Therapy... does it actually help?

Okay, I'm asking this question, because I've occasionally thought of therapy. I've discovered there might be a programme locally where I can get affordable therapy (just about affordable.)

If I'm going to set aside time, and money, and emotional investment in this,I want to know... does it actually help? I'm not saying does therapy "work", as in fix someone. I know it's more complicated than that. But does it actually help? I keep reading about people falling in love with their therapists, crossing lines, real or imaginary, just recently I saw a thread about people keeping photos of their therapists... I don't want that kind of relationship. I just want someone to help.

If I end up paying for therapy, and then find myself obsessing, or transferring, or getting muddled etc, then what's the point of therapy. Is every story just a horror story, or disaster avoided... or does it ever actually do more good than harm?

I have found therapy very helpful (and I've never fallen in love with my therapist, had a problem with crossing the line, or hunted for photos of my therapist). It is quite possible to have a professional relationship with your therapist without all the complications, and it is quite possible for therapy to really be a benefit.

My therapy changed my life. Where I was and where I am now are very, very different and my life is so much better.

Yes, it helps. The other stuff is just for fun.

I've had a little of the muddling/transferring/obsessing and it has been worth it for me. A little of being obsessed, over a period of a few months or so, let me take it seriously enough for it to make a difference. I think that if you're aware of those possibilities ahead of time, it can help you know what's going on if it starts to happen, which would make it easier. Also, there's nothing to prevent you from deciding to quit at any point.

I too have found therapy very helpful. I have never fallen in love with my T, or crossed boundaries, or had major conflicts. My previous two t's were not what I needed, but my current T is amazing and has helped me so much! Since I pay full price, out of pocket, for my therapy, I can guarantee that I wouldn't be going if I didn't think it helped.

The only thing is, you have to trust the process, you have to be willing to work, and you have to find a therapist that is a good fit for you. If you can do that, then it can help.

It definitely helped me a lot. And I'm not even very attached to my T. It is possible to have a relationship with T without the whole transferrance/obsession/love stuff, but it depends a lot on you and what kind of person you are.

i have the exact same issue. i could really really use some guiding on some issues of mine...... but i don't want additional mess in my life. i have more than enough as it is...... and to worry on top of it that my T did not call and if they care...... *shrugs*, no thanks.

i am not a person who would for people easily...... but what if THEY manipulate you to this?

Yes, therapy has been very helpful to me. It has changed my life. I haven't had problems with transference or obsession. My T and I have a very close relationship, which enables us to do deep work. We both have strong boundaries. I wish I had discovered therapy years ago as it would have been great to start turning my life around earlier.

Any mess is pretty much one's own so no way to tell what you will "get". I had a lot of mess of various kinds and a lot of help. If I had to go through the mess again to get the help I did, I would.

If nothing else, having someone to talk to is priceless.

Yes I do believe therapy is very helpful. But I also found the right therapist. This is only my second one. All I can tell you is make sure you are comfortable, listen to your gut. I spent 5 months with a T that was not working for me. I should have trusted my gut from the begining, but I stuck it out thinking I was the one who was resisting therapy. Now that I am with current T I can see the difference trust makes. I can be confusing and hurt at times, but it does work.

What therapy does for me is I have a support system until I can get back on my feet. Someone to talk to and she helps me to look at thing a little differntly. Sometimes she is a teacher, a cheerleader, or a trusted "friend".

Looking at myself now and how I was 3 months ago I can see a difference.

Sunny pretty much said it for me, except I have had quite a lot of (always negative) transference.... but I would add this, on a lighter note: I used to suspect I was crazy; now I know it. And I find that knowledge is better than suspicion; it makes matters less scary, more manageable.

Sittingatwatersedge is right if it is one thing I have learned is knowlege is power and with that power I have now become a new and improved me. I just started T sessions was scared cause I was still dealing with maybe I'm not maybe I am. I try to look at it as a team effort cuase T may know other ways of dealing with issues but I know what will work best from T's suggestions. Be honest every step of the way. Honest is the best policy I have as learned.

Although this seems to read more like a statement than a question... it's a good one. I think you might find this to be an interesting discourse on the topic.

http://bipolarblast.wordpress.com/20...otherapy-work/

Personally, I have been in helped in numerous ways, but it was a slow thing for me.

mgran, just wondering, Have you gone or decided to go to therapy?

Yes,Yes, Yes,Yes. I am alive today because of it. Yes!

yes, it has helped me......but yes, it has also hurt me in ways. However, I think the balance is toward the fact that it has opened my eyes to a lot of issues and needs I have that would perhaps have continued to go unnoticed, and mental/emotional problems that would have continued without any professional help whatsoever.....that isn't a pretty picture to me either, even though therapy has been hard for me and I feel like a mess right now and wonder what it can do for me right now, besides keep me from sinking further into a pit without any support. At least I have the support!

yes. im still alive and im not enaging in dangerous self-destructive activities anymore

When living in California, the only good psychologists & pdocs were private practice & cost an arm & a leg (or more) even with medicare. It seemed like everyone I went to would just sit there & listen & not really help me with any skills or offer other thoughts.....it was really a complete waste of money, but I kept going just to have someone to talk to.

So I move to KY.....& after a few years found that they have community mental health groups that are OUTSTANDING....not only are they outstanding, but their cost is sliding scale & if you can't afford to pay anything like for my DBT group.....they let you go anyway.....but only apply the sliding scale even that at a reduced rate to Therapy only. The psychologist is top quality (which really shocked me) & the psychologist who leads the DBT group is completely amazing. I have never found or been involved in any therapy that is this absolutely wonderful. I have learned more insight into my thinking & where I was coming from for the years & the help getting through the PTSD that was caused from the trauma I went through when my mother was dying of cancer. The whole thing has been presented in a very intellectual way which is the only way I tend to relate to things, but also being in the group & able to relate the concepts to real world situations really has made all the difference in the world.

I had gone through eating disorder treatment in California with NO HELP at all.....therapy from the time I lost my career in 1994 when anxiety & depression hit beyond control....in & out of hospitals for almost 10 years. I have to admit that leaving my husband in California was a good move on my part....but finding the help I need here has been a complete blessing. It's wonderful to start understanding myself so much better & seeing what is happening rather than being oblivious to it.....is really beyond helpful.

Finding the right therapy & the right cost is important in getting the help you really need.....don't just jump at the first person you find unless you are really sure of the fit....look around & search out what the community mental health providers are like. Being completely amazed at what they have to offer has really changed how I look at them now.

The best book on the hows and whys and wherefores of therapy is The Misuse of Persons by Stanley J Coen. Because all that muddling IS misusing, isn't it? And therapy is the way out of the muddle.
Or read Harville? He has a book that describes 7 or 8 stages of development, says if you get injured at one, you kinda get stuck there. What you might be reading here (at least in my case; I ended up deleting my post about my T's photo because I freaked out after I read it and the SANE one after it) are postings from people who got psychically injured at stage zero, ie pre-oedipally, pre-verbally, which is why it's a big deal to ASK for a photo of our therapist - as infants, we never knew if someone was coming back, and that does something to your brain, but you don't really realize it now, you THINK it's just about the photo. But by working up the nerve to TALK to t about it, you start to trust, start to build good new brain wiring. Some t's call it "emotional muscle" - I told my t to STOP SAYING THAT because what does that sound like to you, or is it just me that has a dirty mind? Can we do a poll?
Anyway, I would say it helps, but it's like AA, it works if you work it. I AUTOMATICALLY say no to EVERYTHING my t says. He has to preface everything with a "this is just off the top of my head" or something like that, to get me to STOP AND LISTEN. I would like to know what personality quirk THAT is, that I'm doing, besides being a witch! If you don't do stuff like that, if you are able to hear and respond, you will get something from therapy.