DBT - should i or ???

<font color="green">Because of abuse during my childhood, I used pins to make myself bleed, a drop or three was enough in the beginning. While I moved into needing to see more blood I never really started cutting until I was in therapy. I suppose I felt safe to use the cutting with a therapist to catch me if I fell. I never cut a lot or often but quickly began to crave the release it gave and slight high I felt when I cut. The cutting also helped with my flashbacks. I could stop one dead in its track with it.

Now comes the trying to stop and it is hard. I learned that I was willing to be hurt in different ways if the cutting was not allowable. Worse yet, I tend to claw myself in my sleep sometimes drawing blood. But I have not cut for about 4 months, and the scratching or clawing is waning too. However, anytime I feel anger I feel like I deserve to be punished. See after being assaulted by my godparents for around 3 years I went back to living with my mother who taught me that I am not allowed to even look angry. So I turn it all again me. I have started to learn to be angry with the right person but I have a long way to go with this.

Because I have depression and PTSD, I have been seeing a therapist for 4 years. I made a lot of progress but until I saw a psychiatrist, I was not stable but crashing regularly. Now on Lexapro and Wellbutrin I am reasonably stable. However, this doctor feels I have poor boundaries and am too dependent on my therapist. I admit I love her; she has been a substitute mother for me. I would be such a mess without her. So what does the psychiatrist want to do? He wants me to do DBT, a six-month course during which I cannot see my therapist.

I am literally scared spitless of doing this training and losing my therapist for six months. Even worse, in my mind right now is that the training may make it so I can leave therapy earlier. She has been my support and is the first woman I trust to accept me. There is still in my heart the fear that if anyone knowing the ‘whole’ story would despise me. I know in my head that I was not to blame but I still feel like there had to be a reason for me to have been abused in so many ways by so many people. First, my mother tried to kill me then my godparents used me for sex; my stepfather molested me and my mother used verbal emotional mental and physical abuse against me. It is small wonder that I feel like I am without value and soiled.

Well this is becoming a book instead of a post so I need to bring it to an end. I am afraid to try this DBT training but I can see that I am too dependent on my therapist and need to get unstuck with the anger and abandonment issues. I just don’t know how to do this or if I should do it.
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((((dalila))))
i think learning to trust your therapist is important b/c it teaches you that not everyone out there is going to use and abuse you. but at the end of the day it is a one-sided relationship b/c of the professional boundaries. now that you know u can trust someone else maybe u need to learn to trust urself...the dbt could help immensely there but at the same time if u feel ur current arrangements are working , well if it ain't broke don't fix it! perhaps u could slowly wean off ur therapist and into the dbt course?

I have learned that the most healing part of the psychotherapy process is the realtionship, not only the techniques..you have admitted in your post that you understand how important your relationship with your T is..I have brought another Therapist into my recovery who specializes in trauma work..but due to anger and abandonment issues..I could not do the work I need to do without my T being apart of that work..at some point it will be ok to let go of being so needy of that relationship..but its not ok right now..and thank God its ok not to feel ok about that..because otherwise the guilt would be overwhelming..it takes a long time to develope trust in any relationship, but trusting enough to be vulnerable with your needs is not a bad thing..and I have learned there comes a time when you self regulate it yourself..when you become comfortable that the other person is not going to hurt/abuse and the abandon you..and then something miraculous occurs the whole therapeutic process becomes the focus and not just the relationship, because you just "trust". I hope you talk it over with your T..and trust in that foundation that has created for you..best of luck..

I agree with those above. If it ain't broke , don't fix it. I too have added a second therapist. I did it under my T recommendation because of my eating disorder. She, the 2nd t, is very helpful, and it really seems to be helping the ED, but I couldn't manage her, or my life, without my regular T. I don't think it will always be this way. It's just how I feel right now.
I've talked to my T about my feelings of dependency on both therapy and him. I don't like that needy feeling. As Evangelistie pointed out, however, it's a part of therapy to learn that you can trust and depend on other people. When we're ready, the next stage is learning to internalize those relationships, and feel we can hear those voices within us, and depend on a blend of those voices and ourselves.
Your discussion of your anger toward yourself, and the resulting self-injury, I identify with completely. I, too, have only recently learned to start directing the anger outward. It points to wonderful progress and growth on your part that you are working through this. I wouldn't want to do anything to undermine that progress. I think it's possible that your therapist would be much more in tune with your needs then your psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is a medical physician, with only a smattering of psychotherapeutic training. I think discussing it with your t and getting her input would be the most important factor. Find what it is you both agree would be in your best interest, with the psychiatrist as a distant 3rd in terms of importance.
Hope things continue to go well for you.
Take Care, Quay

(((((((((((( Dalila ))))))))))))

I have never had CBT therapy, so I can't offer an opinion. I do want you to know that I stand in awe of how far you have come and how much you have grown.

I suggest talking to your t about this situation and see whar she says.

Hugs,

Jan

Ok.. this is strictly my opinion as to if it were me in this situation: NO WAY!

A good therapeutic relationship with a T includes transference. I don't trust any psychiatrist enough to allow them to try any kind of therapy anymore, only psychotropic medication management. I would doubly question the arrogance of the psychiatrist for wanting that. Many T's do dbt along with ongoing therapy... DBT is not a cureall for land's sake.

Going cold turkey from ANY supportive relationship is "dangerous" for me... and deadly if it were from my pscychologist.

Trust your instincts. Psychiatrists can be wrong. Hopefully you can say no and still have their support for medication. Be sure to discuss this at length with your T... I know in the realm of clinical psychologists, to "take" a patient away from another psychologist harbors on unethical practice. IDK about this situation, but it smells the same to me. Remember IMO!

Yup, Sky has basically said it.
Anyone who tries to pull you away from a supportive relationship clearly has no clinical training in the therapeutic process!
You have been abused, disempowered, dismissed, devalued, ignored by waaaaayyyyy too many folks in your life; don't let another one do it to you now. If I were you, I'd not talk to this doc one second longer.
If your current therapist feels dbt may benefit you let him/her make a referral, (if he/she doesn't do dbt). I've an acquaintance who was doing dbt and at the same time continued to see her regular shrink.
By the way, are you seeing a clinical psychologist? I think your issues require at least that much skill. Not that all clinical psychologists are "good", but from the pool of clinical psychologists you can at least hope to find a good one. Whereas a CSW, no matter how "nice" he/she is, does not have the necessary training required to help you. IMO.
Your doc claims you have poor boundaries and are too dependent on your therapist, etc. Did you ask for his opinion or did he offer it on his own? You come to him for meds management, you've got your regular T to discuss boundary issues with. I'm quite turned off by HIS lack of boundaries in terms of where his job begins and ends, and just what his job acually is about. IMHO.
I've been seeing a T for nearly 7 years and it's normal to see a T and be "dependent" on one for as long as you need to. Part of the process is learning to trust yourself in taking care of your needs. And if being "dependent" on your T is something you still need then so be it.

Take good care!
Let us know what you decide,
Love,
9874

My T is a psychologist and at times we pull out a DBT worksheet and a lesson if it applies to what we are working on in therapy. She will give it to me as homework and we discuss it or the effects of doing or not doing it at our next session. It is a good way for me to not have to "take a course" and still get some of the benifits with my own T.
Some of the skills are really helpful to work on, but I would never do them without my T who knows what's going on with me and if I get triggered she is there to help with that.
Just my thoughts
white iris

I don't do DBT. It teaches being emotionally detached from memories. basically changing your behaviour associated with that memory by looking at the memories from a neutral non emotional poiint of view.

Im already detached from my memories emotionally so much so that my memories are stored in my unconscious level of thinking so I no longer know what those memories are let alone how I felt when they happened. So my therapy program is geared towards not dissoicating , not being unattached to the emotions and so on. basically being co conscious and integration of those memories and feeling back into my conscious memory level.

But here is a link that will explain what DBT is and what is envolved with doing it. So you can decide for yourself if you are ready to do the extensive lessons, worksheets, handouts, flow charts, and so on.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/