Welcome to the Couth that Would Not Die - Episode 37: Clean up that Cool Whip!

Fixated · Feb 13, 2013, 10:00 PM

SallyBrown, your response made me tear up. Thank you for your thoughtful comments. It has given me a lot to contemplate.

Feb 13, 2013, 10:03 PM

Ohhh Trdleblue... I find the whole idea of group overwhelming so it seems very brave of you... the few times I've done a group (not a therapy group) it has been very helpful for me...

I know that disconnected feeling and it is strange and hard to lose. when I feel myself getting like that, I try to do some things that Tree/Nighsky used to talk about...feel my feet on the floor listen for 4 sounds.. find 4 things red... just to keep yourself in the here and now... doesn't always work ...

Feb 13, 2013, 10:14 PM

Lola...whats going on with you tonight?

I found your interpretation of "no gifts " for valentine's day made me laugh

trdleblue · Feb 13, 2013, 10:20 PM

Thank you Ready. I'm still not the greatest at pulling myself out of things, but I do think it's improving slightly. I will try your suggestion next time. As far as joining a group I don't know what's gotten into me, but it's not bravery. I am quite terrified of the whole thing.

stopdog · Feb 13, 2013, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chopin99

Hey stopdog,

These reminded me of you. I hope you do not dislike them:

Welcome to the Couth that Would Not Die - Episode 37: Clean up that Cool Whip!

Those are not displeasing.

Feb 13, 2013, 10:22 PM

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something is more important than fear."

trdleblue · Feb 13, 2013, 10:22 PM

Goodnight all. My meletonin is starting to work.

Feb 13, 2013, 10:23 PM

Goodnight Trdleble.

karebear1 · Feb 13, 2013, 10:28 PM

Goodnight Lola- sweet dreams and all that mushy stuff.

Quote:

Originally Posted by murray

The thing is, I am concerned about posting much detail at all, but it is hard to explain without much info...sorry. Basically what I have been thinking about is turning my primary CSA perp into the authorities for something completely unrelated to me...morally it might be the right thing to do, as he has been breaking the law...but the real motivation would be to hurt him for hurting me and that's so wrong...and I don't know how to deal with that or any of this. I have tried so hard to not even think about him and now this info was just presented to me out of the blue(by someone who has NO idea that there was an issue in my childhood with this person) and now I don't know what to do. If I did do anything I would never be forgiven for betraying the family....ugh...sorry

It sounds like you're really in a tough spot Murray. I'm not sure what I would do either, but I have to say that I admire your ability to be honest with yourself in the decision process. Sometimes that's the hardest thing for us to do, and you are out right admitting that your wanting to turn him him to make him suffer the way you have suffered at his hands. When the time comes to make that decision I have confidence you'll do the right thing. hang in there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by trdleblue

I had the consultation / interview with the T from the group I may join. I think that I am going to go through with the group, but as far as the meeting goes - ugh, just ugh. Within the first couple of minutes she stopped to ask if I was okay. At this point I started to pinch myself just so I wouldn't lose control. She asked me several times if I was still there. I said yes, but at the very end, after I divulged a few things, I don't think I really was. I realized this as I was meeting alone with my T. I just felt strange and even more disconnected then I can at times. I was in a daze most of the evening, but now I just feel icky. I will add oogie and acky as well.

Sounds like you were really triggered by your group T experience. Do you think it was just what was talked about, or could it have been because you were in a group environment or both? I know for me the group would send me spinning in terror.

Ike McCaslin · Feb 13, 2013, 10:30 PM

G'nite Trdleblue.

healed84 · Feb 13, 2013, 10:41 PM

can't sleep!

healed84 · Feb 13, 2013, 10:57 PM

Lets talk about trust for a bit...

No secret.. I don't trust many people. Men especially. H especially. Poor H really hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. Heck, I have given him way more of a reason not to be trusted. Anyways- so it's been established. I don't trust people.

I am however wondering, for those who don't trust other people, do you trust yourself? I don't trust myself.. I don't trust myself to make decesions. I don't my own motives, my own inner voice, nothing.

Feb 13, 2013, 11:37 PM

Chris/Farmergirl's account is discontinued. Its always sad when someone leaves. Chris' insight always helped me. I hope all is well with her.

Nightlight · Feb 13, 2013, 11:46 PM

That is really sad. Mostly because both she and her family were going through such a hard time. Makes you hope that all is as okay as it can be. I'd start another "we notice when you leave" thread, except my last one didn't last for very long!

stopdog · Feb 13, 2013, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by healed84

Lets talk about trust for a bit...

No secret.. I don't trust many people. Men especially. H especially. Poor H really hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. Heck, I have given him way more of a reason not to be trusted. Anyways- so it's been established. I don't trust people.

I am however wondering, for those who don't trust other people, do you trust yourself? I don't trust myself.. I don't trust myself to make decesions. I don't my own motives, my own inner voice, nothing.

I do trust myself.
Sorry you are feeling so off.

Chopin99 · Feb 14, 2013, 12:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SallyBrown

I love these!! I'm sending one to H tomorrow.

[Note: I almost typed "I love you". Freudian typo?]

Should I be flattered?

Chopin99 · Feb 14, 2013, 12:45 AM

Just want to say (since it's now Valentine's day where I am)...I love you all. Even when I'm not here very much.

Just typing those words has me crying. Nighttime when I'm awake and H is asleep seems to be a time I remember loss and love and that I'm a person.

I also realized I did absolutely nothing for H for Valentine's. I think it's time for meds. Maybe T can help tomorrow. T on Valentine's day, hmph!

ETA...then I checked my FB and what's on top? My ex-GF posting about how much she loves her hubby. I can't win here. It's not that I don't want her to be happy, I do. Just on top of everything else, it was kinda like a smack in the face. Oh well. Que sera, sera.

Feb 14, 2013, 12:48 AM

Goodnight Chopin. Happy Feburary 14th.

CantExplain · Feb 14, 2013, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

Oh...and MKAC:
(swinger house, on a lake, with cool stairs)
((not sure if it's ours yet))
(((hate, hate, hate the furniture!)))

The furniture will be gone, right?

Chopin99 · Feb 14, 2013, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jersey01

Goodnight Chopin. Happy Feburary 14th.

And to you, Jersey. Good night.

CantExplain · Feb 14, 2013, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karebear1

See? See what happens when you leave for the day? AND then... did you see CE new thread about the couch- he's just asking for trouble. Pleanty of us warned him, but he just ingnored it. It's a fiasco I'm tellin' ya.. A FIASCO!

Nobody warned me because I never told them I was going to do it.

I have asked the bailiffs to remove it.

healed84 · Feb 14, 2013, 05:59 AM

Happy Valentines Day to my couch friends

sittingatwatersedge · Feb 14, 2013, 06:23 AM

Chopin can you write yr DH a poem for Valentine's Day?

karebear1 · 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Nobody warned me because I never told them I was going to do it.

I have asked the bailiffs to remove it.

I was just teasing you CE. Honest. I don't think there was anything wrong with posting what you did. I'm sorry if anyone else took it for anything but teasing. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings.

I think I'll go away for a while. Seems like people don't really understand me and I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings.

Feb 14, 2013, 07:33 AM

Kare that is not true. Im sure CE understqnds, he is very easy going.

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