Do you just sit down and talk?

When you go into session, do you just sit down a talk with no problem? Or does your T help you? Do you think it's wrong if someone needs help talking...is the expectation to talk w/o trouble?

It probably varies from person to person and how long you have been going in. Currently, it starts off with T asking "how was your week? Where are you at? What are your thoughts from last session? Etc...... So I guess T gets the ball rolling and it gets me talking.

No way do I think it's wrong to need help talking! I had a crappy T say "I won't force you to talk" and my response was " who said anything about force? How about helping a person to talk?"

I talk to my voices constantly. I know this is not what you mean, but this is what I do.

I also talk to my cats constantly. They talk back but I don't understand what they say.

My best sessions are when I have an agenda and I start off with what I've been thinking about or a struggle I am currently facing. I don't know if this is because I like to be in control or because I feel more productive about therapy if I have something I want to deal with and if I don't, I'm avoiding it. So I try to go in and say what I want to start with, although conversation might morph in another way.

Sometimes if I am quiet in the beginning, T will ask a very open question, like how have I been feeling. This might be designed to help me talk, but it doesn't really. The only thing that helps me is to say what I've come to say. When I don't make the effort to do this, sessions are less productive for me. The confound is when I get consumed by anxiety or am distressed, I want to avoid the stuff that is important for me to work on. T occasionally says "Is there something we should be talking about that we're not?" but I demonstrate the answer by avoiding an answer to his question. Sometimes I have asked T to ask me a question, but he'll say that nothing comes to mind. Sneaky that way.

For me, leading the agenda is the only way I can get things done. I know that sometimes I feel I want T to help me, and although I don't think there's anything wrong with it, it doesn't work for me. If I don't make the effort to say what it is I need to address, then I usually have a session where I'm obstinate and otherwise not cooperative with whatever T puts out there.

This surprises me. Try guessing what they're saying. It's not brain surgery or rocket science! . Unless they are unusually gifted!!

Even for me, miss yackety sax, there is a moment of silence at the beginning of a session, where we both look at each other. But then it's right into it.

My T and I sit down and he looks at me expectantly. I usually just start in (he doesn't do small talk at all) and go with what I wanted to talk about, if I have something. I think he's always hoping that I don't have an agenda, because he likes those sessions the best. He gets a gleam in his eye.

"Do you think it's wrong if someone needs help talking..."

No. (Except when it's me. I can't apply any of my own advice to myself, it seems.) I don't think it's wrong. If I'd been able to talk about stuff instead of storing it up, I probably wouldn't need therapy.

I normally start by asking for a cup of coffee (T will make it if I ask). Sometimes I bring him things to read as I can't talk. A couple of times I've started talking and not been able to stop. And one time I stormed in and screamed my head off at him.

I think the only time he ever started by asking a question was the very first time. Now he just sort of looks at me expectantly - like critterlady said! - and waits for me to talk. Asking him to make coffee helps give me some time to ease in.

It really depends for me. Sometimes, I know exactly what I need to talk about, or I've emailed T ahead of time, so we have a plan. Sometimes, I can do a little small talk and then get in to the real topics. Sometimes, I just sit there, and when T asks me what I need, I answer "I don't know."

Usually, on the days where I don't know, T will either help prompt me by asking questions, or she'll guide me through a grounding exercise so that I can quiet my thoughts enough to pick one out of the dozens that are racing through my brain.

Sometimes, I know what I want to talk about, but it's so hard for me to bring up that I tell T "I know what I want to talk about but I'm struggling to put it in to words." She'll help me get to the point that I can talk once she knows what I'm struggling with.

I don't think it's at all wrong to need help talking about things. You're sharing very private and difficult things with T, and sometimes people need help doing so. I usually tell my T when I need that help, though. I might say "I'm having a hard time talking about things today, can you prompt me with some questions?"

My T's not one to help much with the talking, and I've been stalled in the same pattern for 4 years, though it has gotten a little better recently.

She always starts by asking how I am. And I always say "I'm fine. How are you?" That's true whether I'm fine or not.

And she'll say she's fine or something very brief like that. (I think she initially intended her "How are you?" as a way to let me start talking. But from day 1 I've always felt like I have to ask how she is...it's the polite thing to do and all.)

So then, because asking me how I am doesn't work, she'll then ask how my week was. Lately I've been a little better about using that to launch into a discussio, but not completely. The rest of the time I say that my week was fine, even if it wasn't.

Ugh. For me getting started is the worst part.

Great poll, Fixated!

T is ready to go the moment i walk in his office, and i feel frozen. it is like i have to gauge his mood first, find out if i am in trouble, or if he is going to yell at me, rationally none of this has happened.

last time, it took me three tries to say one sentence, once i feel safe and get going, then things flow just fine...

It depends. I might have something I definitely want to get right to, but just as often I go and see what comes up. And often what comes up is not what I would have chosen to explore if I had tried to plan it. I trust that what is bubbling will bubble up because I encourage it.

I also have times where I am frozen, and those are times I go with what comes to mind, no matter what it is. It will lead us somewhere interesting.

I sit in silence for ages. I rarely say much in a session. We had a session recently where we talked the whole session. One of the few in two years of therapy and it was too much. Last session I actually thanked her for not talking much.

Yes... I come in and we joke a little , small talk and then me with , where were we? Then we play verbal tennis , with ideas about why and what. Sometimes there is awkward silence for my benefit. It's a balanced conversation.

Yep.. Basically, I just sit down and start talking. Usually, T will say something like so, how are you. And we just start... I generally have something to talk about at each appointment, so I have no issues jumping right in.

I almost always have something to talk about, but it's like it gets stuck so deep down. It doesn't even make it to my throat. It sits there like a pit in my stomach. Like my jaw is almost wired shut the minute I think about saying something therapy related.

T thinks it could be related to me wanting to be special. Like some sort of power play. I can't deny that there might be truth in that, but that doesn't make it any easier.

I am not a naturally talkative person. Words are special, and they take energy to say/formulate. I can have a conversation, but I don't ever foresee myself being able to sit down and talk, talk, talk for minutes on end. I've actually been surprised at how much I have been able to talk percentage wise.

I would explore the fear that keeps what you want to talk about hidden.

I wonder if the idea about being special is about what the risk is, if you talk. Do you risk losing that feeling of being special? Or will it prevent you from achieving the status of being special?

I have fears of sounding stupid to my therapist, of being boring, of disappointing her, and so on. The bigger the risk feels at the moment, the harder it is to talk.
Not that sitting there fidgeting and feeling frustrates is easy...

Hankster I tried to imagine exchanging a silent look with T, at very beginning at session, and the idea makes me quake. You two must have some trust relationship!

PS I think 'yackety sax" would have been a great name for a certain cat I recently met.

Before we even sit down I am off like a racehorse...plus I talk super fast.

I was the SHYEST child ever...sometime around college I actually started talking...it was ODD.

Sometimes I can walk in, sit down and start talking, a lot of the time though, my t will get me talking. I have a hard time opening up to people (in real life), and when I am having a really bad day, I need my t to help me.

Luckily my T usually starts the conversation. If he didn't I would probably just sit frozen for the entire time and be a shaking panicked mess...or I would blurt out something random to fill the silence, which I suppose is what they hope will happen. Yuck. Wily T's

I voted it depends, but usually I don't start talking right away or without a little help. I would not stay with my T if I was left to sit in silence the entire session. I have enough time sitting in silence outside of t.

Sometimes I sit down and immediately start talking. Sometimes I sit down and say "I don't know what to say". My T usually replies with something snarky, but supporting like "I think you have a lot to say". Depending on how things are going or what we last talked about, T will ask how my week was, or give me a question.

Usually when he asks me questions that will get me talking because either I'll answer it or I'll change the subject because I did not want to answer his question.

I usually have to sit and get my anxiety down before any words can come out. It does not matter what the therapist asks. It takes about 5-10 minutes before talking can happen with the first one I see. With the second one, she usually asks something and I can answer and it goes from there.

This is one of my favorite moments of the session. Not quite like anything else.

I usually don't go to therapy with an agenda, but my T does expect me to choose what we talk about, because it's my therapy--it wouldn't be that helpful to me if we talked about what he thought was important. He is very patient, so if I don't know what to say at first, he will wait it out and we sit in silence until I can find what to say. He looks at me expectantly, and sometimes he says, "I'm all ears." The expectant look is great because it is just so welcoming, "I am ready to hear whatever you have to say," it seems to be saying. I do find that expectant look helpful, so I guess T is helping me talk.

Current t usually begins with something like, "last week you seemed a bit unnerved when we spoke about blah blah blah, how did that sit with you thru the week?". She always picks up where we left off, but somehow finds out other things in the process. As stopdog says..."wily".