Welcome to couch # 18

stopdog, I know you said that you tried CBT before and it didn't work for you, but have you tried more than one therapist who does CBT? Or someone who has CBT as one tool and practices a more eclectic method? You just really sound like you'd be much more comfortable with a person who does CBT as at least part of their repertoire. My T makes things pretty clear and logical and doesn't shy away from the "how" or "why" questions.

CBT makes me homicidal. I know what I feel is not based on reality.

I don't think therapy is a religion. It is grounded in science; that is why it is easier for me to have faith in it.

For as much as I claim to be a Christian, faith is an epic struggle for me.

It is and is not scientific. It is only scientific when they want it to be and an art when they have nothing else to fall back on. The only thing that has helped me any is the neuroscience parts. But then why won't that woman just tell me the reason for her stupid questions and inane comments is to build neural pathways. That I can accept.

I will go away for awhile. I am obviously in a super foul mood. I appreciate the input.
Hope everyone's wed goes well.

My T only briefly talked about that portion of it. He focuses on suggesting what I can DO when I feel or think certain things. Very practical, when you feel X, tell yourself Y, or maybe try doing A, B, or C. Yesterday, he was telling me not to immediately shy away from feelings of shame or try to slam them down or talk myself out of them. I was pretty irritated and wanted to know WHY or what possible good that could do, so he explained the science behind the theory and what he hopes that will accomplish. I very much like the practicality of it, and that he is willing to discuss the neural pathways of the brain and the parts of the brain and their functions with me.

Okay, I really need to go get dressed and get to work. Talk to you guys later.

That's cool mkac.

Totally Off Topic. I woke up feeling okay this morning. Now out of nowhere, I am totally in a bitter mood. I'm trying to think what happened from the time I woke up (7am) till now Only 2 hours and 45 minutes later and I can't pinpoint it. I had 2 coco rice cakes and a piece of Lean Turkey Bacon for breakfast and drank a Cherry Coke Zero. Then I took a shower. In that time- H woke up. I started thinking about how my bosses could not grant me the day after thanksgiving off-but I already knew that last month when I asked (They are both doctors and work in hospitals) So, even though I am slightly annoyed about it I know its par for the course because of their jobs. So, I'm not sure where this is coming from. But I am annoyed on so many levels and in a really bad mood as if I just want to say F**k you to the world and just leave my life. Go far far away. And start over. But, I am already so lonely, so I doubt that would serve me and I don't have the resources to do that anyway. Ugh.

I also must get ready for work. Have a great day everyone.

Well Damn, by the time I catch up on last night and this morning, everyone is gone.... Day late and a dollar short story of my life.
Morning all... I see a PsyD and he is awesome at explaining things and he doesn't talk AT me but WITH me... and I appreciate that. He has no problem discussing the process and my need for a road map or standard operating procedure. SD maybe a different approach or type of therapy is what you need? It may benefit you to see someone with more education as they may be better suited to explain to you NOT in layman terms.

That is what I meant in my flippant, reductionist way. I am glad it is helping you.

Chopin-I didn't forget about you. I responded to your PM this AM.

Morning SD and TTGB, Wiki, MKAC and Chopin. Afternoon APT.

^ this.

aspertain: a drug that depletes brain activity

some of the MANY side effects of this are:
severe depression
irritability
aggression
anxiety
personality changes
insomnia
phobias

The healthiest way to drink caffeine is to drink coffee or tea. If you like soda, use soda with real cane sugar and no weird sweeteners.

ok...I'll get off the soapbox now..sorry.

Thanks Wiki. You are so knowledgeable!

Wiki can you hang here everyday at meal times, Ill tell you what I WANT to eat and you can tell me how its toxic or made from dead bovine eyes and then Ill just eat lettuce..... this is my new diet plan...

Thanks for this Wiki. There must be a lot of the stuff in Crystal Light, cuz I tried drinking that one time many years ago and it gave me terrible headaches. Nasty stuff eh? I've been drinking a lot of water lately, and ice tea for my caffeine in the morning. I don't like coffee!

Wikid beat me to the punch. Put the coke zero down and walk away.
(This coming from the woman who rarely drinks soft drinks, but when I do, real coke all the way. You can take the girl out of the south, but not the south out of the girl). ( I now buy the mexican coke made with cane sugar. I keep a case in the basement for when we have ailments. Coke is very nurturing feeling)

Right. I mean I live off of all this diet, lean low fat, fat free stuff (with the occasional pizza tossed in) and I swear, does it even matter? Because half that stuff just has a bunch of added crap for flavor that is bad for you anyway!!!

tuesday T was wearing honestly the male casual version of ttgby's fab boot shoes, a pair of classic grey hush puppy slip ons, which I don't usually care for, but they did look terrific on him. I say we find stopdog someone from earthmamma's school, literally - they should be smart enuf for her/us, but otherwise make do. and stopdog - oh, you are cute and you know it - methinks the lady doth protest too much!

Or you could go all pbutton. I never drink soda. I don't like it. Never have.

Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!

Guess I'll go walk the dogs and clean my house AGAIN because between the dogs and H-it does not stay in good shape for a day. Ugh. I'm sure this will improve my mood greatly.

Hi everybody!! I'm just about ready to head out to work. We have a test today oooooh!! LOL Week 3 of training is almost half over. Incredible!! Wasn't I just telling you guys that I got the job a few days ago? Hahaha. I have T today too, after work. What's the question of the day so I know what to pay attention to? LOL I'm going to tell T this evening that I'm ready to wind it down. I even checked in with my body (like T would tell me to do!) and the decision feels good, so I know it's right. Hope everybody has a good day! And good thoughts going out to those of us with t today!!