Couch 25

The mastectomy was painful, but the reconstruction was worse. I had a double tram flap done. They basically made my boobs out of tummy muscle/tissue, but it was a 10 hr. surgery and 5 days in the hospital. If I were to do it again I would not do the reconstruction. They had to create a new belly button, and that damn thing took over a year to heal. I don't know what I was thinking. I think the pancreatic surgery is going to be bad, but I have cancer in my spine and two ribs as well. Hopefully as the chemo kills it the pain will diminish. It is more pain than I have ever endured in my life.

Packing up laptop...getting ready for the 3 hr drive. I'll try to check in with the ipod if I find any wifi hotspots along the way.

♥ You all... wish me luck. x.x

Oh damn. I'm so sorry Wiki. Cancer in the bone is incredibly painful; I watched my grandfather's prostate cancer spread all over his body (he chose not to treat it as he was in his 80's when diagnosed). He was in horrific pain. I hope the chemo works, Wiki, in treating it. I'm so very sorry you're having to go through it again.

My T just did implants with lipo-ed fat placed around them. She said those surgeries were easy. I've noticed since we've been hugging with more frequency and longer that they are very firm. They look natural, but don't feel it.

Oh, it definitely does not mean you are uncaring. Everybody's life experiences and situation comes into play, so depending on where you are, your viewpoint and feelings will be different.

My sister was complaining the other day about having to help my mom financially. We both give her some money each month (only $100-$150 each) to help her with her mortgage - and she provides us with childcare when we need it. My sister and her husband make a decent income (maybe $120,000/year or more) - and her husband actually barely works (for his dad's company) but gets a full paycheck. They are "strapped" because they spend more than they earn. So, my sister complains about giving my mom money and tries to compare MY situation to hers....as if we are in the "same boat"....Umm, I got divorced 3 years ago, losing half of my household income, then went on disability, and then lost my job....and am now bringing in half of what I need to pay my monthly bills...and unemployment ends in a month.

I cannot have much empathy for my sister when she has 10x the amount of money coming into her house and goes on lavish vacations 3-4x/year...and it ticks me off that she could even possibly THINK about putting us in the "same boat"....

I don't know if my boss will approve. I figure I'll streak it again over the weekend and see what he has to say about the streak, then see about doing my entire head. Certain client parents won't like it. If I still have to attend provider meetings and such, I might get judged by others there. Personally, f**k all of them, but I'm not going to upset my boss by doing it.

I just got home from work...just in time to grab a little something to eat and then head out to pick up groceries - then my daughter.

OUCH!!!!! I hate that you're in so much pain. ((( HUGS )))

thanks guys...you are so supportive. I am gonna beat it.

Off to sleep for a bit. I'll catch ya all later. Be good!

The day my partner's hair started falling out from chemo, she called me sobbing and I had to leave work, go get some clippers, and we sat out on the back porch in the sun while I cut and shaved her hair off. The part I had not realized, and that terrified me at the time, was how tender and sensitive her scalp was - I was so afraid I was going to hurt her while doing it.

guess it is time to bring my grumpy boy to the airport .i'm just sad and miserable

Do. Not. Hug. Stopdog.

I'm sorry.

This.

I'm sorry you and your partner went thru that Stopdog.

What if it rains?

Its built for Wiki. It wont rain.

You'd think the medical profession would have solved this problem by now.

Wiki - I'm sorry that you are in so much pain right now. I hope this is okay to say since I don't really know you, but I think it's incredible how strong and sweet you are at the same time.

Stopdog - I hope that your partner is okay now.

Okay finally all packed up...finally heading out. Grabbing a book from the library and grabbing food and grabbing card from walmart for my phone and then 3 hour drive across the state. Woo. Fun? Not. Oh well. <3 cya lovely peoples! I'll try to keep in touch over the ipod when I can.

Sila - I hope that you are pleasantly surprised and have a fun trip!

Good Luck Sila.

Hope things go well for you.

hi everyone

Hey there RR.

Ugh... Just got done with t, it was a good session... Just stirred up yucky emotions! Sitting in the parking lot have of 5 guys waiting to have dinner with my BFF!! Hopefully I won't break down during dinner!

They have the best burgers.

Sila - Have a great trip!

Healed - Hope you have an awesome dinner!

RR - Hi!

My daughter just walked in the door...and I'm starting my Thanksgiving baking...Woo hoo!