[geez]

Since my T being late for my appt. (as I stated in another thread - it has been resolved). I have been obsessing about the time while I'm in a T appt. I obsess about what exact time I get there. What time I sit down. What time she closes the door. When she ends the session. When I get up to leave. What time it is when I get in the car. What time it is when I get home. I say obsess but perhaps i should say I note the time?

I'm feeling like if I don't get an exact 60 minutes then I'm being cheated and I'm obsessing about it. I'm so embarrassed about this but I need to talk to my T about it so I can be 'open' to sharing my thoughts etc.. I need to feel safe. I feel like this is an internal conflict for me and I SO HATE THIS FEELING. Something I need to deal with in my life in general.

I don't really have a question I guess I just need to put this out there.

Thanks for 'listening'.

[WePow]

geez ... I used to be like that until my T called me out on it and said "I am in charge of the time, not you." and then he moved the clock where I couldn't see it. Then he had the clock back where it was but I wouldn't have the nerve to look at it again!!

[seventyeight]

hi geez, i've had this problem too. the thing that makes me feel better about it is thinking about the time i've spent on the phone with my therapist. like, if i added that all up, it's probably a few hours. so if we run short a few minutes, i just think, "well those minutes went into a phone call somewhere."

not sure if this helps (as you may not ever talk to your therapist on the phone!), but i thought i'd mention it.

[Sannah]

Any insight into this since you posted on it?

[granite1]

my T doesnt have a clock in her office that i can see.it sits on a table next to her facing away from me.i'm kind of glad because i would also be watching the time every sec i was in the room.could you maybe talk to you T about this and maybe ask if T not have the time displayed so you can see it for a bit.

[sittingatwatersedge]

I told T that I'm slow getting started in sessions and after that I feel I am always fighting the d*** clock.
She said yes I've noticed that.
I said, you don't see it in the same way. I have seen you look at the clock, see that we have 10 minutes left, and you'll say, "Oh, we have plenty of time," whereas I look at it and see 10 minutes andsuddenlyIfeelasifIhavetojustreallyspeeduptalkinglikethoseguyssellingcarsontheradiowhentheygiveyouallthefineprintat95milesperhour
at least I made T laugh.

Geez, there is NEVER enough time - that's my opinion - and it's something you need to talk to yr T about. Maybe the two of you can work out 90 minute sessions at least once in a while?

[geez]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Any insight into this since you posted on it?

Hi Sannah I've kind of been obsessing about this for a while but especially since she was late for my apt. and since she let me out early ( before the time she was late ).

[lizlemon]

I find that I obsess over the time because I will just start to get into something and then the time is almost up, so I am either looking at the clock(which is right beside me) or I sense that I better "wrap things up". I have talked about it with my T and he knows that this seems to really affect my sessions when I have something big to talk about. I will talk really really fast in order to get everything out. Having a time limit for me is really difficult. I wish that we could just hang out in his office and talk and drink coffee....yeah right

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

I said, you don't see it in the same way. I have seen you look at the clock, see that we have 10 minutes left, and you'll say, "Oh, we have plenty of time," whereas I look at it and see 10 minutes andsuddenlyIfeelasifIhavetojustreallyspeeduptalkinglikethoseguyssellingcarsontheradiowhentheygiveyouallthefineprintat95milesperhour

I do think therapists see time differently. When there is 10 minutes left, T is perfectly willing to get into something new, while I'm sitting there thinking I'm just going to stop talking.

Sometimes there almost seems to be a time warp in therapy. When I went today, we did ALL of our talking about my fear of him being angry, what seeing his house brought up for me, etc - and I did ALL of my crying - and I looked at the clock, and it was only 9:30. I knew I had like 25 minutes left and I couldn't believe it. I was sure the first part took the whole hour.

T looked at his watch a million times during the last 20 mins of session today (well, maybe a little less than a million). The client after me always glares at me and I'm pretty sure she can't stand me and I wonder if T was trying to get me out of there before she got there? Hum. I finally got irritated and started announcing the time to him (I can see a clock from where I'm sitting)

Time in therapy is tricky.

I can't multi quote, so I'm going to have to make a separate reply to geez

Originally Posted by geez

I need to feel safe. I feel like this is an internal conflict for me and I SO HATE THIS FEELING.

((((((((((((Geez)))))))))))))

In my opinion, this is JUST the kind of thing that we need to talk about in therapy.

For me, those internal conflicts eat me up, and tend to loop around in my head over and over and over again. But when I finally get brave enough to tell T whatever it is, it's almost like it's purged from my system, at least a little. I almost picture the thought as a stream of light, circling around and around and around in my head - when I can speak it, it starts to unravel and flow OUT of me. And once it's out in the open, we can start dealing with whatever it is.

I hope you can find some relief, geez

[geez]

Originally Posted by WePow

geez ... I used to be like that until my T called me out on it and said "I am in charge of the time, not you." and then he moved the clock where I couldn't see it. Then he had the clock back where it was but I wouldn't have the nerve to look at it again!!

WePow my T has three digital clocks There's one clock on each side of the sofa for her to see and one behind her on a shelf over her left shoulder that I can see - I try not to look at the clock during the session and I only do it when she breaks eye contact or looks away for a second.

[geez]

Originally Posted by seventyeight

hi geez, i've had this problem too. the thing that makes me feel better about it is thinking about the time i've spent on the phone with my therapist. like, if i added that all up, it's probably a few hours. so if we run short a few minutes, i just think, "well those minutes went into a phone call somewhere."

not sure if this helps (as you may not ever talk to your therapist on the phone!), but i thought i'd mention it.

seventyeight I don't normally talk to my T on the phone. I have a couple of times when in crisis but that's about it. She does spend some time on occasion looking up stuff for me to read and photocopies/prints it out.

[geez]

Originally Posted by granite1

my T doesnt have a clock in her office that i can see.it sits on a table next to her facing away from me.i'm kind of glad because i would also be watching the time every sec i was in the room.could you maybe talk to you T about this and maybe ask if T not have the time displayed so you can see it for a bit.

Thanks for the suggestion granite. I may just ask her to hide the clock that I can see . I wonder how that will feel during my session? - not knowing the time. Just thinking about it I feel anxious

[geez]

Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge

Geez, there is NEVER enough time - that's my opinion - and it's something you need to talk to yr T about. Maybe the two of you can work out 90 minute sessions at least once in a while?

90 minutes! What would I talk about for 90 minutes (I say that jokingly because I tend to clam up during sessions and find it hard to be open to discussing my feelings/being in touch with my feelings).

[zooropa]

ack, this time thing. It is such a big deal for me, it drives me nuts. I am so, so careful not to get to Ts office too early (I would never be late, have never been late, ever. I'm that kind of anxious person, always early, for everything). Getting there too early leaves me too much time sitting in the lobby, which I cannot stand. I think my threshold for sitting in there is 2 minutes, tops.

So I will waste time while driving if I have to, in order to not get there too early. Walk my dog around the parking lot, have a cigarette, go to the bathroom in the lobby of the building, text some friends my weekly pre-therapy freak out text, anything to avoid getting into her lobby too soon.

So if she is even ONE minute late coming out to get me, it drives me up the wall.

During session, I watch the clock, obsessively. She has a couple strategically placed so we both can see one. I am always worried I won't have enough time. Even now that I have 90 min sessions (which are 75 min. sessions in real time, 90 mins in therapist's time, lol), there is never enough time. I could stay all day and night and all week and it wouldn't be enough time.

If I have something I want to talk about but haven't had the courage to bring up yet, it gets bigger and bigger in my chest as the time goes by. I hate coming out with things in the last 5 minutes, but I do it sometimes so I won't have to carry it around a whole other week. I'm trying to learn to speak up with my "agenda" earlier in the session, so I don't have that "omg, time's ticking down!" thought taking up space in my head the whole time. I have a hard time bringing things up, though. I forget in the anxiety of the moment.

ok, well evidently I could go on and on about this time issue, but I will stop now.

[geez]

Originally Posted by lizlemon

I find that I obsess over the time because I will just start to get into something and then the time is almost up, so I am either looking at the clock(which is right beside me) or I sense that I better "wrap things up". I have talked about it with my T and he knows that this seems to really affect my sessions when I have something big to talk about. I will talk really really fast in order to get everything out. Having a time limit for me is really difficult. I wish that we could just hang out in his office and talk and drink coffee....yeah right

Thank you lizlemon. I can relate about talking fast. Even sometimes after things being wrapped up I'll throw in a 'by the way' statement to share a little something. I usually get back 'have a good day' or 'see you next week'. I don't do that so much anymore because it's kinda awkward and I feel like I'm pushing the boundaries a tad.

[geez]

Originally Posted by treehouse

T looked at his watch a million times during the last 20 mins of session today (well, maybe a little less than a million). The client after me always glares at me and I'm pretty sure she can't stand me and I wonder if T was trying to get me out of there before she got there? Hum. I finally got irritated and started announcing the time to him (I can see a clock from where I'm sitting)

love you treehouse! That is so something I would think of doing but never would have the gumption to do so! (something I need to work on - the whole speaking up thing)

[geez]

Originally Posted by treehouse

((((((((((((Geez)))))))))))))

In my opinion, this is JUST the kind of thing that we need to talk about in therapy.

For me, those internal conflicts eat me up, and tend to loop around in my head over and over and over again.

Thank you treehouse for sharing. Internal conflicts is the story of my life and why I don't talk. It's the very feeling of conflict that cements in my mouth shut.
This is something I'm working on. Perhaps she is creating a minor conflict to see how I handle it? Perhaps it's just all in my head

My next appt is this Thursday so it will be a topic of conversation.

[geez]

((zoo))

I too do the same things you do:
I don't want to get there too early.
I have a friend I will call if I'm there early.
If I'm there early I will also go into the bathroom for a few minutes.
If I'm waiting outside the room for another client to come out I'll check and recheck the time on my cell phone.
I look at the clock the second I walk into her office (after making eye contact with her of course ).
I look at the clock the second I sit down.
I sometimes look at the clock when my T is talking too much about something I don't want to talk about or if there's something I want to talk about but i'm afraid to.

Thank you for sharing! - it feels good to know I"m not the only one

this is so unreal to me... been seeing t for for a long time and have never even seen his clock anywhere in his office. I often wonder how he tells the time...

Me too. No clock in his office. He wears a wristwatch. I'm not much of a stickler for time. I tend to get to his office early so I can just read in the peace and quiet. He gets me when he gets me. We go until the session is over, and that's that. It's nice not to stress over time.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by geez

.... I sometimes look at the clock when my T is talking too much about something I don't want to talk about or if there's something I want to talk about but i'm afraid to. ..........it feels good to know I"m not the only one

wooo, you are NOT the only one !!!!!

[geez]

Update: I made no mention of me obsessing about the time in my appt today but I did ask her to move one of the clocks (the one I could see while sitting down). She obliged and said that some clients need to see the clock while others find it to be a distraction.

PS - my session was exactly 60 mins today.

[zooropa]

I wonder what it would be like to be in there and not have my eye on the clock. I mean, sometimes I am not aware of the time, when we are doing trauma work and my entire focus is on not dissociating, or when I AM dissociating, or too scared to not hide my face. But mostly, if I'm there and aware, I am conscious of the time.

I know I look at the clock more when I want T to change the subject. I always look at it when we are about to start trauma stuff. I have this thought of wanting it to say it's time for me to go, and never wanting to go, all at once.

[geez]

Originally Posted by zooropa

I wonder what it would be like to be in there and not have my eye on the clock. I mean, sometimes I am not aware of the time, when we are doing trauma work and my entire focus is on not dissociating, or when I AM dissociating, or too scared to not hide my face. But mostly, if I'm there and aware, I am conscious of the time.

I know I look at the clock more when I want T to change the subject. I always look at it when we are about to start trauma stuff. I have this thought of wanting it to say it's time for me to go, and never wanting to go, all at once.

((zoo)) you should maybe try and ask the T to move the clock/hide the clock from your view? It would be interesting to see how that effects you during your time with T.