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  #1  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 05:24 PM
Anonymous32765
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When I seen T this week I text her to say I was going to be a few minutes late she text back and said that she had forgotten about our appt but would be there in half an hour.
I am not being dramatic but I was suicidal and she forgets... it is not the first time she has been late or forgotten and my doctor tried to ring her yesterday three times and she never rang him back. He tried when I was there too and she ignored his call. So I text her today to say I had been to the doctor and could I make another appt with her and she never text back. I am feeling so bad right now like she doesn't care. I am sick of this ****. I thought she cares but I am not willing to go through this again with T2 because as soon as I was mentioned sui with T1 she terminated me and I feel like this is what is going to happen here again.

I even told T2 about what happened with T1 and how she terminated and T2 said it was because I wasn't safe with her. WEll I am not safe with this T or any T. I am done with everything and everyone.

Last edited by Anonymous32765; Nov 15, 2012 at 06:10 PM.
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  #2  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 06:23 PM
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((((button))) when you see her next you need to let her know all of this; earlier she seemed to be calling the dr every day about you so maybe something came up on her end as far as the not being able to respond to either of you i know this hurts
  #3  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 06:32 PM
Anonymous32765
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Originally Posted by tigergirl View Post
((((button))) when you see her next you need to let her know all of this; earlier she seemed to be calling the dr every day about you so maybe something came up on her end as far as the not being able to respond to either of you i know this hurts
Maybe it did Tigergirl but I can't get hurt anymore. I can't rely on her or anyone. I can only rely on myself. She was caring and now she is not, she blows hot and cold and it hurts me all the time. I am not a demanding patient and this is the only time I have been in a crisis with her and she hasn't been there for me at all. I am kidding myself thinking that she or any therapist cares because they all abandon me when I am down. It hurts too much to risk getting attached or investing into this any more.
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  #4  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 06:50 PM
anonymous112713
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Give her a chance to explain her side, you don't know whats going on in her life. When you do meet again, bring this all up.
  #5  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 07:05 PM
Anonymous32910
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Slow your thinking down. This T does care about you. She has shown that with her concern that you get the right treatment for your depression. She has shown that by communicating with your doctor pretty regularly from what you have said.

You need to talk to her about your anxiety about this, but you also need to be willing to hear her side. She may have been in session all day and hasn't had a chance to get to you messages. She may have had an emergency come up. You are still safe. This isn't the old T.

Slow down and allow her to get back to you and talk to her about his. You are talking in absolutes (she doesn't care at all; she hasn't been there for me at all). You know that's not quite accurate. Slow your thinking down. Slow your reactions down.
  #6  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 07:06 PM
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Originally Posted by button30 View Post
When I seen T this week I text her to say I was going to be a few minutes late she text back and said that she had forgotten about our appt but would be there in half an hour.
I am not being dramatic but I was suicidal and she forgets... it is not the first time she has been late or forgotten and my doctor tried to ring her yesterday three times and she never rang him back. He tried when I was there too and she ignored his call. So I text her today to say I had been to the doctor and could I make another appt with her and she never text back. I am feeling so bad right now like she doesn't care. I am sick of this ****. I thought she cares but I am not willing to go through this again with T2 because as soon as I was mentioned sui with T1 she terminated me and I feel like this is what is going to happen here again.

I even told T2 about what happened with T1 and how she terminated and T2 said it was because I wasn't safe with her. WEll I am not safe with this T or any T. I am done with everything and everyone.
When you're really depressed, it's easy to make those sort of situations all about you. I know I have in the past. How could she forget me? More than once? When I'm doing so badly, why was it me she forgot? How could she do that to me?

I know from having survived it a few times that it can be very painful to experience. I know it has never actually been about me. Sometimes my T forgets, sometimes she forgets to write my name down, or writes it in the wrong day or time. She wishes she never did that to anyone. I know she has messed up and double booked people before, and she always feels so bad about it. It just something that happens, but it's about her, not me, or any of her other clients.

I know it's hard, when you're already so low, not to be hurt by something like this. I know it feels like you won't survive it again. Life is a bit like that though. We build up strength, and then we do unfortunately get hurt by those who are closest to us, and it really hurts.

The good thing about therapy is that it's the perfect place to look at your thinking and see if you're right, see if you could think about it another way, or even give your therapist a chance to explain themselves and say sorry. Even give yourself a chance to heal and recover in a way the doesn't feel possible right now. It doesn't have to feel possible right now, but you do have to give it a chance anyway. It is okay to feel hurt too. I always did.
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  #7  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 07:21 PM
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((((((((button))))))))

I have been so hurt by my T, and it's the worst kind of pain, isn't it?? It's awful when the person who is supposed to be there to help you is hurting you.

There are a lot of wise words in this thread. It IS good to slow down, to not think in absolutes, to wait to hear T's side, to be really honest about how you feel as soon as you have the chance. That's what T is for.

Hang in there and breathe and allow the possibility that where there is rupture there can be repair.
to you
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  #8  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 09:42 PM
adel34 adel34 is offline
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Hi Pbutton 30,
I'm so sorry you're going through all this right now! I hope your t does get back to you, and that you guys can work something out.
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  #9  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 10:06 PM
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How can she forget about an appointment, doesn't she keep a diary of all her appointments? If not..... maybe get her one hopefully she'll take the hint!
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  #10  
Old Nov 15, 2012, 10:27 PM
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It sounds like you did meet with her, just late? So it is not like she did not want to meet with you, just some bad record keeping. Goodness knows I am more than willing to say therapists are not all that great, but this seems like a simple forgetting in general - not done at you. Plus she did not say "I forgot and so we will have to reschedule" just she would be there late - a sign she cares and wants to meet with you. If I don't write appointments down, I forget them. NOt because I don't care about the person I am supposed to see, but because I forget the appointment. I agree many parts of therapy are bs, but this does not seem, from what written here, to be anything other than that she forgot to keep track of her calendar. Did you tell her how angry you are when you finally met with her?
Thanks for this!
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  #11  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 04:30 AM
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Quote:
I feel like this is what is going to happen here again.

I even told T2 about what happened with T1 and how she terminated and T2 said it was because I wasn't safe with her. WEll I am not safe with this T or any T. I am done with everything and everyone.
Your feelings of anger and being frightened are very understandable. But T2 isn't T1 and what is happening right now is one snapshot in a big photo album.

You might feel this way until you see and talk to T2, but give yourself room to feel other ways at some point too. This is what you are feeling now, and feelings are temporary, so be open to what comes next
  #12  
Old Nov 16, 2012, 12:57 PM
Anonymous32765
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So i text t today to see if she got my text yesterday about making an appt am she never replied. I am still real mad today. She said she was sorry that she got text and don't know why she hadn't replied. I am done with it. She forgot about me again and could make a good enough excuse. I am fed up, of Ll her pretend caring and pretend therapy.
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  #13  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 04:22 AM
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I'm confused, sorry button ... was her saying she didn't get the text in reply to the second text or over the phone? do you have a new appointment now?
  #14  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 08:49 AM
Anne2.0 Anne2.0 is offline
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Originally Posted by button30 View Post
She forgot about me again and could make a good enough excuse. I am fed up, of Ll her pretend caring and pretend therapy.
I don't think that failing to reply to a text means that you are forgotten about or that she doesn't care. It's just a text. Your interpretation of what it means and how you are imbuing tons more meaning into what was actually there is an issue that worth looking at. It is not necessary to see people's small, isolated actions as indicating something enormous about you or your relationship with them. Continuing on this path of making these kinds of connections will mess up your relationships in the future.

As for quitting T, I don't believe that T is necessary to live a good life, but sticking with it has been helpful for me. Whatever you choose, I hope it works for you.
  #15  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 09:22 AM
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wow button this all sounds so so hurtful. i can so completely understand the feelings of being unimportant and abandoned and all especially after what happened with T1 . she sure seems to be dropping the ball on this one all around doesn't she. do you think you could meet with her one more time to talk this out with her?to maybe determine if this T is working for you. i hope that if you decide this T is untrustworthy that you can please continue to look for a T that does work well with you. it is hard as H E L L to do it but so worth it to find that T that fits well .i hope it is this one .try to give her a chance to explain and figure out what is going on. do you have another appointment now
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  #16  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 01:26 PM
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I'm confused, sorry button ... was her saying she didn't get the text in reply to the second text or over the phone? do you have a new appointment now?
Hi tigergirl it was a replyt to the second text where I asked had she got my text about making an appt. SHe text striaght back to second text and sais she had got text it was opened but she missed it somehow. She offered me new appt but I was so mad I didn't write back because I am so hurt over her behaviour lately I am wanting to quit therapy forever.
  #17  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 01:30 PM
Anonymous32765
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wow button this all sounds so so hurtful. i can so completely understand the feelings of being unimportant and abandoned and all especially after what happened with T1 . she sure seems to be dropping the ball on this one all around doesn't she. do you think you could meet with her one more time to talk this out with her?to maybe determine if this T is working for you. i hope that if you decide this T is untrustworthy that you can please continue to look for a T that does work well with you. it is hard as H E L L to do it but so worth it to find that T that fits well .i hope it is this one .try to give her a chance to explain and figure out what is going on. do you have another appointment now
THanks Granite, I do think she is dropping the ball here and it does feel to me like she is playing games with me after I had just told her about T1 abandoned me in our last session.
I haven't confirmed new appt yet as I don't think I can bring myself to go back to her. I couldn't wait to get out of there last week too and T even asked was I wanting to just leave and I SAID YES. She was late and I thought that that was a very bad nistake to make with a suicidal client who was depending on seeing her
  #18  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 04:13 PM
Anonymous32910
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You seem to be putting a lot of stock on a missed text message. I've done that myself where I had several texts to look at and somehow missed one of them and didn't even know I missed it (which I guess is the definition of missing it). It wasn't that I was intentionally ignoring the text I missed; it was just an error (for lack of a better word) in scrolling through my texts.

She DID reply when she DID actually see a text from you. So, how is THAT poor behavior on her part? She has offered you an appointment. How is THAT poor behavior? How is this "playing games" with you?

Seems like much of this is your perception and expectation of being rejected rather than the reality of what is really going on. Part of that screwed up thinking that depression leaves us with. How about making this about you getting help from your T rather than making it about somehow being wronged by your T in you mind? You are only hurting yourself right now by putting up these barriers where there really don't seem to be any.
Thanks for this!
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  #19  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:03 PM
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You seem to be putting a lot of stock on a missed text message. I've done that myself where I had several texts to look at and somehow missed one of them and didn't even know I missed it (which I guess is the definition of missing it). It wasn't that I was intentionally ignoring the text I missed; it was just an error (for lack of a better word) in scrolling through my texts.

She DID reply when she DID actually see a text from you. So, how is THAT poor behavior on her part? She has offered you an appointment. How is THAT poor behavior? How is this "playing games" with you?

Seems like much of this is your perception and expectation of being rejected rather than the reality of what is really going on. Part of that screwed up thinking that depression leaves us with. How about making this about you getting help from your T rather than making it about somehow being wronged by your T in you mind? You are only hurting yourself right now by putting up these barriers where there really don't seem to be any.


THis is what is happening all the time with me. I try to come up with an excuse so as I don't have to talk to people again. My ex T called it self sabotage. I have been thinking a lot about it lately and maybe it is down to the depression that I think "everyone is out to get me" when in fact they are only being kind and thinking of me but past events have made me not trust anyone and be extremely suspicious of people.
These are things that I went to therapy for because I was treated so badly and deceived so much by my ex that I have to learn to trust people again.

I have done the same with texts too, I have opened them and read them and forgot to reply...I am just hurting so much right now though.
I think I am just looking for an excuse for her to mess up again, ususally I don't mind if she forgets or is late because it has happened a lot but this week I am blowing everything out of proportion and thank you for pointing that out. Sometimes I just need a reality check.
  #20  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:10 PM
Anonymous32910
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[/b]

thank you for pointing that out. Sometimes I just need a reality check.
You sound much better in this last post; more grounded. That's good. Did you set that appointment? How are those meds going for you?
  #21  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:11 PM
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It sounds like you did meet with her, just late? So it is not like she did not want to meet with you, just some bad record keeping. Goodness knows I am more than willing to say therapists are not all that great, but this seems like a simple forgetting in general - not done at you. Plus she did not say "I forgot and so we will have to reschedule" just she would be there late - a sign she cares and wants to meet with you. If I don't write appointments down, I forget them. NOt because I don't care about the person I am supposed to see, but because I forget the appointment. I agree many parts of therapy are bs, but this does not seem, from what written here, to be anything other than that she forgot to keep track of her calendar. Did you tell her how angry you are when you finally met with her?


No Because I wasn't angry then, she asked was I telling the truth when I said I wasn't mad and I said yes of course beacuse we all make mistakes, we are human and that it was ok and that was the truth then.
I met with her later and she did apologize again. This happened with t1 too, I called to her house and she answered the door and completely forget about my appt and sent me away for half an hour. Maybe I am just extra sensitive to this I don't know.
  #22  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:15 PM
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You sound much better in this last post; more grounded. That's good. Did you set that appointment? How are those meds going for you?
I didnt text her today because she doesnt work weekends so I will make appt Monday.
Meds are ok, they are making me feel terrible, sick and headaches and dizzy but in a better mood but maybe its just a coincidence.
I do feel better today thanks I have a habit of black and white thinking and when something upsets me everything flares up. There is always a black cloud following me around but I think I can run faster than this cloud if I want.
  #23  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:21 PM
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Side effects will probably level off as your body gets used to the meds. Glad to hear you sounding more self-aware.
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Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:26 PM
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Side effects will probably level off as your body gets used to the meds. Glad to hear you sounding more self-aware.
I hope the side effects do wear off. How are you feeling now yourself are you any better?
I keep asking T is there something wrong with me because my moods are all over the place but she keeps saying Button there is nothing wrong with you only the situation you are in.
  #25  
Old Nov 17, 2012, 06:30 PM
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I hope the side effects do wear off. How are you feeling now yourself are you any better?
I keep asking T is there something wrong with me because my moods are all over the place but she keeps saying Button there is nothing wrong with you only the situation you are in.
I'm still struggling with this depressive episode, but it doesn't seem to be getting any worse. I'm off this week for Thanksgiving, so I'm hoping the rest will do me some good. Plan to weed out clothes from my closet, do some cleaning, decorate the house for Christmas, and relax a bit.
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