Couch 65...Where all the fun is!

LC, good luck tomorrow. Hope it works out for the best.

I've missed too many days on the couch. Whats happening tomorrow LC? Whatever it is good luck

Thanks Ike and BP.... I'm just trying to forget about it, the ole' "if i pretend it's not happening maybe it will go away" defense mechanism.

BP-just a few meetings tomorrow about my title and job duties going forward.

good point.
does this give you any consolation? why would anyone who specializes in childhood trauma not believe a client? that seems so at odds to how a therapist would work, don't you think? have you ever told her that sometimes she seems to be stern and you get scared?

A promotion? Well done!! Extra good wishes then.

Lola... I will be thinking of you tomorrow...

I'm heading off to bed

I was sick so much last week, that I crawled into the office this weekend to catch up a little. Big mistake!!

Ugh, opened an email from the boss lady. Got chewed out for sending a work-related article to the team because she felt it undermined a research co that we use. Ugh...it was meant to back up this research co that we use!!! The numbers people on our team have never trusted them, was only trying to back up their validity.

Fine. I thought they actually paid me to think but I guess not, might as well be flipping burgers. (which frankly, has more meaning than my job at the moment)

So you're in a formal separation with a designated decision date?

No she is under contract until end of May 2014 and my job is 2 1/2 hrs away from hers.

My T just sent the perfect reply to my text about my next appointment. Whether he meant to or not.

Hi couch!! Busy weekend for me so wasn't around the couch much. Wanted to drop in for a minute on my way to put away the laundry I just folded then hit the bed to say hello and send along good thoughts and positive energy to everyone!!!

My son and I have been chatting and texting and emailing a bunch this evening. I miss him insane amounts though.

Ready, I was thinking of you and your sore knee today when I was working on the fence for the duck pen. We covered the existing fence in a chicken wire that should be weasel proof if it's tight enough. So I spent four hours putting it up, almost entirely by myself, trying to get it 'weasel tight." The clips and the special "clip pliers" absolutely killed my hands, and my back and knees are killing me. I feel as bad as if I were bucked off a horse. I will be joining you in the RICE routine, Ready. LOL. Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation for those who missed my earlier post.

Good morning couch peeps. We arrived at Monday. Hugs all around.

Lola good luck today.

Well, time for work.

Morning Everyone...
I'll be in the corner with the wounded and pain stricken. I screwed up my lower back at the gym. Pain shooting down both legs. Ick. I cried trying to get out of bed this morning. I asked H to walk the dogs for me, which he did. I don't have time to be in pain today either.

Granite - She is a naive T. She doesn't know how hot a radiator can get! Helz, I'll call the idiot and tell her. I think it would be very beneficial to her to know that she does this. It would help her be a better T. I definitely believe you.

Juice Reboot Day 4 - I feel much more alert this morning. Waking up without coffee is kind of cool, you feel awake right away in the morning.

Now time for some lower back stretches, then ice.

Root canal day for me.. I do have a panicked feeling, but I am telling myself that even if I do have a panic attack then, that is ok. It doesn't help that I have a nasty cold and I did't sleep well last night at all. I can do this!

lola good luck today you can handle whatever they decide to give you to do,i know you can.
it isn't weak to love someone .and you are doing ok with the separation,a little rough at times but you are doing ok.

thanks wiki. I find it so hard to believe that she doesn't know about those forced hot water radiators .she is older then me by at least 10 years. I cant help but think there must be a reason why she said that .thanks for believing me.did you have that kind of heat in your house growing up?.

There are places/areas that don't have/use those radiators at all. I've never even personally seen one. So I wouldn't be to quick to judge her as "naive" or an "idiot" or that she has some motive for not understanding that information.

I did point out at one time how sometimes boot camp T shows up for session .she smiled and said that at times she knows that she may be a bit strong but that is when she feels there is something I need to talk about that she can not let go untalked about. when she needs to know what is going on and that I am going to be ok. I do know sometimes I get things mixed up in my head . maybe she will drop it for my next session. a lot of times she does

Granite, I also wonder if what she is saying/implying/suggesting/wondering is if the burning was really done by your mother but that your memory is that you did it to yourself. That wouldn't be about her not believing you; that would be about her believing that the atrocities you suffered have scarred you in ways that perhaps you don't even really understand. She may be incorrect in perhaps wondering if that might be the scenario that unfolded in your childhood, or not, but I don't think this is about her not believing you. I do think that she may think you've placed a great deal of blame and responsibility for things that happened on yourself rather than completely on your mother. Just a thought.

Granite, I'd imagine that the important part here isn't necessarily about the radiator - but rather your reaction to the possibility that she doesn't believe you. I know that would be a huge trigger for me.

When I was in total freak out mode last week, one thing that really got to me was when I was at the psych ward for work. During my down time, I was reading books and writing out the answers to questions in the worksheets regarding csa. The client that I was working for had claimed that she had been abused in that way. The workers at the psych unit started asking me questions about what I knew about her....when I mentioned the abuse, they said, "Do you know if it really happened?"....As much as I could understand why, in this instance, it was an important question to ask, I was still quite upset about it.

Mornin, couch peeps....

Feeling weak and tired this morning. Gah. My grandmother is visiting the family that is at my moms house and taking them out to lunch. I'm invited. I really don't feel up to going. I know my grandmother would want me there because I'm the only hearing person besides her that would be there - and she'd most likely feel pretty left out otherwise. But I really have no interest in spending time with my grandmother. She's become so cold and judgy over the years. I'd imagine having to work really hard at engaging in conversation with her.

Gotta get showered and head out to work. Then, to the store afterwards to pick up pretzels quickly before meeting the family for lunch. My mom asked me to make choc pretzels for my aunts, uncle and cousin. Two of them head home tomorrow morning on an early flight, so I don't have much time to get that done.

Oh, and my taxes. Gotta print out and mail my taxes (RTS, LOL).

I guess if you grew up in the south maybe . but there is one of those radiators in her waiting room with a big warning sign about how hot it may get

wiki has never been a fan of my T and never will be .I don't think saying someone is naïve is a bad thing .it just means you don't know much about something or lack experience around something. at least this is my definition of what it means.

I am finding it hard to not think she had some motive because her just plane not believing me is hard to take. I cant ask her .I am terrified of the answer .I feel if she doesn't believe me I will never be healthy.

I owe I owe so off to work I go.... My dream of being a kept woman is still just a dream

MUE you will be fine, go you may enjoy it and get those taxes done

Granite I hope you have a better day

Wiki I am glad YOU feel better , I feel crappy and juice sucks!

Healed good luck with the root canal, you will be fine, Ill be thinking of ya'

MKAC - do you ever "take it easy?" BTW - one unopened copy of Jillian Michaels Shred available, she keeps giving me the stink eye as I watch tv... blahhh

thanks lola I actually am in a better mood today. thanks to all of you peeps here .did I say I love you all today if not

LOVE YOU ALL

good luck today .let us know how things went