Welcome to the Couth that Would Not Die - Episode 37: Clean up that Cool Whip!

Is there anyone here from California?
I don't think there is, and that surprises me.

I don't want to solicit support when there are others who need and deserve it much more than I do.

Thanks for being supportive, (((all))). I am not in a good place at the moment but am not able to verbalise it, and I don't want to solicit support when there are others who need and deserve it much more than I do.

mu_e, you really are doing too much. Is there some kind of coordinator/work administrator at the hospital you could discuss with about how the nurses don't rinse your mother's hair, for instance? You're making the right call on not letting them relase her until she can be alone. I hope you find a job soon, too - that would probably remove a lot of stress.

. And I am hurt by the fact that I reached out to T on Friday and he didn't even acknowledge or mention it today. I never expected him to respond, but he could have said something, asked how I managed the pain, asked what was going on, what caused it at the time, something. I know I'm in long-term therapy, without quick fixes. I am fine with that. But still.

(((granite))) (((lola))) (((wiki)))
Thanks. It's T stuff, and work stuff, and social life stuff, and home stuff, all at once, none of it major, but just piling up. And I am hurt by the fact that I reached out to T on Friday and he didn't even acknowledge or mention it today. I never expected him to respond, but he could have said something, asked how I managed the pain, asked what was going on, what caused it at the time, something. I know I'm in long-term therapy, without quick fixes. I am fine with that. But still.

Now I have to talk to my t about a similar episode! Drat!

Okay, I promise this is the last time I will comment, MUE. You DO NOT have to do any of those things. Those things are the nurse's job. If you CHOOSE to do them, and WANT to do them, that is fine. If you don't, then DON'T. You are a grown woman. You CAN set limits. You can go take a shower, wear something you like that is appropriate for work, and go look for jobs. You doing all of this, taking all of this out from a job search, spending nights at the hospital, etc, is totally unfair to you, and to YOUR DAUGHTER. You need a job. You have admitted that your family will not be paying for your time. HOW is this right or fair to your child?? If you will not set limits for yourself, can you not set limits to protect the welfare of your child?

I come at this from the perspective of having a mother who took her parents into our home. EVERYTHING revolved around them and if there was any time left over, then we kids got some attention. We went without many things we actually needed because there wasn't enough money because my mom couldn't work because she needed to care for her parents. The rest of us were just supposed to accept that and not even feel angry about not being able to go to movies or do anything because it was for our grandparents. And then she went on and on to everyone about how haaaaarrrrd this was for her. How she HAD to do it. So, please believe me when I tell you that no matter how much your daughter may love your mother, and may tell you that all is well with you spending that much time with your mother, and not finding a job to support her instead, your daughter WILL be hurt and feel at least a bit resentful in the end. End of rant.