving, and I can recall the leftovers still in the fridge and stuff like that. I can tell you everything that happened in those 5 days and when. I go over them all the time. I feel no anger which I know can be a symptom of ptsd. Just seem to be struggling with the after effects and trying to carry on but is really hard.

(((birdpumkin))),

Even without a PTSD diagnosis, you have been involved in a complete change in your environment and daily routine with that environment. Your subconscious mind is much like a blind man with a cane that gets so used to the environment that much of that environment is memorized where the blind person can function in that environment without actually seeing it. That is the same as learning how to tie our shoes where at first we need to pay attention to every step as we tie our shoes and eventually without even realizing it we can tie our shoes and not even have to pay attention to it because our subconscious mind learned how to do it automatically, we developed a set pathway in the brain where we just know how to do it.

Well, you are still totally adjusting to your new environment, and while it is nice, your subconscious mind is still looking for that old environment that was just there and automatic for you. Well, you are distracted right now "still" with adjusting to the new environment so that is why you are often not paying attention to some of the other things going on around you as you used to.

I have addressed this even with my ponies when I move them to a new paddock. They get distracted for a while and even don't pay attention to me and that is simply because I put them in a new place where they have not yet developed that deep sense of just knowing how to feel safe in their new place.

When you're "zoning out" you're dissociating and it is very common with PTSD. It happens to me when I'm very stressed or overwhelmed. A memory is something you are fully conscious of. Thinking about the incident all the time is called ruminating. A flashback is from the subconscious and comes on unexpected, usually as an image flashing into your consciousness. It can also feel like the incident is happening to you again. All the physical feelings, emotions, etc. can come up like they did at the time. Flashbacks can be triggered by anything similar to the incident, like you seeing your cat James, and can bring up strong emotions. I had a really bad flashback about when a man I was seeing tried to choke me to death years ago. My husband put his hands playfully around my dog's neck and I lost it.

I find that to be one of the worse things, when someone does something that ever so slightly reminds you of the trauma and then at least I might randomly yell at them or something before I get a grip and realize 'oh wait that's my brother' then of course they wonder 'what the hell is her problem because they don't understand it.' I guess I'd feel kind of hurt if someone suddenly snapped at me even if they were triggered so that is somewhat understandable.

((birdpumkin)),

Well, even though everything I posted is true, you actually did also suffer a traumatic loss. I am sure you are struggling to process that and deal with the "I can't believe that happened" taking place too. It would make sense that you are remembering the days before the loss too as it went from being "normal" to all of that being suddenly destroyed. Plus you are the woman of the house so the old environment to "you" had a much deeper meaning as you had put so much of yourself in that environment and lets face it, that was
all destroyed and you had no control what so ever in that event.

Honestly, this is why "trauma" therapy is important because you need help with processing all this, and you need to be able to discuss all the ways it is affecting you and be validated and comforted with every feeling you have. I am also sure you are back tracking to whatever caused the fire and thinking about how you could have noticed something that could have prevented it. I did that constantly myself and I struggled with guilt and anger and remorse all at once and it just overwhelmed me.

Are you seeing a therapist now? You may question if that will be helpful as it wont change the outcome, however, you need to have a presence that you can talk about it as much as you need to. As you get validated and comforted while you run through the way you are thinking and feeling, it will really help you finally get to a point where you accept it on all the different levels you have been expressing here so you can finally get to a point where you have been able to grieve it enough and move forward.

(((Hugs))
OE

Open Eyes - everything you said makes so much sense. We put a double wide at the same location, but we had to fill in the basement of our other house after it was demolished and just so much dirt outside now rather than just a pretty yard with grass like it used to be. That whole ordeal was about 2 months of very difficult stress in itself - after waiting on the snow to clear out... It looks like a nuclear blast laid waste to it or something. At the time of the fire I'd been here for 10 years, so can see how now, even though we're at the same place, my brain is trying to adjust to everything. I'm remembering our other house, and this new house just doesn't feel like home yet. We have very little furniture and can't afford any right now. It's all so different. Our car is what caused the fire. My husband had just returned from a work call, had parked close to the garage door when he returned, and he probably hadn't been home 10 minutes when we saw an orange glow outside our living room window. It was the car on fire under the hood, and it caught the garage door, which was attached to the house, on fire and just spread from there. I had just gotten out of the bathtub and washed my hair. I got out with the clothes on my back, which was my pajamas and some slippers. We all got out okay early on, but the neighbor led me away and wouldn't let me back inside despite my telling him twice I had 10 cats inside. I know he was concerned for my safety, but at first he couldn't get me to budge. I had put my birds outside and was on my way back in. He said it was like I was frozen, and I know that was because I wanted to go back in and try to save my kitties somehow but knowing I needed to get out and go with him, too. When I went with him I just started panicking. So it was quite traumatic for me - to lose everything, but especially my precious cats. I'm not seeing a therapist because we don't have any insurance but would love help of some kind. I have no family support - they just don't understand and think things are okay and we're carrying on in a new place and things are fine now. My husband says I'm getting weird or crazy. He doesn't give me any comfort at all. It's been really hard. I don't have anyone at all to talk about any of this to.

Skywhite - it does sound like maybe I'm having flashbacks then. The pictures just will pop up out of the blue whenever something reminds me of something at home. I don't really think about the incident itself much, I don't know if my mind is trying to block it out. I remember it quite well, but it just doesn't come up much for me. I tend to focus on the days right before when I was so happy and everything was okay.

My heart really goes out to you Birdpumkin. You have been through a tremendous ordeal. You've lost your home plus you have to grieve the loss of your beloved pets. How can your family be so insensitive?

You need support at least from your husband. Can you sit him down and explain that you're having difficulty processing everything, and that your reaction is going to be different then his. Try to get him to understand. I would hate to think you'd have to go through this all alone. Maybe he's really bothered too (how could he not be) and doesn't know how to open up a conversation about it.

My husband doesn't understand squat about what I'm going through, but he knows enough to not call me weird or crazy and invalidate my feelings. That is very insensitive.

((birdpumkin)),

Everything you described is traumatic and deserves to be validated. Your husband just was not emotionally attached like you were. Well, that can happen and I am sorry that he is not understanding the emotional distress you suffered because you could not go back and rescue those cats that were really important to you.

Trauma work is all about allowing the person to vent out the emotions that they have about a trauma, and then recognize the relief that takes place after they get to vent their emotions, verses thinking they need to keep all that emotion pent up. If you really got to be allowed to vent that trapped emotion you would begin to see how after you do that you gain such a sense of relief and can talk about it in a much calmer way.

If you have a husband that doesn't understand that and instead wants you to hold it in or reacts poorly to your need to vent, then that is only going to aggravate your challenge whether it is PTSD or not.

The one thing you "can" be grateful for is that your husband was not in that vehicle when that took place, some of those fires are very quick to ignite and in-golf to where a person literally has no time to escape to safety.

Two weeks ago I was on my way to work an event and I saw a truck where the cab was completely en-golfed in flames and that must have been what happened there too. I do not know if that driver escaped either, but it was a scary thing to drive pass and be so close to it as I drove past it.

At least you have PC where you can talk about it, but maybe you can talk to the fire department and see if they know of anyone that you can talk to that can help you when you need it. I know what it is like to have no insurance or money so I could get help, all the damage my neighbor's dog caused created such a huge financial mess for me and my husband where we had to go without help when my family should have had grief counseling. My husband crashed a couple of months after I broke and he would not get out of bed for over a month and luckily I had managed to get one horse sound enough to sell so I could pay our bills praying that he would recover so he could function again. I knew he needed to shut down, but I had no real help when that happened.

Of course, you can always come and vent here too, and the members will be supportive and understanding as best as we can.

((Gentle Understanding Hugs))))
OE

Thanks Teacake. I've seen you mention that elsewhere and have been looking for more info on Google. I'm interested in trying it. It's worth a try if it'll help...

Thanks also Skywhite and Open Eyes. About my husband, I don't know. He's always been kind of hardened in that way. I sometimes wonder if anything ever bothers him at all. Maybe it does somehow. I just get platitudes from my family, though my mom knows of someone that works at a therapy place and is going to talk to him about me when she can. She's recovering from surgery right now but hope to soon. I'm hoping so much something will work out. I'd love help if I could get it, and I do think talking to someone who would actually listen to me would help a whole lot. Just so many thoughts and feelings I have. Yes, thankfully he wasn't in the car when it happened. I can't imagine. I have no idea if it was in the process of starting when he was driving home or if it began after he turned the car off. When we first saw it it hadn't yet spread to the garage and was just coming up a bit from under the hood, but it quickly grew. He used the towel I had on my head because I had just washed my hair to try to beat it out, but nothing seemed to stop it. We've heard maybe there was a hole in the fuel line or something so gas might've been coming out and feeding it. The car was a total loss, too. Thanks for the suggestions, and I'm sorry about all you went through, too, Open Eyes. I can't imagine having to deal with that alone while your husband was so depressed. I get nervous just when mine oversleeps!! That had to be so hard. I'm sure it was hard having to sell one of your horses, too. Yeah, PC has been a great help. I finally feel that I'm not alone in my struggles by seeing what other people are going through, too. It feels that in a way we're all in this together.

Oh, BirdPumpkin, I am so sorry to hear about your losses! It's not crazy to feel bereft about your pets - they are such a wonderful source of unconditional love and support. I believe it is appropriate to mourn their loss, and to talk about the incident and be heard.

I read a little further down the posts, you are really holding up well with all you have going on. So glad you posted here - hope it is helping!

Just wanted to say, yeah the distraction/dissociation is part of it (at least p/my own experience - the "checking out", sometimes not even at will, happens). I think I read it's the bodies way of controlling stress/kind of "cotton wooling" your psyche because it is still in a state of anxiety.

Confirm that flashbacks suck - your incident seems fairly recent (6 months, correct?). Please know that over time, in my experience, they have diminished. May still pop up, but with lesser frequency. Therapy, meds, and support of family or forums, such as this one, have been very helpful.

Please take care! Wishing the best for you, and

Thanks Bolivar83. Yes, it's been 6 months since this has happened - 7 months July 3rd... Thanks for saying I'm holding up really well. Sometimes I feel like I'm about to go crazy!! Like inside I just want to scream and thrash about. I really don't know what's kept me going. I just get out of bed and get dressed and try. If I stay in bed I just think of things and get upset or anxious. Most days don't go by without a cry or 2. I've just had those 2 episodes of dissociation so far, but they threw me off. They weren't at will. It wasn't like I was sitting there daydreaming or anything. At least now I know it's a part of it and understand what's happening.

When you have these disturbances journal them, it is a way of putting a distance to them along with the emotions trapped with them out of your mind and onto paper. Many people talk about how journal-ling helps a lot.

Thanks - I do journal but not as much as I'd like. I do find it helps a bit to clear out the mind - kind of just write about all that is on my mind, my feelings, etc. Kind of sorts out and untangles everything going on up there.

zoning out can be normal in some people or it can be part of any mental or physical health problem....

general examples...boredom is a normal thing that causes a person to zone out (space out,...) people with ADHD/ADD have trouble concentrating and zoning out, as does people with bipolar, borderline personality disorder, depression, addictions, drug or alcohol reactions, medication reactions, ....

I zone out when I am under stress, its also part of my bipolar disorder, my anxiety disorders, my depression disorders, my PTSD, my Multiple Sclerosis and many other problems too with in me cause me to zone out /space out.

we can not tell you whether this is part of your problems, normal or part of PTSD with in you. only your treatment providers can do that...

my suggestion if this continues to bother you contact your treatment providers, they can assess your mental and physical health and then tell you whether this is normal or part of your mental or physical health problems.

It happens very often to me, but I don't know if that's part of PTSD, DID or BPD. I guess dissociation is obvious since I already have a dissociative disorder, but it can be aggravated by other disorders linked to it.