Don't want to go to T

((((ptsd)))) This must have been so hard to hear. I admire your courage for getting through it!

I'm glad you can still text her and that you know exactly when you can text her. That might feel good at some point, the reassurance that 'this is okay to do'.

I hope it might lead to more talking about boundaries and how we each get to establish them for ourselves, to create boundaries that feel good to us, that are healthy and protective and require us to be direct, firm, yet not angry or punitive. Very helpful to be able to do this in our own lives.

I'm sorry your session was painful today

Am I still allowed to text her if I feel like cutting though??

That is a good question, and I think you and she need to talk about this more specifically. She told you to text her if you felt like cutting, so she needs to clarify this for you.

You're right we definitely need to clarify that. I wonder if I am allowed to text her and ask her that even though I saw her today...I think that it is valid. No?

Yes, if she would rather not to clarify via text, then it will be out there that it needs to clarified at the next session.

Thanks Echoes. I think that I am going to text her to see what she says. Thanks again!!

Yes Cats, great idea to point out that you are not clear on it and anything else you are not clear on. If she does not text or call back, perhaps just write down you're concerns and questions as they arise about the new boundaries so you clearly understand everything. Having FULL understand will make this change go much more smooth for you and T.

Boundaries are hard! So glad you got a hug and can still contact her.

I agree that boundaries are hard!! I hated when my T changed her rules so she doesn't reply in detail to my emails, and only replies once a week (except to change my appointment). I know they are for our own good, but it hurts!!

I wonder why she teased you about the hug, though. That seems a little mean. I'm glad she will still hug you!

Well I sent her a text asking her if I am still allowed to text her if I feel like cutting and she said yes.

(((((Cats))))))

Just caught up on the thread. Sorry you are having a hard time. I agree that it was mean to joke about the hug. Either you do or don't hug unless it is special circumstances. That would be a super hard thing to let go of if you were used to that. Thinking of you...........

I told her in the text that when I asked her for a hug and she said no that I thought that she was serious. She replied saying "Hugs are also on the damn boundary list. It's because patients were complaining that they were uncomfortable with hugs...crossing their boundaries...there have been many harassment claims against a variety of doctors...that it's making us paranoid." I replied saying that "I promise I won't charge you with harassment if you hug me."

But we do have to understand the liability issues that t's have to deal with. For their own professional safety, if they choose to eliminate hugs, that is certainly a reasonable perogative.

I can understand that but I don't think that she is going to eliminate hugs because she did end up giving me a hug today...

I hate when boundaries change....but I am thankful, at times, that they are there.

A lot of people here post about their T's hugging them or holding their hand...and I was always envious....and I fantasize about that very thing at times....But tonight was the first time I thought to myself, "If T were to hug me, he'd feel how disgustingly fat I am, and that would be awful.".....T has a beautiful skinny wife, and I am the complete opposite....So, now I feel better about not getting hugs from T.

Oh MUE! I am sorry it took that thought to make you feel better about the hug thing!!

Aww, it's ok. At least it worked....

I guess it's a good thing that it worked.

I wish things were like they used to be. This has been a month of very hellish T sessions for me. Hard to deal with. Thoughts of SI...

Really struggling. Trying to get some sleep but just not sleepy tired. I am mentally drained but physically still wide awake. 10hrs until I see my Pdoc again tomorrow. Wishing that the urge to SI would ease up a bit. It's been a LONG, HARD day. -Sigh-

My Pdoc did text me back tonight to help me a bit with my wanting to SI. It was a little helpful. I am grateful that I am still allowed to text her if I am feeling like SIing, I was really afraid that she was going to say no that I wasn't allowed and would have to wait for our now scheduled phone calls. That I am appreciative for...

Has anyone else ever gone through anything similar to this with their T or Pdoc in the past or a going through something similar to the right now? Just feeling sort of alone in this and I guess I am starting to try and grieve not being able to call my Pdoc 24/7 if I need to...

I'd imagine that grief is definitely a part of it.....Adapting to change is difficult, especially when the change puts limitations on you that help you feel sad or trigger other feelings that may not be rational, but just "are". Remember that it's ok to feel whatever you're feeling - and that you don't have to act on any one particular feeling. It's not easy, but the feelings will eventually dissipate and can also be addressed with pdoc during your sessions or the next time you're able to speak with her.

cats it was so hard to read this i hate when T just put general boundries up because they are supose to or something like that. i can understand if it is a boundry that is spesifically decided to help you. i feel a boundry that may be helpfull to someone else may hinder your progress.grrrrrr i'm so sorry this is so hard and hurtfull.i remember how i felt when my T put her foot down about sending her letters and e-mails.it hurt so bad and i felt so much like i did something horrably wrong.i'm sorry if this isnt helpfull i just wanted you to know i am thinking of you and all.not always good about what i say. just know it is said with bunches of care and not meant to hurt.i just couldnt not respond

Hey hun... (((((((((huge hugs))))))))))

Yeah I have had similar things happen before, one very recently but I am kinda afraid to write about it as I am always paranoid my T will read this stuff. But she basically told me I was allowed an extra session if I needed it every so often, made me believe I was safe to do it as I was extremely reluctant about it due to past hurts, I used this form of contact only twice in the space of over a year and then the last time I asked for it she told me If I decided to have this extra session that I was not allowed anymore! I have told her how much that hurt me,mainly because it triggered of things from the past which she knew about and because she was the one who convinced me it was ok to ask for an extra session and that I shouldnt feel bad about it. It was even her suggestion to have them, I never thought I would be allowed it. The first time I asked for one I actually SI pretty bad to punish myself for asking. She knew all this and still did what she did.... Even though as Farmer said about how people are allowed to change their boundaries or rules which I agree, I think it can still hurt a lot and sometimes it feels like we are at the merci of T and what they want to do and for me personally it makes me feel so pathetic, out of control and like I have no say at all.

PSTDcats- I am sorry you are having to go through this but I am glad she didnt remove texts completely or hugs