PTSD is through the roof!

Like lambs to slaughter is how this latest trigger is making me feel.

I so hope that innocent people I care about do not go down that primrose path.

Sorry this doesn't make sense. It will to a few.

Too many moods in too short a time to safely manage. Shutting down.

Years of trying to get better and wham a trigger and I go into hyper-coma-coping sleep.

zen, lots of safe ground and warmth to you. sleep as you need and share as you can. Sorry for the pain.

Your response is healing and softens this pain for a wee time.

I greatly apprecite it wisewoman.

In getting away from the computer I stir fryed up some grub and will sit on the davenport with the dog and eat my dinner. I want to sleep so badly right now and need to stay awake until a reasonable hour or else my nightime sleep gets so messed up.

Your thoughts are very kind. Thank you.

*hugs* ONLY if you'd like them

so sorry you're going through this. being triggered is so hard. sometimes that coping sleep just HAS to happen! i sure hope you can get enough of it tonight.

i had this in my signature for a while, but i put this cute little pic by Kimberly (ktp) there instead. but i was just thinking you might like this song. here are the lyrics:

"deep peace of the running wave to you.
deep peace of the flowing air to you.
deep peace of the gentle night to you.
moon and stars pour their healing light on you."
(Traditional Gaelic Blessing)

wishing for healing sleep and lots of comfort for you...

Angela

And the triggered state goes from sleeping as coping to no sleep from fear. Oh joy!

Thanks you for the hugs and the comforting healing sleep thoughts.

I can always use any kin d of blessing and I appreciate the one you posted. Thanks Angela.

four replies to orig post and last post was "11/16/04 04:11 pm by" hmmm...we know we're the anonymous poster in this one as we had a previous account deleted at our request back in 2005.

bringing this thread back up as today we faced scary demon of PTSD by going into small claims ourselves and dealing with the whole rigamarole. the continuence was granted so hopefully the PTSD hurdles/triggers that have kept us from adequately dealing with the accident of Nov. 2004 can now be faced one by one.

it hasn't been easy attempting to work with insurance companies who claimed to have extensive training in PTSD only to contradict themselves in the same conversation.

we kept having to bring our PTSD issues and disabilities (other dxs as well) into focus for them by explaining how they would never ask a person in a wheelchair to "just deal" with a staired bldg that lacked a ramp......their telling me to "just call" was akin to the accessibility issue for wheelchairs.

we process information differently than we used to prior to the massive traumas we have lived through. the two car accidents in one year majorally exacerbated our conditions.

we're only now feeling some emergence from this hellish process. we've not even kept up with medical treatment due to financial constraints.

finally there is a chance that this will be resolved properly and w/o much further stressors to our system.

never thought we'd get to this day NOR did we think we'd be able to get THROUGH it.............we did both!

kudos for us!

p.s. original post was about different issue but the timing of our first post was days prior to accident so we wonder if we didn't revisit this on the 16th of '04.......meh....neither here nor there now!

_zh --

Good for you-- you did it-- faced that "demon"!

I'm sorry the insurance companies we're contradicting and insensitive that can make things so much harder to deal with.

My hope for you is that you can catch up with your medical treatments real soon and that the resolution is done properly without taxing you any further. **fingers crossed**

Yes, KUDOS to you!! .....

mandy

WOW that is so great to hear! I know things aren't all smooth now nor will they ever/always be...but this is good stuff for you.

Yes, I hear ya... my attorney claims to know all about PTSD yet she failed to even bring it up with the pre hearing deposition of my MD!!!!! 'nuff said.

ty for recognizing what an accomplishment today was for us.

hope you are on the continued mend mandyfins

ty for kudos. maybe this wouldn't be such a mountain for others (think molehill) but for us this was the mt. everest of our lives (for now anyway)......and we are grateful to those who really understand how hard, challenging, difficult, scary, etc. all this was/is for us.

ty mandyfins. we have more faith that things can work out more positively than we did before....hard to shake the mindset that goes along with the triggered PTSD ways of thinking. takes years....decades! but dang nabbit we're proof that change can happen with hard work.

ty _Sky. we know you're very busy lately with all that is ado down your way and with your loss and the new pup.......that's A LOT OF STUFF lady!

we know you KNOW these types of things so we're very grateful for your popping in to say good job.

the lack of understanding we face is appalling but we forge through as we learned a long time ago that curling up into a ball wasn't the most effective strategy........despite the appeal!

thanks for showing up and really getting what this thread is about. the challenges faced by those of us with PTSD and the small victories we can help one another celebrate as we all know how hard these things can be.

wow! excellent follow-up post! good insight and good work!

especially wow for the quote below . . .

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
__zh said:
we kept having to bring our PTSD issues and disabilities (other dxs as well) into focus for them by explaining how they would never ask a person in a wheelchair to "just deal" with a staired bldg that lacked a ramp......their telling me to "just call" was akin to the accessibility issue for wheelchairs.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

may i use a part of that quote in my blog???

thank you thank you thank you and yes....you certainly may use our words FREELY in your blog as your focus on the issues can help bring more understanding to what those of us who live with PTSD deal with on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and sometimes lifelong basis.

yes, go ahead, please! we're just feeling so dang relieved that we survived yesterday! it ain't ovah......but we sure passed a major hurdle......and knowing that this group here "GETS IT" with regard to our fears, hesitations, and so on......that means the world to us.........we're all warm and good feeling inside from the replies from our fellow travelers...all of us on our healing journeys.

thx jennie

I'm doing some better, thanks.

I've decided to and have written my attorney a request that she contact my T so that the three of us can meet and discuss my PTSD and NEEDS that she has evidence of but seems to have failed to advocate for me (she can't figure out the mental and physical connections )

TC

argh! beancounters and bureaucratic inbreds who make the formulary choices for insurance plans need to be tied up and beaten with organic carrots!
(a sign in an Las Vegas natural food store: shoplifters will be hung upside down and beaten with organic carrots)

the feelings of being re-victimized crop up when least expected sometimes. going through this intolerable med change---WHICH WASN'T EVEN MEDICALLY CALLED FOR---has pushed life back a few weeks to months. life isn't easy but sometimes it can feel as if it is working bit by tiny bit.......and then whammo!

PTSD is waiting for that whammo to come, expecting that whammo in situations where no whammo would or could or should be.

riding it out. dealing. managing. but unhappy, uncomfortable, and angry that this ever came to be.

I'm sorry my friend that things are so rough for you.

Look outside and see nature coming alive in this reborn of the new spring just at the corner. Feel the air getting warmer. Push that whammo thing out of your way and enjoy every bit that nature can give to you.

I will walk by your side all the way.

((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))

hypervigilance is a tough nut to crack. ((((feel safe))))

went from rain to spring all in a day!

the whammo thinking is hard to get rid of especially when the medications that were working were interrupted by this stupid insurance generic switcharoooney........went from dealing and having a hard time to flattened, sleeping, and had to clear the schedule as it was hard to function when asleep cancelled a bunch of appts as the inability to show up kinda hampers the help one could receive......sigh.

it is of assistance to know that friends are along side as we travel this journey. wish that no one understood as that means they too suffer with this beast called PTSD.

kindly and with gratitude for your companionship,
__zh

i am grateful to be able to be by your side on your journey.

the med thing is especially frustrating as it takes a lot to not succumb to feeling victimized and just throwing oneself down on the floor and having a hissy fit!!!!

i especially get upset when my med changes don't go well.

if i could, i'd hop the train that just went by, in the distance, and come on out and we'd fight this together. i'm on a slippery slope also but am clawing at it bit by bit......

love you, munchkins...........xoxoxox pat

((((hugs to all who struggle here))))

To Anonymous, This is powerful and awe some.It penetrated my soul. If your still out there please keep writing and sharing.Wow!
Smilie

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Smilie said:
To Anonymous, This is powerful and awe some.It penetrated my soul. If your still out there please keep writing and sharing.Wow!
Smilie

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> oh goodness thank you for those words. we're still here. had our old account deleted for personal reasons for a while and returned after some time away.

PTSD morphs and changes as stressors and memories ebb and flow. it certainly hasn't gone away but we've learrned such healthier ways of dealing w/ the flare ups than we used to use.

bit by bit
day by day
step by step
healing is hard work...and PTSD can be ongoing healing for some....

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:


</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> yep </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
bit by bit
day by day
step by step
healing is hard work...and PTSD can be ongoing healing for some....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> for some it will be their life's journey to heal as best they're able from PTSD

a lifetime of healing and keeping up w/ how the disorder changes due to changes in brain chemistry.......damaged neural pathways and remapping new pathways.....so much to learn, so much being discovered and so much yet to be discovered....