Something is just wrong with me

I do not know what it is. I love my T he is trustworthy and nice. He goes the extra mile with me. I find some things I just cannot tell him. Not secrets though, I have never told anyone. This has to do deep things within SA . I know he will not lol at me, I know he will not call me names or even think poorly of me. But still I hold back. I had to tell him recently "I can't (as in say) he was very nice about it. Still, what's the matter with me I hope I dont make him feel like a failure.

Hi PasDeDeux,

Some things are indeed very hard to discuss. It may be that your mind and body just aren't ready yet to discuss them in therapy, and when they are, you'll be able to bring them up with your T. You may still have to be brave to discuss those issues, but you may find you can do so when the timing is right. If you truly aren't able to talk about them right now, it may be that your mind and body are protecting you until it is a better time. You may not be ready to discuss it right now, and that's okay.

Thinking of you and sending caring thoughts in your direction - hang in there!

Take care,
ErinBear

he won't feel like a failure. i never did when i worked as a substance abuse counselor. he'll just try and work with you to get to the point where you're comfortable enough, or not, to tell him everything. a good T is there for you and doesn't take things personally.

It's part of the job. It is hard to discuss things at times and he will understand that. Sometimes, it too painful to even say it aloud.

Pas, there are some things that can be very hard to talk about. I guess when the time is right you will be able to tell your T these things you are holding back on... My suggestion is not to push it.. Maybe you could write about it in a journal first.. and just keep writing until you can't write anymore.. Then maybe try telling your T.. If you find you still cant talk about it, maybe you could give him your journal to read. Try not to be so hard on yourself.. k.......

(((((((((((pas))))))))))

I think he might be helping you just by being there for you. By being present in the moment. and when the time is right you can tell him if you feel like it.
its by being there that they give us the most help and encouragement I think.
Like you there are things I won't tell mine. I see him every week but I won't tell him how I feel about some things.
PS. (I am not sure what SA is.)

Thank you Erin, Pat, Hopeful, RadioF and Winter
I just choke up and cannot seem to get the details...you know....the words out. . I think I look stricken like a deer in the headlights when he askes me some details and all. I hate this and me for that, but right now...I can't seem to force myself to tell more and I am just so frustrated.

BTW, welcome Winter and SA can mean substance abuse or Sexual Abuse. I am sorry to both you and Pat that I didn't make what I meant clearer

One reason why I didn't tell my T everything at first was because I was afraid he wouldn't believe me... And it's not always the fear of what he'll say, but it's rather what he'll THINK. I don't want to leave there with him thinking I'm a total nut!