[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I hardly have any friends. Most of my friends are online. People always ask me why I'm sad. Sometimes I get sad because I wish people cared about me or wish that somebody cared.

I'm always alone and I'm alone because I fear that I'll get hurt again. People always seem to hurt me or take advantage of me. I want to be around people so badly and I enjoy being around people. Sometimes I look at other people having a good time and I feel sad. Than I think inside my head nobody would want to be around me because I look sad.

When I truly need someone, nobody is there for me. People always come to me though with their problems and I'm always there for them and give them comfort and make them feel better. Than I won't hear from them for awhile.

So tired of being taken advantage of and walked on. Do speak my mind once in awhile and let others know that I'm hurt. Other times I keep it bottled inside because I don't want people to be mad at me if I come across as mean. I'm angry for people taking advantage of me and anything I say comes across as harsh because I'm hurt inside by how many people hurt me, abused me, manipulated me, lied to me and took advantage of me. Wish that this hurt would go away and I'm trying to work on it.

Right now I'm feeling really sad and I feel so alone.

[Open Eyes]

(((Amethyst_Stargazer))),

I think you will find that a lot of the other members struggling in this forum can relate to feeling this.

What can help with this feeling is finally taking the time to trace the origins of this challenge in self. This requires working with a therapist who understands the importance of this process and knows how to "listen" and work with you as you slowly identify your own history that contributed to this feeling of loneliness and hurt you struggle with. The goal in therapy is working towards a point where you realize what is "not your fault" and have a chance to grieve whatever you did not get in your past while the therapist validates that with you. This challenge is present in each individual who is struggling where they do need help finally not only understanding that but to also work on finding ways the help themselves morn whatever was "lost" to them on a deep personal level, and finally come to making peace with it so they can move forward in their life.

It sounds to me like you have a kind heart and that has been taken advantage of, that is something I have seen several individuals struggling with in this forum. That can also be part of what contributes to the desire to avoid and withdraw. When it comes to human beings, truth is we are all unique and some human beings are more sensitive than others. Sensitivity is not necessarily a bad thing either it can be an advantage when it comes to being good at interacting in certain areas of humanity. The fact that you put forth an effort to care about others can mean you would be good at specializing in therapy work or being a teacher or caregiver or social service. Unfortunately, that can turn into what you have described experiencing where you make an effort and find yourself disappointed because you fail to get that not only respected but given back to you. Often what happens with a sensitive is they do get taken advantage of and they don't get a chance to learn how to be assertive and can end up instead becoming passive aggressive. This can become a challenge during development when a child has to contend with the narcissism that is common in developing children and young adults.

Are you working with a therapist right now?

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by Amethyst_Stargazer

I hardly have any friends. Most of my friends are online. People always ask me why I'm sad. Sometimes I get sad because I wish people cared about me or wish that somebody cared.

I'm always alone and I'm alone because I fear that I'll get hurt again. People always seem to hurt me or take advantage of me. I want to be around people so badly and I enjoy being around people. Sometimes I look at other people having a good time and I feel sad. Than I think inside my head nobody would want to be around me because I look sad.

When I truly need someone, nobody is there for me. People always come to me though with their problems and I'm always there for them and give them comfort and make them feel better. Than I won't hear from them for awhile.

So tired of being taken advantage of and walked on. Do speak my mind once in awhile and let others know that I'm hurt. Other times I keep it bottled inside because I don't want people to be mad at me if I come across as mean. I'm angry for people taking advantage of me and anything I say comes across as harsh because I'm hurt inside by how many people hurt me, abused me, manipulated me, lied to me and took advantage of me. Wish that this hurt would go away and I'm trying to work on it.

Right now I'm feeling really sad and I feel so alone.

Open Eyes gave you some good advice on ways to approach this. I agree that working with a therapist may help you identify why this continues to happen to you. You sound like a very caring person and sometimes we can be taken advantage of for being so caring. The trouble with helping others is sometimes we take on their troubles and it compounds our own things we are dealing with. So setting some boundaries with the people, in a nice way may help. Redirect them to other sources to help themselves. Sometimes having them work out their own problems helps them learn new skills to solve their problems, so in a way it's helping them to not answer all their problems they present to you. It's hard to say no sometimes. But you have to look after yourself and do what's best for you and they need to do the same. Maybe they are not aware of how this hurts you. Have you talked it over with them? Have you asked "why are you always coming to me with your problems to help you out and then I don't hear from you till the next problem" "Can we chat sometimes without discussing problems?" This may be a little too strong but you get what I'm saying here. You have to let them know how you are feeling. That you care about them but you want to be more to them than just an advisor. Best wishes with this and we are always here to talk with you, remember that

[HD7970GHZ]

Hi Amethyst_Stargazer,

I am unable to post a lengthy reply right now but I just wanted to say that you are not alone in how you feel, in fact, I am happy to have stumbled on your thread because I am feeling the same way!

I will respond when I am at my computer.

The world seems dark when we get hurt, but trust me - it can change! When you can be more assertive - you will stop attracting those types of humans who manipulate and take advantagr of you. You have a ton of self-awareness and clearly you are intuitive: which means you probably can detect those types of people before they hurt you. Sometimes we sensitive types fail to remember to utilize that skill - and it is a skill. Sometimes we believe that being assertive is wrong, saying no is wrong - but if you try it you will begin to push the unhealthy people away and attract the healthier ones and thus, begin to change the filter through which you interpret the world... Just remember - you view the world based on your personal experience. You are valid in feeling and thinking the way you do... But it doesnt have to be that way and it can change.

I am in a similar struggle right now - trying to change my brain after ptsd. Lost faith in humanity. We can gain it back - but we do need to work on ourselves too. We cannot change others, we can only change ourself.

I will respond again soon,

Thanks,
Hd7970ghz

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I'm going to therapy soon and my doctor to tell him about the medications that I'm on. I've been wanting to see my therapist for awhile now. For some reason they won't take my insurance where I live now and I have no idea why. So I'm keeping the same doctors and visit where I used to live and visit for the day to see both doctors. They both very helpful and I've done a lot of healing from what I've been through. Sometimes I get really bad and other times I'm actually feel pretty happy. I've always been a rather emotional and sensitive person and PTSD I think heightened it. So I'm starting to think that maybe I should meditate sometimes when I'm overly stressed out or upset. Anytime I'm sad I tend to think very very negative and pessimistic.

I'm also diagnosed with bipolar too and I've known I had it since I was 19 years old when I got hospitalized for the first time. As for my view on the world: yes I think it's very dark and sometimes I think people are very cruel towards one another and it makes me depressed. Anytime I meet a toxic person, I sometimes remind myself that it's nothing I did and that it's not my fault why they're like the way they are.

Very friendly towards people and nice. When people do a nice gesture towards me, I always thank them and do something for them in return because I'm a caring person by nature. Lots of people took advantage of me because I'm really nice and sometimes it's very hard for me to say "No" because I hate coming across as mean. Then when I do speak my mind and people get upset, I feel horrible. I never come across as assertive unless I feel the need is necessarily. It's not my intention to hurt anyone. Not perfect and I know I've made mistakes in my past. Not proud of them either. Thanks for you're replies everyone. I appreciate it a lot. I'm glad that there's people out there who truly understands.

Today I felt a bit depressed today and slept most of the day. I felt lazy and didn't want to get out of bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for me.

[BLUEDOVE]

Please remember the word 'unacceptable',as in "No,I find
that unacceptable",or "Sorry,I don't accept that" or "That's
not acceptable to me". And look for book on Self-Assertion,
you're worth it.

I am so sorry. I have family and friends who I love and love me back, who are there when I need them and give me space when I can't be around anyone.....but yet I still totally relate to all you've written. People are always cruel to me and when I'm brave enough to call them on it, they deny it or blame me. I really feel the world is 70% sociopaths who dont have adequate or any empathy or compassion. They abuse people, laugh and feel justified. They think people like us are too sensitive when in fact, they are sick and should be kept out of the major populous. Put them in a zoo, behind bars so they don't effect the more evolved species.

[Spiderlegs]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

I really feel the world is 70% sociopaths who dont have adequate or any empathy or compassion. They abuse people, laugh and feel justified. They think people like us are too sensitive when in fact, they are sick and should be kept out of the major populous. Put them in a zoo, behind bars so they don't effect the more evolved species.

Amen, Elsa Mars. I'm dealing with the termination of a long distance 'situation', wasn't even a relationship. In 3 months time, he managed to eek out a total of 15 hours that we spent together, but wanted me to be 'exclusive' to him. He thinks that is a normal, loving relationship...I finally had to tell him if he wanted to spend time with me, he'd make the time. He was so unhappy and sad, but not willing to wake up. People don't change, especially sociopaths. Worst of this one, he uses God to excuse everything that he avoids facing.
They fool us by walking up right and are often charming and very seductive.
Yesterday I had a flashback...out on a date and the new guy says a phrase that the other one used a lot. It hit me out of nowhere and took all I had to hold back the tears. How's that for a first impression??? LOL Frankly, I'm getting bored with all of 'em.
Spider

When it comes to toxic people, I'm all about termination.....it's sometimes the only safe choice. Stay strong and don't let them win. There are nice ones out there, but if your heart, mind and gut tell you something's wrong, my experience demonstrates you should follow it. Better safe than sorry at the very least. What did the guy say that the other used to? That must have really unsettled you! I have certain phrases I watch for and don't trust too. (((Hugs)))