Couch 56...Getting Back to our roots

I would try someone else.

I'd settle for wiser and more flexible.

Marry me!

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!

I sometimes wonder how old MKAC's husband is.

((MUE))

mue what did your T say that got under your skin

I should probably refrain from kicking my h out of the house and telling him I want a divorce while I am feeling some intense stuff after yesterday t field trip.. Right?

CE, my H is in his mid 40's.

T was really hard today. We tried to cover the some of the CSA stuff. He listed things we could talk about, but I could not discuss those things. I think I said two whole things in half an hour. At one point, he said, "can I ask you X?" I sat there for a long time in silence and finally said, "well you can ask, but I apparently cannot answer," and then we both laughed.

that sounds tough .awsome for sticking with it. those few things were probibly a lot for you.

That's what he said. He said I give myself too little credit. I just feel stupid. I am in therapy to try to get better and then I just sit there in agony without saying anything. I know you get that, Granite. It's so hard to not beat yourself up after, isn't it?

He raised an issue between two group members who were meeting outside of group. Meeting with group members outside of group is discouraged for a number of reasons, but if it happens, we are to bring the main points of the contact back into the group to keep the group cohesive and whole.

The issue between the two members was discussed....and at one point, another group member chimed in about the understanding of not meeting outside of group. T said something along the lines of "group members aren't supposed to meet outside of group".

That rubbed me the wrong way. I told T that I understand that it's discouraged, but the idea of him telling me what I'm "supposed to" or "not supposed to" do doesn't sit well with me. That perhaps it's just semantics, but that statement triggered me wanting to lash out.

((( MKAC )))

Your T seems very caring and patient. I think my T has run out of patience for me, but it's nice to hear that other Ts are willing.

That one I see denied being wily today. I guess it is back to stupid. She seems irritated that I now do not forget and sometimes play with her. I would have thought her pleased that I was not falling for her ruse any longer. They so rarely practice what they preach in my experience.

He is really caring and patient. I just feel exhausted as well as dumb. I think part of what is so tiring is I went from court, to lunch with the whole office, and then to T and then back to court. I had no time to just hide and lick my wounds for a while. I just had to cram down all the emotions and thoughts and get back to work.

Oh, Wikid, you would have been proud of me. There was a hornet in my car after T. I am allergic to stings, but carefully rolled the window down and let it out and then rolled it back up. Unfortunately, I caught his little leg in the window when it rolled back up. I was terrified he would come back in the car if I rolled it down, but thought the wind sheer would kill him or rip his leg off if I got up to highway speeds with him stuck there. I actually stopped, rolled it down and let him go. He flew off, luckily, and didn't come back in.

First day at new office and job tomorrow.... wish me luck.

Had dinner with MIL and she is going to help me in the event the closing pushes to far off... its nice to have someone close to calm one down.

SD, I find that when the going gets tough, my T doesn't practice what he preaches. It's obviously easier said than done. When I told him, in so many words, that he wasn't practicing what he preached when handling our rupture, he didn't take it too well....to the point of threatening to terminate.

Good luck, Lola!! And that's great that you have someone to help out in your time of need! What a relief!

I'm going to try to get some sleep if I can. I'm on call for emergencies tonight, so I really should try to grab whatever sleep I can in case a call comes in.

Goodnight, couch peeps!

MUE. I don't if you have said already but have you tried acupuncture? My ex has cervical spondylosis and advanced arthritis and he says the relief isn't as good as other things but it is longer lasting, which makes it bearable.

oh good night mue sleep well.

Really would like to get going on some art techniques I'm adapting, but I seem to have become addicted to british murder mysteries.

Hey BPA! Yes, I have tried acupuncture. It helped somewhat initially - but then the help faded over time. I went weekly for about a year - same thing with reiki and an herbalist. But, that was several years ago - so I don't want to rule out the idea that it might work better now. I am just fearful of the idea of investing in any kind of ongoing treatment at the moment with my current financial situation.

Ah! Finances, I hear you there. Good luck.

How is Endeavor so cute??? I cant even remember the grown up Inspector Morse now! I am looking at the crabby old guy's eyeglasses for myself.

ETA: So yesterday at my new/old pdoc's, he writes everything we're saying into the computer as we go. He asked if it bothered me, I said no. Mostly because he says aloud his own comments too, not just mine! So when I told him the story about texting t last week, holding up my end of the relationship, he typed in, "mother transference improving, less guilty" or something like that! Interesting to hear his take on it so bluntly. He was a student before but he's a full fledged doctor now. It's a pretty cool opportunity. He is so smart.