[InfiniteSadness]

I'm not crazy about being dependent on meds to function, which is the case for me... I've become pretty dysfunctional when i was off all medication. But it just makes me feel flawed that I have to take it everyday. I just don't like the idea of taking a pill. I kind of just "accepted" it... like i'm a 'mental patient' for lack of better words. Sometimes i dont know which is worse my anxiety/ocd or depression.. ocd can get pretty out of control.. so can anxiety.. etc. I know i can't function without my anxiety med... but the depression med, i'm not so sure... which kind of bugs me. I think also the thing that bugs me is i dont even really live that 'stressful' of life besides my mental issues, so i cant even imagine how bad i'd be if i had an extremely stressful life on top of everything

[gayleggg]

It took me a long time to accept I would have to take meds for my depression and anxiety for the rest of my life. I finally decided I would have to accept my mental illness just like any other pyhsical illness. I accepted if I had heart problems and needed medication every day I wouldn't think twice about taking it. (and now I do have). So I take even more pills a day. It's just a part of life for me, I can't exist without them.
Gayle

[unaluna]

Yeah after seeing so many of my uncles and even some women in the clan die from heart attack and strokes at an early age, I am just gratefule I have the chance to take drugs that werent even invented yet for them that are keeping me alive. So I dont see myself as flawed, I see myself as not dead. And the psych meds keep me from killing myself, so again - not dead.

But you raise an interesting point. I think I got a neatness gene from my dad AND a sloppiness gene from my mother. Like they are two separate genes. I think the "glad im not dead" gene is different from the sui gene and the flawed gene, because those can still be expressed. It would be nice if they cancelled each other out, but they dont.

[Travelinglady]

I know how you feel. I have a feeling these thoughts are silly (well, I know they are), but I keep thinking I'd love to travel, move to another country, and even sign up to live on another planet!

But then I think, could I get my meds in those places? And I feel sad that I couldn't live on another world because I wouldn't have access to all my meds for a long enough time, and I wouldn't even be accepted into such an adventure because of my problems.

On the other hand, I am grateful the meds do exist and I have access to them where I am.

[InfiniteSadness]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

It took me a long time to accept I would have to take meds for my depression and anxiety for the rest of my life. I finally decided I would have to accept my mental illness just like any other pyhsical illness. I accepted if I had heart problems and needed medication every day I wouldn't think twice about taking it. (and now I do have). So I take even more pills a day. It's just a part of life for me, I can't exist without them.
Gayle

But do you ever think, like psychiatric medication is not an exact science? and start questioning everything? does it bother you at all? It bothers me because i feel like a "lab rat" in a way..

[InfiniteSadness]

Sorry, just wanted to add- i think i feel like a "bad" person deep down... Not sure how this ties in with the medication, well, actually I have a pretty good idea but dont feel comfortable saying

[Hellion]

Not really sure any meds actually make me function, as I am still unable to work or attend college( even if I do feel better later in life I don't plan to attempt college again because I think its pointless and I wouldn't know what to do with a degree)....some meds make me feel better and reduce stress and anxiety so I can function a little better and not be so overwhelmed with symptoms.

But they mostly just make me feel a little better when they work(otherwise they make me feel worse or do nothing), they don't exactly make me functional to a normal level.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, I have observed that med prescriptions for mental problems are more trial and error. So, in that way I feel like a lab rat.

But that just seems the way it is with these drugs.

I am not able to work either, even with drugs, but I also have physical health problems.

[InfiniteSadness]

Originally Posted by Hellion

Not really sure any meds actually make me function, as I am still unable to work or attend college( even if I do feel better later in life I don't plan to attempt college again because I think its pointless and I wouldn't know what to do with a degree)....some meds make me feel better and reduce stress and anxiety so I can function a little better and not be so overwhelmed with symptoms.

But they mostly just make me feel a little better when they work(otherwise they make me feel worse or do nothing), they don't exactly make me functional to a normal level.

I think i know what your saying... like you expect the meds to do so much more?

[Hellion]

Not exactly I don't really expect much more than a bit of relief, don't think there is a drug that would make me entirely functional...it would be cool if they did more but I don't expect it.

[onionknight]

Mental health treatment really is trial and error right now. They're working on brain scans to predict whether therapy or medications will help more, but that is still expensive and experimental.

Some people after some trial and error find a medication that help them live the life they want, and some find medications hinder them. Being dependent on a medication isn't a bad thing. Set goals and seek out the support and resources that help you reach them.

[sewerrats]

Nobody is %100 ok in life , but a mentally ill person can reach at best %70 , in remission. A shrink or GP wont change you meds till you hit %50 that's the time to worry about a change of meds . You can have lows and high,s in between like the normal,s do , but a steady decline is when the alarm goes off. You can have 1 major depressive episode in your life and maybe get off meds, but if you have2 or 3 or more its usually a sign your screwed for life.

[InfiniteSadness]

Originally Posted by sewerrats

Nobody is %100 ok in life , but a mentally ill person can reach at best %70 , in remission. A shrink or GP wont change you meds till you hit %50 that's the time to worry about a change of meds . You can have lows and high,s in between like the normal,s do , but a steady decline is when the alarm goes off. You can have 1 major depressive episode in your life and maybe get off meds, but if you have2 or 3 or more its usually a sign your screwed for life.

Yeah i'm more of the 2 or 3 more episodes. But when you say best is 70% remission, i've met people who went into practically FULL remission, practically. I wish i can say that happened for me...

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by InfiniteSadness

Yeah i'm more of the 2 or 3 more episodes. But when you say best is 70% remission, i've met people who went into practically FULL remission, practically. I wish i can say that happened for me...

When im in remission, people say you look good and healthy . I no I look better but not has good had they think. At a shrink or GP , a good one should be able to see how you feel by your face, in depression you seem to age 10year and look lost. My wife and friends can see it so they should be able to. That is if they life the face from the desk top. They then ask how do you feel from 1 to 10, always have this in your head before a appointment or you may flounder an say the wrong number and change the hole interview. 7 is my normal answer in remission , you can hit a 8 or 9 for brief spells after a couple of drinks maybe , but plummet to a 6 when hangover is twice has bad has the normals and twice has hard to get rid of. Say 5 and his head will lift from the computer and he may look at you. Why 5 he may ask,well it could be a sign I don't feel well???? 5 is your just holding it together number, lower and under the blanket looms. I call it RED ALERT TIME . You are right some can get full remission but they are usually the 1 major depressive type who can go on to full recovery. but if you get a second one you heart loose,s the spark for ever

[Tiger_Lily]

The is a global assessment of functioning (GAF) out of 100. Very few "normal" people are 90 or even 80. I need meds to function. With them I can work and attend school. I am still working on social and romantic relationships, but I have friends. I wish I didn't need the meds, but I prefer being on them to my life before. And I do not know whether I would be alive at all without them.

[-jimi-]

It's not only psych meds that are tricky. My friend and I have different autoimmune illnesses. Hers didn't get better with just high dosage steroids so they had to add a cancer med. It didn't go that well. They tried some med on me that is supposed to regulate the immune system but it didn't do anything at all for me! So I opted out of treatment.

Also many people struggle to find a med that keeps blood pressure under control, and some blood pressure meds are thought to CAUSE heart issues and cancer. So everything is not fine and dandy on the somatic side of things either.

[sewerrats]

you are right every new med you take , has the chance of causing some other illness. That's why I never take combos , I think personally they fight against each other for king of the hill .

[splitimage]

\I have very mixed feelings about meds. I've been on some type of psych med for 14 years now, so I often wonder what my brain would be like without chemicals. I do remember how I was immediately before I went on my first anti-D. severely depressed, hurting myself regularly and generally a mess. The anti-D helped with that. Now i'm on a chemical cocktail and it's causing side effects. I don't like the side effects but am afraid to go off the meds, because I can become suicidal and have bad depressive episodes despite being on meds. So I hate to imagine how I'd feel without them/

What I hate most is being physically dependent on them and going into withdrawal when I don't take them - makes me feel kind of helpless.

I know I need them, just wish I didn't.

spliitmage

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by splitimage

\I have very mixed feelings about meds. I've been on some type of psych med for 14 years now, so I often wonder what my brain would be like without chemicals. I do remember how I was immediately before I went on my first anti-D. severely depressed, hurting myself regularly and generally a mess. The anti-D helped with that. Now i'm on a chemical cocktail and it's causing side effects. I don't like the side effects but am afraid to go off the meds, because I can become suicidal and have bad depressive episodes despite being on meds. So I hate to imagine how I'd feel without them/

What I hate most is being physically dependent on them and going into withdrawal when I don't take them - makes me feel kind of helpless.

I know I need them, just wish I didn't.

spliitmage

we all felt this way that take meds long term, but its often life or death , and im not ready for death

[onionknight]

What I hate most is being physically dependent on them and going into withdrawal when I don't take them - makes me feel kind of helpless.

Withdrawal really makes me feel helpless. Effexor blunted my emotions and motivation and messed up my hormones, but I have to keep taking it in order to stave off the horrible symptoms of withdrawal. It is like I am ingesting a poison that is standing between me and actually feeling better.

[sewerrats]

Originally Posted by onionknight

Withdrawal really makes me feel helpless. Effexor blunted my emotions and motivation and messed up my hormones, but I have to keep taking it in order to stave off the horrible symptoms of withdrawal. It is like I am ingesting a poison that is standing between me and actually feeling better.

You have to bite the bullet and withdraw from a med like that, you carnt keep taking it because your scared of with drawl . Most no Effexor is a bad with drawl I have done it myself, you carnt spend your life on a med that hurts you get off it now.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by onionknight

Withdrawal really makes me feel helpless. Effexor blunted my emotions and motivation and messed up my hormones, but I have to keep taking it in order to stave off the horrible symptoms of withdrawal. It is like I am ingesting a poison that is standing between me and actually feeling better.

When I stopped Effexor the first cut was so horrific that it took me half a year to dare cutting it out totally. And I was on a low dosage. I remember the huge relief every day when I got to take my dosage because I started to get withdrawals about 3 hours before next dosage was due. Every day. I just took it because the withdrawals were bad. It had stopped working after three months.

I'm glad I cut it out, the last cut wasn't as bad for me. There are several methods for quitting Effexor, like taper out real slowly. They even make pills for it. (Of course they say the pills are not for tapering but why else make them in 25 mg that can be split???)

If you are on the extended release you can open capsules and count the granules and decide how many to take. Taking away one every second day might be doable. (Just remember you can't remove from the capsule, you have to count the ones you are taking because there is not the same amount in all of them, just roughly). If you swallow the granules whole without damaging them (easily done with some yogurt), they are OK to take without the capsule, and yea I have asked the manufacturer (of the original Effexor).

You can also taper in another antidepressant as you taper out Effexor. That is probably the most humane way, but then you need a doctor who know what he/she is doing. The choice of that AD should be one that causes the least withdrawals.

[onionknight]

I'm tapering by reducing 10-20% (give or take) of my dose every month. I'm at 31mg now. Yes, it means I"m taking a drug that is making me feel worse, but I need to be able to function to go to work, and I don't want to be completely miserable so going any faster or stopping suddenly just to be off it isn't an option. I don't plan to spend my life on a med that is hurting me or any med that makes it more difficult for me to be happy.

[-jimi-]

It sounds like you already have a good taper plan going! Good job! And I agree on going slow. Better than suffering too much. You are getting there finally!

[onionknight]

I feel like I've already suffered too much, but *shrug* what else can I do?