thinking about quiting.

i'm feeling very down at the moment..the beat way i can describe is like i've believed by being with T that somehow life outaide the therapy room cant touch me...we, my husband and I arw facing some possible lifestyle changes...if the things change then to me I dont feel therapy is worth it.....i cant see it in the same way....it suddenly feels like a luxury compared to having to walk out the room and then have to deal with the realitys of the rest of my life.....The heaviness of my adult life far outweigh the Idea of dealing with my head stuff....some may say, yes but therapy can help us deal with the outsude stuff...But I can deal with the outaude stuff without therapy....i've spent my life dealing with crap.....perhaps its anger that T cant help with everything?....she cant fix everything?...well even if thats the case then....then I might as well just walk and get on with reality and stop mucking about fantasing It can be any other way....i just feel whats the point.

I'm sorry, Melba. I'm not in a good place to offer advice. Right now I wish I'd never been in therapy either. It seems like the hurt outweighs the help. I do suggest discussing your feelings with your T before quitting.

Melba So sorry you and H are facing difficulties, it sounds painful.

I've read so many of your past posts, and I've seen how far you have come. You have such a beautiful relationship with your T - please talk to her before making any decisions.

Melba, do talk to your T about your thoughts about quitting. Could wanting to quit be related to your approach to things outside of therapy too? Think about any patterns - if you feel like quitting when you are angry, or when a problem seems too big to solve, or when you feel hopeless or think that someone will not be helpful? It could be useful to gain some understanding of this as part of a pattern in your life, and your T would be the best person to help you clarify if it is.

TC

I just had a convo with my T i think last week where we talked about the odd relationship between "dr" "T" "Specialist" and "client" "patient". How in any other medical format, we the patient goes in to see the dr becauser we're sick, in pain, can't fix it ourselves.... the whole friggin POINT of seeing the dr is to get it fixed. But in the context of therapy, unfortunately, it isn't the point. Sadly, most of us don't know that when we show up. "You're the Dr, I'm the patient, I'm in MORE PAIN than I can function with, You know what' you're doing - fix it." And they can't. It is totally unfair. TOTALLY UNFAIR. yet, there it is. we, the patients, have to do the "fixing" under the watchful, knowledgable gaze of the pro. They ask questions to get us to look deeper at ourselves... they are like the miner's light on the helmet being worn by the hiker going in the cave. They illuminate the next step, the next question, the next ouch.
It is not in their power to fix us, stop us for SI or sui, heal us, lift us out of the darkness. I wish someone had told me that loooooooooooooooong before i started. But now that I have started, i can't turn back. I can never again be that person i was before therapy started illuminating *why* the problems in my life are there. THey can't even stop the same problems from reoccuring. All they can do is give us an new vantage point. A new way of interpreting it. Show us how others might do it to get a different result.

WHy this long email? Not to further cause you pain, or say things to hurt you. only to maybe illuminate something new, so you can turn yourself around and stop waiting for T to do it. It's not that T won't. It's that T *can't*. It is not in their power. It is only in YOUR power. hard to hear - but true. hope things get better *hugs*

Rap, I think you've hit on something here. I tend to curl up into a ball when things happen that feel overwhelming. The thought of talking about them makes me feel exposed. Thanks

Kiya, I think perhaps I didn't express myself to well, I know T's can't fix things, and the things that are about to change in my life are un-T related, ie, job loss...its the feeling of safety within the therapy room that I realised doesn't guarentee stuff in the outside world can't bite you in the butt...I think I'm just feeling a bit down about what might happen.....I am feeling that whats the point of "fixing" my head if my house is about to be taken from me...and that T cannot fix.

(((((Melbadaze)))))

Sorry I don't have anything else to give.

Life always kicks us in the butt. It's Life's 'job'.
T can be there in even more meaningful ways, but you won't know unless you continue and see what's down the road.

T could not prevent this, or that... But T is still there.

to be honest part of me feels the need to just walk away from therapy...its like its lost its magic...i cant explain nor can i explain it to myself....what do i want to walk away from?....its like i've forgotten all the good feelings I get and now it feels like T and I are just cardboard cutouts...Like T is my mother that i need to escape from....dont tell me thats not true because i knOw it is....oh god i think i have been taken over..it won't let me go....its controlling my thinking...its beating me doqn

Perhaps you want to walk away from the realization that therapy isn't magic after all.
Addictions/substance abuse has a similar 'magic' aspect to it.
You walked away from one magical solution in your life. Could it be that the 'magic' you wish for isn't there in therapy. Yet it doesn't need to be. Therapy works because therapy is real.
I don't know, but I think your idea of 'magic' is intriguing.

thats it, i want drink more than i want T...and thats scary..i always valued T..:but now i just want to escape...i cant do real

And if it isn't working for you, therefore it must be your fault?

Whatever you do, talk to T about it first. Think it through a couple of steps ahead. What would you do next if you quit therapy? Do pros and cons for each option. Write it out. Take it to T.

You can get through this. Whatever happens, you can handle it. I hope you can believe that.