[pegasus]

I was'nt sure where to post this. And I've put a trigger icon on it just in case.

For those who don't know me, I have been having therapy with a psychologist for 4 years so far...
It does seem to be never ending!

I don't want to go into personal details, because it is very painful.

We have been working on trying to release the ANGER, but there is a lot of fear attached to it so I find it particularly difficult. (I got no sleep last night- worrying, got to take some meds tonight.)

I know I will get there eventually but it is so frustrating.

My T praises me when I do happen to express the ANGER but oh! its so hard!

Well thanks for listening.

[(JD)]

No problem listening

Learning to express our anger appropriately is a good skill to develop. Often, when we are angry, we act out or strike out in hysteria or rage, and that does no one any good, and can be harmful, in fact.

I find when I sense anger that it helps, if the opportunity of the situation allows, to tell the person(s), " This is making me very angry." I use that on the phone when trying to work a problem of billing from a company.... keeping calm and polite with the person I'm talking to, but letting them know how really upset I am and having a difficult time with the stress of it all... I get better results and don't feel totally worked up and hating myself afterwards.

Learning if the anger is really related to the current situation, or if it's a reaction from something else we're carrying around is a good thing too!

Yeah, it's ok to get angry... at the right things and for the right reasons (even Jesus got angry, remember?) Good wishes in this...

[ErinBear]

Hi Pegasus,

This is a really, really, really hard thing for me too! I saw my counselor yesterday and we were talking about this a little bit. Discussing anger of any kind has been a challenge for me....but boy....telling my counselor, face-to-face, when I have felt angry with him have been some of the hardest and scariest sessions we've had (for me). He was saying yesterday how glad he was that I had been able to express that in our counseling relationship. But boy-oh-boy, it's a toughie. For me, any anger is. It's just a hard thing. I'm learning about it too. I think I need to learn about it, though, and I'm glad we've been gradually working on it.

But it's still a toughie

Sending caring thoughts your way

Take care,
ErinBear

[pegasus]

Thank you for your wisdom Sky!

My ANGER is all related to the past. I was NEVER allowed to express that. Dreadful things would happen if I did. Therefor I feel great anxiety if ANGER arises.

I know it will take time...

[pegasus]

ErinBear,

I'm so pleased to know that I am not the ONLY one, who is struggling with this.

It is VERY VERY painful.

Pegasus,

Sounds like you are doing good work in therapy and have a good T.
I found it interesting that you chose a "trigger" icon when just bringing up the subject of expressing anger. (If I could start a post about this subject-- I would have done the same)

I am VERY fearful of anger........ my own, people around me -- I even have a hard time watching people get angry on TV !!!(if it's a live-real situation and not acting) Guess that's partly why I can't begin to watch any of those "reality" shows.

I find it nearly impossible to express any discontent. If I do reach out and state how I'm feeling-- my hands start shaking, throat gets dry and I dissociate.

Just last week my T. said some things that I should have spoke up about..... but I'm so fearful that he will get angry at my anger-- so I suppress it. That's why I think it is absolutely wonderful that you are able to express it with your T.!!!! I hope you are feeling good about your progress-- it sounds great to me!

mandy

[Rhapsody]

Feeling ones ANGER is the best way to release IT so that it can no longer control YOU.... I find a good way to do this is to take a tennis racket and pillow - hitting the pillow as I yell and scream.... saying whatever comes to mind.
WOW!! what FREEDOM I feel after the release of my inner wounds - the ones that hold all my ANGER in them.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( WARMTH ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( PEACE )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[ErinBear]

Hi Pegasus,

I think actually we have a lot of company in finding anger a difficult topic and a difficult emotion. I know other friends who really wrestle with it, too. And when I met my counselor, I was 39 years old, and I thought I never got angry at all. Ha! Now I think this wasn't true. I think I probably did, and just really, incredibly, fully jammed it deep inside. That was a survival thing for a lot of years. But I think the healthy, survival thing now is probably learning how to let it out, and express it in healthier ways. That's the tricky part. I'm still figuring that one out! But I keep working on it. I send you good wishes as you work on it, too, Pegasus.

Thinking of you,
ErinBear

[pegasus]

2b1better,

Thanks for your reply, sounds like you really understand.
Yes, I do know that I have a good therapist and I shall keep going.
It is easy to forget how much progress I have made. Even, a year ago, I would not have been able to talk about this to anyone.

Thanks.

[pegasus]

Rhapsody,
Thank you for your reply.
I do have some ways of letting off steam, in a safe way. I like your idea of using a tennis racket.

But I don't always feel able to do that.
I have a lot of work still to do in therapy.
Thank you.

[pegasus]

ErinBear,

Yep! I think you have hit the nail on the head!

You said, "Fully jammed it deep inside. That was a survival thing for a lot of years..."

Supressed ANGER, and for a very good reason. But like you say we have to learn how to let it out.

Sigh! I think we will get there in the end.

[wisewoman]

For me any show of emotion was danger, especially anger. I learned a great poker face.

[pegasus]

wisewoman,
Yes, we learn ways to hide our true feelings.

Trying to "undo" that.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Pegasus,

If you do not feel comfortable showing so much anger - then how about placing a pillow in a chair and then imagine that the pillow is the person that has upset you and then tell them how you feel.... hold nothing back, yell and use words out of your character - if it will release the anger.

((((((( HUGS )))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[pegasus]

Thanks for your help, but I can't cope with that. Back to distractions...

[Rhapsody]

Hmm - distractions NEVER worked for me - - - for I rarely have enough to keep me distracted for long.... I opted for the work on ME in order to release the HURT to enable HEALING.

((((((( HUGS )))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( DISTRACTION ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( PEACE )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -