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#101
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^^^^^ *hugs Michelle*
im not really sure how i feel right now. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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![]() Lamplighter
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#102
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Still very depressed after what happened at the last meeting with my (now ex) Therapist but I am slowly getting better.
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#103
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I am a but lonely and tired today. I had a very busy week at work with some very emotional things going on with children, so that wore me out. I am very.... Pensive. Needing to talk.
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![]() Lamplighter
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#104
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Do you work with children?
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#105
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I feel really lonely and let down. I finally found the courage to end an unhealthy relationship yesterday night and managed to go through a really triggering activity tonight, which should have made me "happy". But instead I'm sitting here feeling down because because I thought my t had told me he was going to check in with me today and he hasn't. I know he's not my friend and that he doesn't really care about me outside of it being his job, but it hurts that he didn't follow through; I have a hard enough time with t's and trust issues.
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"Beneath the dust and love and sweat that hangs on everybody / there's a dead man trying to get out..." |
![]() Freewilled, growlycat, Lamplighter, unaluna
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#106
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getting over the fog of being sick and feeling overwhelmed at all I need to catch up on.
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![]() AnnaBegins, Lamplighter
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#107
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I am feeling nervous about my T appt on Tues...I know she is going to ask my weight (since I am being treated for an ED) and I have lost more since last week. I am glad for the weight loss but I also don't want my diagnosis of osfed-atypical anorexia being changed to a diagnosis of anorexia-nervosa. My T has warned me that if I get underweight that is what will happen and I am not far from that. I want my T to see that I have been trying but my progress is not perfect yet. I can't stop the over-exercising or the thoughts of wanting to lose more and fear of gaining. I have been eating the number of calories she asked me to but no more...I know next time she will ask me to increase it again which scares me.
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![]() Lamplighter
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#108
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Feeling frazzled right now, running to stand still and have a heap to catch up on and don't seem able to manage it all properly - OCD traits really showing. At least therapy only requires that I turn up, no preparation or homework thank god.
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
#109
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Feeling dizzy. I had some yogurt last night, I wonder if that could be causing it? I am having a bit of a tummy ache. So I am having a lie-down until clothes in the drier are done, then Father Brown mysteries and later Downton Abbey. I am such an old granny!
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#110
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I am a director at a school for young children, and some cases of....different types of abuses concerning the children have come to light the past few weeks, so that has been very draining, as I love the children in the school very much.
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#111
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{Post Session Check In}
Today's session was a bit deviant from the norm, but so so wonderful. We probably only spent about 35-40% of the session verbally communicating and the rest was spent reading/responding to writing. She helped me process some old memories that had resurfaced from more than a decade ago. It was awesome. T suggested if I liked the format of this session to do it again - and I think I definitely would. Today was evidence of just how much I am beginning to feel comfortable about opening up to T. ![]()
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A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go... ![]() |
![]() Lamplighter
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#112
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I have no one to see this week. I don't yet know if this is the end of the road. (maybe I won't ever have anyone to help me again.)
I have exams that I'm not even close to being ready for. I feel sad, insignificant, and isolated. |
![]() Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, Lamplighter, unaluna
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#113
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Had to double check my phone calendar, when I got there. I was on time, not early. I'd liken it to the 'Tale of Two Xanax Clients.' The *huffing* and *puffing*, and walking into the waiting area, to a heated phone call over it[Xanax], most interesting.
One conclusion, post-session, about me; I need a good 8 hours of sleep tonight. I'm just overtired, overstressed, and wow, the ridiculousness of how much attorneys cost, and wow, how precarious, to expect someone to line up a job without actually having 'permission' and a 'time frame'. I mean, wth?! right? |
![]() Lamplighter
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#114
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I am feeling sad and upset. My cat has been missing since Thursday/Friday. He is quite a homebody and has never been gone this long before. I worry he is trapped somewhere and can't get out. Or a coyote or raccoon got him.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
![]() Anonymous200320, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209, BonnieJean, IndestructibleGirl, Lamplighter, murray, pbutton, unaluna
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#115
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I'm pooped, and I still have to plow through through Sunday. This is concert week, so every night I make the trek downtown to rehearse with the symphony and chorus. Our concerts start Thursday night and go through Sunday afternoon. It is wonderful fun, but I'm high up in the chorus seating about 3 feet below the stage lights and it is HOT!! I feel like I'm going to melt within a few minutes of being on stage. But tonight was our first rehearsal with the symphony and soloists and it was marvelous (and marvelously hot). Tomorrow is supposed to be seriously stormy weather here, and I'm not looking forward to driving in bad weather. Not fun.
Otherwise things are going well. Just a bit stressed with the busy schedule. My son leaves Saturday morning at 4AM for a quick trip down to San Antonio for a major marching contest; he gets back at 4AM Sunday morning. So much for good sleep this coming weekend. |
![]() Lamplighter
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#116
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![]() Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
......... ![]() |
![]() Lamplighter
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#117
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Major hugs for you Sunrise - I hope he comes home soon, fingers crossed. My cat went missing over the weekend and I had the same fears, luckily she turned up the next night, I hope the same for you ((((((((( Sunrise ))))))))))
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
#118
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Been carving pumpkins and looking forward to a spooky movie tonight, nice distraction I hope. Still pissed off at T - I'd finally screwed myself up to talk about something emotionally unsettling and the session ended up in an intellectual wordfest - what happened to helping me stay with my feelings then??????
__________________
Somebody must have made a false accusation against Josef K, for he was arrested one morning without having done anything wrong. (The Trial, Franz Kafka) Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind |
![]() Anonymous200320, Wren_
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#119
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Hurting.
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![]() Lamplighter, Wren_
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#120
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Frustrated and wanting to talk to my T ... but it's the day after my session so not going to happen
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![]() Lamplighter
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#121
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scared....tonight terrifies us
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![]() Anonymous200320, BonnieJean, Lamplighter
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#122
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after session blues. i tried to keep it light since it was a lunch hour appointment but i'm still churning.
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-BJ ![]() |
![]() Anonymous43209, Lamplighter
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#123
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I'm tired, but doing great. We had the first concert tonight and it went beautifully. Three more to go.
Think I'll see if I can get in to see my T next week or so. My husband is still wearing me out a bit. Need to vent and gain some perspective. |
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#124
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Flat. The only thing I've managed to do well over the last couple of years is to achieve good grades. There is no chance that the grades I'll get back in a few weeks will be good. That was all I had, good grades. And now I don't. I'm not academic or particularly intelligent, I just work hard. This last year, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and I couldn't keep up with the work. I guess I can stop pretending to be intelligent now. (I never actually did pretend, but my grades tricked other people into I was.) Oh well. I guess there are worse things in life. But I'm not good at anything else...
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![]() Anonymous200320, Anonymous43209, Lamplighter
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#125
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I am feeling bold.
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![]() Lamplighter
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Closed Thread |
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