PTSD inho is not a mental illness

i dont really care how they call it...
better to focus on how to get better ..right?

> I don't think that a person is healed all the way if they are still using coping skills.

I don't know; maybe you have to continue to practice them forever; maybe there is no being healed all the way.

while im glad that people have really responded to my post I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Its my ability to concentrate and focus that has taken a back seat in my Illness if indeed that is what it is. Im glad that some of you guys can,I cant even concentrate enough to spell. It was supposed to be imho lol. AS in in my honest opinon.

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I also think I am sick and tired of professionals who study and write about this "disorder". They write from the safety of their life and experiences. These are abnormal reactions they say...treat them like this they say. UGGGGG. To them i say: Please dont treat me like I am a disease. Listen to me hear me and help me feel safe again. dont treat me like a child with a behavior problem. Dont judge me or talk down to me. Love me for the person I am and be a witness to my "trauma" help me put it in words. Help me learn that people are safe by showing me not telling me. I fought to stay alive and now i am fighting to live.

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What is unfortunate about PTSD is that is does limit our capacity (without therapy) to understand when people truly are helping. PTSD dictates that you go on the defensive, putting up blocks to being able to comprehend the difference between help and attack. That's where the trust comes in for the therapeutic relationship with your psychologist or therapist. A good T does model safe behavior and responses for you.

When you have that trust with someone who knows how to help, then you can begin to listen to them say those things over and over and over again, until you begin to hear them inside your head, even when T is nowhere around.

The coping aspect, well, yes it does go on forever so-to-speak. What therapy does, well what all therapy should have as a goal, is to help you learn how to respond (not react) to situations that would normally throw you for a loop. It is that constant "coping" ... the good response skills you learn.... that helps you cope with life, and not become bogged down repeatedly and needing therapy with the same issues your whole life.

Is there a cure for PTSD? Not yet. It may crop up at any point in your life, well after you think you have taken care of the beast! But by going back over the coping skills you will have learned through therapy, you will not suffer as severely nor as long with any such of it's head rearing!

TC

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MINIME said:
...I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Its my ability to concentrate and focus that has taken a back seat in my Illness if indeed that is what it is.

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Sorry about that! I suspected that my ramblings would not make sense unless you are already thinking along the same lines. But I think that learning to calm yourself and then start paying attention to "that still small voice" of your own thoughts and feelings, thoughts and feelings that have typically been suppressed for so long, may get you on the way to better being able to concentrate and focus on what is really important to you.

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pachyderm said:
maybe there is no being healed all the way.

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I healed all the way and I can see how I did it.

> I healed all the way and I can see how I did it.

Sure? Tell us about it!

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pachyderm said:
But I think that learning to calm yourself and then start paying attention to "that still small voice" of your own thoughts and feelings, thoughts and feelings that have typically been suppressed for so long, may get you on the way to better being able to concentrate and focus on what is really important to you.

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And this is one of the ways that I did recover!

Evidence of "complete" cure?

Details, please!

I used to be anxious. Now I am not. Previously I had a lot of trouble functioning in social situations. Now I do not. I used to have low self-esteem. Now it is healthy. I used to have weak personal boundaries. Now I can handle myself in any social situation. Previously I couldn't meet my needs. Now I do. I used to feel weak and powerless. Now I can stand up to anything. I used to hide my feelings. Now I express them when I need to. I used to be ashamed. Now I am not and I do not hide anything. This is all that I can think of now.

How did I do it? First you have to recognize what your issues are. I think that a lot of our issues come out when we interact with others. I would seek out situations which would trigger my issues. Identify the issues then on to analysis.

Find info from therapists, reading, others, etc. to help you understand the issue completely. Understand yourself completely and how you react and feel about this issue (this is under recognizing the problems too). Understand where the issue came from. I feel this is important because you can't change anything if you have a little message in your head that is driving your behavior. Of course these messages formed when we were children and we didn't have good mental capabilities when we were in our unresponsive environments (unresponsive to our needs). One of my examples was when I couldn't understand why I wouldn't meet my needs. Well, I discovered this little message that I believed that my mom would stop loving me if I did. She wasn't tending to my needs so I thought that I shouldn't either because children always want to please their parents. Once I uncovered this message and examined it and found it to be a child's thought and I threw it out.

No social skills - watch others and learn.

Low self-worth, where did it come from? For me I had a Narcissistic mother who didn't focus too much time on me. Message - If your own mother thinks that you are unworthy of her time you must be worthless. Of course I threw this thought out too.

Boundaries - learn that I can say no and set boundaries. I never knew that I could until my first therapist told me so. Same with empowerment. I never knew that I could be in control of me.

Shame - realized that healthy people aren't ashamed. Threw it out.

Feelings, began expressing them. First in therapy then to others when needed. Unloaded the cart of all my unexpressed feelings over the years.

You must live in the present and be aware of your surroundings and how you are reacting to them.

Now how I got rid of my anxiety for good. I would be in situations which would trigger anxiety. I would sit in the situation and tell myself that I am safe now and that I am only anxious because my feelings from the past are being triggered. I would tell myself that the past is over and I need to feel for today. Gradually my triggered anxiety would get less and less until it disappeared. Any new situations which would trigger anxiety I would do more self talk.

Relaxation exercises to relax my body (this was very early on). Once you get good at relaxing your body you can just tell yourself to relax and you can. You don't need to do the exercise anymore. I used to have knots in my back all the time. I haven't had a knot in my back in years. Clenched teeth during the day. Catch yourself and stop. Gradually the habit is gone. Shoulder sup to your ears. Catch yourself and put them back down. Eventually that reflex will be gone too.

Major self-awareness, education about the problems and focus and hard work.......

Will you marry me?

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pachyderm said:
Will you marry me?

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Of course!

u guys are goofy and of course since my post produced this marriage then of course the first baby will be named after me right?

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MINIME said:
u guys are goofy and of course since my post produced this marriage then of course the first baby will be named after me right?

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Of course!

You think our daughter wants to be named Minime? (You'll have to tell us in secret what your real name is.)

Now that I think of it, Minime isn't so bad...

Better than Pachyderma.

I think it's great that you have become who you are but what I'm reading above does not address all the PTSD encompasses. That isn't to say that if you have written even more you wouldn't have covered how you healed from the flashbacks, the body memories, the automaticity of the fight or flight response, the tendency to dissociate,the inability of the brain to properly store post-trauma memories, and such as the lack of trust of human beings in general.

Your statements above seem to be quite truthful and good, imo. Yes, to be mentally healthy, those are good things to hold to.

My real name is stephanie. So if its a boy then u can call him stephen. LOL. U guys still r goofy.

Would you say that we are crazy?

Thats so funny pach yeah I would say crazy but my kinda crazy. lol

i have been so sporadically on here that i haven't quite kept up with the thread... but i quickly skimmed through some of the replies.....

my take on coping skills.....

coping skills are to me much like learning larger words - or adding to your vocabulary. certain situations in life require pause to contemplate and figure out just how we are to express ourselves (for example vocabulary). sometimes just saying 'pretty' or 'ooohhhh' just doesn't do it anymore. coping skills are much like this.

there is a point in everyones life when coping skills are REQUIRED in order to make it. coping the death of a loved one for example teaches us the process of death and dying and how to cope with it. people who deal with this process on a regular basis (healthcare workers for example) cope with death in a much different way than a seamstress. its not the process thats flawed or the coping itself thats the problem - its all about exposure and the ability of the person to deal with it in a healthy way.

some people just don't have the ability to deal (or cope) with things the way others do. for example i am very handicapped when it comes to dealing with political environments and political situations. i have a tendancy to just call it how it is - not good in those situations. i realized that being in that environment isnt my forte and i dont go near it anymore for my own benefit. others however thrive in that environment and due to my lack of 'political savy' (or a$s kissing/pulling one over/covering up) i don't do well and honestly dont care to. others see that as a weakness - i however see it as a strength. but its all in how you look at it.

coping skills are a necessary part of dealing with life and there's nothing wrong with learning how to cope with a new environment in order to adjust. sometimes its not for everyone and individuals have to revert to a previous lifestyle in order to manage (hopefully reverting is not going from possibly good back to bad). sometimes reverting to a former environment is good if there is something we are suppossed to gain from it.

the point is that its all about being healthy in the end. coping is a strategy that helps us understand how to work and live in new situations. sooner or later coping just turns into living and we don't even realize we are 'coping' anymore - but are rather just living with a new set of parameters we made for ourselves in order to stay healthy. that to me is survivial of the fittest.

soliders for centuries have learned to cope rapidly to change and high stress environments. and while that might not be the example we are looking for - soon enough soldiers work rapidly from a coping state to an operational state the longer they are left in that environment (and many times they will support each other - for the organization to survive as a functional unit each person has to fulfill their duties or the moral and the function of the unit suffers as a whole)

Hi Sky, who is this addressed to?

It is settled then, Stephanie or Stephen.......

FWIW I once read that there was a vigorous debate in the listing of PTSD in the DSM about whether to make it an anxiety disorder or dissociative disorder…the former won out primarily because it was thought to be easier to get reimbursement from insurance companies.

I didnt like being told I was mentally ill - but I suppose looking just at the words - I dont know...... its hard isnt it.

I think of PTSD as lack of resilience (not sure if I spelt that right ) you have thing after thing happen and then you have a defining event and just run out of resilience - your coping mechanisms get stuck and you get PTSD - or one major event happens and the same thing - thats what it feels like to me JMO - P7

(((MINIME)))) you are a caring and compassionate person - from what I remember reading your mother was not - so you are not like your mum my dad had depression and I have depression from my PTSD - that does not make me like my dad - I will never be like him - but we both had the same problem - depression.

I dont know if im being clear here - I dont think anyone is angry here - I think its a good thing to discuss and thankyou for starting this thread - and as you said we can each offer our views and take away from it what we want and need to. In the end we are all here to help and support each other and to ask for help and support when we need it -

Words are just that - words - and a diagnoses is just a word - it may hurt or make us sad but its just a word and we cant change that - but we can change how we react to it - take care P7

ps can I get an invite to the wedding too - I promise I'll be good....maybe!