[Brightheart]

...guilty about talking about your therapist online with so many other people? And not even just about them, but discussing the relationship you've had with them as well? I do sometimes. Feel guilty, I mean. I feel like it's private stuff between myself and him, but yet I gab about it anyhow. I start to think of their position and how they are sworn to privacy and I'm Discussing it all and getting the support of others has been helpful to me, though. And I like talking about him. It helps me remember him. I just hope that he wouldn't mind.

[fallenangel337]

I really don't feel guilty. I keep her identity to myself, so really, she could be anyone. I think what I reveal about my own therapy is up to me. Now, I think it would be crossing the line if I said "Hey, everyone...my T's name is __________!" Other than that, no harm done, really.

[crystalrose]

i do sometimes feel bad about talking about T especially the negative parts. I read something somewhere i think by irvin yalom that therapists don't have confidentiality. I think its great that we can post about our Therapists. I often wonder if T is lurking somewhere reading all my posts but i think she has a life outside of the therapy room. therapists also have supervisors that they can discuss cases with. So they are confidentially discussing us also. I like talking about my T too. I don't think therapists would mind. I'm going to tell T tomorrow that i am talking about her online. See what she says.

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by crystalrose

I'm going to tell T tomorrow that i am talking about her online. See what she says.

I told my T about PC, and she said she thinks it's a great resource, and she's glad that I'm reaching out to people. I don't think she minds, either.

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by Brightheart

...guilty about talking about your therapist online with so many other people? And not even just about them, but discussing the relationship you've had with them as well? I do sometimes. Feel guilty, I mean. I feel like it's private stuff between myself and him, but yet I gab about it anyhow. I start to think of their position and how they are sworn to privacy and I'm Discussing it all and getting the support of others has been helpful to me, though. And I like talking about him. It helps me remember him. I just hope that he wouldn't mind.

Guilty? What for? Talking about our therapists? Or discussing our feelings within the theraputic relationship? Often my T has asked if I no anyone else who is in therapy when I mention being in therapy can leave me feeling lonely, isloated in regards to other people in my life, ie, work collegues, so I think she'd be pleased I have somewhere to help me not feel so along with the theraputic journey, now if I was cussing her then thats a whole different issue, but then theres transference and state attacks to be considered.

[Brightheart]

Originally Posted by crystalrose

I read something somewhere i think by irvin yalom that therapists don't have confidentiality.

Yeah, I guess it's that part that bothers me.

I'll have to analyze that now, lol. I'm expressing intimate knowledge about him and our therapeutic relationship to others. Maybe it's that protective thing with me again. Protecting the sanctity of love and care within relationships. Like that's private info I shouldn't be giving out. Allowing others into our sacred space feels like betrayal of some kind. So again with my mother and brother. Gah! Everything always comes back to that with me. It's true that he'd probably be happy to know that I've reached out to others.

[hangingon]

I recently sent my T a post that I had put on here in reference to our sessions, things both she and I had said during the session. I told her that I put it together the best I could lol to excuse little discrepencies. She didn't say anything bad about it at all.

Her only concern in the past was that she wanted me to be asking her things in session, to not be afraid to do that, as oppossed to asking people online.

[sw628]

I don't feel too guilty when I talk about T online, as long as I keep her identity confidential. The only problem that I am seeing here is that some posters divulge WAY TOO MUCH information and I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so. I just get overwhelmed sometimes while reading lol.

[deliquesce]

^ what would you say is way too much info? i haven't come across that anywhere, but then maybe i have different standards and am one of the culprits, lol.

i dont feel guilty about talking about pdoc or austin-T. i actually think pdoc would feel... proud(?) that i value him so much that i want to talk about him elsewhere. i know he would be touched. i try to express how grateful i am to him in session, but i do better with telling other ppl instead.

i don't mention things which they disclose which i know they would want to keep private - things they have told me only i know about them. so i do draw the line somewhere. and obviously, austin-T isn't really called "austin", nor is he, or has he ever been (to my knowledge) a pornstar .

talking about them here actually strengthens my relationship with them, because i get feedback and it reinforces that they are good people who are worth trusting. when i type out all the silly things pdoc does (e.g., his stupid jokes), it makes me remember those moments and keeps it more alive later on. it's important to me that i reflect on the relationship, the uniqueness of what we share, because it reminds me that there is more to therapy than doom and gloom, and that i have 2 ppl who really do care about me.

i know if i printed this post out and showed it to pdoc it would be something he would treasure immensely, because it is something he has worked so hard towards fostering.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by sw628

The only problem that I am seeing here is that some posters divulge WAY TOO MUCH information and I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so.

Can you say more about what types of things you think shouldn't be divulged? Is it things that could reveal the identity of the therapist? Or other types of things? I would like to know so I don't inadvertantly reveal things that lots of people consider "way too much information." Because I can be quite wordy, so I might be doing this!

Originally Posted by Brightheart

guilty about talking about your therapist online with so many other people? And not even just about them, but discussing the relationship you've had with them as well?

Sometimes, but not too much. I don't reveal our closest of moments, because they are really special, and somehow, if I put them in black and white, the intimacy is lost. Also, I am wary not to post certain things so as to avoid criticism. Brightheart, I think if you are feeling like you don't want to post certain things about your relationship with your T because it's special and private between you, then don't. (But it does not violate therapist-client confidentiality for you to do so.)

[rainbow8]

sw--I also want to know what you think it TMI with regard to our Ts.
Brightheart, I do feel a little guilty and wonder what my T would think if she knew what I was saying about her. She has always said she's not a private person, but that's not what she meant. She also said I own my therapy, or something to that effect, so I think it's all right to discuss it and her. I do want to prottect her privacy, though, so I wouldn't want to publicize her name. But I still feel a little guilty when I post about what she says to me and what happens in my sessions. It may be what I say that bothers me, though. Why I have to write so much, but I seem to have a need to.

[Melbadaze]

[quote=sw628;1145576]I don't feel too guilty when I talk about T online, as long as I keep her identity confidential. The only problem that I am seeing here is that some posters divulge WAY TOO MUCH information and I'm sure I'm not the only one that thinks so. [/qoute]

Do they? I haven't felt that way about posters here...Even with the topic of exoctic tranference, thats just been the posters feelings about T? Im sure your perhaps confusing how you feel with how others feel about their T's?

[Confused_1982]

I dont really feel guilty. T knows I post on here, and I think he is glad I have somewhere to connect with people in the same position as me. He supports whatever I need to do for me. In fact, I'm sure it was him who brought it up as an option to help me.

I think as long as we dont use Ts name or any personal details about them, its ok, and they probably expect it.

I would also be interested in what is classed as too much info. I dont think I have read anything that I would class as too much. This forum is for us to understand what is going on for us, and to help us grow with T, so I think there does need to be some degree of detail in our posts, but I would never know who anyone T is based on their posts

[sw628]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Can you say more about what types of things you think shouldn't be divulged? Is it things that could reveal the identity of the therapist? Or other types of things? I would like to know so I don't inadvertantly reveal things that lots of people consider "way too much information." Because I can be quite wordy, so I might be doing this!

Sometimes, but not too much. I don't reveal our closest of moments, because they are really special, and somehow, if I put them in black and white, the intimacy is lost. Also, I am wary not to post certain things so as to avoid criticism. Brightheart, I think if you are feeling like you don't want to post certain things about your relationship with your T because it's special and private between you, then don't. (But it does not violate therapist-client confidentiality for you to do so.)

I suppose what I meant by 'too much info"" was sometimes post tend to get wordy or multiple threads made by one person in the course of the day. Not so much in the sense of what is disclosed. I speak for myself when I say this because it's sometimes hard for me to keep up with what all is being said. I'm here a lot less now, so it's no longer an issue lol. Needless to say, I enjoy reading the posts as it's helped me a lot in my relationship with my T. I also enjoy recieving meaningful advice and objective opinion. So everyone.. keep posting.

[sw628]

(((DELI))
I like reading your post! Keep writing

I'm sure I'm a "too much info" person

I don't feel guilty talking about T. T probably talks about me in supervision or with his colleagues or in his therapy without revealing my name. In fact, I KNOW he has. He even mentioned something to his wife once. I know he's not telling anyone who I am, so I don't mind. And in the same way, I feel like I can talk about him without saying his name, etc.

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by sw628

I suppose what I meant by 'too much info"" was sometimes post tend to get wordy or multiple threads made by one person in the course of the day.

oh, i find it difficult to keep up too. and that's just with the threads that I start . our little subform here on PC does move quite fast and it gets especially difficult if you aren't able to keep up each day.

Originally Posted by treehouse

I'm sure I'm a "too much info" person

you're one of the ppl here who i used as a bit of a "model" in getting closer to pdoc - so keep talking woman!! i initially joined PC to get support over terminating with my old-T quite abruptly. pdoc has always been great, but i've come to appreciate him a lot more these past 9 months and a lot of that has to do with being able to vicariously share what others have with their Ts. it makes me think, "ok, what pdoc and i share is ok too".

because i find it so difficult to know what "good" boundaries are, i freak out massively whenever another boundary with pdoc & i gets shifted. i went through so much angst when he gave me his mobile number last year and told me to call whenever. i really, really, really freaked out.

but knowing that other ppl call their Ts between sessions, that it's possible to have a healthy T-type relationship outside the bounds of the therapy hour... that has helped immensely.

Originally Posted by deliquesce

and obviously, austin-T isn't really called "austin", nor is he, or has he ever been (to my knowledge) a pornstar .

deli is just trying to cover her butt here. we ALL know austin-t really is a gay pornstar.

yeah, i think as long as we don't disclose anything that would identify our ts we're ok and it's up to us how much we want to divulge be it the amount of info or the intimacy of it. there are things i would never tell others about my relationship with my spiritual friend because i think some things are just meant to be kept between us. also, i know he's private and wouldn't want me sharing certain things. having said that everyone is different so i think it's all good and an individual call.

[skeksi]

Admittedly, I don't share ton about my T here, but I do share some. This relationship is so new (first healthy one ever, I think!) and valuable to me, that I want to share it with others, but it's not exactly typical social conversation. Doing it online with people who are in the same position lets me share and be heard, and I enjoy doing the same for others.

So no, I don't feel guilty. I conceal any identifying information about both him and me, which is what I would expect if he wrote about me.

[sw628]

(((TREE))))
You give great advice! I enjoy reading your post as well

[Brightheart]

I don't think it's really so much of a worry that I'm exposing his identity of anything. I would NEVER do anything like that. It's just that there is a certain intimacy in that room that really goes both ways. And that feels personal...between myself and him. I would venture to say that I know his "little things" (non-verbals) quite well...maybe even just as well as some of his personal acquaintances do. It feels wrong to talk publicly about his special things...things that make him who he is...parts of his human side that he shared with me. So I don't think that I will do that any longer. I do really think that the reason I want to talk about all of that is because I'm so afraid of forgetting. I try to keep the memories alive because they remain so meaningful to me. But I wouldn't want to cheat any of the shared intimacy of our brief time together as client and therapist. I would want to protect that more than visual cues in my mind.

In saying that, I don't think he would be opposed to my getting support on here by discussing our relationship and my feelings for him.

[Melbadaze]

sw26, so its not what they reveal, its how many times they reveal? Yeah some posts for me are abit OTT, but then again when I first found the internet, man I was bleeding all over the place and posting things that now I wouldn't dream of posting. So for those posts, I try to stay away from once I see where abouts on their journey the poster is at.

[ECHOES]

No, I feel like my life is my life and I can talk, or not, about anything anywhere I choose to. Therapy is a very personal experience and most things I would not talk about with someone else because they are for therapy and because I would not expect friends and family to 'be' my therapist.

I might mention to those who might understand, or to those who question why I am STILL seeing my therapist, in a general way (no specifics) that the relationship is one I value and is helpful. But I find that those who don't understand and value therapy just often don't get it and I feel no need to try to help that with that.
This is one reason why this site, and this forum in particular, is valuable and helpful.
We can share all things therapy here in an anonymous setting.

Originally Posted by ECHOES

This is one reason why this site, and this forum in particular, is valuable and helpful.
We can share all things therapy here in an anonymous setting.

Yes, I totally agree. I would NEVER tell my friends/family the details of my therapy They wouldn't understand. I'll tell H little things sometimes that are specifically about him, or that I think he will find funny, but that's it. I think unless you are in therapy, it's impossible to understand what it's really like.

Which is why this board is so great

[Dinah]

I do feel guilty. I've talked to my therapist about it and he doesn't mind as long as he's just Dinah's therapist and I don't reveal his name.

I am scrupulous enough to point out that I talk about what happened in session as if my view of it was The Truth, when in reality I know that he might read it and not recognize it at all. A fly on the wall might not even recognize it. Because even if I report exactly what he and I said, I'm seeing it through my eyes, not his, and not the fly's. I'm choosing what to report out of a fifty minute session, and even exact quotations can be made to mean something completely different based on what I choose to quote.

He's still ok with it.

I have a personal line though. I try to keep my revelations to things about me, or those things about him that are currently affecting me. I try to stop short of revealing things that are his personally, not his as a therapist.