How do I know when to reach out to T for help?

For the first time since I started therapy 5 months ago, I am feeling low. Not just low, extremely low. As in hopeless. As in I've been fighting back tears all day, sometimes unsuccessfully, and now all I wanna do tonight is cry myself to sleep and not even eat the ice cream I bought on the way home from work. I don't know what happened with the EMDR we did last night, but it obviously stirred up something that's not going away. I really can't believe how utterly miserable I feel.

So how do I know when to reach out to T for help? I've never contacted T before for anything other than scheduling issues. But if I don't feel better by tomorrow, I just may call T - my next session is by phone because I'm out of town next week, and I really don't know how I'm going to function for the next week if I keep feeling this way. I just hate being needy, but I don't know what else to do. I keep envisioning my safe place, and it helps as long as I'm 'there', but I can't be 'there' 24/7, unfortunately!

Your T should be there for you when you feel this way.. I don't see anything wrong with calling and saying you feel worse than you have in five months, you think the EMDR stirred something up, and you need an emergency session. That sounds perfectly reasonable. You haven't ever called your T for anything besides scheduling before.. I doubt you'll be perceived as "too needy."

I can't speak to knowing when to contact T out of session, but I do know that the first few times of delving into a trauma can be brutal afterwards. I always felt bad in session, but when I got home it was just wretched. I really learned some good self-care enduring those days.

I'm sorry it's so hard right now

(((((((((((((dreamseeker)))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad

I think that this is the kind of time when you call your T. The EMDR stirred something up, and she was there for the EMDR, so she may know some ways to help you. I bet this is a really common time for people to need extra support. Needing support is not the same thing as being "too needy". I think sometimes we think if we have ANY NEED at all, it's "too needy". It's not. We're humans and we need things, and it's OKAY.

Sometimes when I am having a horrid day after I work on trauma in therapy, I wake up the next morning feeling lighter and better. I hope that happens for you. If it doesn't, I really hope you'll call your T and let her help you.

Sending lots of to you.

Thanks, everyone - I'm going to stay home from work today and call T, I can't keep feeling like this. I went to sleep crying, and I woke up at 3 in the morning crying. It feels unreal, how horrible I feel. I'm having awful feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, I can't keep feeling this way. I don't know how to get it to stop, but it has to stop, I need to be able to function! The weird thing is I didn't feel that bad on Monday after the session, these feelings started on Tuesday morning and have intensified. So yeah, I'm gonna call T. Guess I'll go back to bed, try to get some more sleep, and then call in a few hours.

Skeksi may be you could let us know what kinds of self care you found helpful? thanks

(((((((((((((((((((((((( dreamseeker )))))))))))))))))))))))))

T says, I hate to see people suffer - and I bet your T is the same. So call - you are suffering - sometimes it's amazing how just a word from T can make the shadows recede and you feel better. to you

((((((((((((((((((dreamseeker))))))))))))))))

I'm glad you're calling T

Thanks, all - I called T and left a message. Just hearing T's voice did help, and it also made me about start crying again. I'll keep you posted.

Hi Dreamseeker,

So sorry to hear you're having a negative reaction to EMDR. It may have stirred up more than you are ready or able to process. I can't do EMDR for reasons such as this. I get too emotionally overwhelmed, sometimes to the point of feeling retraumatized, even with the "safe place" and grounding techniques. For some reason, i get stuck in the negative emotions and memories and can't get through to the other side where the memories are processed and I'm free of the suffering. My t and I have quit doing EMDR for now.

I'm glad you called your t and left a message. I think she'll understand. After certain difficult EMDR sessions, my t told me as i left the office, "You know where to find me if you need me." I'm sure she realizes how EMDR can stir up alot of discomfort. Hope you hear from her soon!

Thanks, peaches - T did call back, I'm seeing her this evening. When I told T how I can't stop crying, and how these new feelings are overwhelming me, she said that she was afraid that might happen - that it's hard for me to see it now, but these are old emotions coming up, and that it's good that I'm feeling them. It certainly doesn't feel good, T! But she was very caring on the phone - making sure I was alright, asking what I'd be doing until our appt. tonight (zoning out in front of the TV, it helps turn off my brain). T said we'd do more work on my safe place tonight, strengthen that, since it doesn't seem to be working for me now. I had a good cry after we hung up, but I am relieved that I'm getting in to see her. I'll let you all know how it goes. Thanks for the support!

Hi,
EMDR can be really emotional and tough. I have been doing it along with another kind of therapy with my therapist and in the beginining I would wake up in nightmares. It opened up a lot of my past and it wasn't until I left the session that it would hit me.
The safe place takes time so please be gentle with yourself. When I am in crisis I have hard time going to the safe place but I keep trying. Lately I have been using her office as my safe place b/c I can see it clearly when I leave.
You are experiencing a lot of new emotions - so let me say it again, please be gentle with yourself.

I hope you post about how it went with therapist. I'm happy that she is so responsive. And...you are not "needy" you are going through some tough times. I think we all think of ourselves that way b/c we're too afraid of actually needing and deserving help.

So glad to hear you're getting in to see her!!! I so hope you are feeling better soon; it sucks that EMDR brought all this up for you but maybe your T meant that you need to feel these emotions to process them, so you feel better in the long run.

One thing that has really helped is treating myself like I'm sick, because I am sick, my heart is hurt. So after a really bad trauma-focused session, I often go home and put on pajamas and curl up in bed with a favorite book, or on the couch with a funny movie (even if I'm not going to laugh). I eat my usual sickie foods like soup and juice. I cry on and off and I figure that's okay, I'm not feeling well. If I have to drag myself to work, and people ask if I'm okay, I say I'm not feeling well, because I'm not.

I also do stuff like give myself a pedicure, or wash and straighten my hair, or even do some cleaning, because those make me feel better. I kind of trust to what feels right, even if it means calling in sick and crying all day.

Dreamseeker, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. This is a hard road.

Just got back from T - skeksi, she basically told me to do what you said, to allow myself to cry as much as I need to, even if I feel the urge to cry when I'm picturing myself in my 'safe place' - T said it makes sense that I would want to be in a safe place before I cry.

T asked if I was up for more EMDR - I said I was scared of more bad feelings coming to me, but T thought it was worth it to instill the positive cognition - I trust my T, so we did it. I think the EMDR worked better for me this time, I came down in my negative cognition rating and felt better about the positive cognition, though we're still not done processing this one. T also made sure to ground me at the end.

I do feel better - still fragile, which T and I discussed, but not like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment, and I'm not feeling hopeless and worthless, like I was. T told me she was glad I called her, and to definitely call her if I need her before our next session. T also said that I'm working hard and doing good work.

Thanks so much, everyone - I have a feeling I'll be coming back to revisit this post when I'm down, for all the kind words and suggestions in it.

I am so glad you reached out to your T and she reached back. EMDR aside, I think it's very healing to relive it in session and be upset by it, but this time to reach out and be helped. It's a do-over, in a tiny way, and the more those accumulate, the more contained the trauma will feel.

Take care

((((dreamseeker))))

Therapy is so bloody hard sometimes. I had a good cry myself this morning, and was afraid someone in my house would hear me.

You handled this beautifully, and I am so happy to hear that you reached out.

Take gentle care.