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  #1  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 06:57 PM
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coconut64 coconut64 is offline
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I posted this on another thread and didnt get a response so Im posting it again and hopefully I can get some feedback.

When I googled my T I found out he was fired by a major hospital for altering a patient's record after they died. It happened a while ago but it's on the first search page. I have now terminated with that T (long story) but should that have been a red flag? Would you see a T with this on his record???????

Anyone else found something they didn't like when googling T? And did that cause to choose another T or stop seeing them altogether???
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
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  #2  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 07:00 PM
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I ruled out therapists who looked perky or too sincere in their pictures.
So yes, I probably would not see someone fired for altering records.
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  #3  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 07:01 PM
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I'm sorry that happened. If it were me I would have been honest and asked them about it and told them why it bothered me. I assume if your former T is still practicing that no crime was found or reason to bar them from practice but I would like further reassurance.

And no, I recently found some pictures but nothing too remarkable.
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  #4  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 07:14 PM
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Parley Parley is offline
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I have not had this happen to me but I would ask and then probably terminate. I'm not sure there can be a reasonable explanation but stranger things have happened. If I felt it was understandable, I might return.

If I decided to stay and terminated later than no~ I wouldn't think it's a red flag. I'm not sure I do now. Maybe it was an honest mistake and he initialed his alterations but against hospital policy.
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  #5  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 07:20 PM
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elliemay elliemay is offline
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I've never found anything untoward about my therapist online. There are always two sides to every story and if confronted with information like you found, I would have asked to hear his.

I mean he HAD to know it was online and should have been prepared to address it.
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  #6  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 08:30 PM
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Once I found the article that describes the situation I checked with our State licensing board and he was sanctioned. It's all there, public information. I'm really upset and don't know what to do with this information. He terminated me after nearly five years going x5 a week because I went through a terrible time, my life fell apart and I was late paying him one month. I was in crisis he terminated me anyway overnight no referals no nothing. The whole situation devasted me and I haven't been able to get over it. Im way worst than when I started and my life has been reduced to nothing. I don't go out, I don't talk to anyone and I don't want to. I want to trade my life for one of the passengers killed on the Malaysian plane who leaves behind five daughters and contributed so much to research and a cure for a terrible disease. I never thought it would end this way. Maybe if I had seen that article about T sooner. I don't know. T are supposed to be healing relationships and mine, even though he knew my history, he hurt me even further. So many Ts continue to see their clients during rough times. They don't abandon their patients. Why couldn't mine do that for me? Am I that insignificant? But what can I expect when my own mother didn't care enough to save me from my father and he abused me in every possible way. If I didn't matter to them how can I expect a stranger with what seems like questionable ethics to care???
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
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  #7  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 08:33 PM
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Thank u for your responses, I appreciate it.
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
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  #8  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 08:34 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
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I guess I would use the article about how bad that T was/is as confirmation that he had a problem rather than "me" and there's no reason for me to feel bad about myself/my situation. I'd do a better search job or ask someone I trust to help me find a T that might actually be helpful to me.
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  #9  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 08:40 PM
sailorboy sailorboy is offline
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Oh gosh at your update. I would consider reporting that behavior. How cruel!
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  #10  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 08:42 PM
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InRealLife45 InRealLife45 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coconut64 View Post
I posted this on another thread and didnt get a response so Im posting it again and hopefully I can get some feedback.

When I googled my T I found out he was fired by a major hospital for altering a patient's record after they died. It happened a while ago but it's on the first search page. I have now terminated with that T (long story) but should that have been a red flag? Would you see a T with this on his record???????

Anyone else found something they didn't like when googling T? And did that cause to choose another T or stop seeing them altogether???
depends on the T. our relationship. everyone makes mistakes, and he was probably just scared.
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coconut64
  #11  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 09:02 PM
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elliemay elliemay is offline
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well, your response does kinda change things a bit.

Bottom line - and I want to be clear here, I'm not minimizing your pain or what you went through. He acted quite badly with you if he terminated you without referrals -

However, try to keep in mind that this is just a therapist. Yes they are big to us, but they are just therapist. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they aren't.

At the end of the day our progress and healing is what is most important. No a therapist shouldn't get in the way of that healing, but sometimes they do.

Look to the strength in yourself, rise above this, and continue on. Life is full of losers, and it's full of really good people.

This guy is an idiot. Take a picture of him and put it in your shoe. Walk on him every day.

It's just not worth a second thought.
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  #12  
Old Jul 18, 2014, 09:29 PM
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growlycat growlycat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I ruled out therapists who looked perky or too sincere in their pictures.
So yes, I probably would not see someone fired for altering records.
Sorry if off topic but I can't resist…
If I had seen one of CBT's medical provider profile pics online, I probably would have ruled him out too.

The pic I'm thinking of makes him look like a used car salesman. A little too oily, smarmy maybe? He's grinning like Littlefinger on Game of Thrones.

Fortunately he has another pic that makes him look more balanced.
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  #13  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 12:28 AM
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Depletion Depletion is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay View Post
well, your response does kinda change things a bit.

Bottom line - and I want to be clear here, I'm not minimizing your pain or what you went through. He acted quite badly with you if he terminated you without referrals -

However, try to keep in mind that this is just a therapist. Yes they are big to us, but they are just therapist. Sometimes they are good, sometimes they aren't.

At the end of the day our progress and healing is what is most important. No a therapist shouldn't get in the way of that healing, but sometimes they do.

Look to the strength in yourself, rise above this, and continue on. Life is full of losers, and it's full of really good people.

This guy is an idiot. Take a picture of him and put it in your shoe. Walk on him every day.

It's just not worth a second thought.
I know that you are trying to be helpful, but research on the TELL website says that the trauma that when clients under go when abandon by a therapist, is second only to the trauma of being abandon by a parent.

What happened to Coconut is very serious. T's whenever possible should make an effort to have a closure session with a client, and are obligate to give the client a minimum of three referrals. T's who abandon their clients can be sanctioned and lose their license.

Coconut you need to find another T who you can process what happened. This kind of abandonment can be very damaging, and you deserve to heal from what happened.
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You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

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  #14  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 07:16 AM
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TheWell TheWell is offline
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You would do better if you could find a therapist that has been recommended by others. I went through the worst depression of my life and my T was there for me when I needed him. He didn't give up when things were hard. You need to find another T. Which will be very difficult because you were retraumatized by this T when he abandoned you but you really need to work through this.
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  #15  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 08:37 AM
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elliemay elliemay is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Depletion View Post
I know that you are trying to be helpful, but research on the TELL website says that the trauma that when clients under go when abandon by a therapist, is second only to the trauma of being abandon by a parent.

What happened to Coconut is very serious. T's whenever possible should make an effort to have a closure session with a client, and are obligate to give the client a minimum of three referrals. T's who abandon their clients can be sanctioned and lose their license.

Coconut you need to find another T who you can process what happened. This kind of abandonment can be very damaging, and you deserve to heal from what happened.
Look, I'm not saying that it's not a trauma. I'm not saying that it's not painful, or awful. I thought I made that clear. Sudden termination is unethical and I indicated that in post.

However, I think even with the most horrible trauma, there is always room for some perspective about it. It comes with time, and it hurts right now, but the mental framework within which we view these things can help our process.

We can either view it as a life destroying event, or we can view it as something to overcome, something we survived. And that someone who was bad did something bad to us. We are shaken, but not broken.

I think we need to deal with the shaken. Place focus on regaining our footing, our strength. Sometimes we need to say "i'm not giving this guy another moment of my time". It doesn't mean that we aren't going to give him another moment, but with that statement we are getting our lives back a little at a time.

I appreciate your comments and understand how you may have missed my intent.

I hope this clarifies my thoughts on the matter.
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  #16  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 03:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay View Post
Look, I'm not saying that it's not a trauma. I'm not saying that it's not painful, or awful. I thought I made that clear. Sudden termination is unethical and I indicated that in post.

However, I think even with the most horrible trauma, there is always room for some perspective about it. It comes with time, and it hurts right now, but the mental framework within which we view these things can help our process.

We can either view it as a life destroying event, or we can view it as something to overcome, something we survived. And that someone who was bad did something bad to us. We are shaken, but not broken.

I think we need to deal with the shaken. Place focus on regaining our footing, our strength. Sometimes we need to say "i'm not giving this guy another moment of my time". It doesn't mean that we aren't going to give him another moment, but with that statement we are getting our lives back a little at a time.

I appreciate your comments and understand how you may have missed my intent.

I hope this clarifies my thoughts on the matter.
Ellimay, I think that you an I might have different ideas about what feels validating (and that's ok). Sorry if I had a knee jerk reaction to your post. I just worry about someone's pain not getting heard loud enough. And I wanted to to be clear that abandonment is very damaging. I'm a survivor of abandonment, and I find that people tend to minimize it, or they don't understand it the same as abuse, because there isn't a list of horrible actions that the survivor can recount, that everyone will automatically see as awful. I think I may have just wanted this acknowledged for personal reasons.

But I think I understand now. You didn't want the OP to feel like they are nothing, or like they don't have any power. Fair enough. I think that may have just misunderstood your post. Thanks for caring, I'm sorry I didn't see it.
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Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

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  #17  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 03:44 PM
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T terminated me in 2012 and I'm still like this. Before I started therapy, I had a job, a boyfriend, friends, a life. Now I have nothing, I'm just a waste of space.

Ellemay thank you for coming back to clarify your thoughts. I'm devastated by what happened. It wasn't just T abandoning me, a lot of things happened at the same time. I lost my job, my fiance, my hair, my dog. I lost everything and in the middle of this, with more coming, T said oif you don't pay me by Friday, it's over. And he followed through. After nearly five years, after thousands and thousands of $ spent going there x5/week. I'm sorry but I'm not shaken. I was broken before I started therapy, that's why I went. Now I'm shattered, the last place I want to go to is to start another professional relationship. That's the excuse he gave me that it was a professional relationship and that he didn't owe me anything. I'm so ashamed that I wanted him to help me, to be at his office feeling safe again when to him it meant nothing. He has moved on with his life. After a month or two after he terminated me, he was advertising at one of those professional sites mentioning he had availability. For him it's just a revolving door. He moved on but I was left mortally wounded on the battlefield. He then got married, went to Maui on his honeymoon and he now has a website because he read an article that Ts need to have a website with a photo to create a personal brand and so that clients can feel connected to them. One of my patterns is that in relationships I end up rejected/abandoned. He knew that but he did it anyway. So it has to be me. All me. So no, I'm not putting myself through that again. Ever.
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
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  #18  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Depletion View Post
Ellimay, I think that you an I might have different ideas about what feels validating (and that's ok). Sorry if I had a knee jerk reaction to your post. I just worry about someone's pain not getting heard loud enough. And I wanted to to be clear that abandonment is very damaging. I'm a survivor of abandonment, and I find that people tend to minimize it, or they don't understand it the same as abuse, because there isn't a list of horrible actions that the survivor can recount, that everyone will automatically see as awful. I think I may have just wanted this acknowledged for personal reasons.

But I think I understand now. You didn't want the OP to feel like they are nothing, or like they don't have any power. Fair enough. I think that may have just misunderstood your post. Thanks for caring, I'm sorry I didn't see it.
Depletion thank you for your understanding and for clarifying how painful this all is. I'm sorry you had to go through it as well.
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
  #19  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 05:24 PM
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Quote:
I'm sorry but I'm not shaken. I was broken before I started therapy, that's why I went. Now I'm shattered, the last place I want to go to is to start another professional relationship. That's the excuse he gave me that it was a professional relationship and that he didn't owe me anything. I'm so ashamed that I wanted him to help me, to be at his office feeling safe again when to him it meant nothing. He has moved on with his life. After a month or two after he terminated me, he was advertising at one of those professional sites mentioning he had availability. For him it's just a revolving door. He moved on but I was left mortally wounded on the battlefield. He then got married, went to Maui on his honeymoon and he now has a website because he read an article that Ts need to have a website with a photo to create a personal brand and so that clients can feel connected to them. One of my patterns is that in relationships I end up rejected/abandoned. He knew that but he did it anyway. So it has to be me. All me. So no, I'm not putting myself through that again. Ever.
Therapy should always be more than a professional relationship. Are there professional boundaries and expectations, of course, but T's do something that is personal, and it should have some personal meaning for them. They should care about you deeply and in the right ways.

What your T did is very wrong, I'm so sorry that it has made you feel like you cannot trust T's. I hope that some point you are able to find a new T. If you think it might be healing you might consider notifying the professional boar your T is associated with of his actions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by coconut64 View Post
Depletion thank you for your understanding and for clarifying how painful this all is. I'm sorry you had to go through it as well.

I appreicate you saying this. I hope that you are able to heal from everything that went on. No one deserves to be abandon.
You can PM me if you want to talk more.
__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

--leonard cohen
  #20  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 07:40 PM
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This T, my exT, he was disciplined by the state licensing board for altering patients records after the fact. He had to pay a fine, it's on the record. I didn't google him or check with the board before I went to see him. He came highly recommended and he is considered an expert in trauma. He is also the director of a counseling center.
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
  #21  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 07:40 PM
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coconut64 coconut64 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Depletion View Post
Therapy should always be more than a professional relationship. Are there professional boundaries and expectations, of course, but T's do something that is personal, and it should have some personal meaning for them. They should care about you deeply and in the right ways.

What your T did is very wrong, I'm so sorry that it has made you feel like you cannot trust T's. I hope that some point you are able to find a new T. If you think it might be healing you might consider notifying the professional boar your T is associated with of his actions.



I appreicate you saying this. I hope that you are able to heal from everything that went on. No one deserves to be abandon.
You can PM me if you want to talk more.
Thank you
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
  #22  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheWell View Post
You would do better if you could find a therapist that has been recommended by others. I went through the worst depression of my life and my T was there for me when I needed him. He didn't give up when things were hard. You need to find another T. Which will be very difficult because you were retraumatized by this T when he abandoned you but you really need to work through this.
You don't have to reply if you don't want to, but when things were hard did you stop payment at any time and he still continue to see you?
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
  #23  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 07:55 PM
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Anyone has a T that has continued to see you even if you lost your job and couldn't pay temporarily? I told my T that I would pay that I had the funds that I just had to get through the crisis but it wasn't good enough for him. He abandoned me anyway and told me it wasn't abandonment.
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The patient's job is to repeat in the therapy all the stuff that has been disastrous before. The T's job is to not let it happen, but to point out how it is happening.
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  #24  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 08:07 PM
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I just stopped going to therapy when I ran out of money because I didn't want to create an awkward situation. I'm sure the answer would have been no if i asked to temporarily not pay, though.
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  #25  
Old Jul 19, 2014, 08:16 PM
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Lauliza Lauliza is offline
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The practice my T and Pdoc are at ask for credit/debit card info in the initial start up paperwork. So if you miss a payment, they charge your card automatically. If you don't give that info then they will bill you. I had an issue with my card once and I called their billing department and she let me pay in 3 payments, over 2 weeks. but that was as flexible as it got. I've read reviews online and there are some scathing ones about this policy and that do say receptionists won't schedule appointments for you if you owe any money. The providers try to stay pretty from any financial dealings. My instinct would be to cancel if I knew I couldn't afford it.
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