Hitting Rock Bottom

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deep Blue Sea I'm Falling Apart/Never had a boyfriend, Never Will Today is the worst day of my life. I've never had a boyfriend, I've been trying to find one for years since I've been in high school, but every time I see a guy I like I get rejected.. One day my office had to close down and our staff including myself had to be tranferred to a different office where I met this guy who's now my co-worker. We've been hitting it off and we started dating. We've been dating for 5yrs (5 wasted years..)and I thought something should soon happen between us, until one evening before New Years Eve he told me the most shocking news.. He told me he's gay. Now I'm so devastated.. He tried to call me the other day but I didn't answer the phone.. Now I want nothing more to do with him because he broke my heart. He should have told me something like this a long time ago. Now I have nobody.. My closest friends back stab me years ago, my family doesn't give a crap about me.. Now I feel I falling in a bottomless pit, HELP ME...

Yesterday morning my parents found out about this guy I went out with and told me they don't want him around anymore. Since then I've been banging myself against the walls, going into rages, cursing people out in public that irritated me. One day I yelled at my co-worker I went out with, I told him to bug off.. Since then he avoided me because he knew I was angry at him. Friday evening on my way home from work I was about to jump off the train platform, luckily I spotted a cop standing a few inches away so I backed off. I may soon have to go to the emergency room, I'm having a nervous breakdown and may succeed next time..

Deep Blue Sea,

Im sorry that happened to you - it must have been such a shock to hear he was gay, my brother was married for quite a few years before he realised he was gay - he just thought it was a problem with him not being able to connect to his wife - I'm not saying this to excuse the guy - I'm just saying that sometimes it takes people a while to realise these things - I know you are angry and upset but things can get better - if you are still feeling really bad please call someone - a T if you have one - or go to the emergency room if thats what you need to do.

Please take care of you P7

Im sorry things are so hard. Hang in there.

I'm in too much pain!!

DBS, it WILL get better. You need to hang in there and distract yourself.

I cannot even imagine going through that, so I can't say that I even remotely know how you feel, and I know this must be tough.

Even you said that you wasted 5 years on the guy. I really think that your parents are trying to protect you from any more hurt.

Its going to be more difficult because you work with this guy....

I honestly have to say that no person or situation is worth throwing yourself in front of a train for. No one.

I am so sorry you are hurting so badly...
Please keep posting and let us know how you are.
We Care

Cap

Deep Blue Sea,

I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad. I hope you are getting the support you need. The feeling of rejection, whether intentional or unintentional, hurts so-o-o bad. There are many people here who understand what you're going through. Move around on the site, get to know more people and post, post, post!

notz

Deep blue sea, talking about it can help, I hope you are ok, please let us know how you are going - P7

Deep Blue Sea,

That was a horrible shock for you and a rotten thing for him to do. He was not honest, he was a cheater to lead you on to where he never planned to take you. PHOOEY on him. Fink!!!!

Rejection is hideous. I do know from experience and I've had my heart broken in so many ways over my life time.

You deserve more than a suicide cop-out. I had years of abuse as a small child in all kinds of ways. I was programmed to suicide out. But, I am not going to do that. He was a jerk to you and should be mentally flogged!

Get some help to heal your life and keep looking for things to love about life. There is no way you should blow off your only life. There are so many more things that have possibilities.

Some people hurt me yesterday. They had made a kind of family bond with me and then abandoned the relationship in a busy time and it hit old wounds so deeply I wanted to self-injure or even worse. But, today I am dragging myself off the ash-heap and trying to regroup.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Don't do that. "The best revenge is a life well lived" - I truly believe that and I've had a ridiculous amount of time and experiences to tet the theory. grr.

Hugs and the loan of a clothes brush so you can dust yourself off and get moving again!

Leslie and her Pixies

Deep Blue Sea in a way i can relate to one thing you mentioned,well several actually.My now ex girlfriend of 4 months accused me of being gay,which i am not,nor i have ever considered it.I am suffering PTSD and have had the fits of anger as well,I have not banged against any walls,put have went into rages,throwing and kicking things,yelling,and cursing.After that i don't recall this but was told i was curled up under the kitchen table,i guess i felt safe under there.Whatever you do,do not jump off a train platform.I hope you went to the ER and got help.Don't make the same mistake i did and think you can deal with it on your own.

Yesterday morning my parents found out about this guy I went out with and told me they don't want him around anymore. Since then I've been banging myself against the walls, going into rages, cursing people out in public that irritated me. One day I yelled at my co-worker I went out with, I told him to bug off.. Since then he avoided me because he knew I was angry at him. Friday evening on my way home from work I was about to jump off the train platform, luckily I spotted a cop standing a few inches away so I backed off. I may soon have to go to the emergency room, I'm having a nervous breakdown and may succeed next time..
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I'm still having a hard time coping. I still feel hopeless, I feel like a a whole wall collapsed on me. I appreciate all you guys support here. I try to look at bright side of things but it's not easy when I've been through terrible experiences especially now. A few nights ago I went through a rage, occasionally I cry. If I feel worse I'll definitely seek help.

Deep Blue Sea, you deserve to feel better - I hope you will seek help - tale care P7

((deep blue sea))))) the first step is seeking help imo
with rage I thinking seeing someone may help imo
best to you
muffy

DBS, I am so relieved to read that you are safe. I am sorry that your heart was broken. Do you think that he realized that he was gay at the end and that he was trying to sort it out throughout the relationship? Are you angry with your parents because they are trying to control you?

Re: Hitting Rock Bottom
I'm sorry this happened to you! In the time that you dated for 5 yrs. were you physically involved or just good friends. Is his revelation that he's gay just happen or did he know he was gay all his life? I know you're devastated and diappointed. But at least you know it's not because of you. Did he deliberately mislead you? It's okay to feel angry but those feelings will pass. You deserve better andyou will find someone else after you heal. Your life is important and I wouldn't let any man or anyone else make me so sad that I would want to end it. But if those sad feeling don't pass then yes you should seek help. You don't need him to make you feel complete because he wasn't what you thought. Love yourself and be kind to yourself. Years down the road you're gonna thank God that you didn't end up with him. He's not worth the tears. Be strong girl!!!