Couch 65...Where all the fun is!

Im with Button Xanax and booze don't mix , at all..... I mean not even a little bit.... are you ok?

granite pls be careful, i've heard the same thing about xanax and booze, i hope you are ok.

Session with t2 went well. Had a major surprise...I didn't foresee... I may write more later.

Granite...are you heading home? Is your H home tonight?

Sack them without a reference.

Melissa81-

I understand the pain you've been though, and what I'm going to say is only because I relate...Sometimes you have to look at what you are spending your energy on and see if it is "worth it".

Is a mediocre T worth the trouble of paperwork and the anger it stirs or are YOU worth more than that? I was once reminded that I was spending too much time focused on people who drove me mad and not enough time on the people I love and love me.

I hope it makes sense and I hope you can find the best support soon.

Granite - don't drink and contact the therapist. Seriously, it never makes a person feel better the next morning.

Melissa - I am all for telling therapists they suck, but what is it that you hope will come of such an action? If is is just a release for you - then I would say go for it. If you actually hope to have some effect upon the therapist, I think it is a long shot.

Good to see ya SD, hope things are well and your meat smoking is bringing you joy.

Thanks. I hope they clarify what your job is soon. It is frustrating to not know, I think.

No, I don't have to quit because of that, but since I actually got up, grabbed my stuff and walked off, and went to my bus and went home, I can't exactly explain it away either. (When I posted here, it was long past the end of the rehearsal.) It's a recurring pattern for me, and I have to deal with it in a way that's not disruptive to the choir in any way. I've had a couple of people contact me to ask if I'm ok and I've told them I'm fine. So I have some time to think about it. I'm afraid I'll take the easy way out and just go back, but I know it would be better for me to quit. I doubt I will have the courage to do so though. I'm not sure whether to mention this to T today or not.

Mast, do you want to quit? If so is it because of the anxiety attack, or because you don't enjoy it anymore? I thought you liked it , so I am confused????

Well, it's changed a lot in the last year or so, Lola. I don't know if I enjoy it anymore, or not. I have never been good enough to sing in this choir, really, and I've been feeling that more and more strongly this autumn.

so you feel as though you don't deserve to be in the choir? Yet you do enjoy it correct? Or at least you did? I sang in a choir once and I love singing and I had these same thoughts... perhaps I'm not good enough or I even questioned if i liked it anymore.... but depression took me down a path where I questioned even the things I once swore I loved. Think about it .... before you quit, that's all im saying.

That sounds like low self-esteem talking. You are probably better than you think.

I broke down and emailed old T... I hate being labeled without a chance to protest.

If I could only believe in me like I believe in others.... is there a book for this?

If you find one...let me know will you, I need some of that too Lola.

I have been in a pretty dark place so haven't been posting here. c-ptsd sucks! Enough said.

I hope you are all doing ok, so sorry but I dont have it within me to read back over a few hundred posts. lol

what is C-ptsd? I know PTSD, but the pre C I am unsure?

Complex-PTSD

o ... sorry stupidity on my part.... I hate that sometimes I get such anxiety I can't sleep , hence now.. and I apologize for being unaware of what C-PTSD is..., no worries everyone is status quo, although I worry about Granite

No need to apologise, who would know unless they had it right? I didn't until I got the dx.

Sorry you are so anxious, I can relate...it is a horrid feeling. Do you have any relaxing things that work? I try guided mindful breathing when it happens for me....when i rememebr to! lol Hope you get to sleep soon.

I hope Granite is ok too

Granite...I hope your okay.

hey Jersey, Granite... are you there?

I hate sleepless nights, good morning east coast

Good Morning Lola....

Woke up once at 4:44 from a dream about my mother trying to abuse my son...hard one to shake but then i had to get on couch to see if Granite checked in....

Granite...let us know how you are doing....