Couch 79: Spend some time on Couch 79 (snap, snap)

Do you mind posting the DBT web site, Ready? My T said it (DBT) wouldn't benefit me then said I should look at some of it...which means he doesn't know if it would or not, ha. It was actually confusing because he totally changed what he was saying, but I guess that's allowed.

I have "The Feeling Good Handbook" which is kinda like "being normal" I think (not that I would know exactly)...but it's CBT all the way.

Dbtselfhelp.com. My T gave me a few handouts so I'm looking at those areas. Not sure this site takes you through all the lessons or not. Someone posted link on another area of PC.

Take good care of yourself, H!Hope the symptoms turn out to be false alarm.

Got your superhero costume all dry cleaned and ready CE?

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Oh gods yes! Went canoeing with H a few weeks ago and he wanted the double canoe... Ugh.

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I'm sorry Artemis. I hate pushy salespeople. I have no idea why some companies think it's a good idea

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Feel better Hankster. Is there a :tea: icon? There should be...

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I found the prison example really helpful to my thinking....if you are up to reading check this out and let me know your thoughts

Radical Acceptance Part 4

me & debra messing & mariska hargitay

& cough syrup & lemon ginger tea & vitamins. Feeling better but it could be the cough syrup. But i dont think ive sneezed in an hour, knock on wood!

My ex-husband had never paddled at all and I had...I was so annoyed. It really ruined the peacefulness of the experience, trying to tell him what to do so we could actually move forward instead of against each other.

Do you mind explaining how you found it helpful? I think I need help. I keep thinking about getting released later on DNA evidence, and also wondering about conditions in the prison (and "Orange is the New Black"). And also prison as a metaphor for life.

I found the prison vs. purple house vs. marriage examples all so different. I mean, of course I would just go paint the house...no big deal. As for the negative qualities in someone I married...I don't believe in "radical acceptance" of such a thing. It would depend on what the qualities were! If they turned out to be a horrible person, I would divorce them. And I certainly wouldn't think I could ever change someone else.

zoiks, it's flu shot time again for me too! better add that to my list!

Well, the premise is that in order to change things you must first accept them. Take me, I have accepted that my marriage is never going to make me happy. I want to be happy, I have spent many years trying to make my marriage work so I can be happy. I've been wasting my time and getting more and more unhappy as time goes by. So, in order to achieve happiness I must accept my unhappy situation and stop pretending to myself that I can make it okay if I just try hard enough.

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Hmm. OK, I am not trying to give you a hard time, but that sounds painful. And sad. Why is it ok to accept being unhappy? That seems very wrong to me. Like, I knew my now ex-husband and I were never going to be happy (despite his efforts to keep wanting to try), so I initiated the ending of our marriage...frankly so we could hopefully both move on and be happier (which I assume he later agreed with because he is remarried with a child...and I have talked to him a few times and he seems happy). So in your case how does it work that you can achieve happiness by accepting being in an unhappy situation?

That sounds like the state of mind I am aiming for. Er, except for the changing things bit... what I want is the state where I don't wish for things that will never happen, or never work.

I think life would be much less painful that way, wouldn't it? Pure logic and no emotion.

For hankster:

Ha ha...I love someecards...I look at them some days just because they make me laugh when nothing else can.

Growlycat, I once had a diabetic cat as well (my best friend has one right now)...it's horribly stressful, isn't it? I remember her first insulin shot I gave...it went through her and not really into her and I totally freaked out.
(Sorry about the random link from the other post...)

Poor baby is passed on now, but I miss my sugar baby!!!

Yes, I've done that--given a shot that goes all the way through the "skin tent" to the other side! He was so good about shots and we managed to treat it for 8 years.

At 14, his poor body gave out and I had to put him down.

He went through diabetic keto acidosis once that landed him in the hospital for 2 weeks--nearly bankrupted me. But it is hard to know when to stop.

I hope your friend knows it is OK to let go when the time comes.

My girl was an awesome cat...very grumpy with everyone else but fearless overall, and she was my faithful little shadow. My cat had diabetes for only a matter of months before her kidneys failed...she was 13.

You were very dedicated...8 years is a long time! I am sorry for your loss; I know that must have been very painful.

Yes, my friend's cat is managing well...he also has thyroid and kidney issues, so it's very complicated. The cat also goes in and out of being diabetic, which is a further challenge.

I always sigh when people say that cats are easy...I haven't owned an "easy" cat yet!

Indeed. And given that emotions are simply electrical impulses and biochemical reactions, I don't see why it shouldn't be possible. For me, that would mean a much better life in almost every way.

On the bus to T...

Until I accept that the situation is what's causing my unhappiness I can't change it. I have literally spent a decade refusing to accept that I can't be happy and stay married.
I'm happier and more confidant than I've been in years, knowing what I need to do to have the life I want. And I will have it, but it's a process. I've been very worn down by the last 10 years.
I accept that my situation is unhappy right now. I'm not resigned to it though. I can change it and I will. Actually, I *am* changing it. Every day I get stronger. Acceptance and resignation are two entirely different things. Acceptance gives you power. Resignation is defeat.

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(((Mast)))
This is resignation. Please don't do that to yourself.

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Oh, ok...I get it now. I am glad you are moving toward what you need and what will make you happy!