The answer to life, the universe, and everything - Couch 42!

((( Fixated ))) That is really hard to go only once a week.
It hurts to miss your T and your therapy, but you don't have to "do" anything, really.

I'm where you are, Fixated. I just went from 1x/week to 1x/biweekly. I miss T terribly and also don't want to go back at the same time.

Hello Hank, BipolarA, ECHOES, and RTS. I left y'all out of my post earlier (you're there now, but I wanted to say "hey").

I think it means we "inherit" their weaknesses. Which makes sense - they can't teach us what they don't know. We think we're doing the opposite of what they did, but that's still a reaction defined by them - eventually we settle into our own real identity that isnt based on theirs either negatively or positively, by working on our stuff.

Plus we absorb the mother's voice into our heads. Remember the strawberry cheesecake swirl example? She's just saying she heard the swirl. She's probably talking about how you're being mean to yourself. I NOTICE when I wear gloves when it's cold. It's not natural for me to do it. it's more natural for me to let myself be cold, not cozy. Does this sound like where she was heading? I know it's harder for you because my mother "just" neglected me, so I just neglect myself.

I don't think you left me out but ill take the double billing!! I'm excited about your teaching!!

Nite all. See you tomorrow, maybe.

Goodnight Ike.

Thanks Hank! I'm excited too.

Ahem.

I wanna hear more about you being executrix or not. What's the big deal?

The reference to the gloves is really getting to me, and is something that may be true in my life as well. I may be pondering this for awhile.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!

I love you to death, Critter, and I'm embarrassed I forgot to mention you. I'm so sorry!!

Granite

It's kind of a long story.

Well, like so many others, my relationship with my father is very complicated. I'm working through a lot of really old stuff. T thinks my father has been acting very selfishly since my mother got sick. My father has been more than willing to accept my help and support, but feels no need to support me. In fact, my father recently asked me why I was having a hard time, seeming not to realize that I could be grieving for my mother.

My father has decided that most of his estate will go to his great grandchildren. That's fine - it's his money and he can do whatever he wants with it. But he's made me the trustee for my great niece and nephews, making me the heavy if the kids want the money before they're 21. That could potentially be a 19 year long job, since the youngest is only two now. He's also decided not to specify in his will how his belongings are to be distributed, leaving it all up to me, again making me the one everyone will yell at and/or resent.

So, because of all that, T wants me to tell my father that I would prefer that he get an attorney to handle the estates and the trusts. I would like to do that, but for a variety of reasons, I don't feel I can do that right now. I would like to be able to, but for now, it's not going to happen.

Don't be embarrassed! I was just teasing. I love you, too!

Ooh, I'm watching the 6 Million Dollar Man. This episode has a very young and thin Eric Estrada and Elliott from Peyton Place. My antenna has a new channel, COZI tv. It shows Magnum PI on thursday night. Humma humma!!

Goodnight for real this time. cya.

Oooo, Tom Selleck. Love him.

I knew you were teasing, but I am embarrassed. That's why I normally say, "Hey everybody." I'm sorry you are going through this with your father. Family relationships can be so freaking complicated. Of course you are still grieving for your mom. I think your T is right, but you have to do it when you're ready, on your terms.

You know, Magnum PI was something my mom and I actually bonded over. We would watch the reruns on USA when I was a kid and we both adored Tom Selleck. I also liked Eric Estrada. One of my clients went through an obsession with CHiPs when I worked direct care and I got to watch almost all the episodes with him.

CL - probate/trusts and estates laws vary from state to state. But usually estate law does not compel someone who has been named in a document they did not themselves create or sign, to act. So someone can name you as personal representative/executor/trustee - but you can decline the position when it comes into play. A person cannot prevent someone from making them the executor of a will for example, but a person can refuse the position when that someone dies. Although it may be useful for you to confront your father for any number of reasons, his estate documents are probably not going to bind you into a position you do not want nor are you able really to keep him from it if he does not care what you want.
As always - this is general - check with a lawyer in your own state.

Yes, it was a happy day when I realized that Magnum P.I. was on Netflix instant. I used to watch it when I was little with my Grandmother. Now if only Fantasy Island would show up. It's okay though, because Murder She Wrote is there.

I found fantasy island too creepy.

That's really good to know, SD, thanks. I'll check with my father's attorney.

Oh yeah. I think I agree with your t, in principle. The principle being, you don't want all that hassle for the rest of your life? What is your dad thinking? Altho I could see him worrying that the lawyers will spend the money before the kids get it. But that's what he gets for not leaving it to the next generation, I guess.

I'm sorry your dad is being unsupportive towards you about this. I know you've been taking it hard. I have the opposite loss - my dad has been gone for over 20 years, my mother is still here - and still I dream about my dad like he's still here, and that he's not really gone. Same trick every dream, no matter what the dream is about.

So do you think your dad will change his mind? Maybe you telling him, you don't think you can do it, it would be better left to the lawyers, maybe you just get a computer report to look at, would motivate him. Who knows how long you have to wait?

Plus I am really regretting not listening to my ts 40 years ago. Really really stupid. and again 30 years ago. And 20. And even 10. it's only been about 6. Waaaaaay too late.