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#1
Sep 18, 2011, 12:55 PM
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Has anyone experienced this with your therapist? (or even as a therapist)
What was your experience? How did it help you in the long run? (more info on confrontation in therapy)
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
Last edited by rainbow_rose; Sep 18, 2011 at 02:52 PM. Reason: added link |
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#2
Sep 18, 2011, 03:27 PM
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Oh yes, a few times, actually! It helped me to realize that my T had feelings, just like I do and that sometimes, I need a nice dose of reality.
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 rainbow_rose
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#3
Sep 18, 2011, 03:45 PM
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I confronted my T on something I wasn't happy with about her and how I felt my time wasn't being valued. She heard me and apologized/empathized.
She has also confronted me on a few things and while it stings it's necessary. I'm just thankful that she was so honest with me.
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
| rainbow_rose
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#4
Sep 18, 2011, 05:02 PM
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My T confronted me in a gentle way about my tendency to beat myself up/be hard on myself, at least several times. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more times, but they went over my head.
The first time I remember is when he suggested, after I discussed something difficult, that I perhaps might have "tender and kind" feelings towards myself going out into my week. I snorted in disgust, and then said to him that I thought that was how he felt towards me. He smiled. The second time he said that he observed in my journal writing that I was hard on myself. He said he had to stop himself from making me feel better about the things that I was being hard on myself about. I shrugged. The third time made more of an impression on me. He said something like it's good that you are concerned for other people's feelings and that you defend other people for a living and that you have a lot of gentleness and respect towards others who are suffering or struggling, BUT, I wish you would consider adopting some of this perspective towards yourself. I heard him. I don't think I acknowledged that I heard him, but it did help me shift towards a more empathic experience of myself. So where are you going with this? I assume you're not doing research for a paper or something. Anne |
| rainbow_rose
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#5
Sep 18, 2011, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
thank you for answering! 
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~
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#6
Sep 18, 2011, 06:18 PM
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Yes, My T has confronted me on many times on numerous topics. I am not a bg fan of when she does that.
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| rainbow_rose
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#7
Sep 18, 2011, 06:39 PM
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I had just a bit of this in my session on Thursday.
We were talking about my self image and T said that I'm an attractive person. I started laughing and said, 'You've got to be kidding me. No I'm not!' So quickly answered, 'Yes, you are!' Annoyed, I quickly retorted, 'No. I am NOT.' This was right at the end of our session so the matter was quickly dropped. Kind of funny as I think back on it, because I am not a confrontational person. I run from conflict. It scares me. It wasn't much of an argument, but very out of character for me to respond back to her like that. 
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| rainbow_rose
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#8
Sep 18, 2011, 07:56 PM
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Quote:
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#9
Sep 18, 2011, 10:30 PM
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everyone's confrontations sound so nice and gentle. gah, my t does this every time I talk to him. too much to remember. Telling me to be more gentle with myself probably wouldn't even count as confrontation with my t.
One time in couples t, confrontation hurt but helped I think- helped me change how i was acting toward my then bf. More recently, t made a more gentle suggestion that i could do something similar w my Dad. In context of "taking my side" about a lot of other things related to my Dad, this suggestion from t seemed helpful. I was able to understand since it was the same as the issue with ex-bf. Another time toward the end of couples t he was confrontational in a way that seemed mean... prefaced with the phrase "I hate to break it to you, but..." It seemed like he was trying to get me show anger. I have plenty of posts about confrontational things about how I feel about my appearance. That wasn't really helpful. More recently, it felt like he was being confrontational about something with my friend, but I didn't understand what he was getting at. He said he was in the depression with me. At the next session he said he was trying to help me understand my needs- (I think he meant what I was getting out of the situation)- so I could do more with the efforts I was making to help my friend. I'm not too clear what he meant. When I asked him at the next session, he had forgotten. The last 3 sessions I've brought up questions about whether therapy is useful for me. That seems confrontational too. |
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#10
Sep 18, 2011, 10:48 PM
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I confront mine all the time. She has probably confronted me me too, but I tend to remember mine more because it is when i want Something explained about how therapy works.
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#11
Sep 19, 2011, 09:03 AM
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Confrontation is hard. I am still reeling from a rather hard exposure several weeks ago. I took all my ativan and drew angry pictures with my T in them. Now I am dealing with a serious issue that I was unaware of because I disassociate. It needed to happen. I hated it. Now we are working on real important stuff so I can take care of myself. Little me cant help but feeling like she gave me a "therapy spanking". I intend to draw and color a paddle. Now I feel as if she could confront me on anything and it would be "No Big Deal"! Maybe one day I can color a happy picture with her in it. I have not confronted her yet, because we have only seen each other 16 times and the r/s is still new. I am still afraid of her.
__________________
 laceyluHiding Hurts, Sharing Helps 
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| rainbow_rose
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#12
Sep 19, 2011, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
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#13
Sep 19, 2011, 01:02 PM
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I got numerous therapy spankings. I think a steady dose is damaging and I think it's going to take a long time to recover from this. I think there are a few Ts out there who are acting out their stuff. Best to know this early on, and I'm going to ask some example kinds of questions when I interview for my next T. I will be explicit about this stuff and not rely on general impressions that I have. That's where I went wrong.
Sorry to hijack! But confrontations are okay...in small doses. |
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#14
Sep 19, 2011, 01:31 PM
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I do not view confrontation itself as punishment (eg. spanking) (for me, even writing that word is very distressing somehow - very silly). Perhaps because I am in a traditional confrontational field and I feel competent at handling confrontation from various parties. But I have recognized times where a therapist was seeming punitive or like they were yelling at me and I usually just ask if that is the intent and if not to please tell me because their interaction seemed punitive to me. In my (limited) experience, if a readjustment was made, we could proceed. In the case where it was not, I got rid of that t. I can punish myself for free and was raised by punishment experts - no need to pay a t for that.
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#15
Sep 19, 2011, 06:09 PM
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Quote:
__________________
laceyluHiding Hurts, Sharing Helps
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#16
Sep 19, 2011, 06:22 PM
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No I haven't experienced it -yet, but I am waiting.......
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| rainbow_rose
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#17
Sep 19, 2011, 06:30 PM
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Quote:
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| rainbow_rose
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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