[sjkero]

i know this has been a recurring thread on PC but i'm too tired and drained to find it to comment...

i just left my session and i'm already homesick for it and my t and i want to go back now. it happens as soon as i get in my car. it's almost a grieving process, really. it makes me sick to think it's going to be a whole 7 days before i see my t again. whether the session is good, bad, indifferent, i always leave with a sense of emptiness and immediately want to go right back to being in my t's presence. more recently, the weeks have been really dragging. it feels like 4 years pass between sessions. i have session on mondays, and tuesdays always seem to be the hardest for me. by noon on tuesdays, it feels like it's been months since i've seen my t, when it's actually been less than 24 hours it's the strangest thing, i can't even explain it. i guess it gets a bit better as the week goes on, but the neediness/clingyiness/emptiness of wanting to be back in session doesn't go away until friday or so, and that's only because at that point the only thing that stands between me and session is a weekend, which is okay with me because it's the point when i start feeling the excitement of anticipating the next session i'm wondering how everyone gets through it. it's tough. a lot tougher than i ever thought it would be.

[Wren_]

i find it really hard also ... i wrote a little about it a few days back here and there were a few suggestions that might help

have you told your T ever about how hard it is?

[growlycat]

I had a panic attack today at the end of my session. The thought of having to wait a week to talk again is so unbearable. Sessions have been painful and unrewarding lately. When I tell him I need him to be more supportive he says "what does that mean?" ...Mofo knows exactly what I mean.

[wheeler]

Yup, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes the 'in between ache' is worse when I don't talk or get out what I want to say in my session. So I'm pretty conscious of that and it's a good motivator halfway through the session.
I also see my T twice a week, and can text/call in between sessions, and that has helped too. But so far I haven't come up with anything that completely eradicates the longing.

[SoupDragon]

My sessions are a day later than yours on Tuesdays - but my feeling really map yours - Wednesday and Thursday really tough, weekends slightly better.... but then on Monday often dread sets in.

I wonder about it and think maybe it is a good thing for me in allowing me to learn about waiting for something, being in the moment and not acting impulsively - to learm to manage my symptoms / thoughts / desires and not be dependent on T.

If we can make it through that tough week and survive, what else may we be capable of?

Hugs to you - I know it feels yuk. Soup

[retro_chic]

I get this too. I see my T this Saturday which means it will have been 3 weeks since our last session. The wait has been torturous. I am going to ask for more regular sessions but think she is all booked out

[delicatefade26]

Woah I could have written this post! My sessions are on Mondays too-and up until Friday I just miss T and would love to go back again on like a Thursday-but T has a lot of clients and that would be expensive for me too! On Sundy the anticipation is huge-and I start "preparing myself". Have you talked about this with T?

[granite1]

the same thing started happening to me.at first it was what ever then i seem to like going and sitting in her office.it felt safe.one thing i have noticed is that when i am able to relax and interact with her.listen to what she she says and try to let that in that i feel a lot calmer inbetween sessions.i seem to be able to keep the thought that she will be there untill i see her durring our next session.most times i am so resistant and unable to talk or connect or anything and i leave there feeling way more miserable and frustrated.

Same here! My appointments are usually on Wednesdays - meaning Wednesday night and Thursday are typically awful and I send all sorts of stupid thoughts via email (but I'm finding it does help to reach out and have that contact), Friday can go one way or the other but I'm usually starting to calm down, the weekend is kind of blah/okay, and then by Monday and through Tuesday I'm all revved up again, and sometimes a bit like 'uh oh' (partly because of any embarrassing emails I sent before the weekend) and wondering what we'll talk about in session - but also just relieved it's just around the corner and I'll get my 'fix'...

Sometimes we do hypnosis, though, which I find puts me in a good relaxed mood for a while, and can delay the 'is-it-not-time-for-therapy-again-yet?'-blues by a good couple of days

Therapy gets boring after a while, right?

[sjkero]

i don't know how to reply to multiple posts in one posting (and i don't want to be obnoxious and post 7 times to reply to everyone individually) so i'm just going to write a collective response touching on what everyone said.

yes, i've told my t about this. not in a straightforward way explaining how bad it is, but she knows it's there. she told me doesn't forget about me between sessions and she hopes i "carry a part of her" with me between sessions. i mean, that's great and all, but at the end of the day that doesn't help me!! and, what does that even mean exactly?

she allows and encourages emails and texts (and calls too, but i've never called- too nervous!) if i am having a hard time during the week. but what about the times when i'm NOT having a hard time, but i just "need" her? does that make sense? i've never really been in crisis mode, but there are so many times i just miss her so much and just need to connect... and WANT to connect... and it's like all day, everyday. with her schedule (she's a well-established college professor, has a successful private practice, and a toddler), i don't think she'd want me to text or email just to say hi, and expect her to communicate back and forth with me during the week... you know what i mean?

i need to find some outside way to get over my neediness to be with her. i think about her NON-stop, and i think about all of the people she sees during the week and who she interacts with while i just sit around and obsess about seeing her again and not being able to for an entire week

Over Christmas and New Year when I knew I wouldn't see my T for a fortnight but I knew I'd have a lot going on and would feel like contacting her (but felt it would be inappropriate to!) I journaled every day - basically writing to T, letting her know every thought in my head. Then I printed it off and gave it in at our next session. Maybe you could try doing something similar, so even if you don't think something is 'worthy' of an email (I know the feeling of trying to think of a 'good excuse/reason' ) you can still put those thoughts down, maybe put them together in a sort of round-up of the week's events to send/give her each week/session? Just an idea. I know it can be tough to feel like you need that connection and feel like you can't just reach out for it as much as you'd like...

I guess we need some distractions, eh? I think part of my problem is that I really don't have much else going on in my life right now - because of the depression and anxiety I'm not currently able to work, and I don't really have much motivation or interest (or money!) for hobbies. I don't want to be hypocritical here, and I don't know your situation, but is there maybe something you could take up to fill some time and give you something else to think about? I'm trying to think of things I could do but so far I got nothin'... If you figure something out give me a heads up!

[KazzaX]

I have never experienced this but the first thing that comes to mind is this: could you write her a letter? Write it as if you're going to send it right now, but then keep it and show it to her at the next session? Something like that. Cause then you have gotten down the feelings of the moment and you could revisit that in your next session.

[sjkero]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Over Christmas and New Year when I knew I wouldn't see my T for a fortnight but I knew I'd have a lot going on and would feel like contacting her (but felt it would be inappropriate to!) I journaled every day - basically writing to T, letting her know every thought in my head. Then I printed it off and gave it in at our next session. Maybe you could try doing something similar, so even if you don't think something is 'worthy' of an email (I know the feeling of trying to think of a 'good excuse/reason' ) you can still put those thoughts down, maybe put them together in a sort of round-up of the week's events to send/give her each week/session? Just an idea. I know it can be tough to feel like you need that connection and feel like you can't just reach out for it as much as you'd like...

I guess we need some distractions, eh? I think part of my problem is that I really don't have much else going on in my life right now - because of the depression and anxiety I'm not currently able to work, and I don't really have much motivation or interest (or money!) for hobbies. I don't want to be hypocritical here, and I don't know your situation, but is there maybe something you could take up to fill some time and give you something else to think about? I'm trying to think of things I could do but so far I got nothin'... If you figure something out give me a heads up!

i am in a similar situation... i don't have much going on in my life. and you're right, it comes down to needing to find some good distractions!! when i'm left with nothing to do, my mind goes CRAZY. and i obsess, it's such a compulsion i can't stop. i am working, and i have a full-time job, but i hate it so i always find myself thinking about other things, and letting my mind wander... and this is the biggest thing that is always on my mind. i should try journaling, i think i will. the only thing is that it's not that i want/need to say things to my t... i just want to BE with her

[rainbow8]

I could have written your post too!! I go crazy after my session; it's whyI post here and email her the same night!! I'll write more later--got to go somewhere now, but want you to know I totally, totally understand your feelings!!!!

[mcl6136]

Yes, this is a big concern of mine. I feel like thoughts about therapy have become, at times, intrusive, actually and there are even times where I feel that being so INTO therapy has been destructive to me in the short term...in the service of some long-term growth.

Over time, things have calmed down as the trust has been established.

But it is still a struggle.

I am on a therapy break, and I feel much more stable, each day that goes by I feel like my "gear" is stowed better.....I have been willing to tolerate the mental disruption that therapy has brought my way. It's like moving all the furniture around in the basement with the lights off! Watch out, I could stumble in the dark.

In the end, though, there were whole cabinets, couches, lamps that were broken, that needed to be moved.

This being human thing is just not easy.

Hope you can maintain some semblance of stability and hang in there.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts......

MCL

[sittingatwatersedge]

I know I've had a very good session when I feel, for the rest of that day, and the day after and sometimes even the day after, sort of revved - it's obvious that there's some work going on in the hard drive, even if I can't put a name to it.

I try hard not to contact T between sessions..... maybe that will come easier in time, don't know.... right now the only way I know to get through the weeklong intervals is to come here ( to all you PC people !!!) and to keep journalling, although I don't do that as much as I should.

[rainbow8]

I just got back from my session and I'm feeling exactly how you described. It was a good session but not as satisfying as last week. I want to go back and do it over right NOW!!! I will probably do what I always do, and that is, start a thread for myself and email my T now. I have the tracking logs to fill out; I could do that too, but I will feel better emailing even though she won't email back.

I'm going somewhere with my H tonight but not looking forward to it too much. Still, it's a distraction.

So, I'm not much help with coping because all I can tell you is how I handle it.

[learning1]

I go back and forth, sometimes can't wait for therapy and sometimes more engaged in real life. After therapy sometimes I feel good about the session, sometimes more that t was pushing me. Even if he's pushing me and I'm upset, I sometimes wish therapy would come sooner so I could try to resolve whatever I'm upset about.

[shoez]

I was JUST about to write a post like this....wow I KNOW how you feeel!!!!! I get so depressed.. it feely like the only thing that keeps me going is T sometimes...

-_-

[Towanda]

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I am counting the minutes until my next therapy session. Things have been pretty intense lately with my T and I feel like there is never enough time to say what I have to say. I have a hard time getting my feelings to the surface, and usually reach that point just when the session is over which is so darn frustrating!! I do email my T in between sessions but thats not the same as having personal contact - again, can't get the feelings out.
I guess, like some of the other folk in here, I need some more distraction in my life. When I figure out what that is, I'll let you know