What is is the wildest thing you ever asked?????

Ok, so this is a slight spin off from another posting. I have a really good therapist and I myself may just be the most unpolished client in the world.

Many months after the, "How many times a week do you and wife have sex?" question I tried again.

This time I asked............ "Does wife give you bl--j--s?"

T's reply:
"I am having a huge reaction to this question and I am on the ceiling right now. I am going to get myself grounded. Then he said, "KC, I know that you have really important questions regarding sex, given your history it really couldn't be any other way, and we are going to sort all of this out."

I blurted out it was a bad and stupid question.

T kindly spoke again. "KC you don't have bad and stupid questions. Let's try and find a more effective way to ask your questions."

How many of you also feel like you blurt out the wrong things to t's? If so are you willing to share that conversation here? How did your t's handle it? What do your t's do with those "personal" questions?

Once it occurred to me that my T might have cancer, so I asked her if she had it or had had it before. She said, "where is this question coming from??" I told her I just had a gut feeling that she did. She later mentioned how that question, coming out of nowhere, really rattled her. She did have cancer a year before I asked the question.

I have asked the one I see if she is reasonably competent and if she would tell me if she was not.

Wow Crazy, that is Crazy! Your intuition is a gift, truly.

[QUOTE=Kacey2;
This time I asked............ "Does wife give you bl--j--s?"
[/QUOTE]

That is for sure wild...did you ever get the question answered? haha

Naw, but instead of just one uncomfortable person in the room there was suddenly two.

I guess I'm not as brave and open as you are, Kacey2. Sure glad your therapist doesn't get twitchy when you asked those kind of blunt questions. Stick with him, he's a keeper!

Wow, I am not open like that! Part of me is jealous that you can speak so freely. I'm quite sure my T would fall off her chair if I asked her something other than the usual "Are you mad at me? Have I said too much?"

haha thanks. I have guessed a lot about my T, like asking when her birthday is on the day of her birthday. i think my paranoid, protective hypervigilance is overactive in therapy.

btw, you are very bold to ask that question of your T! I am surprised he handled it sooooo well. He's a good T, you got there.

OH! Once I was annoyed with my T for asking about my meds, so I asked her if she was taking any...

I'm having a crappy night but reading this post and then imagining asking my T just made me laugh. Thank you! Id imagine he would give me this look NO way he could keep a poker face. Part of me wants to ask for his reaction now.

Kacey, what would you had said or done if he answered the question?

Oh no, I could never ask my T any sort of "wild" question. She's too nice of a person!

Hm...we have asked our T lots of questions about herself... maybe one of the craziest was asking her if SHE was crazy. She said, "Yep I am, a little!"

My inner kids have no filter and a lot of curious questions about sex stuff. Theyve asked stuff that makes my heart stop.

Questions I have been asked by clients: How often do you have sex with your hubby? Do you masturbate? Have you "experimented" when you were younger? Is there any sexual topic that make you uncomfortable? Then just general sexual questions about how to be comfortable with oral sex, etc etc.

stormy, do you answer those questions? Do you also get asked more general questions like I want to ask my T, and do you answer them? Thanks.

I did ask my T if she goes to her own T.

Well, first off, I might have thrown up in my mouth a little.

Then it would have just 'unleashed the beast' so to speak. I probably would have asked him more questions each as personal as the last and he would be like, "oh my..........................what has happened to this conversation?"

We have encountered this before. His wife and him co teach skills training for DBT and one of the rules of DBT is no sexual contact between group members. I'm all about following rules and I just kind of expected them to follow as well. I just couldn't understand how they could abstain for so long. That's when t informed me (gently again) that the rules didn't apply to the group leaders. ?? what do I know??

Well does she?

Yah Stormy I want to know too. Do you answer those sex questions? And can you give us an example of how the conversation would go? Thanks!!

And on the flip side when you ask your t, what does she do? Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh my god, I'm dying right now, imagining T's face to the blowjob question!

It never really occurs to me to ask about T in our sessions. Outside of session I sometimes wonder "What is T doing right now?" or "I wonder if T likes (movie I'm watching/book I'm reading, etc)."

I guess it just feels wrong to ask him about his sex life...
It feels wrong to ask him about his life in general - like, why do I need to know that?

The only questions I really ask of my T are if I'm referencing a book or a movie. Like,

"Have you ever read The Phantom Tollboth?"

"No."

"Ok, well at the beginning of the book, it's talking about how the main character has no where that he wants to be and nothing is interesting and every time he gets to school he wishes he was at home and every time he's at home he wishes he were at school, and he's never happy, no matter what. I feel like that."

So. Yeah. That's the kind of question I ask my therapist.

Not judging, but don't you think that question's kind of indiscreet? I would never ask my T about her sex life. Such things don't concern anyone else.

Generally, I barely ever ask her things about herself. She's shared a lot about her life, but all on her own accord.

I'm with you on this one. There are just some things I would find rude to ask and completely none of my business to ask anyone, T or not. For me that's just manners, just what my momma taught me.

In therapy, it's not what you ask, but why you ask it.

I love this, PH! Did you make it up?