Couch 65...Where all the fun is!

MUE-Good luck at T. So glad you decided to rest last night instead of give in and pick up the phone.

Good Morning All...
(((mast))) I am glad your choir leader helped. I would hate to see you stop something that brings you pleasure.
MUE...good for you. Rest is important.
Granite...glad you're ok.
Lola...sleep well
MKAC...I love that dog clip, cracked me the ef up.
(((Jerz))) my parents aren't on fb, but I have a brother who is on it with his wife, and they write all kinds of flowery stuff, and they have been awful to my niece (their d). I get so pissed, I just want to call them out.
Ready
Jane... nice to see you
SD... you too.

I just called my doc to find out the results from yesterdays xrays, and they told me the lab accidentally left my urine out over night, so could I please drop off another. Give me a break.
Still juicing...Day 7, it's getting so easy at this point. Still want Jordan Almonds though. Or peanut butter. I may eat a tsp of pb just to celebrate.

OH...saw these old photos of historic moments this am and loved them.
Mast: there's a Sweden one.
***TW***
there is a suicide photo that hit me hard. But the rest were worth the look.
40 Must-See Photos From The Past | Bored Panda

((wikid)) ((jersey)) ((granite)) ((healed)) ((mu_e))
Jersey - I'm going to stay until after we've performed the Christmas Oratory, which we'll sing on Dec 1. After that I'll see how I feel. It feels good to have a firm but short-term goal like that. And I would have been sorry to miss the Oratory - it will be the fifth time for me, performing it, and at this point I'm starting to know it reasonably well, which is always a good feeling. And it's such incredibly uplifting and joyful music.

Also, I told him about one specific thing in the rehearsal situation which I find difficult to cope with, and he will change how that is done. Behold the assertive Mastodon!

Healed...most of my memories are in 3rd person, occasionally I'll have a first person one and it freaks me out. I believe that it is real. Talk to T, definitely,
WOW...can you bottle that and save some for later?

Haven't made it out of the house.. Not even out of my pjs yet! Oh, well.. Errand can wait!

Healed...Have fun at basketball practice... Its so good to hear excitement in your voice (words) when you talk (write) about it..

Couch Thread: Interdependence in the T/Client relationship

Having difficulty getting my mind wrapped around the concept of "interdependence" ... I had to actually look it up in the dictionary because its a word that is not in my vocabulary... (I knew what it means in words but the concept of living it seems so foreign)

What does the concept of "interdependence" look like in the therapist/client relationship?

ETA: Adjusting the question... what would learning "interdependence" skills in the T/client relationship look like?

I don't have any idea.
It does not sound good.

SD... I know you aren't fond of hugs but what about "shoulder bangs" ? (thats what my friend and I used to do... like when we were walking side by side and something happened where others might have hugged in excitement or happiness... we would just sort of bang shoulders )

your post made me smile in that I expected you to say something like that .... there are someways that we are alike

I don't think I would define my relationship with T as interdependent, since he's not dependent on me. I think of interdependent involving reciprocity or a level of mutual dependency. With T, it's me being dependent on him. Period.

I see it more in my relationships with close friends or with my one sister that I'm close to. We lean on each other. Sometimes one of us leans a little more and the other holds steady, sometimes it's the other way around.

CL...when I searched interdependence on PC, I saw this post that you wrote...not sure the post was exactly on the same subject but I found it helpful:

"Many of us fear needing someone else because we haven't had good experiences with that in the past. Maybe people let us down, or left our lives in some way, leaving us to grieve the loss. That can be really painful. Being completely self-sufficient is a way to not let people hurt us. But it can hurt you just as much as being completely dependent can subsume you.

I used to say that I was fiercely independent. T says I've put emphasis on the "fierce." In order to keep people from hurting me by letting me down, I haven't given them the chance to help me.

No one can be completely independent. But there is a happy medium between being completely independent (and therefore mostly alone) and being completely dependent (and therefore losing yourself). Interdependence is a good way to think of it. There's no better relationship in which to develop those interdependency skills that with your therapist. Yes, at some point the relationship will end. But by the time it does, you will have developed the skills to get what you need from others outside of the therapy relationship. Moving on from your T is not something to fear - indeed, it's really the ultimate goal for anyone in therapy.

On a side note, my T has told me repeatedly that calling him between sessions for a crisis actually helps him. If I call him right at the start of an issue, he can help me work through it, but if I wait a long time, it can seem so big that it takes him a lot more work to help me through it. It's his sneaky way of using my desire to not be a burden to get me to do something that I consider being a burden."

I guess this is what I was meaning... so I'm going to edit my post

Ah, I see what you mean now.

For me, learning interdependence in the therapist/client relationship has evolved verrrrrry slowly. It's only happened because my T is a rock. It started with being able to lean on him a little and have him support me. In the therapy context, it's been me being able to tell him something that causes me pain and him providing the right response, whether that was empathy, or a different way of seeing it, or a way out of the pain. It started with little things, and as the trust grew, the hurts I trusted him with got bigger, deeper. It's still evolving.

As for the flip side of being interdependent, that is being steady for someone who needs it, well, that's been something I've done since I was a kid, so I haven't needed much there. But when I talk about my friendships, T reminds me that they need to be reciprocal, so I need to make sure that I'm getting my needs met, too. He points out when he thinks it's been a really long stretch of me taking care of someone else without return, since I tend not to even notice it. While I make the choice to address with the friend or not, he's at least helping me to recognize that there might be something that needs addressing in the first place.

Therapists do depend upon clients to make their living. There are parts of the big picture the therapist needs and does depend upon surrounding clients. Plus, those guys do have egos.

I feel like piglet in the deep woods... calling Hellooooooo

where is everyone...

Its 5pm... I'm heading home...

I actually got some real work done today and then took a break to google crochet patterns for pot holders (my SIL loves to cook so it seemed like a good gift). I found a cool pattern for cupcake patterned potholders. I am looking forward to getting started. I am also going to make these little tubes for the handles of my cast iron skillets.

I want to see them MKAC

Ravelry: Cupcake Potholders pattern by Hannah Kaminsky

that is to cute

Sorry I disappeared to work for a few hours. I'm kinda stuck on the whole interdependence thing, RTS. Not sure where it applies in the therapeutic relationship. I know it applies in other areas, even with my work family. I depend on them to pay me every week and they depend on me to show up every day, and take care of their most prized possessions.

In the T relationship it might happen if the T experiences counter transference? My T has told me before that when SOME T's know clients are dependent they will feed that dependency to keep the client dependent. So maybe in a situation like that...

Hey all..

Still haven't gotten any results yet. Grrrrr. Freaking docs make you wait and wait. Still in pain, but the ice helps.

I spent most of the afternoon at a lecture at the interfaith counsel about substance abuse, and how the church can help. It was the second in a series of four. The directors of the largest rehab in new england were there. As a child of an addict, the only way I can see helping is to take their kids away and then line them up and have them spayed or neutered. So, not being very loving right now. Not forgiving, nor full of grace.
Ick, yucky yucky wiki.

Still Juicing, but I did have a small taste of some kobocha squash soup my daughter made. (less than a tsp and it was pureed).

Sorry you are still waiting wiki... I wish you had somepain meds that work.

How long do you stay on just the juice fast before you switch to juice and food?

I'm curled up in my bed and just want to sleep.... But my older son says he is finally sick enough that he thinks he should go to urgent care... So wants to go after he eats dinner

Well...some do it 3 days, some 10, some 30, and some even go 60-90. So, right now I am thinking 10 days, but I'd like to push it to thanksgiving (which would be 28 days) but we'll see. One day at a time.

MKAC...those are wicked cute. Thanks for the link, I just might make them for my oldest daughter, she's a baker.

I just ordered H's Xmass presents from Abbey Road Studios (UK) Last year his gear didn't get here in time for xmass and I ordered it on Dec 1. (it came in the week after) So getting a jump on it this year.

Just passing by to say Hello couch

MKAC, I love the ravelry site! I am only a knitter though, could never get the hang of crochet!

I have T homework... Feels like a might be opening a can of worms...