Couch 56...Getting Back to our roots

Jul 25, 2013, 05:16 PM

Granite....

made up version of an actual except from xT session:

xT: Are you angry?
Granite: NO... what the h e l l makes you think that
xT: Ummm... I can feel the anger way over here...

I wish I could give you a real hug.

Jul 25, 2013, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

NOO WAY i just got into a 10 min arguement with a telemarketer who told me off and i told him off and he ended the call by going AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so i couldnt talk as i was asking to speak with his super visor. OMG

Leave the phone off the hook. It messes with their stats. The guy sounds like a total ***.

Jul 25, 2013, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Why do I start threads I'm too scared to read?

Which one? What is your fear of?

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by granite1

STOP why do you not like the velvitine rabit just wondering .as an adult it is one of my fav books .

I always thought he was whiny, and the book put way too much pressure on children to love toys to save the toys from something bad.

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

In the case of abuse, I have been clear in laying out potential consequences of actions or failures to act. Still not the same thing as telling someone what they must do.

I read your comments differently from this. I may have misunderstood

Also, is it only criticism of how a person does therapy that is off limits to you? Perhaps that is the distinction that I have been missing.

I think it is an important distinction. But for me, not the only one

This is one of those things that we will always disagree on. An action or inaction that directly results in harm to an innocent animal or person is an absolute wrong for me. I feel silence in the face of actions or inactions that seem certain to harm an innocent is an absolute wrong. What is that quote? All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to say nothing.

Animals are more my soft spot than other human beings. But the trouble I have with a forum such as this, is that one does not really know. I think you and I may consider what is and is not evil differently and I think you have more of a sense of certainty in this area than I do except in relatively rare situations for me

Again, I am often trying to help or get the other person to see how their actions are possibly impacting others by offering my experience. I do not see that as criticism necessarily. Sometimes it is, and in those cases, I do not expect it to be welcomed with open arms, but I also do not expect the attacks from the periphery about being harsh or whatever when I have clearly stated that this is MY experience with those same actions.

How is what others are doing different from what you are doing to the original poster? It may be, I am just asking. As for getting another poster to consider how their actions are impacting others in their real life, I think this is an area where we are going to disagree

That would be my point here, I suppose. I do feel attacked fairly often when I try to respond to people, even in just sharing my experiences or offering a statement about why another person may have responded in the manner they did.

Perhaps I misunderstand you when you post in certain ways. It is possible I am responding to the delivery of the information rather the information itself. Sometimes I see things delivered in what I consider to be a harsh manner to others, and then an upset or harsh reaction from you when those others object. Again, it is certainly possible I have misunderstood the dynamics.

It is not like I think I understand how to engage with others. I am not one to jump in and reassure others that they are liked, or go aww at pictures of baby animals, or children and such. I don't object to such things, but I have no particular response to them. I am baffled at any number of things others find reassuring and comforting as well as what others think of to do in order to be those things. So, in perspective, I could be wrong about my interpretation about all other human interaction except that which is mine.

Jul 25, 2013, 06:31 PM

Knew i should have stayed awake all night I'm exhausted from reading the posts from last night (yesterday?) Off to find some breakfast.
Hugs to all.

critterlady · Jul 25, 2013, 08:02 PM

I had a total puppies and rainbows session today. T is on vacation next week and I really didn't want to get into anything that would get left hanging until he returns. It was kind of nice to just talk and laugh with him.

Thursdays are when I work at the mammal clinic. The only babies we have now are raccoons. I love them so much. They're so curious - they have to explore everything, including my glasses, my hair, my pockets. They think it's the funniest thing ever to steal stuff out of my pockets. I always forget to leave everything outside the cages and end up chasing somebody to get a Kleenex or Chapstick back. Working inside a cage with 8 adolescent raccoons is the best.

CantExplain · Jul 25, 2013, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Which one? What is your fear of?

The "T Mistakes" one.
I'm afraid that public opinion will not support my decision to leave Madame T over her mistakes..

Jul 25, 2013, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

The "T Mistakes" one.
I'm afraid that public opinion will not support my decision to leave Madame T over her mistakes..

Should public opinion matter CE? You felt the mistakes were significant and outweighed the benefits you were getting and you felt justified in leaving.

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

The "T Mistakes" one.
I'm afraid that public opinion will not support my decision to leave Madame T over her mistakes..

The poll you posted, in how I read it, was not really geared towards this as such. For what it is worth, I support you leaving the therapist over her mistakes. Each client has their own threshold for mistakes, and what will annoy or be bad for one client is not the same for for other clients. The new guy you have sounds good. Is he able at all to help you with grieving the end of the old therapist? Even though you left her, and even though she did not seem to meet your needs any longer, her loss is still worth grieving properly, I think.

CantExplain · Jul 25, 2013, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

Should public opinion matter CE? You felt the mistakes were significant and outweighed the benefits you were getting and you felt justified in leaving.

Yes, but it's never that simple, is it?

CantExplain · Jul 25, 2013, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

The new guy you have sounds good. Is he able at all to help you with grieving the end of the old therapist?

I think the grief is done. But there is still doubt and guilt.
Have I done with her for ever (that would be simplest) or am I going to see her again some day (that seems more likely).

But underneath it all is the abandonment.

PS:

Like you, I'm not fond of the idea that therapists are human. They should do their jobs properly and leave the humanity to us.

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 10:06 PM

Unless she was trying to seduce you or stole money from you, I can't see any pro-therapy forum such as this one giving any one a whole hearted "the therapist was wrong" response. No matter how wrong the therapist was for you, there will those who defend her or exclaim her humanness, or blame the client, or talk about process and other such.

Jul 25, 2013, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

The "T Mistakes" one.
I'm afraid that public opinion will not support my decision to leave Madame T over her mistakes..

I don't think people necessarily read it as such. There were a couple of requests for clarification (in case you have not read it yet). There are mistakes, and there are MISTAKES. We all differ in our tolerance level for and how we define those things. I will tolerate things from my current T that I would not tolerate in a new relationship. I actually thought about posting a thread about thoughts I was having that the exact same action by a T being incredibly harmful for one client and incredibly healing and helpful for another. So an action that would be a huge mistake for my T to do with me, to make might be the exact thing another person needs to heal.

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 10:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I
PS:

Like you, I'm not fond of the idea that therapists are human. They should do their jobs properly and leave the humanity to us.

I am not fond of the idea that I am human either. Possibly even less fond of that than anything to do with therapists.
I don't deny therapists are human, just that it does not excuse them mucking up when dealing with clients.

Jul 25, 2013, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Yes, but it's never that simple, is it?

No but asking vague ambiguous questions on a public forum where others have no information to base their responses on isn't going to help alleviate your doubts. I didn't respond to your poll as i couldn't remember the circumstances behind your decision to leave Madame T, plus I wasn't sure if that was what you were referring to or if it was just a general question.

I know i ask for opinions from other members but I use this as a guide I don't use them to justify my decisions (9 out of 10 cats.....)

Jul 25, 2013, 10:28 PM

My older sister had her first therapy appointment today! Well, not first ever, she did try before, but first in quite a while and first with this therapist. ANYWAY, the point of the story is that in filling out the paperwork, she just didn't answer certain questions. When the therapist asked her about it, she told him that she was not prepared to answer those questions yet, or that she did not see the relevance of that information.

DANG! Way to go, Sis!

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 10:32 PM

Hankster - I understood why you posted as you did and I thought it was intended to do the honorable thing.

MKAC - good for your sister. I never give them my social security number because I pay out of pocket.

Jul 25, 2013, 10:34 PM

I find it interesting that over there you seem to have to fill in a lot of paperwork to see a T. Over here its the basics name, address, contact details, emergency contact. is this because of the insurance system over there?

Jul 25, 2013, 10:35 PM

Some therapists have intake forms so that they know basically what the issues are and what your background is before they even start.

Jul 25, 2013, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Some therapists have intake forms so that they know basically what the issues are and what your background is before they even start.

That would have been hard for me as I had no idea what my issues were. I still don't really, but i'm working on it.

stopdog · Jul 25, 2013, 10:39 PM

The ones I have seen are just a list of questions - sometimes with true/false or short answer. Not so much directly- What is your issue and why stuff.

unaluna · Jul 25, 2013, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Hankster - I understood why you posted as you did and I thought it was intended to do the honorable thing.

Thanks. Sorry for the angry rant.

Jul 25, 2013, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

My older sister had her first therapy appointment today! Well, not first ever, she did try before, but first in quite a while and first with this therapist. ANYWAY, the point of the story is that in filling out the paperwork, she just didn't answer certain questions. When the therapist asked her about it, she told him that she was not prepared to answer those questions yet, or that she did not see the relevance of that information.

DANG! Way to go, Sis!

MKAC.... I'm glad that your conversation with your sister turned out well... My sister's T told her that she should talk to me about the past... So we could compare notes of what we remember.. I wasn't particularly thrilled about the idea...but said we could and since then I guess it was May....my sister hasn't called me

:

Jul 25, 2013, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I find it interesting that over there you seem to have to fill in a lot of paperwork to see a T. Over here its the basics name, address, contact details, emergency contact. is this because of the insurance system over there?

This is all my xT and T2 asked. With xT I would only give my cell phone number and I gave a friends cell phone number as emergency contact and I paid in cash....

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