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  #76  
Old Mar 15, 2012, 12:37 AM
Anonymous32437
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come on...go there...i haven't given my annoying neighbor something to scream at me for making too much noise in a long time (not that he is oh so quiet or perfect or attractive or nice or geez anything..he complains about my dogs but really i could have plastic fish & they would make too much noise...)

can ya tell i just love having HIM as a neighbor...even my pdoc knows & loves this nut job...i babysit my regular doc's dog...her husband the state trooper drop's it off..in uniform..just to piss this nut job off...he has bullied everyone in my development off & they all cower from him except me...i smile at him..i've lived here longer than anyone & was a cop...i am not going to let him ruin my life...just because he is miserable...
Thanks for this!
growlycat

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  #77  
Old Mar 15, 2012, 01:09 AM
Anonymous37798
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Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
You would all scream "TMI" at me through the internet if I told you.

That's one way to get everyone's curiousity up!
  #78  
Old Mar 15, 2012, 02:25 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Think weird sexual stuff then go one weirder. I just want a normal personal life but my past has screwed me up sexually for life.
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  #79  
Old Mar 15, 2012, 05:11 AM
Anonymous100300
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunrise View Post
Another was telling my T how I had had fantasies in which my husband died. It seemed like his death would solve all my problems, so I used to daydream about it. I know it's awful to essentially wish someone would die, so I felt very embarrassed admitting that to T.
Okay this was so helpful. Wow I thought I was the only person to have those daydreams...although I've never told anyone before.
Thanks for this!
pbutton
  #80  
Old Mar 16, 2012, 03:58 AM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna View Post
...everything I do is to excess...
That's the spirit!
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Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #81  
Old Mar 16, 2012, 07:44 AM
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rockymtngal rockymtngal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WantingtoHeal View Post
With the masturbation issue, how does one know if it is being used to take away the anxiety or being used as an unhealthy thing? What is healthy and what isn't?

It's something I feel HORRIBLE about. Just HORRIBLE. No one ever talked to me about it. I thought it was abnormal for females.

Do other people have this awful shame about it?
Sorry to bring back the masturbation topic, but for those people who feel weird about it, or just need some education on it, a good resource is http://dodsonandross.com/ It's quite a liberal website,but it has good information.
  #82  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 09:10 AM
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Leah123 Leah123 is offline
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The most embarrassing thing I can think of right now, harder than sex, harder than masturbation, harder than abuse... is money. How expensive therapy is and needing to budget, and dealing with my anger when I feel overcharged and nickled and dimed. Dealt with that yesterday, not easy.
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Thanks for this!
Wren_
  #83  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 09:33 AM
bunnylove45 bunnylove45 is offline
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I don't have a censor and I talk about everything, I mean everything. I'm very open with my feelings and emotions and do not have any embarrassment sharing them. I've talked about being molested, all my sexual experiences, my anxiety, my panic, my weird OCD rituals, my challenging life as a single parent raising a profoundly disabled son. I'm not there to be liked, well kind of! But, in truth I'm there to help sort through my life story.
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  #84  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 09:37 AM
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healed84 healed84 is offline
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I went pack and read my response to this post.. It was a little over a year ago, and I said I can't believe you all are able to talk about sex with your Ts.. I could never do that. HA! Now we have talked about the rape, my sex life with H, whether I find it pleasurable. Funny, how things that need to come out, do. Now, when those things come up, its just a normal conversation!
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"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
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Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #85  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 04:48 PM
sittingatwatersedge sittingatwatersedge is offline
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I thought of a different kind of embarrassment when I saw this.
Keep in mind that I am one who doesn't believe in 'unconditional positive regard', inside or outside that little room.

How much risk of derailing therapy is there, in talking about the disconnects? the days T was a little 'off', the careless judgmental word, the wrong reading of a comment, the failure to validate, the failure to encourage..... the effects of mixed messages (like someone posted recently, the email me any time and then no answer kind of thing), etc?

wouldn't a T receive mention of say just a few of these, as resentment building up over time in the client? when on the contrary, these things were not talked about at the time out of a feeling of respect and realization that Ts are people too, no one is perfect, etc? still the pile is there, and starts to teeter a little....

Sure it's better to mention something when it happens; but not everyone can do that, and then the opportunity is gone. Unless it's brought up again later with other things and then what is the degree of risk?
Thanks for this!
1stepatatime, growlycat
  #86  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 04:58 PM
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CantExplain CantExplain is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge View Post
Sure it's better to mention something when it happens; but not everyone can do that, and then the opportunity is gone. Unless it's brought up again later with other things and then what is the degree of risk?
Madame T says the opportunity is never really gone. You can always go back to it.
__________________
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Add that to your tattoo, Baby!
  #87  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 05:19 PM
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wotchermuggle wotchermuggle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328 View Post
I guess I will get this started. My topic for tomorrow is masturbation. Holy Moly!
I've talked about somebody else's masturbation. Totally mortifying.
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  #88  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 08:02 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I find seeing a therapist is more embarrassing than any specific topic discussed there. Sex is not that big of a deal for me to talk about. Humiliation is embarrassing to me.
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Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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Thanks for this!
CantExplain, wotchermuggle
  #89  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 08:43 PM
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Kacey2 Kacey2 is offline
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*********TRIGGER WARNING*************** Graphic**********SEX******

I tried to figure out how to post this anonymously but I can not seem to be able to.



I have talked to my T about so many things. When you grow up in an incestuous family, so many things in your life are messed up......obviously sex for starters.

So a year + ago we had a death in our immediate family and I was in the house with my "person who taught me the birds and bees" as a child. This person is now in retirement and I am a young adult. I became really turned on and didn't know if I should suck his **** or ride it. It was so bad I had to go and m******** alone and recreate it all.

That was horrible to tell t.
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Thanks for this!
Bill3, Leah123
  #90  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 09:51 PM
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1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squiggle328 View Post
I did it!! I almost died, but I talked about masturbation. I ended up crawling out of my seat onto the floor and hid behind her desk!! OMG! I was just about to lose it. I asked her to give me a 5 minute break.

Then she came to the floor with me and started asking me questions. She was trying to figure out why I was hurting so bad. By now I was sobbing. I had so many thoughts going through my mind. The hurt that my husband has done to me. The thoughts that we could never have a fulfilling sex life together. The pain that I have because I am turning to other things to fulfill that need I have. I don't want to do that. I would rather have sex with my husband, but he can't. So what am I to do?

I was so embarrassed. I cannot even begin to express to you how it felt to admit that to her. I did have my notes written out for this session. Once she started reading them, she knew. I didn't come right out and say it, but it was obvious what I was talking about.

Then she said it, "Are you masturbating?" Holy Crap! Talk about wanting to pee in your pants or throw up! She was very frank with the discussion. She didn't seem to be shy about it at all.

We did talk about the stalker thing and she asked me, "If this had turned out to be someone else (other than your husband) how would you feel about it? Would you turn him into the police? Would you think he was dangerous? Would you be concerned that he would do this to someone else?"

I had to be honest and tell her yes. Then she said, "Then why are letting your husband off the hook? Why is he different than it being someone else? He has done a criminal act. You can't ignore this. You are in denial that he was the one who did this to you. You can't absorb this pain, so you are ignoring it. You can't do that. You are going to have to talk about this. We may not talk about it today (if you can't) but we will talk about it. I understand that you may need a little time, but I can't let this go. It is my job to make sure that you are not stuffing your emotions again. It is my job to make sure you are handling this in a healthy way that won't harm you."

It was a GREAT session even though it was totally EMBARRASSING! I didn't tell her everything, though. I can't admit some things. She got enough out of me to let her know how she needed to help me. She said that if I want to tell her more, it would be okay. NOTHING is off limits in therapy. She said that I can talk about ANYTHING that is bothering me.

We will continue talking about this topic next week. She feels that I am holding back on something. She is right. There is something I can't tell her. I just can't.
Hey,Sqiggle
Wow....I am amazed at your courage to go there with your T.... And it sounds like you have an amazing T as well....good for you!!
  #91  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 09:56 PM
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1stepatatime 1stepatatime is offline
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Location: SW Fla.
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So far the most embarrassing thing that we talked about was self sex (as my T calls it)...T brought it up, it was a right after I first started therapy with her. I couldn't go there...was too soon... maybe it will come up another time, but I'm in no hurry!!
  #92  
Old Jul 10, 2013, 11:03 PM
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ShaggyChic_1201 ShaggyChic_1201 is offline
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I can't believe this thread has come back. I just re-read what I wrote then and so much has changed. That post and a few others like it were a turning point for me. Today that man is 8 weeks shy of being my ex-husband. I'm done with that chapter in my life. I may not have a new chapter, or even a new book yet, but this time with my T has been so incredible that I am unrecognizable (in a good way).

And ironically, I just discussed the frustrations that come from a high dose of anti-depressants with my pdoc. He matter-of-factly said, just take a medication holiday the night before you want to orgasm, and since I didn't have a partner anyway, I didnt have to be spontaneous. Eek. Way to cut to the chase doc!

Big hugs to all and I hope everyone is seeing at least some positive changes.
Hugs from:
CantExplain
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #93  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 12:04 AM
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unaluna unaluna is offline
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Location: Milan/Michigan
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Omg - this is the original "hair as a non performing asset" thread post #44!!! It should be bronzed!
Thanks for this!
BonnieJean, CantExplain, growlycat, WikidPissah
  #94  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 12:46 AM
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growlithing growlithing is offline
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I have trouble talking about masturbation and it's weird to me because I'm such a sexual person in real life and I have no qualms talking about that to most people. But for some reason, not her. It came up that I sometimes watch porn once because I was talking about this dream I had and porn was part of it. She asked me if I ever masturbate while watching porn... and I was like "no I watch it for the plot and character development. Who watches porn and doesn't masturbate?" and then she questioned why I watch the kind of porn (I'm a girl who likes gay male porn). I watch and I ended up getting weirdly offended and I still don't know why. It's an interesting question if you think about it.
  #95  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 02:48 AM
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Raging Quiet Raging Quiet is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Milky Way
Posts: 2,080
We talked about men waking up with an E******n in the mornings and about nudity yesterday.
Thanks for this!
CantExplain
  #96  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 10:38 PM
Anonymous37798
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I never expected to find this thread coming back around! It seems like so long ago that I had that talk with her. It does come up from time to time, but its not really a big deal anymore.

I guess what I am embarrassed about right now is that I am STILL seeing her after 3 years. I am ashamed that I need her like I do. I don't want her to know how much she is a part of my life. I think about her a lot! Too much. Most of the time, its when I am at home and feel alone. She ALWAYS comes to mind. Like a broken record that plays over and over and over again. Even when I don't want to think about her, I do.

I would like to ask her why I do that. Why do I think about her so much? Why do I have to look at her pic everyday? Why do I still struggle with erotic transference at times? Why do I think about her sexually? Why do I have a strong need to drive by her house? Why do I want to see pictures of her family?

Those are embarrassing things to talk with her about, but I would like to know why I am doing this. It happens everyday. Even when I try my best to put her out of my mind, she is still there. Sometimes I scream (not out loud), "Get out of my head! Leave me alone!" (speaking to my therapist)
Hugs from:
CantExplain
Thanks for this!
Bill3
  #97  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 12:33 AM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Dahling, try 20 years...

hugs, growly
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