Is there something you'd like to tell your therapist but you can't?

Dear T,

Thank you for encouraging me to come in today. I faced my fear! I read you a letter of my appreciation to you. That was very hard to do, but something that I felt that I needed to do. I needed to let myself be okay with our relationship. I needed to stop fearing this bond that I have with you.

Thank you for moving over and sitting by me on the couch. It made me feel like you really cared about me. You could see that I was really struggling to read the letter and you came over to sit with me to show your support. That meant a lot to me.

I feel very drained after our session. I also feel very proud of myself for having the courage to do that. I think this is a powerful turning point in my therapy.

I appreciate the note you gave me at the end of our session. It helped me to see that you did appreciate my letter and that you were okay with me being that open with you.

Thank you,

Squiggle

T - I'm sorry I blanked out today. I really am quite overwhelmed right now. I don't know how to handle these feelings, since I can't intellectualize my way out of them. This is really scary territory for me. I felt incredibly vulnerable today, and it made it really hard to do anything other than cry.

Dear T............

You are gone this week and so I have to go two weeks w/o seeing you. Which is fine. Except for what happened with my dad last week...............I feel like I am hanging on my fingernails at times. I miss you horribly. I was hoping last week when I told you I would feel anxious that you were gone, that you would offer me a phone call. And you didn't. And that's okay because you did tell me where you were going. I hope the time goes by quickly because I have so much to talk to you about............I hate feeling so dependant. Hurry back!
sg

T, I wish I wanted to write you but I don't. I have a major doctor apt tommorow and really wish I could just tell you and feel like you cared about that - about me. But I don't feel you would care one bit. I know that is no doubt just stuff in my head, you may care a little. I wish I missed you emotionally, but I kinda don't. Me

Dear T,

I am terrified of our relationship. I know that I told you how much you mean to me and how much I appreciate you. Now I am panicking big time. I tried not to, but I gave in. I had to find some relief from my anxiety. Please don't be mad at me. Are you disappointed? I can't stand that thought. I am sorry that I didn't do what you told me to do when my anxiety peaks like this. I guess I am weak..........

Squiggle

dear t, i need help with my youngest son, again. he is so out of control and lost. i think he is doing drugs again and his best friend just went to jail again. i really hope my son doesn't end up there. i told him i would visit him in jail but NO WAY would i visit him in prison. Two very different places. no thanks, just help. please. thank you.

Dear T, you encourage me to reach out between sessions if need be. You tell me I'm not a bother and that I'm a priority. last week, you told me for the first time in the 1.5 years I've been seeing you, that its okay if I ever want to open up about the therapeutic relationship. When I left that session, I didn't know what to do with that. Are you reading Psych Central or something? There is no way that you would know who I am if you are reading the post. I reached out to you last night, but your text back to me made me feel unimportant and like you didn't have time to be bothered. You also made me feel like I'm more closed off from the world than I think I am. I was as honest in my text to you. But you dismissed me and told me we will speak about it in next session. You can't tell me 1 day that I'm important and can reach out whenever I need to then brush me off 2 days later. Please, T, I am down on my knees begging. Please explain in a straight forward answer just one time, what the heck is going on. Cause, really, I have no F**king clue anymore.

Dear t,
I don't like it that I have to rely so heavily on you. It scares me to let anyone in as much as I have you. I feel like a failure when I have to contact you between sessions. I feel so scared right now and I don't know what to do

Dear T
I am disappointed I didnt hear back from you today. You told me to call you and leave a voicemail to let u know how i was doing, whether I thought I needed to come in or not this week. So I left you a message, it was confusing Im sure, just as the feeling are that I am having, it said I have been struggling, that I am in crisis, not doing well at work, having flashbacks, that I think I am beyond help and that I dont know if coming in will do any good, that I am beyond help but that I will trust your judgement. I really wanted you to call me back and tell me you thought I needed to come in. That you could hear the pain and hurt and sadness in my voice and had something you could say that would ease that. That you could do something to make all these feelings I am feeling not hurt so damn bad. But you didnt call me back. So does that mean that you think I am ok till our next appt? Im confused. I thought i would hear back from you one way or another. but maybe not. you are used to me being strong and getting thru things on my own. i wish you could see that maybe this once i am not so strong.

Dear T,

I know that I freaked out yesteday after we had such a great session. I was not trying to blow up your email box, but you told me to 'keep them coming' when I get into a panic like that.

Will you please email me back today? With something really long and detailed? I need that today. I know you will, but I just wanted to remind you how much I need that reassurrance and support from you right now.

Squiggle

Dear T,

I'm going on the 2nd week without a session. I'm trying to hold things together as much as possible. But i miss you, and my husband is not doing well. He is in terrible pain from all his illnesses and feels suicidal. I'm leaving work today to be with him at home. It's hard dealing with his problems as well as mine. I wish you were here to talk to. It feels like you've been gone forever.

I'm okay but thinking about last session. I want to do more art therapy because I can let go that way better than any other way. I'm scared of wanting to hurt you or myself. I love you but I want to hurt you because you don't love me. I have all of these feelings and I don't know what to do with them. They don't transfer to anyone else. It's not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to just live with these feelings like I've done my whole life with the other people. Please help me stop doing this!

Dear T,
I hate you. Oh wait, I've already told you that!
Crazy

Dear T,
I hate you. Oh wait, I've already told you that!
Crazy

Dear T,

Thank you for sending me an email this morning. I know that you keep telling me I need to trust myself and that I am doing what I need to do to heal. You keep encouraging me to continue what I am doing and that you think I am doing very well.

I agree with you. I have been working very hard! I am proud of the accomplishments I have made. But, I am afraid to be this close to you. It frightens me terribly!!

Squiggle

Dear T,
I am so glad you are back from vacation and I have had two wonderful sessions with you this week. We make a great team!

Why can't you tell your T that?

Dear T
Thanks for squeezing me in this week. I know I had to request it when I really wanted you to notice that I needed to come in. Im really sorry I have been so reactive to what you have been saying lately. You told me today when you scheduled me that you are going to have to be careful with what you say and your gestures because I have a "sticky mind". Im worried youre going to tell me I am going to have to see someone else because you cannot policce what you say or gesture and if i am going to be freaking out over every little thing we just cant work together any more. But we have been together for over two years and this is only happening now because i am really weirding out now, its just a cycle i am going through. but how do i tell you this. i have been doing something bad that you dont know about. i have been taking a med that wasnt prescribed to me for over a year now and it has kept me stable but I have run out of it and thats why i think i havent been doing so well. how do i tell you this. i am afraid i will get into trouble.

Dear T,

I know you are disappointed in me. You wanted me to use better coping skills. I feel like I have let you down. I am sorry.

Squiggle

Dear T,

I wish you could go to my graduation on Friday. When I started therapy with you three years ago, I could have never imagined that I'd actually be in college right now. You have helped me so much, and I wish I could tell you how grateful I am and how much you mean to me.

Dani

T,
I really want to cut. I want to cut all the bad stuff out of me. But I'm afraid if I did there wouldn't be anything left.

It hurt my feelings that you charged me extra. It came as quite a shock and I will never ever be able to tell you that.

Dear T, i understand the need to call and confirm someone appt.
HOWEVER, TWO DAYS AHEAD OF TIME!!!! it just really freaked me out. i thought i had a appt tonight when it is actually tomorrow night because the confirmation call was yesteday WTF!!!!!

can i just be not on the call to confirm list? i haven't ever no-showed WTF!!!!!

not happy.....are you trying to tell me you hate me again?????

T, I am seriously so mad at you right now. CoY

T,

Please...please don't refer me on.

Don't leave me.

Please magically know how much I'm struggling with what we talked about and contact me.